


Plain White Walls

by Probably_Not_Batman



Series: A House Is Not A Home [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse Mentions, Albino Characters, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Characters and Relationships may change, Crushes, Diabetic Character, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humanstuck, Language, M/M, Mutism, New School, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Selective Mute Eridan, Trans Character, blood mentions, murder mentions, slight self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:05:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 118,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Probably_Not_Batman/pseuds/Probably_Not_Batman
Summary: Eridan had been unable to speak for as long as he could remember, and anything before that he doesn't want too. When circumstances send him to live with his brother, he finds himself at a school for the first time in his life. As he learns how to deal with people and grow as a person, will he finally be able to face his past head on?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is an idea that I've had for a while and I have most of the story fleshed out. Updates should come weekly, unless inspiration strikes or life happens. Comments are always appreciated!  
> Tags for this chapter:  
> Panic attacks, Possible blood mentions, Language

Eridan couldn’t help staring out the window, green eyes flicking from house to house as they passed. It was somewhere he’d never expected his brother to live, this sort of cheery suburb. The houses all seemed to match, making Eridan grimace at the perfection. The endless expanses of cut lawns lined with pale driveways and picket fences, the prim gardens and squat houses that seemed far too happy with their shiny windows and comfortable porches. There were small differences, though they seemed to minute to cut into his discomfort. The pale paint of the outside almost made him gag, but at least it wasn’t white.

He pulled his eyes from the houses to stare at his lap, the cream of a blank page tempting his pencil as he lightly sketched lines infested with shake and bumps from the smallest of imperfections on the road beneath the car. An eye formed, the face slowly coming into being. One of his friends, his best friend, the pencil that had lined her face shaky but at least he could tell it was her. A sharp pain cut through his chest and he closed the sketchbook quickly before the burn could work its way to behind his eyes. He didn’t want to cry anymore, he’d done enough of that to last a life time.

“You feelin alright, chief?” came a voice from beside him, deep and smooth. Sometimes he envied his brothers voice, which was the reason he was so quickly rising through the musical ranks. Then again, he envied any voice at all, wondering often what his own would sound like. Probably raspy from disuse, if the thing could even work at all.

He glanced at him, the elder looking concerned from the crease of his brow to the way his teeth worried at the unlit cigarette in his mouth. Eridan grimaced at the sight. He could practically smell it; the scent having been burned into his memory by years of feeling it searing his lungs and tasting it on his tongue. Even the thought of it made his chest feel tight and he wheezed out a small cough before nodding to his brother.

Cronus sighed, taking a hand off the steering and running it through his hair. At least, as much as he could with the amount of grease and product he had slicking it back. It seemed that excessive hair styling ran in the family, though that was all the brother had in common. In fact, if Eridan hadn’t seen his birth certificate he would have sworn he was adopted. Cronus took after their father, the same tall, broad shouldered figure. Of course, his face was kinder and less scarred, his blue eyes shining with mischief rather than cold and calculating. But they shared the same sharp features, olive skin and dark hair that came from the Greek half of their family.

On the other hand, Eridan stood out. The black sheep of the family, or more so pale sheep. He was told he took after his mother, though he’d never met her. In fact, he’d only seen one picture of her and that had been when he was young. He was much shorter than both his brother and his father, his skin extremely pale with freckles across his cheeks, his eyes green rather than blue and nearsighted to the point that he was almost blind without his glasses. He glanced into the mirror, fidgeting nervously, and fixing his hair, the bright ginger always sticking out with natural curls, including a blonde streak which grew naturally at the front. He’d tried dying it before, but it proved to troublesome to keep up with so he let it be.

“You know, I’ve been learnin how to understand sign language. This chick at my school uses it too, and her boyfriend. Creepy asshole.” He muttered the last part, plucking the cigarette from his lips and pressing it into the box before pulling out a fresh one. Once this one was stuck between his teeth he pulled a lighter from his jacket pocket.

Eridan frowned, his tongue making a soft click against the roof of his mouth of disapproval. Cronus glanced at him, then huffed and put the cigarette back in the box and shoved it into his pocket. It made Eridan feel a bit better at least, though he huffed indignantly as the free hand moved to ruffle his hair.

The elder Ampora chuckled, turning his eyes back to the road. “Like I said. I’ve been tryin to learn a little. I know I didn’t try or help all that much back home…but I didn’t exactly think you wanted to write down everything you have to say. Now, I’m not sayin I’ll get everythin or be perfect at it, but I’ll do my best. Alright?”

‘ _Thanks, Cronus_ ,’ Eridan signed. It certainly made things easier, though it wouldn’t help him much in school. At least home here might be more comfortable than back in the city. The memory of a sharp voice made him cringe, his hand on his throat. It had been almost thirteen years since he’d last spoken, though he could hardly remember anything before that point. Not that he wanted to, but who would?

“I’d sign back, but kinda got to keep my hands on the steering wheel,” Cronus said, shooting him a smirk. “But yeah just keep it simple and I should be able to keep up.”

Eridan grinned, his hands moving quickly. ‘ _Well I’ll try to keep it simple and slow. And thanks again Cronus. I mean I know sign language isn’t that easy to learn and from what you’ve told me about your college friends I’ll assume that- “_

Cronus cuffed him halfheartedly, rolling his eyes. “Brat.” Amusement kept his voice light and Eridan couldn’t help snickering. Or, as much as he could. It mostly sounded like airy wheezing, which made Cronus glance at him. Eridan waved off the concern, it was just a laugh.

The concern lifted slowly as the car pulled into the driveway of a small house. It was similar to the other houses on the street, squat and neat. At least on the outside, Eridan knew better than to expect a tidy house from Cronus. It surprised him that he had a house at all, instead of just an apartment, but according to his brother their father had helped him get it to get him out of the house that much faster. Sounded like something he’d do at least.

Eridan got out of the car, looking at the house. It looked welcoming, the outside a light seafoam blue rather than the cream of the neighborhood. The sound of the trunk popping open made him turn to see Cronus looking expectantly at him.

“Come on. I ain’t carryin all your shit inside, princess. You’re gonna help.”

Sticking out his tongue at him, he grabbed a suitcase from the trunk. Cronus returned the sentiment, grabbing a hastily taped box with “Books” written on the side. “Geez what the fuck, Dan? Did you bring Pa’s whole library?”

He rolled his eyes, pulling out his laptop bag and slinging it over his shoulder while Cronus lugged the box to the door and unlocked it. “Your rooms in the back. Haven’t gotten a bedframe yet, but there’s a mattress.”

Eridan nodded, looking around. The walls were all painted in light colors, just enough to keep it away from white. The front door opened into the living room, which was littered with papers and sheet music, along with a guitar laid out on the couch. “Sorry for the mess. This was all kinda short notice,” he heard, nodding slightly. It could be worse. He was just grateful his brother wasn’t fond of plain white as well.

A nudge from behind sent him walking toward a door down the hall. He tensed, unsure what to expect, as he opened the door. He froze, eyes widening a bit. The walls were lavender, the color he’d once convinced Cro to help him paint his bedroom. Though it had only lasted a week before their dad found out and put a stop to it, it was still his favorite color.

He felt something warm in his chest, something welcoming. After barely five minutes, this place felt more like home than the manor where he’d spent almost eighteen years of his life. The warmth built behind his eyes as well, spilling out down his cheeks. He wiped them quickly as his brother came into the room, grinning at him as he set his bags on the mattress that was pressed against the wall.

A loud thud echoed off the walls, a result of the books being dropped rather abruptly. It made Eridan jump and glare at his brother, kneeling beside the box and looking at it.

“Come on, Dan. They’re books it ain’t like they’re breakable.”

This only serves to make Eridan glare at him again, giving him a sign you didn’t have to take a class to understand. Cronus rolled his eyes and messed up his little brother’s hair, earning flailing smacks to the hand and arm.

“We’ve still got more shit to unpack, you can cry over your books later.”

Reluctantly, Eridan followed him back outside. His shoulders tensed as a pair of eyes caught his from across the street. Green met red, bright even from this distance. Though the eyes were not the only red thing about the stranger. They wore the same color on a hoodie, though it didn’t seem cool enough weather to call for one. He offered a wave, which was returned before they began to cross the street.

He couldn’t take his eyes off them, the red keeping his attention more than he’d like to admit. A heavy hand clamped down on his shoulder, making him jump. His stomach lurched to the back of his throat, his eyes wide with the memory still staining his vision as he looked wildly at Cronus. The hand lifted for a moment before settling in a softer manner on his hair. By the time Eridan’s heartrate had returned to normal, the red figure reached them. Upon closer inspection, their eyes seemed more pinkish than red but the color still made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

They offered a warm smile at him before turning their attention to Cronus. The look he was given was decidedly less warm, but Eridan had a feeling there was affection behind the annoyance.

“I take it this is Eridan? I told you I could help you move him in Cronus. Honestly, after all the fuss you’ve made this week I thought you’d at least introduce me when he got here.”

The annoyed affection was also present in his brother’s eyes. Maybe there was something more there?

“Kanny we barely got here ten minutes ago, I woulda come over once we got settled in. ‘Sides, you helped enough this week. We’ve got it.”

‘Kanny’ put his hands on his hips, lips pressed thin as he looked at the Ampora. “Well I’m here now. It’d be incredibly rude of you to ignore my offer after I came here. Not to mention inconsiderate of your brother, who may very well want the help. And, for the last time, Cronus.” He brought one hand and poked the center of the taller male’s chest with a very pale index finger. “I have a name. Use it. You know it irritates me when you call me that.”

There was a silence as Cronus raised an eyebrow at the other. When it became obvious that he wouldn’t be backing down any time soon, he sighed. “Fine, fine, _Kankri_. Honestly, with how much you’ve been hanging around lately, I’m startin to think you’ve got some ulterior motive.” The statement was followed with a smirk and a wink.

Kankri yanked his hand back as though it had been burned, the lack of pigment making the blush that colored his face all the brighter. “I- You- “he stumbled over words for a moment. “I’m being a _good friend,_ ” he protested, quickly regaining his composure quickly and turning to Eridan. “Now, since your brother has still failed to properly acquaint us,” he stuck out his hand, “My name is Kankri Vantas. My brother and I live across the street and I attend college with Cronus.”

Eridan swallowed hard, looking from the hand to Kankri’s face. How much had Cronus told him? Not that him knowing would make things any less awkward. He forced his hand into the others, noting how warm it was. And no wonder, given that he was wearing a hoodie, which Eridan couldn’t help but be curious about. As soon as the handshake reached a socially acceptable length he pulled back, pausing before he signed. He might as well see if it was an option before hunting down a notebook.

‘ _Eridan, though it looks like you already knew that. I think Cronus has mentioned you before._ ’

To his surprise, and delight, Kankri signed right back.

‘ _Yes. He’s mentioned you before, though this past week was more informational than previous conversations. He wasn’t clear with why the move was happening, but he did inform me of your condition. Mostly due to the fact that, aside from myself, the two of our friend circle who are most fluent in the technique aren’t the fondest of your brother. I assisted him in gaining their help, and as I’m sure you’ve seen he’s made some good progress._ ’

“Hey hey hey,” Cronus muttered. “Just cause you know it doesn’t mean ya gotta show off and leave me outta the loop, Kanny.”

Kankri shot him a fiery look, but otherwise ignored him aside from a simple, “It’s Kankri.” He turned to Eridan again. ‘ _Do you need any help moving things inside? It’s really no problem, I promise._ ’

Eridan nodded a bit, offering a smile that was quickly returned.

“Alright its settled. I’m helping.”

Cronus let out an annoyed huff, but only answered by walking to the trunk and hefting a box out.

The work moved quickly, the boxes left on the floor in his new room. There weren’t many, but anything left back in the city would be gotten at some later date. If their father didn’t throw it out first, no matter how many times Cronus insisted he wouldn’t.

With a quick stretch that popped his back, he glanced at the couch, where Kankri and Cronus had been talking since they’d gotten everything out of the car. The hoodie was laid out over the back of the couch, though underneath it had been another long sleeve. His questioning look from earlier had been answered with something about sensitive skin.

Eridan wasn’t sure how he felt about Kankri yet. He was nice, if long winded, and despite the way the red turned his stomach he knew that wasn’t his fault. Stepping out of his room, he tapped the albino male’s shoulder.

‘ _Do you want some water or something?_ ’ he asked, grateful for the help he’d given earlier.

“Yes, thank you. That’s quite considerate of you.”

In a moment, he’d stepped across the living room, stepping into the kitchen, and abruptly freezing as a sudden curse was almost unnoticed by him. The white of the tile and the counters was gleaming, cutting sharply into him as bile crawled up his stomach. His chest tightened, his eyes fixed on the sterile color as his breaths became short and shallow. Footsteps behind him barely registered as hands pulled him from the horrid color. Eridan squeezed his eyes shut, red flashing on the white in his mind. He was pulled into a hug, a calming hand on his back as the panic slowly began to fade. It took a good few minutes for his breathing to return to normal and he pulled back.

Cronus looked down at him guiltily, grimacing. “Sorry. I didn’t get a chance to…fix that. It won’t be much longer hopefully. …You okay?”

Eridan nodded, forcing himself to smile at his brother. ‘ _I’m fine. Just surprised._ ’

“If you’re sure, chief. I’ll get some drinks.” He nudged him toward the couch, where he sat without too much prompting. Kankri looked a little nervous and concerned, watching him carefully.

“…Eridan? Are you alright?”

He sighed and nodded, offering no explanation. Luckily, he took the hint and didn’t press the issue. Once Eridan had his cup of water in hand, he vanished into his room and began unpacking. The work took his mind off everything else, and putting things away kept him busy until Cronus called him to the living room for pizza. He kept his eyes away from the kitchen, feeling a little guilty that the elder was putting so much effort into making him comfortable. He appreciated it for sure, he only wished he could handle the things Cronus was fixing.

Conveying none of this to his brother, he curled on the couch with a box of pizza and a movie playing on the television. Kankri had left at some point and Eridan was almost tempted to ask what exactly was going on between the two, but for the time being he’d keep his nose out of it.

The movie was done well after dinner was demolished and Eridan once again disappeared into his room, this time to sleep. Even though the mattress was on the floor, it was still comfortable with his thick violet comforter wrapped around himself. Occasionally he’d hear the door open, light filtering in for a few moments before disappearing again. Cronus checking on him? Maybe that little episode earlier had freaked him out more than he let on.

Despite the thoughts running rampant and the newness of the room around him, Eridan fell asleep quickly into dreams of plain white rooms and red seeping in. More than once he woke in a cold sweat, for once thankful he had no voice so his screams wouldn’t wake Cronus.

By the time he heard the insistent beeps of the alarm, he had already been up for over an hour, staring at the ceiling and dreading the day laid out before him. He’d always taken classes online, but that was no longer the case.

In an effort to put off having to trudge to the school, he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the blanket over his head until he heard his brother holler for him to ‘get his ass moving’. Neither of them were much of morning people.

Sitting up with a groan, he threw his blanket off and began digging through the clothes boxes, focusing on them instead of his growing nerves.

He could only hope high school was better than movies made it out to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this turned out a lot longer than I anticipated. Thank you to all the people who bookmarked, commented, or gave a kudos it's much appreciated. I've split this chapter into two parts mostly for my own sanity and I don't want to post an extremely long chapter and then be unable to reach that word count again. As always, comments are more than welcome and thank you for reading.

The first thing Eridan noticed when he stepped out of his room was the smell of something burning. He scrunched up his nose, following the scent and the hissed cursing to the kitchen, where his brother was shoving frozen waffles into a toaster. The counters were covered in plates and food, the air hazy with smoke that was slowly filtering out through the window so the color only managed to sit unpleasantly in his stomach rather than drag the organ into his throat and jolt him with panic. Of course, having seen it the day before helped too.

He didn’t want to stay here long though, certain that the calm he managed at the moment couldn’t last for too long. Focusing his gaze on the source of the smoke, he found a pan resting in the sink. Whatever his brother had been trying to cook, he guessed it was eggs, was black and burnt to the bottom of the pan. He felt a small pang when he realized his brother, who he knew for a fact had takeout 99% of the time, had tried to make breakfast and most likely for his sake.

Steeling himself against the smoke that tickled his throat and tightened his lungs, he stepped into the kitchen. Whether it was the mess or the smoke that left the counters less than pristine, he was grateful for it. That crack in the perfection was the only reason he could stand being in here at the moment. He cringed as his bare foot made contact with the cold floor, but padded to the sink and filled the pan with warm water to soak and hopefully soften the ruined eggs.

“Sorry ‘bout the eggs,” Cronus mumbled, a sour look on his face. “D’ya want some coffee?”

Eridan glanced toward his brother, who was holding up a full pot of the steaming liquid. He grinned, glad the other seemed to remember his borderline obsession with the drink. Either that or Cro had finally started drinking it. He’d guess the former though, Cronus had always preferred tea with about half a bag of sugar in it.

The excited grin made Cronus chuckle, the irritation on his face fading a bit. Soon Eridan was mixing half a spoon of sugar into his full mug and taking a long swig. It scalded his tongue and burned the rest of the way down as well, but he smiled happily despite this. He could already feel the buzz of the caffeine in his veins, gulping down the rest of the cup and pouring another while his brother rolled his eyes.

With a fresh mug in hand, he disappeared back into his room and set the glass down on a nightstand to properly dig through what he’d managed to hang up in the closet. It was his first day of school after all. By this point, most his age probably would’ve long grown out of the excited terror implied by the day but Eridan given that this would also be the first time he’d stepped into a public school to his knowledge he thought the nerves curling in his stomach were well deserved. But that was a problem for later, now he only needed to worry about what he was going to wear.

By the time Cronus opened the door to let him know breakfast was ready, it seemed that his closet had ejected every article he’d stuffed in it. The elder scoffed slightly, but otherwise didn’t comment. It wasn’t like he’d have any room to talk, as he spent as much time on his style as his brother did. Even if his style revolved mostly around leather jackets and talking like John Travolta’s less talented brother.

Finally he settled on a pair of skinny jeans and loose shirt with a sweater slipped over it. Pulling on his shoes, he hurried to the kitchen to find a plate with two waffles on it, doused in syrup. Judging by the syrup and empty plate on the counter, he was willing to bet that this was his brothers plate but hell he was hungry. He scooped it up and grabbed a fork, practically inhaling the food just as Cronus came back down the hall.

Eridan barely managed to get to the bathroom door when he heard his brothers rather loud, irritated cursing. Oh well, he could make more.

Getting ready was relatively quick today, only about twenty minutes passing before Eridan emerged. He was restless at this point, checking the time periodically as he got his bags together until he was pacing the living room with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. His eyes fell to the floor as he wandered from wall to wall. That is, until a hand on his shoulder made him leap about a foot in the air and let out a small squeak. Spinning around, he met his brothers amused expression with a glare.

“So are you gonna wear a hole in my floor, or are you ready to go? It’s a bit early, but…” He glanced pointedly at the others fidgeting.

Eridan quickly nodded and was out the door before Cronus could say anything else, his hand impatiently pulling the handle of the car door he knew was still locked while his brother made his way outside. As soon as he heard the click of the lock releasing he yanked the door open and swung himself onto the seat. Clicking his seat belt into place, he closed the door and clutched his bag to his chest. Excitement and apprehension fluttered through his stomach and chest at top speed, making him feel elated and sick at the same time. It was an odd feeling to say the least.

Cronus took a much longer time to get in, getting the car started as Eridan glanced out the window across the street. Kankri stood at the door, arms crossed as he spoke to what looked to be a smaller version of himself. Although the other seemed to have a permanent scowl etched into his face. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest, his eyes rolling so hard Eridan briefly pictured them rolling right out of his head as if he was some sort of cartoon character.

“That’s Kanny’s brother, chief. Karkat, I think. He’s your age. Who knows, maybe you’ll have a couple classes together? Brat can certainly talk long and loud enough for two.” The last bit was muttered and Eridan wasn’t entirely sure he was supposed hear it, but it made him flinch a little all the same. He knew his brother was only teasing and chose to look back out the window as though he hadn’t heard the comment at all. If Cronus had noticed the flinch, he didn’t comment.

He pulled out of the driveway and Eridan closed his eyes. He’d seen enough of the neighborhood yesterday to deter any curiosity he might have had. So instead he listened to the rumble of the old Mustang’s engine, the scent of the leather seats comforting as his fingers tapped against the smooth material. He grimaced when Cronus turned the radio on, but he knew his brother probably felt awkward in the silence. There was only so many times he could fill it with the sound of his own voice before that got old.

It wasn’t that the music was bad, just a classic rock station with the volume just loud enough to drown the silence settled so heavily in the car. Eridan could hear Cronus singing along under his breath, realizing he had yet to ask him how the music was working out for him. Perhaps tonight.

Lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t realize they were at the school until the music abruptly shut off. Glancing from the window to his brother, he offered a small wave before opening the door. Before he could get out, he felt his brothers hand on his arm.

“Hey uh…do you…need me to walk ya in? Help ya get your schedule and shit?”

He wasn’t sure when the last time he’d seen Cronus so awkward was. It was obvious he was still getting used to the whole guardian thing, but wasn’t sure how much help to give the other. Understandable, given the elder had been gone aside from holidays for the past five years. They had been close before that, but more in the sense that Eridan was the little brother who Cronus was always worried about getting bullied. Not that there was much chance of that in the online classes where he didn’t need to worry about speaking at all. Still, the absence had taken its toll on their relationship, leaving Cronus trying awkwardly to patch things up while Eridan was just happy to be out of his father’s house.

‘ _No, I’ll be fine. But thanks. I’ll see you after school?_ ’

“’A course, Eri. Text me if they give you problems.”

Eridan only nodded to that, waving again and turning to look at the school. He faintly heard his brother driving away but couldn’t pull his eyes from the brick monstrosity in front of him. It was bigger than he’d expected, with windows lining all three stories and a clock tower standing tall at the front. Nerves slowly replaced his excitement and he suddenly wished he’d asked Cronus to stay.

Hands gripped his bag tight enough to hurt, chest tightening as the butterflies turned to wasps and filled him he choked on the stinging pain. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced a sharp breath between his teeth. This was nowhere near the first time he’d dealt with this on his own and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Ignoring the students who passed him, a few glancing at him and others openly staring with confused expressions, he focused only on his breathing until the adrenaline began to fade from his veins. He kept his head down as he moved inside, still ignoring the other students.

The main office was small and cozy, helping his unravel the knots panic had tied into his stomach. An air freshener plugged into the wall added something citrusy to the air, the bowl of candy on the secretary’s desk welcoming and begging him to take one, so he did. Popping the hard candy into his mouth, he rolled it on his tongue with a grin. Mmm, butterscotch.

Sufficiently calmed, he turned to the older woman sitting at the desk. Though there were clearly wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, the age had yet to reach her hair, pitch black as it was, or her eyes. The jade lit up at the unfamiliar student, a motherly smile twitching her lips. “Good morning. I take it you’re the transfer student?”

Eridan nodded, handing her a paper he’d typed up with his information on it. She glanced over it, glancing up at the medical notes.

“Does the nurse have these?”

Another nod. Cronus had dropped the papers off the week before.

“Alright. This should be sent to your teachers, if it hasn’t already been. I’ll print out your schedule.”

He offered a smile, glancing at the desk. Mrs. Maryam. He hoped his teachers were kind as well.

In a few moments, she placed a paper in his hand, layering a map on top of it. “If you have any problems feel free to let me know. Or my daughter. If I’m correct, you share a class with her.”

He nodded, fishing his sketchbook out of his bag and writing a quick thanks on a blank sheet. A smile lit her face when he turned it toward her.

“You’re very welcome, Mr. Ampora. Have a nice day.”

Leaving the office with a wave, he turned his eyes toward his schedule. Government was first, which interested him but he grimaced as he realized it was on the third floor. Perfect.

He sighed, weaving between the students that were steadily filing in to find the nearest staircase. Sticking close to the wall, he kept his sketchbook against his chest. Luckily, the stairs weren’t crowded yet, so he could keep his eyes somewhat toward the floor without worrying about crashing into someone like some cliché romance flick.

Of course, the door to the third floor was blocked, a couple leaning against the door jam and talking. He grimaced, not wanting to shove between them and start something, but as they continued to not notice him he grew more irritated.

The girl finally looked at him, straightening. She was almost half a foot taller than him, curly hair falling just past her waist. Pink dusted her tanned skin as she grinned at him, bright red lips and white teeth standing out against her skin. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t see you there,” she said quickly, grabbing the boy’s arm and pulling him to the side.

He followed her with a grimace, glancing over Eridan and letting out a small huff he assumed was a laugh. He was pretty much the opposite of the girl, though he was  just as tall. Rather than a deep tan, he was pale. Almost as pale as Eridan actually, with tousled dirty blonde hair and pair of strangely colored glasses covering his eyes. He shot a grateful look at the girl before glaring at the boy and hurrying through the doorway.

His class wasn’t far, the professor standing at his desk with a stack of papers in hand. Taking a deep breath he stepped inside and up to the desk. It took the adult a moment to notice him, jumping slightly at the silent teenager. “You must be the new student,” he glanced at one of the mess of papers on his desk. “Eridan Ampora?”

Eridan hoped the nurse had told his teachers, not wanting to have to explain himself, and nodded.

The teacher grinned and shook his hand before adjusting his glasses. “Good to have you. I’m Mr. English, but I’m sure you saw that on your schedule. Now, let’s get you set up, alright? Books are in the back of the room, you can take one home but you hafta check it out with me so no one goes stealin them or anything.” He spoke quickly, gesturing with his hands as he turned and wrote some things on the board. “We have a quiz today, but you don’t need to worry about that, chap.”

At least he seemed alright, energetic at the very least as he turned to the class. “Alright everyone. Mornin to you all.”

A chorus of “Good Mornings” followed, most of the students now slipping into their seats as the late bell echoed in the background.

“So it seems we’ve got ourselves a new student. This is Eridan Ampora, he’s gonna be joinin our little class for the year so I expect you all will make him feel welcome. Alright, Mr. Ampora I think you’ll find an empty chair.-“ he glanced over the room, brightening as his eyes focused on a seat “-Ah! Right next to Mr. Vantas. Vantas? Raise your hand please.”

Eridan glanced to the raised arm, briefly wondering why that name sounded familiar before he caught sight of the colorless skin and bright eyes. He chewed his lip, keeping his eyes off the students he knew were staring at him as he grabbed a book from the back shelf and slipped into the seat beside Karkat. The other was doodling on his notebook, that scowl from this morning still etched into his face.

When the other looked up, his glare didn’t let up at all but Eridan got the feeling he shouldn’t take it personally. “So you’re the asshole my brother was helping yesterday?” he asked, his voice hoarse, like he’d worn it out.

Eridan nodded, opening his sketchbook to a blank page and writing out quickly.

            _Yeah. You’re Karkat, right?_

Karkat glanced at the page in confusion, turning to Eridan with a raised eyebrow. He seemed about to say something before a realization dawned on his face. “Oh right. Yeah, do you want a fucking medal for remembering it?”

Relief made him relax, glad Karkat hadn’t asked any questions and seemed to accept it without much trouble.

“So where’d you move from anyway?” he asked, placing his chin in his palm.

Eridan paused, looking at his paper.

            _New York. I just moved in with my older brother._

“Why the fuck would you do that? This town is tiny and boring. And I’ve met your brother. I don’t know how you could live with that douchey flirt of an asshat.” His voice lowered as the teacher began speaking, a quick review for the quiz. “I mean I thought Kankri was irritating but-“ he grimaced and let his sentence trail off as Eridan wrote.

            _It’s easier to live out here. The city is nice and all but it gets a little old after a while. At least here you can actually drive a car without being stuck in traffic or walk without imitatin a can of sardines._

_Trust me I know. He’s an asshole, but he’s family and hell he offered to put up with me. And I think the only reason he’d be around to irritate you is cause he’s got a thing for your brother._

Karkat snorted, smirking at Eridan as the narrowed eyes and scowl melted. “No fucking shit, Sherlock. Of course your brother has a thing for Kankri and as disgusting as it is, my dickwagon of a brother seems to actually share the sentiment.”

            _Wait. So are they actually together?_

“Pfft. Hell no. Your brother flirts with anything on two legs, or at least he did in college from what Kankri told me. And plus Kankri is so fucking oblivious he wouldn’t know someone liked him unless they flat out told him.” He rolled his eyes.

            _Then how do you know he likes Cronus?_

The look Karkat gave Eridan reminded him of some haughty prince from a fantasy movie, with a confident expression with a smirk. “I am _the_ resident romance expert. I can read this shit like a book. In fact, I do. And if people would just listen to the advice they fucking ask for, they could avoid a lot of shit. Take our brothers for example. I’ve tried to tell the assholes to just go for it but both of them have their heads very firmly lodged in their rectums in refusal and cowardice and all rescue attempts thus far have ended in failure. If they don’t get their shit together before the end of the year I might literally lose my mind from putting up with it.”

Eridan couldn’t help a breathy laugh, more air than sound, at the rant though he could see how that was frustrating. The laugh made Karkat pause his irritated tirade and pause for a long moment.

“So what’s up with the whole silent thing? Some tragic fucking accident or vow of silence or some other shit?”

The Ampora could only shrug, which earned a shove to the shoulder.

“Listen assnugget don’t try to play dumb if you don’t want to tell me you don’t have to it was just a fucking question. If it’s a sensitive subject I can, contrary to popular belief, shut my mouth and back the fuck off.”

Grimacing, Eridan shook his head, rubbing his temples. He wished the other knew sign language, it’d be so much easier to explain that way. At least quicker, but still Eridan found himself wanting to explain. It’d been a while since he’d had somebody to talk to and it looked like they were edging on friend territory so a simple explanation was good right?

            _I’m serious. All I know is that apparently when I was like five I stopped talking. I think something happened, but my dad would never tell me. So…it’s not physical. I don’t think so at least._

“What an asshole. It’s your life if you want to know you should get to know. So what your mom wouldn’t tell you either?”

            _She’s dead._

With those eight letters scratched into the paper, a silence fell over the previously talkative boy. Eridan braced himself for the pity that always followed. The apologies that meant nothing. Why apologize for something they knew nothing about until he told them. What was the point?

But rather than feed him assurances and sorry’s like an infant, Karkat leaned back in his chair and simply said. “That sucks.”

It took Eridan a moment to respond, surprise and relief flooding him as the sympathy he dreaded didn’t come. Apparently Karkat took the lack of answer the wrong way, because he was quickly sitting up. “Not like it’s not a big deal or anything. Fuck, I didn’t mean like that. Because trust me I know it’s a big fucking deal. Like a planet of a god damn deal. Jupiter sized deal. I just-“

Eridan slid him a paper quickly, which effectively shut him up.

            _It’s fine. Just surprised me is all. Everyone always apologizes like they had something to do with it. I’m actually glad to be able to just say it sucks instead of dragging up the past. If anyone should be doing that, it’d be my brother. Hell, I don’t even remember her._

Karkat was nodding a little as he reached the end of the writing. “Yeah. It was the same when my parents died. A fuckton of sympathy and pity to make themselves feel better. Like they’d fuckin helped us by spouting the same shit as everyone else. I figured you might be a little tired of that too.”

Eridan would have responded, but they both jumped as Mr. English suddenly appeared in front of them, setting a paper in front of Karkat and a packet in front of Eridan.

He eyed the lines scribbled on the sketchbook, raising an eyebrow. “Now chaps. Although I appreciate the comradery between students, I can’t say the same for the preposterous goofing off of a class not on topic. Good luck on the quiz, Mr. Vantas. And for Mr. Ampora, these are the important worksheets we’ve done so far. I’d like to see them turned in by the end of the week if you can get together the gumption to knock it out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you can’t quite get the knack of it.”

The quiet curses under Karkat’s breath barely caught Eridan’s attention as he looked over the worksheets. Many of them were simple stuff, and Eridan considered himself to be a bit of a history nerd. Using the book more as a means of double checking his answers, he managed to get half of the worksheets done by the time the bell dragged him abruptly from his work. He waited until most of the other students had left before handing the teacher the completed pages, which were met with pleasant surprise.

“Well I have to say I’m impressed. It’s been a while since I’ve had a student who understands history as more than gobbledygook, which I’m assuming you are considering the fact you got these done lickity split. Anyhoo, I’m sure you’ve got other classes to get to.”

Eridan grinned, finding his cheeks pinkening at the praise. That was something he could get used to, that and the fact that Karkat was leaning against the wall outside of class. The shorter boy groaned rather obnoxiously as he pushed off the wall and walked toward Eridan.

“Fina-fucking-lly. What the fuck were you doing that took so long?”

Rolling his eyes, Eridan started to fish a pencil from his backpack when the other flailed his hands at him.

“Never fucking mind I do not care that much about you sucking up to a teacher. Not that Mr. English really need sucking up to. He’s generally irritatingly cheerful like that, so you’ll be fine as long as you’re not an asshole.”

The two chatted as Karkat helped Eridan find his next class, Art, assuring him that he’d gotten lucky in teacher assignments.

“Ms. Callie is so nice it’s nauseating sometimes. Just be glad you don’t have to take gym. Her brothers the coach and I swear it’s like one of those dumb evil twin movies brought to life. Just be glad you don’t have Mr. Makara. A word of advice. If you see him, steer clear. I’m friends with his son but that asshole still scares the shit out of me.”

Eridan took in the information gratefully, listening carefully up until they had to split to get to class. Luckily it seemed they’d have the same lunch, so at least he knew he’d have someone to sit with.

Trotting downstairs, he hurried to the specified room only to almost run directly into the tallest person he’d ever met. The man was well over six feet, with thick hair pulled back into a bushy ponytail. He’d painted his face with smudged white makeup, his lips twisting into a grimace when his eyes landed on the student. He  glanced back  into the classroom, his voice sounding like he was gargling rocks. “Callie. I think your new student is here.”

A woman appeared at the door in stark contrast to the man Eridan could only assume was Mr. Makara. She was petite, especially dwarfed compared to him, with dark skin and bright green eyes that practically sparkled as she saw her new student. A green headscarf was draped around her head, a bit of pale hair poking out of the edges. “So he is. Thank you, Gavin. Now I’m sure your class will be needing you, won’t they?” She spoke sweetly, her voice lilted by a soft accent.

With a roll of his eyes he left, the woman sighing softly once he did so before turning to Eridan. “You must be Mr. Ampora. Come in, come in.” She ushered him into the classroom. The walls were littered with paintings and sketches from the students, most of them already hard at work on their current projects. “You probably already know this, but I’m Ms. Makara, but I insist that my students call me Ms. Callie. It helps clear up some confusion, you see.”

Eridan’s confusion must have shown as he glanced toward the door. Was she related to the other teacher? She patted his shoulder. “Just a small relation. Nothing to spill the tea over. Now, I believe it is high time we get started. Have you taken art classes before?”

He nodded quickly, earning a grin from the woman.

“Fantastic. So with that I take it you know the basics?”

Another nod.

Her smile widened. “Absolutely marvelous. So, every year my students do several themed project and two final projects. One for each semester. The current them is marine life.”

Eridan’s eyes lit up at the topic, a grin splitting his lips. He’d been fascinated by the ocean since he was young, reading and watching documentaries with his best friend and going to every aquarium they could manage.

“You can use whatever medium you prefer but it has to have some sort of color and be recognizable with the theme. If you have any questions let me know I’ll be happy to help.”

The teen was quick to hurry to an empty desk, grabbing a pencil and hunching over his sketchbook as he brainstormed what he could do. Art had always been important to him, though the ways in which it was changed over the years. When he’d been younger, before he learned sign language, he had used drawings to communicate what he couldn’t verbally. As he grew, that need developed into a love that had him sitting in cafes and parks for hours on end drawing everything he could see.

Chewing his eraser in thought, his eyes wandered to the girl sitting across from him. She had a canvas balanced on an easel, paint smeared on her arms and hands as she worked on the piece in front of her. After a moment she turned and met his gaze, grinning in an almost predatory manner. Freckles massed on her cheeks scrunched together as her nose did, her olive eyes regarding him with playful curiosity. “I haven’t seen _mew_ be _fur_. My names Nepeta.”

Eridan raised an eyebrow at the puns, but years with Feferi had all but desensitized him to the word play. He flipped to a new page and wrote a quick introduction before passing it over to him.

She read over it quickly, handing it back with a little nod. “You don’t need to be shy, I _purr_ omise I don’t bite. Unless…hmm. _Fur_ give me _fur_ being rude but why not just tell me your name instead of writing it down?”

He grimaced, pulling a paper from the front of his folder. It had originally been meant as a note in case any teacher didn’t get the memo, but he supposed it could be used for this too. As she read he could see understanding dawn on her face.

“Oh. In that case, do you always write, or do you use sign language? I know the latter _fur_ om my _hiss_ ters boy _fur_ end. Whichever you pre _fur_.”

He blinked in surprise and grinned, signing quickly. ‘ _Oh thank goodness. You don’t know how frustrating it is to have to write down everything. And it takes so long too._ ’

Nepeta giggled and nodded. “I know. _Pur_ loz gets _fur_ ustrated too. But he doesn’t talk to that many people anyway. In any case, Mr. Am _purr_ a, it’s _furry_ nice to meet _mew_.”

Eridan couldn’t help an eyeroll. ‘ _Are the puns really necessary. Oh excuse me, since we’re speakin in pun._ Reel _ly necessary._ ’

The other, working on her painting again as Eridan sketched between signing, laughed again. “My best _fur_ end always says that too. But he can be just as bad when he’s in a good mood. Nice pun, though.”

‘ _My best friend, or should I say_ frond _, constantly made fish puns since we were five. I know a few, I just never picked up the habit._ ’

The rest of the class passed like this, with the two chatting and making horrible puns. She offered to walk him to swimming pool for his next class, but he insisted he was fine and she skipped off with a tall, muscled student who allowed her to climb onto his shoulders and perch there as they went down the hall.

The pool sat towards the back of the school, indoors to make heating easier but nowhere near a convenient place for students to get to between classes. By the time he’d found it, gotten changed, and secured his stuff within a locker the other swimmers were already doing laps. The coach wasn’t what he’d expected, young with piercings in his nose and red streaks in his hair. He glanced over Eridan, obviously thinking about what he might be good at.

“Ever swam competitively?”

Eridan nodded. He’d been the captain of the local gym’s swim team for two years.

“What’s your best stroke?”

A paused as he considered how to answer. He chanced signing it. ‘ _Breast stroke._ ’

Coach Nitram grimaced and sighed. “Sorry. I ain’t very well versed in that.”

Cursing internally, Eridan gestured to his chest to try and indicate what he was meaning without miming it and looking even more idiotic than he already did. Luckily, something clicked for the coach and he understood, placing Eridan in an empty lane and timing all of his strokes.

He seemed impressed, telling Eridan that if he kept it up and made a few improvements to prove he was willing to work he had a place on the swim team.

At the end of class, as he was coming out of the locker room, a rough shoulder sent him stumbling into the wall. Looking at the culprit, he found a sneering girl with blue tipped blonde hair and thick glasses looking him over. “Oops. My bad. I didn’t hear anyone behind me.”

Red burned at Eridan’s cheeks and he turned, ignoring her as he walked quickly to his next class.

This one was a bit of irony for him, given that all students were required to take a Speech class. Although he wouldn’t have to actually speak and could give presentation however he wanted, he still found the whole thing incredibly funny. The teacher didn’t share his amusement, ignoring him for most the class.

The next bell had the students pouring out of class faster than usual to get at the food, Eridan stayed behind the crowd, not all that hungry as he stepped into the cafeteria with a long sigh as he looked for Karkat.

The day was half over. Four down, four to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief intermission between classes, in which lunch is had and friends (enemies?) are made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm sorry this is a bit shorter than the other chapters but there should be another, full length chapter coming out this week as well! I just really liked where this ended! Comments are, as always, loved and appreciated and thank you so much for the kudos and comments so far!

It wasn’t hard to find Karkat despite the crowd of students pressing against him from all sides. Just listen for the loudest voice and follow it to the irritated boy. Now, the creative curses were streaming in like a flash flood as he scolded a tall boy next to him.

Steeling himself against the uncomfortable pressure surrounding him, Eridan pressed into whatever gaps he could find to work through the crowd. Unable to ask people to move, or demand it as he probably would have, he was left to carve a slow but steady path through the constantly moving beast that was the student body.

By the time, he reached the familiar voice, he was more than a little tense with his head down and his fist clenched around the strap of his bag. He felt trapped to say the very least, but fought to keep the feeling from overpowering him. Sharp spines of anxiety shoved themselves into his chest and it was all he could do to keep his breathing normal as he finally made it to the table.

The extremely tall boy Karkat had been yelling at, something about eating more than just pie, glanced at Eridan before Karkat had noticed the Ampora. His hair was wild as if in a state of perpetual bedhead and his deep blue eyes, so dark they looked almost purple, were half lidded as they looked him over before the boy offered a disturbingly wide grin. “Well hey there, motherfucker,” he drawled, his voice surprisingly deep and gravelly.

Karkat paused his rant, his eyes following the others to Eridan. “Well fucking finally,” he huffed, arms tightly crossed. “I thought you might’ve gotten lost. This fucknut is Gamzee.” He jerked his thumb back towards the taller male, who had been staring intently at Eridan. The look made his skin crawl and he wasn’t entirely sure how comfortable he was around this new acquaintance.

Gamzee simply smiled at him again and waved lazily as Karkat glanced at him. “And this is Eridan, asshole.”

The taller tilted his head at the information and raised his eyebrows before drawing two fingers across his lips silently.

Eridan swallowed hard and nodded, adjusting his glasses as Gamzee brought his hands into the air in front of him.

‘ _Well alright then. I’ve got the language of a tight-lipped brother down._ ’

Eyes widening, Eridan almost dropped his sketchbook to sign back. ‘ _Really? Wow I didn’t expect this many people to know it. Almost no one back home did._ ’

Before Gamzee could reply, Karkat grabbed both of their wrists. “As much as seeing you two bond of shitty hand signals is fucking _heartwarming_ , it’s hurting my head to keep up with and I have no fucking clue what the hell is going on so cut it the fuck out.”

Apparently, the saddened look Eridan gave Karkat was enough to make him wince and he sighed, though whatever he was about to say was cut off as Gamzee wrapped a lanky arm around the other’s shoulders.

“Ain’t no need to get your grump on over it, brother,” he said, his voice lowering to talk to him. “A motherfucker could easily get his learn on to those little miracles of the fingers and get his speakin with them on just as quick. I could bring my bro over and we could- “

“Fuck no!” Karkat protested, halfheartedly shoving at the arm on his shoulders. “I’m not taking lessons from your creepy douchenozzle of a brother, or his girlfriend so don’t bring her up. I don’t plan on throwing my head on the chopping block this early in my life and I’m happy with my brain cells intact and not pouring out my ears in a stream of sanity. The light trickle akin to a leaky sink I get from being around one Makara is quite enough for me. Thanks.”

Eridan blinked as he tried to keep up with the rant, impressed by the fact that Karkat hadn’t stopped once to breathe. And it didn’t sound like he was running out of air anytime soon, given the hoarse shout was still as loud as the first word. Before he could make any sort of comment, a violent shiver ran up his spine and he instinctively looked over his shoulder to see a tall, dark, and muscled boy standing behind him. A hoodie hung unzipped on his shoulders, a towel draped around his neck like he’d just come from a workout. Which he might have, given the light sheen of sweat over his skin and the fact that his bicep was easily the size of Eridan’s head. His sunglasses looked cracked, though it was hard to tell for sure, but Eridan got the feeling his eyes were on him at least out of curiosities sake.

A moment passed before the boy looked to the others. “Vantas.” His voice was deep and smooth, but quiet. Eridan was half sure if he spoke any louder he’d be able to feel the boom of it like a bass drop in his chest. “Have you seen, Nepeta? She promised to meet me here, but I have yet to see her.”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “How the hell would I know where she is? She’s your best friend, not mine.”

The others lips pursed for a moment. “That sort of language is terribly unbecoming of a candidate for student council, as I am sure you know. And I did not ask if you knew where she currently was, I only wanted to know- “

A jolt of shock ran through the group, the new boy Eridan didn’t know the name of jumping and looking quite a bit sweatier, Karkat letting out a short stream of curses and Gamzee making a noise Eridan could have sworn was a honk. All of this took place at the same point that a small, shrill squeak rang out.

“AC strikes! The _purr_ ey does not stand a chance against the mighty Huntresses pounce.”

Before he could make sense of the groups reaction or the words, a heavy weight against his back sent him sprawling onto the ground with the girl from his art class perched on his back. There was only a moment of breathless shock before the weight lifted off the him. He coughed, still on the floor as he regained his breath and his mind caught up with the situation. Apparently, that was taking too long, as a pair of hands hooked under his arms and pulled him quite easily upright to set him on his feet. He whipped his head around, wide eyed, to see Gamzee’s painted face grinning back at him. On his other side, the still unnamed boy was holding Nepeta in the air.

She looked from him to Eridan and back before crowing, “Fuck. I missed.”

“Nepeta,” he scolded, allowing her to perch on his shoulder like some sort of deranged giant parrot. “We have discussed this. You are better than that sort of language.”

Her nose scrunched up, squishing her freckles as she rolled her eyes. “Equi _hiss_ I’m not a kitten anymore. I’ll curse if I want.”

“You will not.”

She kept eye contact with him, or Eridan assumed she did given the glasses were still very much in place. “Yes, I will.”

“No. I order you to stop.”

“Make me, sweatquius,” a playful smirk twitched on her lips.

“You will refrain from calling me that.”

“Nope!”

“Yes.”

“No.”

As the two continued their half playful bickering, Karkat caught Eridan’s arm. “Ignore them. Once those to dickwagons get started it’s like trying to catch a waterfall in a bottle. Not gonna happen and you’ll look like a toddler trying. Speaking of toddlers…” He let go of his arm and marched toward someone pushing out from the crowd.

Eridan’s eyes narrowed as he recognized the boy from the stairs that morning, his lips pursing tightly. At least the girl popped out of the crowd behind him, her fingers intertwined with his. Her bright smile reminded him a bit of Fef, a sharp ache pricking at his heart at the thought. He’d have to remember to call her tonight or at least text if she wasn’t up for a video chat.

“Where the fuck were you second period, you son of a raging bulls left testicle? I thought of all your classes, that’s the one you’d show up to but no. Let’s leave Karkat on his own to finish the project and hand it in! You’re lucky she didn’t make us present today or I would have shoved my foot so far up your ass you could tie my shoelaces with your stupid split tongue!”

Eridan watched as the kid let his head roll back on his shoulders, staring up at the ceiling through those ridiculous colored lenses as Karkat worked himself into a frothing rage.

“Look, KK. I’m thorry I mithed the thtupid clath okay?” he finally said, once Karkat seemed about done. His voice was a little higher his aggressive friend, reedy and broken by lisps but it only really made him sound more like a nerd. “AA heard about thith abandoned building during firtht period and of courthe who did the drag along?”

The girl beside him, AA presumably, smacked his arm and crossed hers over her chest. “Like you weren’t dying to get out of class anyway. Plus, we found some really cool graffiti. And some bones!” She seemed especially excited about the last part, almost creepily so.

As he grimaced at her eerily wide smile, he found the red and blue lenses pointed his way with a curled lip and a raised eyebrow. He seemed to glance between Eridan and Karkat for a momet before settling on the latter. “Tho who ith that anyway, KK. And what the fuck ith with the quiet shtick?”

“Oh fuck. Sollux hold on-“

  
“ I mean theriouthly he wath doing that thith morning too. Jutht thtanding there like thome creep from a horror movie. All he had to do wath athk uth to move out of the way but no- “

A cold rage settled in Eridan’s chest, his hands coming to his chest as he stormed to stand in front of the other teenager.

‘ _I would have if I could fuckin talk!_ ’ he signed, eyes narrowing at the confused look before Karkat stepped in.

“Did it ever occur to you that he _couldn’t_?”

“Okay I get being shy and shit but- “

_I CAN’T TALK, DICKBAG. MAYBE IF YOU COULD SHUT_ YOUR  _TRAP FOR MORE THAN TWO SECONDS YOU COULD HAVE LET SOMEONE FUCKING TELL YOU!_

There was a heavy pause, rage twitching his eye as he saw Sollux’s eyebrows raise over his glasses. They lowered after a moment, but instead of an apology he just heard a muttered, “Thtill didn’t have to thit there and thtare like a creep.”

His mouth fell open in what would have been a scream of rage, but only came out as a wheeze as he threw the violet inked pen in his hand directly at the others face and turned on his heel to storm out of the cafeteria. Once the crowded room was behind him, he ducked into the nearest bathroom and locked himself in a stall to sit and sketch until he was calm.

After a minute, he heard the door open and shut and a soft knock sounded on the stall door. Idiot, couldn’t they see that this was the only occupied stall-

“Hey asshat I know you’re in there. Look, Sollux is just an asshole okay? Actually, he’s not normally that much of a dickmunch but…” he trailed of for a moment, his scratchy voice quieter than normal yet still echoing off the sharpie covered tile. He sounded almost uncertain. “Are you coming out of there anytime soon?”

Eridan knew he should be the bigger person, at least this once, but damnit why couldn’t he have one good day? It was a new school, the first school he’d ever even been to and no he hadn’t expected it to be perfect and kittens and rainbows…but hell was one day of a least content too much to ask before assholes butted their way into his new life? He didn’t even bother writing an answer, wrapping his arms around his knees with the rings of his sketchbook pressed uncomfortably into his ribcage.

It wasn’t long before footsteps sounded Karkat’s retreat and the door slammed to finalize it. Slipping off his glasses and putting his face in his knees, he briefly considered texting Cronus to come pick him up. He could just chalk it up to stress, or school being overwhelming. Surely that would be enough to satisfy his brother and the office?

Then again, hadn’t his brother done enough letting him move in? The man had taken the time to set up his room and paint it and hell he was even revamping the kitchen so Eridan could use it without an attack. It was more than he’d expected of the greaser wannabe, more than he could have hoped for. No, he wouldn’t bother him with something like this.

The door opening didn’t faze him, but a scraping noise made his head jerk up to look. He saw a hand shoving a tray under the door. The tray held a sandwich, a juice box, and a bag of baked chips, like those were supposed to be healthier or something, all wrapped up and ready to eat. Eridan felt an almost violent growl move through his stomach, staring at the food.

He reached out and unlocked the door, letting it fall open to see Karkat sitting cross legged against the wall with his own lunch in his lap. He gave him a confused look, which was met with a shrug.

“I could very fucking well be wrong but it didn’t look like you had a lunch with you and like hell I was going to let you starve in a bathroom just because Sir Lisps-a-Lot couldn’t stop being an asshole for one fucking day.”

Eridan picked up the tray and balanced it on his knees, unwrapping the sandwich. Underneath the plastic wrap were slightly smashed layers of dry whole wheat bread, sliced meat he thought might have been ham and lettuce that had definitely seen better days. The chips were bland and the juice was mostly frozen with the aftertaste of glass cleaner, but at the moment it was the best thing he could have, sitting across from Karkat eating silently.

When the bell rang, it made both of them jump. Karkat grabbed both trays to run back to the cafeteria, glancing at Eridan once before he did so almost as if making sure he could.

‘ _Thank you._ ’

There was a pause and a grin.

“Now that one I know.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to come out so much sooner than this, but here it is! I am not entirely confident in my Jade or my Feferi, but I still really like the way this chapter came out! Comments are appreciated and thanks to everyone who has left a comment or kudos so far! Slight tw for anxiety in this chapter.

The late bell caught Eridan as he found his way to class, having helped Karkat take the trays to the cafeteria before trying to decipher the maze of hallways on the map. His pace quickened at the shrill sound as he dashed to the end of the hallway and through the correct door.

The man standing at the front of the classroom turned, raising an eyebrow with a marker in hand. Eridan froze as a mismatched pair of eyes met his through a thick pair of glasses that rested on the teachers thin nose. One was a bright electric blue, the other a reddish brown and the contrast was enough to leave Eridan frozen for a moment.

“Do you need something?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and looking him over.

Eridan worried the inside of his lip as he scrambled to pull out his paper, feeling the eyes of the other students on him. He didn’t dare look over at them, especially when the paper almost slipped from his hand and a snicker rippled through the class as blood rushed under the skin of his cheeks. He could only hope that his face wasn’t as red as it felt as he offered the paper to the teacher.

Something sat heavy in his stomach and at the back of his throat as the unusual eyes flitted over the words, the murmuring of the students only adding to the weight as his teeth dug into the inside of his mouth more. A burst of salt across his tongue jolted him from the nausea that had twisted his stomach into more knots than a boy scout could tie in a lifetime and he unhooked his incisor from his flesh to run his tongue over the now tender spot.

His eyes met the teachers again, the elder looking over him again before handing back the paper and simply turning to the board to continue with the lesson.

There was a part of Eridan that was glad he hadn’t been questioned or introduced as the attention was back to the board quickly. Still, the coldness of the professor had him hunching his shoulders as he hurried toward the back of the class to take an empty seat. He kept his eyes on a strict path between the board and his paper, refusing to acknowledge the few curious students who glanced in his direction.

The atmosphere from his earlier classes had died down to, settling as a heavy fog would around him. The professors somewhat monotone voice provided little distraction from the weight, the slight lisp coloring his words only reminding him of the asshole from lunch. What had that guy’s problem been anyway? Karat had said he normally wasn’t that much of an asshole but how had he made such a bad impression on the boy already? It wasn’t like he’d been rude, at least he didn’t think he had, and it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t talk.

A short sigh escaped him as he found himself staring at the same problem he had been for the past several minutes. Glancing up, he found the class was a few problems ahead, leaving him to scramble for the answer and catch up. It wasn’t as though the problems were extremely difficult but the repetition was tedious.

He didn’t care much for math, the numbers fitting a little too cleanly together and the utter certainty unnerving him. Math was strict and demanded perfection, while his preferred subjects could be more fluid. Science was always changing and open to challenges, understanding that it couldn’t explain everything but trying its best to make sense of the world. Art and music could change by the year, day, or even hour and was always growing. There was no set way to do any of it, which Eridan adored. Perfection had been demanded most of his life and breaking away from what demanded it left him a little lighter and a little happier.

Between copying numbers into neat rows, Eridan found himself doodling in the margins of his notebook. It started as shapes, diamonds and spirals filling the blank spaces around the notes, but turned quickly into sketching the features of those around him he found interesting. The oddly patterned freckles that dotted one girls cheeks or the purposeful mess of hair on the boy across the room. The stern expression of the professor as he spoke and the barely restrained laughter of a student glancing at their phone under their desk. This had been a hobby of his at one point in order to practice drawing natural expressions and movements. At one point, he’d sat in the park almost daily and just sketched. People, animals, scenery, and everything in between. It helped that his sketchbook was constantly at his fingertips, his primary form of communication for his few friends within the city, all but one of which didn’t know sign language, and his father who’d never bothered to talk to him half the time anyway.

His pencil was darkening the outline of a hand when slim fingers plucked the notebook from his desk. Green eyes met the mismatched ones yet again and his pencil met an almost destructive grip in his hand. Heat poured into his face from the base of his neck to the tips of his ears as he signed an apology the other almost surely didn’t understand.

The thump of his pulse was loud in his ears as he waited for a scathing remark or some sort of punishment. His mind scrambled, grasping for his limited knowledge of public schools. Would he get a detention? Detentions were a thing, right?

The logical part of him quietly spoke up, reasoning that he’d at most get reprimanded for not paying attention. It was his first day after all and he was sure that doodling was not a detentionable offense anyway.

But logic lost out to screeching panic that gripped Eridan to his very core, the cacophony of a thousand voices whispering and screaming and filling him with apprehension. He was going to get in trouble on his first day and he’d have to tell Cronus and he’d be disappointed of course he would because he’d fucked up on the first day and he’d fuck up again and again until they finally kicked him out and he shouldn’t have moved here he was only making things harder on the both of them he should have just stayed home and sucked it up where he only had himself to disappoint and-

The spiral returned to Eridan’s desk with the soft click of a metal spiral on the fake wood, his shortened breaths catching in his throat as red ink glared back at him from the paper.

_See me after class._

Digging his teeth into his lip, his eyes flicked to the professors retreating back as the blind panic surged onto the scarlet letters like sharks toward an injured meal. His nails dug into his palm as he forced his breaths to a schedule of inhales and exhales.

By the time the bell sent the students fleeing the classroom he’d managed to work his anxiety down to a heavy dread in his chest.

His feet were lead as he forced himself between the desks to where his professor sat, a blank page and blue pen in hand since he’d lost his favorite violet one to Captor’s face at lunch. Before he could write some excuse filled apology for why his attention had wandered, the other stood from his desk.

“Mr. Ampora.”

Eridan tensed further, his teeth digging into his cheek for the umpteenth time that day.

“How are you adjusting?”

A jolt of surprise and confusion made him straighten his spine, frowning slightly as the tension began to drain.

The confusion was apparently obvious, as the professor cleared his throat before elaborating. “Well obviously, you’re a new student, so there’s going to be some adjusting regardless but I saw on your file that this is your first time attending public school, correct?”

Eridan nodded a bit, his arms tightening on his sketchbook.

“Given the circumstances, I can understand how you may be getting used to the classroom setting. Of course, I won’t promote not paying attention but I do understand that minds wander. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, keep the doodling to a minimum?”

Eridan quickly nodded, relief relaxing his shoulders though he was still a bit embarrassed about having been caught drawing.

“And I don’t know how far your online classes got, but if you find yourself falling behind let me or any of your other teachers know. There’s teachers and students alike who can tutor you if necessary. Now I think it’s about time you head to next period.”

Glancing at the clock and nodding, he wrote a quick thank you and flashed it to the other before hurrying out the door. The halls were crowded enough to make seeing the classroom numbers a problem, but it wasn’t long before he ended up at the right door.

Luckily this time he managed to get in right before the bell rang, freezing when a roomful of eyes once again fell on him. The room was covered in pillows and beanbags, a long couch across the back wall and a few desks shoved to the side. Sitting in a comfortable chair at the front of the classroom was a woman with impossibly fluffy hair who jumped up at the sight of him. Sparkling green eyes looked him over as she grinned, a large book in her arms being dropped onto the chair as she bounded over. “You must be our new student.”

With a short nod, he handed her the note he’d tucked into the front of his sketchbook. She glanced over it and nodded a bit, handing it back and, much to Eridan’s surprise, signing. ‘ _I got the notice from the nurse a few days ago. You can pick any seat you’d like its first come first served here. I’ll get you a book list in just a second, and you can buy them or get them from the library.’_

Even her signing was energetic, her hands moving quickly and if he hadn’t been signing for years he’d probably have gotten lost. He couldn’t help the grin that lit up his features as he shoved his sketchbook into his bag.

‘ _Thank you, Ms. Leijon._ ’

She hurried to her desk and rummaged through the papers until she found what she was looking for, placing the list in his hand along with a copy of the book they were currently reading ‘for now’. Turning back to the class, she clapped her hands together. “Now everyone! We’re going to be silent reading today and we’ll have a class discussion tomorrow. Sound good?”

A wave of approval moved across the room as Eridan found himself curled up in an oversized beanbag at the back of the class. The book in his hands was well worn, the corners of the pages creased from dozens of folds. A smile lit his face as he settled in to read, losing himself in the words and the story. Occasionally he would look around, but everyone seemed to be minding their own business and reading, though a few were glancing at their phones or working on something else. Ms. Leijon was curled back in her chair, knees propped up with the book leaning against them as she read intently.

He'd almost finished the first chapter by the time the bell rang, for the first time today wishing he could stay in class longer. It was peaceful here and for once the quiet didn’t seem strange or out of place among the other students. With a frown, he pulled himself to his feet and tried to hand the book back to the professor, who shook her head.

“Hold onto that until you get your own copy. Just take care of it, alright?”

His nod almost sent his glasses off their precarious balance at the tip of his nose and he paused to push them back into place. ‘ _Of course._ ’

She grinned and patted his shoulder. “Great! Have a wonderful day!”

Returning the smile, he fished out his schedule again as he looked for his next class. Unfortunately, his head was down at exactly the wrong time and he only registered the fact that he’d run into a mass that was a lot softer than a wall for a moment before he stumbled back and hit the ground with enough force to knock his glasses off. Squinting against the blur, his hand wrapped around a pair of frames and picked them up though when he slid them on they didn’t feel quite right. The prescription was a tad weaker than his own, the frames far too round.

He pulled himself to his feet, huffing as he looked around. About a foot away a girl was doing the same, though her glasses looked familiar. Taking the frames off his face, he offered them to her as she stood.

A grin split her face as she handed him his own glasses, brushing her long hair out of her face. “Sorry about that. Um, I’m not sure I’ve seen you around before. I’m Jade!”

The brightness in her voice almost made him grimace. Why did the girls around him always seem so cheerful? But instead he offered a smile in return, quickly writing.

‘ _I’m Eridan._ ’

She didn’t miss a beat in replying, not seeming bothered by the nonverbal reply in any way. “Nice to meet you! Are you new?”

He nodded and her grin only seemed to become more blinding.

“Cool! Which class are you going to?”

‘ _Biology with Ms. Lalonde._ ’

Her eyes widened and she hooked her arm with his to pull him down the hall. “Me too! I’ll show you how to get there. And just warning you, Ms. Lalonde’s a bit…quirky. But she’s really nice I promise!”

Eridan followed, watching her hands as she spoke as her free one gestured wildly. A variety of colorful bands adorned her fingers like rings. Seeming to notice his confusion, she looked at her hand.

“Oh, these are just reminders. I can be a bit forgetful and these help.” She held up her index finger, which had a red band and two green. “See, gardening club today, Dave’s house for movies this weekend with everyone and I have a chemistry test today! Last period.”

Eridan had no clue who Dave was, or that this school even had a gardening club, but he just nodded as she spoke. At the door, she let his arm drop as she walked in, sitting at her desk quickly and waving him toward the teacher.

The woman at the front of the class seemed fairly young, her blonde her slightly curled and her eyes a bright pink. She looked at him and smiled, though it seemed a little lopsided. “You must be, Eri. Oops, Eridan.” Her voice was a little slurred, just barely enough to be noticeable but it made Eridan tense for a moment.

After a moment he handed her his note, sighing internally. Just one more class, he could do this.

She read over it, nodding to herself. “Yup, Eri. You can sit wherever you want. I don’t do all that assigned seats jazz.” She waved one hand at the desks. “And it looks like you already know Jadey so if you got any questions you can ask her.”

Jade, hearing her name, perked up and waved her arm at the desk next to hers. It was in the front row, but it would be rude to ignore her right? No use burning bridges with nice girls on his first day.

Sighing internally once more, he took the seat beside her and pulled out his notebook. Class seemed to go by quickly, with Eridan only half tuned into the notes as a folded piece of paper landed on his desk.

He glanced at Jade, who gave him a thumbs up.

            _eridan! i know its your first day and all but you come to movie night! the whole group will be there and im sure youll get to know everyone! being the new kid is tough, but these guys helped me get through it last year im sure itll be the same for you!_

The bright green ink was as cheerful as she was, her grin infectious as she waited for his reply.

            _I don’t know about this weekend, but a movie night sounds fun. Depending on who’s there._

_dont worry, silly! ill introduce you to everyone tomorrow. what lunch do you have?_

_First._

_same here! i wasnt there today but ill be tomorrow! ill make sure you know everyone and then you can decide. ok?_

He paused, considering it all. She seemed to be helpful and at the very least meeting them couldn’t hurt.

            _Okay._

Luckily for both of them she didn’t reply, letting them get their notes done before the bell rang. Once it had, Eridan stood and waved a quick goodbye to Jade before hurrying to his final class. No one crashed into him in the hall this time, letting him get through the door well before the bell.

The teacher sat on the desk, a pair of pointed shades blocking Eridan from knowing exactly where his eyes were. Still, he could almost feel it when the unseen eyes landed on him, a pale index finger pointing briefly at him.

“Ampora, right?”

The exchange was quick and soon he was waved to the only empty seat as the professor began writing formulas on the board. Eridan grimaced at he wrote, physics being far too close to math for his tastes. At least the professor was interesting, moving around the room to demonstrate the formulas he was talking about. He never once took off his shades which Eridan thought was a little unprofessional but whatever worked for him.

By the time the last bell rang, Eridan was more than ready to head home. He slung his bag over his shoulder and darted out of the classroom and hoped that Cronus was already outside.

When he got outside, the old car made him relax a bit. His brother was leaning against the hood, plucking a cigarette from between his lips and blowing smoke into the air. As the younger brother got closer, Cronus quickly put it out and flicked it away, climbing into the car as Eridan did the same.

“So, how’d it go, chief?” he asked, starting the car.

‘ _Fine._ ’

Cronus pursed his lips, but didn’t push for an explanation. At least not yet.

Eridan looked over what he’d written today, running his fingers over the indents the pen left in the paper aside from the ink. Irritation narrowed his eyes as his hand reached the switch from violet to blue, his lips pressing into a thin line and apparently catching his brothers attention.

“Somethin happen?”

He grimaced and shut his sketchbook, shoving it into his backpack. ‘ _Just some asshole at lunch._ ’

“What’d they do?”

‘ _Pissed me off. I threw my favorite pen at him_.’

The amused snort that escaped his brother made him glare at the elder.

‘ _It’s not funny! That was my favorite pen!_ ’

“Relax, Eri. I’m sure we can get you another pen. It ain’t like they’re endangered or somethin.”

‘ _That’s not the point. If he hadn’t been such a douche I wouldn’t have thrown it at him in the first place._ ’

“Just ask for it back tomorrow. And if he’s a dick and won’t hand it over we’ll get you a new one. Problem solved.” He shrugged. “So, what’d he do anyway?”

‘ _Called me creepy for being so quiet. I told him I couldn’t talk and he still made some comment about the whole thing._ ’

Cronus shrugged a little. “People are gonna be assholes, Eri. Just can’t let them get to you.”

‘ _Easy for you to say._ ’

After a long moment of uncomfortable silence, Cronus cleared his throat. “So, aside from him did ya meet anyone interesting?”

It took Eridan a few moments to answer, but finally he sighed and gave in. ‘ _I met Kankri’s little brother and some of his friends. Why?_ ’

His brother sighed. “Well…livin with Pa didn’t give you a lot of chances to meet people I’m guessin. I just don’t want you to end up by yourself because of it.” Running a hand through his hair, he grumbled a bit to himself. “Look, I know I’m probably gonna be shit at this guardian thing but I do worry about you alright?”

Eridan looked at his lap for a second before nodding, glad they were back at the house. Darting to his room, he got started on the homework he’d gotten. He knew Cronus was trying his best, but both of them knew he wasn’t cut out for taking care of someone. He had the role of protective older brother down to a tee but a parent was something Cronus was not.

It was a few hours before a knock sounded at his door. Placing a bookmark in his text, he stood and opened the door.

“Dinners ready, kiddo.” Cronus looked a little concerned, but too awkward to ask whatever was on his mind. “I ordered from that Chinese place you liked last time you visited.”

‘ _Thanks._ ’

He could smell the food from his room, grinning as he grabbed the box and curled on the couch. He hadn’t realized how hungry he’d been, the bland lunch at school nowhere near enough to actually feed someone. The brothers ate in silence for the most part, though a nagging question had appeared in Eridan’s head that he couldn’t quite get to go away.

He set down his box on the coffee table and glanced at Cronus.

‘ _Did Dad call or anything?_ ’

The elder paused mid-bite and set his fork back into the noodles, frowning at him. “You don’t need to worry about that. He’s not comin out here anytime soon.”

‘ _That’s not what I asked._ ’

“I don’t get why you’d want to know. You came here for a reason. Don’t worry about that asshole.”

‘ _I want to know because he’s still my dad._ ’ Because if he called it meant he cared, even if he’d been bad at showing it. Because some screwed up part of his head still missed him and loved him.

“Well it’s not like he treated you much like a son.”

Eridan flinched at that, hearing his brother swear and sit up.

“Eri, I know you miss him. You lived with him for seventeen years. But he’s…he’s not a good person. At the very least, he shouldn’t have been raising you, not that I’d have done a much better job. And no, he hasn’t called. I won’t stop you if you want to call him, but just… think it through first. Alright?”

Eridan nodded a little, bringing his knees to his chest. ‘ _Do you think he’ll still call us for Christmas?_ ’

Cronus grimaced. “If he does it’ll just be for show. The only reason he invited me every year is because apparently it looks bad to his colleagues if his family doesn’t visit during the holidays. Upholding his image or something. But if he does, I’ll go with you. If only because I don’t trust him not to be an ass.”

They were both sullen for a few moments before Eridan finished off his food and disappeared into his room again. Maybe a call to Fef would make him feel better.

He opened his laptop and requested a video chat, waving at his friend as she appeared on screen.

“ _Shell_ o Eri _fin_!’

‘ _Hey, Fef._ ’

“It _reels_ like it’s been so long since _wave carped_! _Shell_ me all a _boat_ your new school!”

‘ _It’s just a school, Fef. No_ fin _spe_ shell.’

She grinned widely at the puns, as she always did when he used them. “Still! It’s gotta be a whole lot different than bef _oar_. Right?”

‘ _I guess. And there were so many people it was kind of unnerving. Speaking of people, let me tell you about this one asshole…_ ’

The next hours were filled with chatting and horrible puns until both parties ended up crashing at their computers though Eridan woke the next morning curled in his bed with a warm happiness in his chest. It stayed with him as he pulled himself out of bed and started getting ready for the day, making him a little more hopeful for the day to come.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter, but it covers some important plot points. Thank you to everyone who comments and kudos this! I love hearing what you guys think!

Eridan insisted on making breakfast, practically shoving his brother out of the kitchen before he could butcher another pan of eggs. The pan from yesterday had apparently been ruined, so now they were down a pan and Eridan wasn’t letting Cronus near another one unless he actually learned how to cook.

At some point the day before, the cabinets had been switched out or painted so they were now a darker color. Although the counters and floors were still glaring white, it was broken up enough by the cabinets to be bearable as he scraped together enough ingredients to make pancakes.

Cronus seemed surprised he could cook, but Eridan shrugged off the questions and shoved a plate into his hand before picking up his own. His brother shoved a forkful in his mouth, grinning at him.

“Damn, Eri. Seriously, where’d you learn how to cook?”

‘ _Well I had to eat somehow._ ’

That made Cronus pause and look at Eridan, raising an eyebrow.

“Didn’t dad have that personal chef or somethin like that?”

With a little shrug, Eridan sat down on the couch to eat. ‘ _After you left he said there wasn’t a point in havin a chef for one person. He always ate at work. So I learned to cook._ ’

“So what, if you hadn’t learned he was just gonna let you starve?”

Eridan shot a glare at Cronus. Their father had been difficult and living with him had been frustrating at best but he was still their father. He couldn’t quite understand why Cronus hated him so much, it wasn’t like he’d been around enough to face his temper anyway.

‘ _I doubt it. I just didn’t feel like bothering him for takeout money._ ’

“You mean you didn’t want to piss him off-“

Eridan stood abruptly, gripping his half-eaten breakfast tightly and darting into his room without looking at his brother. He heard a soft swear but didn’t look back, plopping onto his bed to angrily finish his breakfast.

It wasn’t as if he liked their father. He just didn’t hate him the way Cronus did. Damien “Dualscar” Ampora was an intimidating businessman well known for his cold demeanor and ruthless business strategies and no one knew this better than his family. For as long as Eridan could remember his father was rarely home, but when he was Cronus wasn’t. Though the brothers were close, the younger often found himself alone with his father, who’s favorite mood was a cold shoulder. When Cronus had left home for good, the house had become even lonelier and the tension between Eridan and their father had increased until Cronus got him out of there.

Eridan sighed as he set his plate on the nightstand and got dressed, feeling a little guilty for storming out like that. Cronus was just concerned, as he had a right to be. Chewing on his lip as he stepped out the door, he found Cronus on the porch with a cigarette in his mouth.

‘ _Sorry._ ’

Cronus seemed surprised, straightening a bit. “For what? Eri, you got nothin to be apologizin for.”

‘ _I got mad and stormed out. You’re letting me stay here-_ ‘

“Hey,” Cronus cut him off. “I get it. You care about Dad. I just don’t want you to end up getting hurt waiting for him to start caring. And I’m your big bro, I’m allowed to be pissed about the whole ‘cooking for yourself since you were twelve’ thing.”

Eridan sighed and nodded a little, though he couldn’t help flinching. Dad cared about him, just in his own way. He wasn’t an emotional or social man was all.

Cronus put out his cigarette and ruffled Eridan’s hair. “Sorry for wreckin your morning, Eri. Let’s get you to school.”

Before he could nod, he heard a loud voice ringing across the yard and looked up to see Karkat at the end of their driveway, another boy standing next to him.

“AMPORA!” Came the yell again, the sweatered teen waving an arm to make sure he had his attention. “YOU CAN WALK WITH US, FUCKNUT!”

Eridan grinned and glanced at Cronus before nodding, holding up a finger, and dashing back inside. He could hear Cronus telling them he’d be back out in a minute.

When he did reemerge, his sketchbook in his arms and his bag slung over a shoulder, he gave Cronus a quick side hug before hurrying to Karkat’s side. He barely heard his brother telling him to have a good day before the trio was off.

The unfamiliar boy was apparently Dave, who lived a few blocks over and walked with Karkat to school most days. Eridan was a little unnerved by the stoic face and sunglasses, but shrugged it off. Everyone had their quirks.

Karkat rambled about something or other for the majority of the walk, hardly paying attention to Dave’s occasional comments or Eridan’s nodding. The noise was oddly comforting as he followed them to the school’s library. Eridan’s eyes widened a bit and he grinned as he looked over the books. Despite his excitement, he kept close to the others as they fell into chairs around a table, the others occupied by two girls leaning slightly against each other.

The taller of the two glanced over Eridan, elegant in all her movements. Her hair was a deep brown that was only a few shades darker than her skin, her eyes jade green and sparking with curiosity as she stood. The girl beside her stood as well, about three inches shorter with bleached hair and fair skin. She set a pair of knitting needles down onto a pile of lavender yarn as the first girl extended a hand.

“I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Kanaya Maryam, and this is Rose.”

He shook her hand, then Rose’s as the blonde rolled her eyes.

“I’m quite capable of introducing myself, dear.” Her voice was light and teasing, the others jade colored lips pulling into a small smile.

Eridan almost forgot to introduce himself, scurrying to pull a pen out and scowling at the blue one he came up with.

_I’m Eridan. It’s a pleasure to meet you two._

Rose’s pale brow furrowed, her eyes brightening in curiosity though she said nothing. Eridan wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but he knew the irritation in his stomach with absolute certainty as he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“KK. It’th way too early for thith shit,” grumbled the nerdy boy as he slumped against the table. “Why do I even get here thith early? Hell, why do you get here thith early?”

“Because your dad is a teacher, dumbass. And I personally would rather be here than at home with Kankri on my ass constantly.” He glanced at Eridan. “Just get your brother to ask him out already, get them both out of our hair.”

Eridan rolled his eyes and shrugged, but couldn’t help an airy chuckle though it died when the strangely colored lenses turned to him. Instead he found himself glaring and scribbling onto his paper.

_Where’s my pen, asshole?_

“Why the fuck would I know?” He smirked a little. “Or are you talking about the one you chunked at my head yethterday?”

He gave a curt nod, arms crossed.

Sollux stretched his arms out in front of him and shrugged. “I tothed it.”

There was a moment of the two staring at each other, Sollux smirking and Eridan’s mouth in a little ‘o’.

_THAT WAS MY FAVORITE PEN!_

“Well you shouldn’t have thrown it at me.”

_You were being an ass._

“You were being creepy.”

_I’m mute, asswagon._

“I thtand by my point.”

Eridan grit his teeth, clutching the pen almost painfully tight.

_Fuck you._

“Thorry, you’re not my type.”

Snickers rang in Eridan’s ears as he felt heat rush to his face, but Karkat cut off their bickering with an elbow in Sollux’s side.

“Enough already. It asscrack of dawn, I don’t need to listen to you being an ass. Ugh, where’s Aradia anyway, she usually keeps you from being a total dick.”

At that Sollux’s face fell and he slumped completely against the table. “She’th with her biology partner. Apparently there’th a project coming up tho she’th been buthy with him.”

Karkat’s thick eyebrows escaped into his perpetual bedhead. “Him?”

“Don’t thtart, KK.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, dickweed. I just found it interesting.”

“Thith ithn’t one of your shitty novelth, KK. It’th a thchool project. I’m bored, not jealouth.”

He stood abruptly and glared at Karkat before he swept out of the library and the bell rang.

Karkat stepped beside Eridan with an exaggerated eye roll. “He’s jealous. Probably why he’s being such a douche to you.”

With a quick shrug, Eridan kept walking. If Sollux was going to be rude, he was going to be rude and Eridan could deal with that. He’d dealt with worse.

It was funny how fast time could fly when he wasn’t paying attention, Mr. English’s class over and behind him before he knew it. He could vaguely remember finishing his worksheets and handing them in, but a deep throbbing had settled behind his eyes and left him unable to focus.

His mind kept running back to the conversation with his brother, the argument with Sollux. He didn’t care for people being upset with him but he wasn’t sure what to do about either situation. Cronus would insist he wasn’t upset and Sollux had seemed to have made up his mind that he hated him.

This headache stuck with him through art, though he was able to rein in his thoughts enough to have a somewhat coherent conversation with Nepeta, and even into swimming. Normally the cold water and exercise would clear his head, at least while he was in the pool, but he couldn’t help but find himself with wandering thoughts and sloppy strokes that earned harsh laughter from a girl he’d learned was Vriska.

It wasn’t a tough decision to skip speech and head to the nurse’s office. His head was absolutely killing him at this point, and the class was pointless to him anyway. Ducking through the marked door, he grimaced at the bright lights and focused instead on the nurse. She smiled kindly at him, adjusting the colorful scarf that covered her hair.

“Do you have a pass?”

Almost shakily, he pulled a small form from his bag. A pass, given his condition, that would let him go to the nurse whenever he needed to.

As she looked it over, he focused on the name plate on her desk. Mrs. Paint. She looked a bit concerned, handing back the pass. “Did you have an attack?” she asked softly.

He shook his head and pressed two fingers to his temple. Realization dawned across her face.

“You have a headache?” As soon as he nodded she looked over his file and handed him two painkillers. “You can lay down on one of the cots until the end of the period, but you should go eat lunch once the bell rings. If you still feel bad you can come back.”

Smiling at her gratefully, he took the pills and curled up on the paper covered bed in the darkened room. It was quiet aside from the tapping of Mrs. Paint at her keyboard and the soft crinkling of the paper when he moved at all. The ache in his skull dulled as he relaxed, his arms crossed under his head in place of a pillow.

He was almost dozing when the bell rang, lifting his head when Mrs. Paint poked hers in to remind him to eat. With a sigh, he stood and trudged to the cafeteria, which was crowded, as expected.

The familiar faces of his new friends caught his eye, though this time Sollux was thankfully absent. Eridan was enjoying his lack of a headache and didn’t feel like getting another so soon. Beside the group was the girl from his biology class. Jude? Jane? Something like that.

She waved quickly, bouncing over to him. “Hey, Eridan! These are the friend’s I was telling you about.”

Gesturing to the group, Eridan glanced over to see Dave give him a little nod before resuming a conversation with the raven-haired boy beside him, who looked quite a bit like Jade. “Dave, John, and it looks like you already know Karkat. Rose isn’t here, she always spends her lunch in the library with Kanaya.”

“He met her this morning,” Karkat interjected, sounding more tired than angry and slumping against the table. Eridan’s brow furrowed and after he greeted the new people he took the seat beside him and pushed his sketchbook to him.

_Are you alright?_

Karkat glanced over the note and nodded a little, sighing. “Yeah just fucking peachy. Aside from the math test I failed but what the fuck ever. Just another thing for Kankri to chew my ass out about.”

Eridan gave him a sympathetic look and patted his arm.

_If he gets to be too much you can hang out at my place. I’m sure Cro wouldn’t mind._

“…I can handle Kankri but thanks. It’s just annoying how he tries to be a parent. He’s not my fucking dad and he never will be.”

As if sensing the emotional torment roiling in the short boy, a pair of thin arms wrapped around his shoulders and both teens jumped. Gamzee placed his head on Karkat’s shoulder, having to practically bend in half to do so with their height difference.

“Best friend,” he drawled, a lazy grin on his painted face. “Why don’t we get our motherfucking grub on? I think they’ve got those little miracle brownies a brother holds so dear for dessert.”

There was a tense silence, broken by Karkat standing and sighing loudly. “Yeah yeah, come on, fuckwit.” He glanced at Eridan. “You too.”

Eyes widening slightly, Eridan shook his head. His stomach flipped at the thought of walking to the counter, of risking the possibility of someone talking to him or of there being some mistake in his account. Besides, he’d eaten that morning.

Karkat’s harsh, knowing glare made him flinch, but the pair left without another word as Eridan laid his cheek against the cool table. The clattering of a tray beside is head had him sitting up straight and tensing a few minutes later, though it was just Karkat with his food.

Before he could do a thing, a tray of some kind of fried meat was dropped in front of him, along with a fruit cup. He glanced over to see Karkat digging into a brownie drowned in whip cream. When he poked him, and raised a brow, the other shrugged.

“I just like the brownies. Fucking eat already.”

Like yesterday, as soon as Eridan took a bite he was ravenous, downing it quickly. Perhaps he really should eat more.

The end of lunch came too quickly, leaving him rushing upstairs to Calculus and thankfully getting there on time. Unfortunately, he still had no clue what was going on. The numbers just didn’t seem to make sense and for someone used to doing his classes at his own pace, following the teacher was hard. Thoroughly frustrated and close to tearing his hair out by the end of class, it must have been obvious he was completely lost.

Mr. Captor stopped him at the door, frowning. “You seemed…frustrated. Are you having trouble with the material?”

Reluctantly, Eridan found himself nodding. As much as he hated it, the thought of failing right after moving in with Cronus seemed worse. What if the elder was disappointed, or what if their father found out?

“I told you, there are tutors available. If you’d like some help, I’m sure my son could assist you.”

After a long pause, Eridan nodded again. He might as well.

“Are you here before school?”

Another nod.

“Good. You can meet him in the library before school and he’ll help you catch up. If you’d like to get started early, you can stop by after school. He’ll be in here.”

Eridan wrote a quick thank you, hoping this helped him out, and rushed to his next class. Ms. Leijon was excitedly leading a class discussion, letting students write out their thoughts on the board. This was definitely his favorite class.

Bio passed without incident, though Jade still wanted to know if he was interested in the weekend plans. He still had to think about it.

Physics was much the same, with Mr. Strider perched on the desk for the majority of the class.

Apprehension welled up in his stomach as he texted Cronus that he’d be staying after school, his feet dragging him toward the Calculus room. Part of him wanted to run now, imagining what Mr. Captor’s son would be like. Perhaps he’d be strict, though the teacher seemed to have a kinder side to him. The uncertainty kept his hand resting on the door handle for a few minutes before he finally pushed it open.

Sitting at his desk was Mr. Captor, bickering with a tall student in the first row. The only student in the room.

Eridan’s eyes went wide and he gripped his sketchbook to his chest tightly.

“Oh, hello, Eridan. This is my son, Sollux.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little late I've been outlining the story more and starting work on a novel. Warning, this chapter gets deeper into Eridan's mind, and that's not the happiest place so TW: for depression, anxiety, poor self image and panic attacks. As always, comments are loved. I adore hearing what you all think.

The tension between the teens was almost tangible, both sneering at each other disdainfully. Eridan glanced at the professor, who’d raised an eyebrow as he looked between the two. With a sigh, he turned from the other boy and grabbed the pen from behind his ear.

_We’ve met_

“Oh? Is that so?” Mr. Captor glanced over at Sollux. “Then this should work just fine.”

“Dad theriouthly? Why am I thtuck tutoring the new kid?”

Eridan almost flinched, but ended up just glaring at the other and walking over to the desk beside him. Once he sat down, he calmly got out his math work and gave Sollux a little smirk. If he wanted to act like a brat, then Eridan was at least going to act like the bigger person if only to annoy the shit out of him. It seemed to be working, as he watched the others knuckles whiten around his pencil, though his face hardly twitched.

“You were complaining about being bored in the mornings,” the professor said simply. “Now you have something to do. And maybe he can help you with your history grade. Mr. English tells me he’s rather good at it.”

Sollux’s eyes narrowed and he rolled them before leaning back in his chair. “Fine.” His eyes met Eridan’s as he snatched the worksheet from his desk. “Let’th get thith over with.” There was a snicker as he looked over the paper, though his eyes were still hidden behind the colored lenses. “Thith ith bathic shit- “

“Sollux.” Mr. Captor’s voice had a warning tone, though the teacher had once again sat at his desk and was currently grading papers, not bothering to look up at his son.

Sollux grimaced and dropped the paper back on Eridans desk, mumbling an apology. This time he leaned over to look at the paper instead of grabbing it, frowning a bit as he thought. “Well, what _do_ you know? Got to start somewhere.”

Eridan sighed and pulled out his notes, boxing off the information he understood quickly and staring the concepts that he had no clue how to tackle. There were admittedly more stars than not, but hopefully that didn’t mean he’d have to spend all his free time being tutored. At the very least, he hoped he wouldn’t be the only one as he recalled what Mr. Captor had said about history.

The other teen grimaced at the notes, but began outlining the first problem set. Eridan tried to pay attention, but his mind often wandered and his gaze with it. More than once he was brought back to attention by snapping fingers or a sharp prod, both of which were followed by a verbal jab.

“It’th no wonder you don’t know anything,” Sollux grumbled, watching Eridan outline a problems steps for the third time. Green eyes narrowed at him, but he otherwise ignored him. Well, he tried to at the very least.

By the sixth or seventh mumbled comment, Eridan was fed up though he suspected the other was trying to get such a reaction. Maybe he was hoping that the Ampora would just quit if he got under his skin enough, and as much as Eridan loved the idea of walking out he knew this was important. He couldn’t make it in this school if he couldn’t even pass a math class, and if he failed how the hell was he supposed to be able to handle college.

All the same, the comments had their effect. It wasn’t the taunting or the unwelcome feeling he got that bothered him, he was plenty used to that. It was the confusion as to what he’d done to earn the contempt. Before it was easy to know why he wasn’t wanted, hell he’d been told enough times to have it burned into his mind, but here it seemed that all he’d done was exist. Perhaps that was all that was needed.

A buzz tore him from his thoughts, making him jump almost entirely out of his chair before he fumbled the phone out of his pocket. The time shocked him, almost an hour and a half had passed since school had ended, though you couldn’t tell that from the work he’d accomplished, and Cronus was texting him to see when he’d be home.

Eridan chewed his lip, standing abruptly, and grabbing the notebook off Sollux’s desk. The blonde looked startled and raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair.

“Woah where’th the fire, Ampora?” he asked, earning an eyeroll as Eridan begrudgingly reopened his journal.

_Way out in the district of none a your fuckin business, Captor. I just don’t plan to spend all night here, so I suppose I’ll have to grace you with my presence tomorrow morning. I’ll be there at seven._

Not wanting to wait for a reply, he ripped the page out and tossed it onto the others desk as he swept out of the room. He trotted down the stairs as he let his brother know he was on his way home, though he didn’t mention that he only vaguely remembered exactly where the house was. It’d be fine he was sure.

The air had chilled across the town, the color of the sky having faded into a soft gray blanket over the homes. Eridan hadn’t paid too much attention to the area since he’d arrived, though it had only been a couple of days. He could see the perfectly trimmed yards yellowing along the edges, a few weeds peeking out as though they knew they’d be cut down on sight. Flowers shriveled, clinging to the last bits of their color as their petals fell away to dry and crumble against the roots. The houses that had at first seemed so perfect and quaint were speckled with imperfections. Peeling paint on the front door of the house on the corner, a taped window on the one next to that. A car with a headlight broken sitting in a driveway, the concrete of the sidewalks cracking and making way for plants that would be dead in weeks. Perhaps that was why he felt calmer here, more at place among the imperfections than he’d been in a mansion kept spotless by maids who never said a word to him. He doubted they were even allowed to, though the company would have been nice.

Home had been perfectly furnished and shiny and clean, not a book out of place and not a smudge to be found. His room had been his solace, with books stacked in all available corners to avoid asking for a new shelf, posters splayed across the pale walls and color vibrant wherever he could fit it. Sometimes he’d wished he could live in the perfection his father did, that he could be the perfect son and make him happy, but for him it was impossible. That house was suffocating, as was the mold for the son his father wanted, the one Eridan couldn’t fit into after seventeen years of trying.

Being here felt like he’d stepped out of a jail cell, out of a pit. He could breathe here, among the imperfect things, the things that didn’t mock him for his own flaws. For the first time in his life he felt like at least someone wanted him around and he didn’t dread going home.

He stepped through the front door only to be hit with a mouthwatering scent. Suspicion peaked within him. As the ruined pan of eggs yesterday made plainly clear, Cronus couldn’t cook. He stepped cautiously toward the kitchen, wary until he caught sight of a familiar red hoodie.

Kankri stood at their stove, watching a pan while Cronus chopped something next to him. There was hardly an inch between the two, their arms brushing as they worked on the meal. Every so often Kankri would throw a tip or correction at the Ampora, earning comments and jokes in return. Eridan shrank back against the doorway, his stomach flopping as he looked over the two. They seemed to be enjoying each other’s company, and probably would continue to if Eridan wasn’t there. He was almost terrified to make his presence known, not wanting to ruin their moment. Perhaps it’d be better if he snuck to his room and pretended not to exist, letting them be happy.

The dilemma was decided when Cronus turned to get a bowl from the cabinet, bumping his hip against the others before he spotted his brother. Blue eyes glanced at the lack of space between himself and the Vantas, pink dusting his cheeks but his mouth split into a wide grin. “Hey, Eri.”

‘ _Hey, Cro. What’s Kan doin over?_ ’

“Oh, you know. He just can’t stay away from me- “he cut off as a wooden spoon caught his arm, Kankri’s cheeks reddening.

“Cronus, you know very well that’s not why.” Kankri turned to Eridan, putting the spoon on the cabinet. “I’m fully aware of the fact that your brother knows, excuse my language, jack shit about cooking and although I can’t do much about him clogging is own arteries with fast food, I’d rather make sure that someone in this house is being feeding you properly than leave you to both suffer grease filled demises.”

“Aw, come on, Kanny. You don’t care at all about me? That’s cold,” Cronus teased, reaching around him to grab the bowl. He seemed oblivious to how red Kankri’s face was getting as the albino quickly busied himself with the stove again.

“In any case, I’m teaching your brother to cook. You’re welcome to help if you’d like. Cronus mentioned you knew a bit yourself?”

Eridan nodded, setting his bag on the couch before stepping to the sink to wash his hands.

‘ _Dad had a lot to do, running a company and all, so I made things easier by learning how to cook._ ’

He didn’t miss the look Cronus gave him, but rather ignored it as Kankri nodded.

“I’ve been cooking for Karkat and myself for quite a while, though I’ll admit I was fairly horrible at it at first.”

‘ _There’s no way you were as bad as Cronus._ ’

“Oh? What makes you say that?”

“Eri, come on,” Cronus whined, almost pouting which looked hilarious on the man.

‘ _He ruined a pan yesterday trying to cook eggs. I think they melded with the pan, we couldn’t get them off._ ’

A hand covered Kankri’s mouth to muffle a few snickers, Cronus’s ears reddening as he scraped the veggies he’d chopped into the bowl roughly.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Nice to know my failure was good for something.”

He almost sounded like a child pouting, making a point to not look at either of them though when Kankri put a hand on the elder Ampora’s arm he practically melted. It was edging on infuriating how oblivious the pair of them were.

“You know we’re only teasing, Cronus. And that sort of thing is exactly why I’m here anyway. Besides, you must admit it _is_ a little funny, isn’t it?”

Cronus nodded, giving Kankri a grin that had Eridan rolling his eyes. “Whatever, Kanny. Let’s just get back to cooking, I think the meat’s burning.”

Kankri gasped, his eyes wide as he spun back to find the meat perfectly fine. He gave the laughing Ampora’s a small glare before the three settled into a little routine. It was finished soon enough, with the three of them curled on the couch and watching some documentary.

Eridan couldn’t help but notice the two just barely leaning against each other, his brothers arm slung lightly over the back of the couch just a few inches from Kankri’s shoulders. They were engrossed in the screen and in a quiet conversation enough that neither seem to notice when Eridan set his plate in the kitchen and disappeared into his room. Something cold curled in his stomach as he tried to busy himself with homework, working its way into his veins.

An hour dragged by, then two and three before Eridan finally stood and peeked into the living room. They were fully curled up together, Kankri tucked under Cronus’s arm, his head on his shoulder as they spoke. The freezing cold jolted through him, something dark lashing out at the loneliness the cold implied. He knew they weren’t shutting him out on purpose, but he couldn’t help the bits of jealousy that filled him. After so long he finally felt wanted, finally had affection and family and someone to talk to, but at the moment he felt just as lonely as he had in that manor.

He didn’t want to be jealous of Kankri, he wanted to be happy for them. But the cold still gripped him as he tried to hold on to the first bits of attention he could remember getting and he couldn’t help feeling ignored. Of course, Cronus would want to spend time with the boy he liked, rather than the broken brother he couldn’t quite understand. Of course, he would rather talk to his friends than the teenager he’d taken in out of guilt. Eridan hated the thoughts the cold screamed at him, telling him everything he feared most.

He was second best to everyone, a friend but not most important to anyone. Not that he blamed them, but even with Feferi he felt like everyone had something or someone better to deal with, with him clinging to every bit of affection he could get and trying not to get left behind. No one really needed him, or even wanted him around, they simply dealt with him, his mind whispered, his chest tightening as it all threatened to overwhelm.

The broken sob that wracked his body was smothered into a pillow, the uneven breathing kept quiet. He was already selfish enough to be jealous, to want attention he didn’t deserve, he wouldn’t ruin his brothers evening.

He clutched his hands to his chest, the trembling uncontrollable as he tried to wait for it to subside. It was a long while before his hands stilled and his breaths slowed, his throat raw and his eyes puffy from crying. This was a familiar feeling, the exhaustion after waiting an attack out driving him to sleep almost immediately, barely letting him cocoon himself in the comforter before he drifted off. In the morning, he’d pretend it never happened, he’d smile and shove the freezing selfishness down until he didn’t have to think about it. It’d be easy. After all, he’d been practicing all his life


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know the story has been kinda sad but I swear it gets better, there are happy moments I promise this isn't just a pile of misery. That being said TW: implied abuse, slight self harm, panic attacks, anxiety  
> Thank you so much to everyone who's commented so far, the comments are actually what motivated me to get this out faster, it just made me want to write and I love you all so much for it.

Eridan decided he much preferred sleeping as he curled up tighter under the blankets, trying futilely to force himself back into the realm of unconsciousness. A dull pain throbbed behind his eyes, his second headache in as many days, making him groan and sit up with bleary eyes. He shoved his glasses up to rub them, grimacing as he hoped there was no puffiness to indicate tears the night before. Between the attack and falling asleep it seemed he’d left the frames on, one leg leaving an indention he rubbed absentmindedly as he forced himself out of bed. Shuffling to the kitchen, he poured a bowl of cereal more out of habit than hunger. Perhaps it was residual anxieties, but the knot in his abdomen had yet to leave and churned his stomach at the very thought of food. Despite this, he sat on the couch and forced himself to eat breakfast, his mouth twisting into a grimace with every bite.

The sound of a door closing made him jump, a bit of milk sloshing onto the front of the shirt he’d never changed out of as his brother slumped into the room. Neither of them were exactly morning people, the reluctance to leave their beds a staple of the Ampora household. Blue eyes met green and a grunt of greeting was given before the elder threw together his own breakfast.

There was a tenseness in the air as Cronus sat on the couch, Eridan stiffening and busying himself with finishing his cereal. He attempted to get his bowl in the sink and his ass to his room before the other had woken enough to speak, but unfortunately, he heard his brother call out as soon as he stepped down the hall.

“You feeling okay, Eri?”

Eridan bit his lip for a moment before taking a deep breath and shoving the emotions from his face as he turned around. ‘ _Yeah, why?_ ’

“You just seemed a little tense. And you’re still wearing your clothes from yesterday.”

‘ _I’m just tired, Cro. I accidentally passed out in them it’s not a big deal._ ’

The other Ampora didn’t seem convinced, standing with his own now empty bowl, and frowning slightly. His brow furrowed as he glanced at Eridan’s neck. “Somethin happen?”

Eridan raised an eyebrow, not even bothering to sign his confusion. Cronus tapped the collar of his own shirt. “You’ve got some red marks.”

He ran his fingers over the skin above his shirt collar, frowning at the slightly raised lines that felt slightly warm against his cool fingers. ‘ _I probably just scratched it in my sleep. Geez Cro, it’s not a big deal._ ’ The straight face threatened to slip as he scrambled for a topic switch. ‘ _How’s Kankri?_ ’

The way his brother’s eyes lit up at the mention of their neighbor told him the subject had successfully been dropped. “He’s fine. Left after a couple of movies. Got him to watch Grease though, so that’s a win.”

Eridan raised an eyebrow. ‘ _He seemed a little more than fine. What with you two blushing like a shitty romance novel. Did you get anywhere with that?_ ’

A dark red colored Cronus’ face and he sputtered for a moment. “I- uh- we just watched a couple movies. He’s my friend is all.”

The brow crept higher and his arms crossed. Cro fidgeted, glancing away, and scratching the back of his head. ‘ _So, you haven’t asked him out yet?_ ’

The blush brightened and he looked away. “It ain’t like that. Who even says I wanna ask him out?”

‘ _The fact that you were snuggling so hard that you didn’t notice I’d left_.’ He froze when he let the comment slip, cursing to himself as concern washed over his brothers face again.

“Didn’t mean to drive ya out of the living room. Just…I was kinda surprised he let me do that at all.”

Eridan scrambled to avoid the way the guilt surged in his stomach, grimacing. ‘ _Of course he did. He likes you, obviously._ ’

Something akin to hope lit the others face. “…you really think so?”

‘ _Karkat sure thinks he does. And last night wasn’t exactly purely platonic._ ’

He jumped as arms wrapped around him. “Thanks, Eri. But seriously, you coulda just told us to cut it out.”

Eridan stepped away and shrugged, nausea and guilt swirling in his stomach still though he kept his face nonchalant. ‘ _I had homework. It’s not a big deal_.’ And they’d looked happier with each other, not that he’d ever mention it. ‘ _Speaking of which, I need to get to school. I’ve got tutoring._ ’

There was confusion on the others face for a moment as he processed the information. “Tutoring? It’s your first week.”

Eridan sighed, running a hand through his hair. ‘ _Calculus is a bitch and I want to catch up. Plus, my teacher offered it, it would have been rude to say no when he’s trying to help._ ’

Cronus grimaced a little. “I guess. Is that why you stayed after school yesterday.”

He gave a small nod. ‘ _Yeah. But it’ll be in the mornings mostly until I get the hang of this._ ’

Glancing at his watch, Cronus shrugged a bit. “Alright, I guess if you want we can head out a little early.”

Eridan paused, having expected to walk to school. Now that he’d proven he could why would Cronus go through the trouble of getting him there? He didn’t question it though, simply disappearing into his room to get ready for the day.

It wasn’t long before he was in the living room again, fidgeting with the strap of his back as Cronus emerged from his own room and walked quickly towards the front door. “Well? Come on, Eri. It’s quicker than walking.”

After a moment Eridan sighed and hurried out after him. He climbed into the car, wondering if Cronus somehow knew what had happened last night and was trying to make up for it. No, he couldn’t know, he was just trying to be nice. Still, the thought wouldn’t leave Eridan’s mind, taunting him and driving guilt into him again and again.

Neither of them spoke between the house and the school, the silence being filled with his brother’s shitty taste in music instead. Was it just him, or did Cronus feel the awkwardness too? Did he realize where it was coming from? The questions made Eridan sigh quietly, eyes firmly out the window and until the school came into sight. He jumped out the door as soon as he could and gave his brother a quick wave as he stepped inside.

However, before he could head to the library he had something to look at. Darting into a bathroom, he pulled aside the scarf looped around his neck and dragged the collar of his shirt down a few inches. Running from about halfway down his neck to just under the neckline was a set of raised red lines, a few seeming to have broken skin. Unfortunately, he had enough experience to realize it had probably happened during the attack the night before. Back home, his worst attacks always seemed to involve him subconsciously clawing at his arms and chest, though he hadn’t expected it to follow him here.

The sound of a throat clearing made him jump, throwing his scarf back around his neck as an irritatingly familiar figure raised an eyebrow behind him. There was an unspoken question hanging in the air between them, which Eridan made the executive decision to ignore. Instead, he shot the other a glare, crossing his arms before hurrying out of the bathroom and to the library.

He sat at the long table from before, though it was decidedly more empty this time, and tried to ignore the strange looks Sollux was giving him when he joined him at the table. He refused to think about what the other had seen, or what he’d thought about it, sure that it would just make more trouble than he needed to deal with. Luckily it seemed that the other wanted no part in that can of worms either. The two sat in silence as Eridan pulled out his notes from the day before, passing the problems he’d tried at home to the other.

It only took a few moments for the comments to start up, with the other teen muttering about his work as he corrected a few of the questions. He was making progress, but apparently not fast enough for the impatient Captor. Eridan did his best to follow along, or at the very least not seem completely lost. Sollux seemed to be more energized today, speaking faster and paying less attention to his lisp, only to get irritated when Eridan asked him to repeat something. His temper seemed shorter as well, though it was getting easier to hide the effect the insults had on him as time wore on.

Eridan wasn’t sure when Karkat showed up, given the other seemed to suddenly appear in the chair beside him, but once he joined the conversation the tutoring session was officially over. He vaguely listened to Karkat’s ramblings, ripping a paper in half and handing a note to each boy. Karkat looked down at his first, sighing.

_Kankri came over yesterday. Where were you?_

Karkat shrugged, leaning against the table. “Hanging out with Dave, avoiding Kankri. The usual. Apparently, the insufferable prick had some shitty art to show me and we ended up playing some shooting game. I won, obviously. So, what happened with Kankri anyway?”

_He made dinner because apparently he figured out that Cronus can’t cook. It wasn’t bad. They ended up cuddling for pretty much the whole evening afterwards though._

He hoped he didn’t look as bitter as he still felt.

Karkat blinked, sitting up straight. “Wait like straight up cuddling? And my brother didn’t have an aneurysm? Damnit, he’s got it even worse than I thought.”

_Yeah. I talked to Cronus and I think he’s actually going to ask him out, but he might chicken out._

The other groaned. “Fuck. I hope he doesn’t. It would give Kankri something to do other than jam his nose into my business.”

Eridan jumped when a crumpled piece of paper hit him between the eyes, looking at Sollux to see him watching their conversation unfold with a bored expression. It seemed the paper he’d flicked had been Eridan’s note, questioning him about the possible history tutoring.

“I don’t really care either way, but my dad’th probably going to make a big deal about it tho after thchool I gueth. Either here or at thomeone’th houthe.”

_Let’s just do it at my house. My brother will be there but I don’t think he cares. It’ll be easier than figuring out where we can be and how long at the school._

Sollux shrugged again. “What’th your latht clath?”

_Physics with Strider._

There was a little grimace. “He’th the roboticth teacher, I know where it ith. I guess I’ll meet you there.” His voice still seemed fast paced, his fingers fidgeting with a pencil and irritation lacing his voice. Eridan wondered what his deal was.

With a shrill noise, the bell rang. Eridan and Karkat rushed to their first period, which fortunately looked to be a lecture day. Taking notes was easy, though Eridan’s mind still had a tendency to wander. History was interesting enough to keep him focused, however, and the few times he caught himself zoning out it was easy to get back on track. It was still strange to have such a strict schedule of learning in comparison to the self-pacing of homeschooling.

The morning was mostly a blur, and by lunch he was already tired with flecks of paint leaving oddly colored freckles along his arms. Luckily Sollux was talking animatedly to Aradia, though the girl seemed distracted. If there was one upside to being unable to talk, it was that he noticed so much more. Like the fact that she fiddled with a small charm often or chewed the end of her hair, the look in her eyes almost guilty when her boyfriend looked away. Curiosity bloomed, though Eridan ignored it and nibbled on a small bag of chips that Karkat had forcibly shoved into his hands and threatened to force feed him. The aggressive method of caring left him feeling a little warmer, the guilt that had plagued him since yesterday fading slightly.

The second half of the day was more trying to say the least, with Eridan still only barely keeping up with his Calculus class and his other classes draining at his energy. He briefly considered cancelling the tutoring session with Sollux, but he’d already committed his time. Part of him was still surprised when the other showed up, leaning against the wall next to the doorway and tapping his foot impatiently.

“Finally,” he muttered when Eridan stepped out of the classroom, pushing off the wall. “Took you long enough.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, not having the energy to point out that class had ended barely five minutes before. Instead he walked past him, not looking back but expecting him to follow as he started home. He’d warned his brother about the visitor earlier, hoping that Sollux’s heightened irritability didn’t make things harder than they had to be.

Sollux seemed to have a specialty in getting under Eridan’s skin, commenting on everything from the bright violet of Eridan’s scarf to the neighborhood, evidently it was too suburban for a “hipster”, to his brother’s shitty car as they trudged up the driveway. At least he kept his mouth shut when they stepped inside, Cronus sprawled on the couch with a guitar in his lap and a blank music sheet in his hand. He glanced at them, raising an eyebrow at Sollux, but only gave a short wave before marking a few notes on the paper.

Eridan hurried to his room, dropping his stuff on the mattress and plopping down beside it. Sollux dragged his desk chair over and slumped into it, though he still seemed tense. There was a sense of unpredictability to the hyperactive energy that left Eridan wary as the Captor pulled out his history notes.

The handwriting here was atrocious, Eridan’s eyes narrowing as he studied the letters. Eventually he deciphered it, addressing the points he struggled on with acronyms and pictures to encourage his memory, as well as explaining some of the events more clearly. There was a little trouble with writing it all out, mainly Sollux getting irritated at the time it took and snapping out harsh comments as a result.

Eridan was proud of himself for handling the comments, at least for the first hour.

Sollux had flopped down on the bed, staring at the things around Eridan’s room. “Tho why’d you move here anyway?”

_None of your business_.

“Hmph. Aren’t you an Ampora? Like, AmporaCorp Ampora?”

_What does it matter?_

“Eh, doethn’t really. Jutht weird to have thome rich brat move out from the thity. What, were you thuch an inthufferable prick they kicked you out?”

Something in Eridan froze at that, his body tensing. On a logical level, he knew the other was trying to get a response, that he didn’t know and was just spouting shit without thinking. After all Captor wasn’t well known for his filter, nor his tact.

But that didn’t stop the thoughts swelling and swirling in his mind, reminding him that that was exactly what happened. He remembered his father’s lack of emotion as he signed the guardianship papers, the complete ignorance of Eridan’s goodbye, the knowledge that as much as he tried…he wasn’t wanted. And if his own father didn’t want him…

The dam burst into a mess of shaking hands and quickened breaths as a sob hitched in his throat. He tried desperately to shove it down, not wanting to give Sollux more to mock him with, but as soon as the strangled noise escaped him the other sat up and stared at him.

“Ampora? What the- fuck what’th- “He seemed confused, halfway reaching out to the other. Eridan yanked away from the movement, squeezing his eyes shut as another gasped sob ripped from him, this one followed by the sound of a door slamming open.

Eridan’s eyes snapped open, staring as his brother stood in the doorway. His eyes moved from Eridan’s tear stained face to narrow at Sollux with a cold rage that was frighteningly familiar. In a split second a hand had fisted in the back of Sollux’s hoodie, the other grabbing his backpack as the teen was led forcefully out of the room. There was the sound of a distant door slamming, footsteps hurrying back to his room after. The anger still lined Cronus’s face and though Eridan knew it wasn’t directed towards him the resemblance to a much more familiar face was enough to have Eridan cowering against the wall. Instantly, his brothers face softened and he pulled him into a comforting hug. Everything he’d been holding back flooded out, leaving him trembling and sobbing against the other as he battled his own mind.

When he finally took a deep, shuddering breath and pulled away his head was throbbing and Cronus looked a little relieved. He felt a punch of guilt, shrinking in on himself a bit.

“Are you feelin better, Eri?” was quietly asked, answered with a nod. “…What happened?”

Eridan chewed his lip. ‘ _Just some dumb comment. I overreacted._ ’

“Eridan it’s not an overreaction if it sets you off. It’s him being an asshole.”

‘ _He didn’t know. I’ll just…explain tomorrow. He’s still my math tutor after all._ ’

“Fuck that.”

Eridan gave him a look and Cronus sighed. “Fine fine, it’s your call. But if he starts pulling shit tell me.”

There was a long silence before Eridan let himself relax. ‘ _Thanks, Cro._ ’

The elder grinned, though his eyes were still wary. “What are big brothers for? Tell you what, let’s go out to eat tonight, get this mess of your mind for a bit.”

Eridan appreciated his brothers attempt to help and although he wasn’t hungry, he let himself smile.

‘ _Sounds great._ ’


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOSH GUYS!! 100 KUDOS!!  
> Thank you all so much this is the reason I write. Also two chapters in a week? I know right? But your comments just made me want to write so bad I couldn't help it!

The restaurant had been nice, giving Eridan a chance to breathe and forget for a few moments what had happened. Cronus only mentioned it a handful of times, more of wanting to make sure he was okay than anything else. Of course, the younger smiled and nodded, though he knew it was a lie and somehow, he thought Cronus knew that too.

The breakdown was evidence enough that he very much wasn’t okay, or at the very least he was less okay than he let on. It seemed to press a sudden concern into his brother’s mind. Cronus refused to let him escape to his room once they were home again, asking occasional questions and mostly rambling. It was a while before he slowed down, sighing, and ruffling his brother’s hair.

“Look, Eridan. I know you said it was just a dumb comment, I know it’s gotta be more than that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that bad, so I highly doubt it was something that simple.”

Eridan sighed, crossing his arms for a moment. There was a reason his brother had never seen him during a major attack, a reason almost no one had. The words ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’ flashed across his mind, hissed by a cold voice he wished he could forget.

“And not to mention you looked…” he paused. “Nevermind.”

There was a deep frown to accompany the signing. ‘ _No. What were you going to say. I looked what?_ ’

Cronus let out a short huff and kept his gaze firmly on the grain of the hardwood floors. “You looked scared, or more like…” his voice quieted slightly “…scared of _me_. And I know it was an attack and all but…”

Eridan grimaced and straightened, flicking Cronus’s shoulder. ‘ _I was panicking. It’s nothing you did._ ’ At least nothing he could control. He couldn’t help his appearance, and Eridan wasn’t about to admit to his brother how much the resemblance scared him. The fear was ridiculous anyway. He knew Cronus wasn’t going to hurt him, and causing the other guilt wouldn’t help either of them. So, he waved the concern off.

‘ _I wasn’t scared of you I was just freaking out. It happens._ ’

The elder sighed and nodded, leaning back. “I know I know. …what did he say anyway?”

Eridan frowned. ‘ _Nothing important. He just makes snide comments a lot and they kinda started getting to me._ ’

“Why the fuck would he do that? I mean it’s not like you’re- “he cut off with a guilty look.

‘ _What? A normal kid who can deal with that kind of shit? I mean obviously, there’s the mute thing, but that doesn’t automatically tell someone I can flip out at a moment’s notice._ ’

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. And yeah, he didn’t know but that’s even more reason why he should have just kept his mouth shut. Just don’t let him push you around anymore okay? If he keeps it up talk to your teacher about switching tutors or better yet tell the principle you’re getting harassed.”

Eridan rolled his eyes. ‘ _He was being an ass. I doubt that counts as harassment._ ’

“If he keeps it up after what happened I sure would.”

There was another long silence before Eridan finally stood and announced he was going to bed, disappearing into his room. He knew Cronus meant well, but he didn’t feel like causing more trouble than he already had. There was already a voice in the back of his head wondering if he’d get in trouble for Cronus quite literally throwing Sollux out like that, he couldn’t imagine Mr. Captor would be okay with that.

He forced himself to take a deep breath and get some sleep, hoping he felt better in the morning.

In some ways, he did. His stomach no longer hurt, but the thoughts still whispered at the back of his mind as he got ready for the day. Realizing he’d most likely have to face Sollux as soon as he got to school didn’t help the situation, but he put on a smile for Cronus and insisted for the dozenth time he was fine as his brother took him to school.

The smile slipped from his face as he stepped through the doors, replaced with apprehension. He slumped into the library, sitting at the same table. It didn’t look like Sollux was here yet, letting Eridan relax slightly and pull out the math they’d been working on the morning before. The peace couldn’t last long of course, and his stomach dropped when someone pulled the chair across from him out and plopped down.

His hand tightened on his pencil, but he didn’t look up yet. He didn’t really want to even though he knew he couldn’t avoid that interaction forever.

There was the sound of a throat clearing, followed by fingers tapping against the wood. “Hey, uh…ED?”

Eridan tensed at the voice, though it sounded more nervous than angry. He finally looked up to see Sollux fidgeting across from him, glancing around. He hoped he didn’t look as terrified as he felt.

“Look, about yethterday…”

He held up a hand before scrawling quickly on some scratch paper.

_It’s fine. I’m sorry about my brother he’s overprotective-_

Freezing as the other grabbed his hand, he tensed and stared at him with wide eyes. Sollux cursed quietly and let go, evidently having read as Eridan was writing.

“Let me finish. And it’th not okay. That wath…It wath a panic attack, right?”

After a moment, Eridan nodded and fiddled with his pencil.

Sollux sighed and pushed his glasses into his hair to rub his eyes, which were the same mismatched colors as his father. Eridan caught himself staring and lowered his eyes quickly back to the table.

“Shit. Okay I know I’m an athhole but I had _no_ idea. I wath trying to pith you off, not thend you into…that. Tho…thorry. I…uh…gueth your family’th a thore thubject, huh?”

Eridan flinched a little, hearing a lisped curse.

“Thee what I mean? I’m jutht an ath. If I’m crothing a line you jutht have to tell me. That’th what Karkat doeth anyway. And don’t apologithe for your brother, if thomeone made MT cry I’d beat the shit out of them.”

The confusion must have shown on Eridan’s face, because Sollux answered the unasked question.

“Mituna. He’th my older brother and … he getth attackth too. If I’d known, well I won’t thay I would’ve been nithe to you becauthe that’th a lie but I’d have been a little more careful at the very least.”

There was a tense silence between them as Sollux waited for Eridan to reply. He took his time with it, taking in the information. He could see that Sollux felt bad about it, but he wasn’t sure how long this semi-kindness would last. He’d come to expect shitty treatment from the Captor at this point and that expectation wasn’t likely to change soon.

_It’s fine. Like you said you didn’t know and it’s not like I go announcing to everyone that I can flip out at a moments notice. And I get if you don’t want to continue tutoring, but if you do I think it’s pretty obvious that we can’t go back to my house. Cronus probably wouldn’t let you past the front door._

“No no I get that. Thame with my family. Anyone metheth with Mituna and they’re never coming around again.” He glanced away. “And my dad knowth zilch about what happened, tho we’re kinda thtuck with the tutoring thing. Er… I gueth my plathe ith alwayth open. My parent’th will be there. MT too.”

Eridan nodded a little. _That’s fine. I mean we were makin great progress before…that all happened._

Sollux returned the nod, looking significantly more relaxed though he jumped when Karkat slammed down beside him. “What crawled up your ath, KK?”

“Nothing is in my ass, dickhat, but if my brother doesn’t get off of it I’m going to lose my mind,” he groaned, slamming his head into both hands. “He was distracted enough last night to leave me the fuck alone but could that grace extend to this morning? No! I get a fucking lecture about ‘not achieving my potential’ and all that bullshit, like he’s doing so well himself. He’s the with a college degree that’s doing jack shit for him, but I’m the irresponsible one. But I can’t say that because then he’d cry or something and I’d be an even bigger asshole!” The rant left the teen breathing hard, glaring at the table.

“I didn’t think it wath pothible to dithtract the Insufferable from nagging.”

“Something went down yesterday and I’m pretty sure it was your brother on the phone with Kankri all night ranting about something.” He looked pointedly at Eridan, who shared a glance with Sollux. “I don’t really care what happened honestly. It kept him off my back so I’ll be grateful.”

Eridan shrugged, shoving his books into his bag. The bell was as shrill as the first day, still making Eridan tense as it went off and hurry toward the stairs. Once he took his seat in his first class, he got a tap on his shoulder. He turned to face Karkat, raising an eyebrow.

“Alright so I didn’t bring it up in front of Captor because fuck him, he’s an asshole, but did something happen? I don’t know what your brother was going off about but he was loud as hell.”

Eridan glanced down, biting his lip. Sollux was Karkat’s friend, right? He didn’t want to cause any arguments between people who’d known each other long before he’d arrived.

Karkat patted his shoulder, concern furrowing his brow. “I mean obviously I’m not going to make you tell me. I just was asking to be sure you’re okay.”

_It was nothing really, I think he’s just stressed._

There was a sigh from the other teen but he nodded and seemed to accept the answer.

The class passed fairly quickly, with little conversation as Eridan walked to art. Ms. Calliope greeted him with the usual smile, though Mr. Makara was leaning against her desk and talking to her quite seriously about something. He thought he heard the word ‘twin’ but honestly he was a little terrified of the man so he hurried to his desk. Nepeta greeted him with a smile, but thankfully didn’t speak to him too much as he painted. His canvas was covered in the scene of an ocean storm contrasted with the calm of the sea beneath the roiling waves. He was proud of it.

Time seemed to slow between his swimming and speech class. He was getting very tired of Serket’s remarks and the way she flipped her dyed blue hair while drawing out almost every vowel. He’d never wanted to shove someone into the pool so badly before.

Speech was a joke, and he was sure everyone in that class knew it, so he paid little attention. Lunch couldn’t come soon enough and maybe today he could actually get in line to get his own food.

When he stood from the table to accompany Karkat the other looked surprised, but grinned a little at him. Eridan stuck close to him, grabbing a slightly smushed burger and fries and biting his lip as his fished a couple dollars from his pocket and dropped them in a nice ladys hand.

Once he stepped away from the register, he felt a grin stretch across his face. Should he really be this proud of going through a lunch line? It didn’t matter, because the grin wasn’t leaving his face anytime soon. Karkat glanced at him, but instead of judging him he offered a grin and a pat on the back. Sollux was sitting at the table when he got back, making a small comment but Eridan was happy about that. The other was annoying, but the bickering had become normal and as long as he kept himself under control Eridan didn’t mind the occasional snide comment.

The energy wasn’t there today, or at least it seemed dulled down, with the fidgeting from this morning seeming to have been due to nerves.

When lunch ended, Eridan felt a little nervous. He stepped into Mr. Captor’s class, wondering if Sollux had been telling the truth when he said he didn’t know about the incident. Judging by the usual curt greeting he hadn’t been lying after all.

As the rest of the day passed, Eridan couldn’t help the nerves that were building. Not only was he going to the house of his semi-rival, but also the home of the teacher whose son had been forcibly removed from his house.

Like the day before, Sollux was outside Mr. Strider’s classroom with a bored expression. He seemed as awkward as he had that morning, keeping quiet as they walked a few blocks from the school. Outside the front door of a nice, squat little house, Sollux paused. “Dad’ll be home later, but he knowth you’re over. Mituna…he’th a little loud but don’t let him bother you.”

As he opened the door, a blur of yellow rushed the two and tackled Sollux back out the door. Sitting on the others chest was a boy about the same height as Sollux with similarly dirty blonde hair that poofed around his head like a dandelion. “THOLLUXTH!” he screeched, arms latching around the others neck in a hug. “HELP! DADTH TRYING TO MAKE ME DO THTUPID FUCKING HOMEWORK!”

A voice from the front hallway rang out with a scolding tone. “Mituna! Language! Now you’ve got to put a dollar in the swear jar.”

“The thwear jar is thtupid,” Mituna huffed, still sitting on Sollux, and crossing his arms before finally noticing Eridan. He jumped off of his brother and stood in front of Eridan, not seeming to have much concept of personal space. There was a moment of Mituna looking between Sollux and him before he settled his gaze on Eridan. At least, he assumed he did, given that he couldn’t see his eyes through the mop of hair. After a long moment, Mituna looked at his brother again. “Ith he your boyfriend?”

Eridan felt his face turn entirely red, all the way up to his ears and down his neck. He really wished he could talk, to do more than stand and blush as Sollux did the same.

“What the- he’th not my fucking boyfriend! I’m tutoring him! And I’m dating AA, you’ve met her!” Sollux sputtered, scrambling to his feet.

Mituna stuck out his tongue at Sollux before grinning mischievously and crowing, “THOLLUXTH HATH TO PUT A DOLLAR IN THE THWEAR JAR!” as he ran back inside.

Sollux covered his face with his hand for a moment, taking a deep breath and looking at Eridan. “Jutht… ignore him. That’th all you can do.”

Someone stepped out onto the porch, sighing heavily and holding a jar half full of dollar bills. He was tanner than the boys, with his eyes bright blue and standing out against his skin and chocolate hair. He shook the jar a bit, grinning. “He’s right, Lux.”

Sollux groaned and shoved a dollar in the jar before disappearing into the house. The man glanced at Eridan and offered a grin along with an outstretched hand.

“Afternoon, sorry about all that. Mituna is a bit excitable. But he’s a sweetheart, both of the boys are really. I’m Simon.”

Eridan chewed his lip, but shook the others hand. He was pulling out a notebook to introduce himself when Sollux poked his head out.

“Geeth, dad, let the guy be. Hith name ith Eridan, he can’t talk and I’m tutoring him for Dad. Now that introductionth are out of the way can we go upthtairth and get thith over with?”

Simon rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He glanced at Eridan. “But if it ends up taking a while I’m sure my husband wouldn’t have a problem with you staying for dinner so feel free. I won’t promise it’ll be amazing, but you’re welcome to it.”

Eridan gave him a smile and a nod, following Sollux into the house. It was a little cluttered, with video games and movies covering the living room, books lining shelves along every hallway and computer wires covering several desks. It was busy and cozy, most of the walls a pale yellow that made Eridan smile. He decided very quickly that he liked this place, following Sollux to a room massed with clothes, wires, and various other junk. The other flopped onto the bed and Eridan perched on the side, pulling out the history textbook and flipping to where they’d left off.

It was somewhat easier to study here than in his own room, though he wasn’t sure why. Sollux seemed to be making progress, which was the point of all this. At a few points they got distracted and Sollux rambled on one point or another. The jabs hadn’t stopped, but they were less personal and Eridan was learning to jab right back which seemed to amuse them both.

The sound of a knock made them both jump, Sollux opening the door to see Simon. “Dinners ready, you two. Are you staying to eat, Eridan?”

Eridan glanced at Sollux, but nodded with a little smile. There was a warmth in his chest at the welcoming attitude this family seemed to have, even when Sollux was making comments across the table or Mituna was declaring that he was a nerd. Mr. Captor, who Eridan had learned was named Phillip, seemed a lot more relaxed outside of the classroom. Dinner was spaghetti, which was nothing fancy but homemade and nice to have. He waved off Simon’s offer to drive him home and offered a goodbye to the family before he began his walk home.

Cronus was a little worried when he arrived, nervous about him still being tutored by Sollux. Eridan tried to change the subject by asking about Kankri, at which point Cronus got a little red in the face and admitted he was thinking about taking him to dinner at some point.

‘ _How about tomorrow? Put those teaching skills of his to the test and make him something. I’ll keep out of your way._ ’

“Come on, Eri. I’m not gonna kick you out so I can get a date.”

‘ _You’re not kicking me out. I’ll hang out with Karkat or something._ ’

Cronus grimaced and glanced nervously around. “Fine fine. I’ll think about it. Okay?”

Eridan nodded, smiling encouragingly at him. When he disappearing into his room that night, he found himself feeling the most content he’d felt since he’d arrived.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore writing this so much! Sorry this one took a little more than a week, life's been well life. Thank you to everyone who's left Kudos and Comments and I would love to continue to read your thoughts on this work!

When Eridan woke the next morning, it only took a few minutes for the grin to spread on his face. There was a fluttering warmth seated deep in his chest, melting the cold that had choked him for the days before, and there was plenty of reason for it to be there. Sollux seemed more aware of the things he said, his brother seemed to be moving forward into a happy relationship and, arguably best of all, it was Friday. When he’d been homeschooled, the joy of the weekend didn’t mean much to him. More often than not, he was doing schoolwork anyway to offset the boredom and crushing loneliness of the Ampora manor. Now that he was attending an actual school, the drain of being around people was more than enough reason to be ecstatic for some free time.

Still, leaving bed was the hardest part of any morning. Eridan ducked his head under the blankets and wrapped them around himself until no part of him was visible, unable to fall back asleep but flat out refusing to budge until he heard Cronus calling him from the kitchen. There was a sweet, doughy smell in the air leading to the kitchen, though the confusion was quickly dashed when Eridan came face to face with a stack of slightly burnt pancakes.

He raised an eyebrow and Cronus glanced away sheepishly. “What? There ain’t a point in learnin how to cook if I’m not gonna use it. And besides, I need some practice, don’t I? I don’t wanna fuck up if I make somethin for him- I mean I just don’t want lessons going to waste ya know?” Red suffused his face, making his extremely light freckles and the scars on his forehead stand out against it.

With a snort and rolled eyes, Eridan put a few pancakes on a plate with a pool of syrup and curled up on the couch. Cronus seemed to be a bit busier this morning, taking his plate to his room, but Eridan didn’t mind much. For once his mood was up and he wasn’t about to jeopardize that by worrying about being left on his own in the living room. Plus, he got control of the remote for once and could change it to the History channel. Sure, it was just a show about aliens maybe possibly visiting Earth but it was more interesting than the shit Cronus watched, that was for sure.

The morning flew with the energy buzzing through him as he darted out the door in time to catch Karkat and Dave. The latter gave him a small nod, but was much more interested in bothering Karkat. Eridan noticed the way the enraged screeches seemed more like annoyed whines, but chalked it up to the fact that it was morning. The Vantas seemed calmer than he had the day before, at the very least he wasn’t complaining about Kankri as much.

Eridan frowned slightly as they neared the school, looking up at the building with none of the apprehension that had plagued him since he’d arrived. Perhaps he’d finally gotten over it, but a small part of him knew it was only a matter of time before the feeling tore into him once more. This was just a good day, and though Eridan wanted desperately to enjoy it he knew it couldn’t last for long.

The hallways were littered with students, a few of which Eridan recognized from his classes and the others a series of blank faces he forgot as soon as they passed. The amount of people was unnerving, as it always was, and Eridan found himself hunching his shoulders and stepping closer to Karkat. A cold voice hissed in the back of his mind that he was being silly and pathetic, that he should stand tall and act like more than the spineless worm he was. The voice was all too familiar, deep and gruff and occasionally slurred from one too many trips to the Scotch cabinet, echoing through the too large rooms and chasing him to his room to cower until exhaustion dragged him to sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut and shoved the voice away with everything he had. Today was going to be fine. He needed a good day. He deserved it. Didn’t he?

Of course, walking with one’s eyes closed never helped with finding a clear path and for the second time that week he felt the solid, soft mass of another human colliding with him before he stumbled back. Only this time he didn’t feel the unforgivingly cold tile sting his hands and rear, but instead a pair of hands grasping at him and pulling him upright. One wrapped around his wrist, the fingers easily closing around his wrist with room to spare, and the other caught his waist. That one ended up with the entire arm snaking around him, pulling him against an equally bony chest. Warmth flooded him, as well as a vaguely sweet scent that perplexed him. It was a mix of fizzy drinks, caffeine, and…was that honey? He scrunched up his nose at the slight body odor lingering on the cotton of the others shirt and opened his eyes to find himself lost in a sea of blue and brown, red and blue lenses having slipped to hang precariously on the narrow tip of the others nose.

As soon as he realized the position he was in, with his hands trapped against Sollux’s chest with one arm still fully around him, he shoved backwards and moved a fair distance away. Sollux quickly cleared his throat and pushed his glasses back into place.

“I know I’m irrethithtible and all but theriouthly, ED. I have a girlfriend.” He grinned smugly as Eridan gaped and gave him a very recognizable hand sign. Seriously, fuck him and his stupid lisp and his smirk and his crooked teeth, goddamn that boy needs braces. Irritated beyond belief, Eridan shoved past him and sat at their table with a huff. Karkat was glancing between them, but wisely kept his mouth shut for once.

Sollux snickered as he sat across from him, though he groaned when Eridan dropped his notebooks on the table. “Ugh it’th Friday. Do we have to?”

Eridan didn’t really need sign language to express himself at this point, instead relying on the patented Ampora glare that had become useful for his father in business ventures. A few moments later, the Captor sighed and fished out his own notes.

“Fine fine. Geeth, I would have thought you’d love a break.”

_I just want to pass this class_.

Sollux snorted, but picked up where they had left off. It wasn’t the most productive study session, given that Karkat was sitting there and was evidently unable to stay quiet for longer than a few minutes at a time. Eridan really didn’t mind though. Sollux had been right, a break would have been appreciated but he was trying to be a responsible student. That wasn’t really working out for him.

It was nice for a while, before two boys appeared on either side of Karkat. Dave was easily recognizable in his ‘ironic’ shades and though Eridan was sure he’d met the other before he couldn’t seem to come up with a name. He knew he recognized the blue eyes and buck teeth though. Either way, they seemed to enjoy messing with Karkat between Dave’s vaguely flirty rambling and the other’s bright comments that seemed perfectly tailored to get under Karkat’s skin. It wasn’t long before his retorts devolved mostly into enraged screeches.

The noise was cut short when a perfectly manicured hand landed on his shoulder. “Really, Karkat, you’re in a library.”

He glanced up at Kanaya, her jade lips curved into a smile as Rose took a seat beside Dave. “Honestly, David, Johnathan, it’s far too early for this.”

Dave whipped around to look at her, slipping his glasses to the end of his nose to look her in the eyes. Eridan blinked as he caught sight of the bright red, wincing slightly at the color. “Dude. No. It’s Dave. Just Dave.”

She smirked a bit, resting her chin daintily on her hand. “Your birth certificate begs to differ, David.”

“Well now the pot’s callin the kettle black, _Rosanne_.”

She grimaced, sitting up a little but before she could reply Kanaya sat beside her and placed her hand over the others.

Eridan sighed and put his notebook up, the study session having long since fallen apart. Sollux was rolling his eyes, leaning his chair onto the back legs and staring at the ceiling.

Of course, when the bell rang Sollux jumped and his hand slipped off the table, sending him teetering backwards. Eridan jumped up, grabbing his wrist. The other grabbed his arm in return, pulling the chair upright but holding on for a moment as adrenaline rose and faded. As soon as he was sure the chair was stable, Sollux yanked his hand away as though Eridan’s skin was coated in acid. Eridan made a face at him, flicking a paper at him before Karkat dragged him from the library.

_Guess we’re even._

The Vantas was a little interested in the bickering, but backed off quickly enough when Eridan shot him a look. The subject changed to the History project Mr. English had been hinting at for the past couple of days, which may or may not be a group effort. Eridan wasn’t too worried, assuming if worst came to worst he’d ask to work on his own.

It wasn’t long into class when he handed out the rubrics for the project. It was a simple research presentation, nothing Eridan would have trouble with. While Karkat was right in guessing it’d be a group project, Mr. English had paired the two of them which made things easier for both of them. Now all they had to do was pick a topic.

The remainder of the class was spent dividing the work between the two of them, with Eridan more than happy to take the presentation portion. He was sure he could make something great.

It was strange to have the fluttering warmth still in his chest as he stepped into Ms. Callie’s room, the grin refusing to leave his face. He wasn’t used to going this long being happy, usually something would have ruined it by now.

Even stranger was the lack of smile on Nepeta’s face. She jabbed at her painting viciously, her mouth twisted into a frown and her olive eyes narrowed in frustration he couldn’t help but think wasn’t aimed at the painting. After a few moments, he scrawled a quick note on his sketchbook and slid it across the table until it bumped her elbow. She jumped and glanced at the page.

_You alright, Nep?_

Her brow unfurrowed slightly and her scowl seemed to soften. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just _fur_ ustrated.”

‘ _What’s the matter?_ ’

It took her a long moment to answer, sighing deeply. “It’s nothing really. Just my best _fur_ end acting all weird. He said he’s working on a hist _purr_ y _purr_ oject, but it just feels like he’s avoiding me. And when we do talk he’s all nervous and dodgy.” She huffed and swiped her brush across her canvas again. “I think he’s hiding something, but I just wish he would tell me.”

Eridan didn’t know what to tell her. This was the first time he’d had a substantial amount of social interaction aside from Feferi. He didn’t know how to deal with relationships or drama, he was doing well enough to keep himself afloat.

She glanced at him and cursed under her breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to dump that on you. Usually I tell him this kind of stuff.”

‘ _Well I hope it all works out._ ’

“Me too… Thank _mew fur_ listening.”

The air seemed a bit more relaxed after that, and both teens worked on their projects in near silence before the bell rang. Eridan’s would probably be done within the next couple of days, and Nep’s was almost done as it was.

Once art class was over, Eridan crept into the pool area, not seeing any sign of Vriska. He relaxed slightly and dove into the pool. He felt more comfortable in the water, especially in those first few moments underwater. It was quiet and cool, a comfortable separation from the world. He pushed through the water, breaking the surface to catch a breath before letting muscle memory take over. He could relax like this, focusing on steady breathing and letting everything else disappear until he reached the wall. It was simple to flip, turn and push off, moving back through the water. He popped out of the water at the other side, leaning against the wall and catching his breath.

Glancing up, he caught sight of a flash of blue jumping into the water. He grimaced, ducking to avoid the splash. She didn’t pay him much attention while they were doing laps, though when he was pulling himself from the pool he felt someone grab ahold of his shoulder and use it to push themselves out of the water. Eridan slipped off the edge and back into the water, breaking the surface to glare at the Serket who was walking away from the pool.

She glanced back with a little smirk and flipped her hair as she slipped into the locker room. Eridan let out a small huff and got dressed before hurrying to speech class.

By the time he got to lunch, his dampened mood had improved once more (no pun intended). He waited until Karkat got his lunch to tag along, offering a smile to the lunch lady as he punched in his student ID. Two days in a row!

Sollux was halfway through his own lunch when Eridan sat down, glancing at him for a second before swallowing his bite of sandwich. “Incoming.”

Eridan gave him a bewildered look and glanced behind him in time to see Jade before she hugged him. It only lasted a second, but the warning was more than appreciated. Behind her, John, Rose, and Dave were trailing, the first arguing with Dave about some actor.

Jade plopped into the seat beside him with a buck toothed grin, pulled a Squiddles lunchbox from her bag, and turned to face Eridan. “So, are you coming tonight?”

He grimaced slightly, knowing she was talking about the movie night he’d been invited too. Given that they were lab partners, they’d ‘talked’ quite a bit over the past week and she was a pretty cool girl, but he didn’t know how he felt about social interaction when not absolutely necessary.

Catching the look, she frowned as well. “You don’t have to. But if it makes you feel better, Karkat will be there! He always shows up to grump about our movie choices. Oh, and if you do come, you can bring any movie you want. We marathon them until we crash, or until someone has to go home. There’ll be popcorn and candy. It’s a fun time.”

He glanced at Karkat, who shrugged. “Yeah. They have shit taste and in no way appreciate the genius that’s in my picks, but hey if you come there’ll be a little help against the dumbassery.”

Jade huffed and shoved his shoulder. “Our movies are just fine, Karkat. You’re just picky.”

“I’m not picky because I have fucking standard, Harley.”

John leaned across the table. “Careful, Karkat. If you keep shitting on his movies Dave’s gonna leave you.”

Karkat’s face reddened and he slammed his milk down hard enough to crush it, sending milk across the table. Eridan snatched up his sketchbook to avoid the mess.

“I AM NOT DATING STRIDER, YOU IGNORANT BALL FONDLING SACK OF FLAMING HORSE SHIT.”

The entire table was quiet for a moment before bursting into laughter as Karkat flicked them off individually. That is, until a teacher asked them to ‘keep their voices down’, though she looked pointedly at Karkat.

The Vantas looked at Eridan. “Fuck that, please come. If I have to handle another night of their shit on my own then I am not liable for what happens.”

Eridan gave an airy laugh and nodded. _I’ll meet you after school. We can stop by my house._

“Sure. And I never end up staying the night so if you want to crash at my place afterwards feel free.”

When lunch ended, Eridan felt more excited than he had in a while. Although he was still nervous, it felt nice to be invited to join something that was clearly for their friend group. It made him feel included, which was a welcome change.

Mr. Captor glanced up as he walked in, stopping him by the door for a moment. “Simon told me to say hello to you today and to let you know that you’re welcome for dinner any time,” he said quietly, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Eridan smiled back and took his seat, almost unable to pay attention but proud of being able to follow along on the majority of the subject. Perhaps it was excitement, but the class seemed to pass faster than usual, as did his final two classes.

As he stepped out of Physics, he almost ran into Sollux for the second time that day. With a raised eyebrow, he tilted his head in confusion. Sollux knew he was meeting Karkat today, right? He’d been sitting right across from them.

Sollux luckily caught the confusion and rolled his eyes. “It’th Friday. I have roboticth club today.”

Before Eridan could give any sort of response, he noticed more people coming down the hall. He easily recognized the tall form of Equius, but the girl beside him remained a mystery until she brushed some of her poofy hair behind her ear. Aradia?

Sollux caught his gaze and glanced behind them, his own eyebrow raising at the pair. “AA?”

She startled and glanced at Sollux, breaking away from the sweaty boy to give him a hug. “Hey, Sollux. This is Equius, he’s my partner for the History project due next week. We ran into each other in the hall and just started talking about the project more.”

Sollux’s shoulders relaxed a bit and he grinned. “No big deal. Hey, do you want to come over later? It’th my dadth date night and Tuna’th going out with hith girlfriend. We could watch a movie or thomething.”

Her smile seemed a little strained, but Sollux didn’t seem to notice. “Sure.”

Eridan took the opportunity to slip away, not mentioning the situation to Karkat as they met up. He was probably imagining things anyway. Probably.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow another chapter already? Who woulda thought?  
> I'm on a roll with these mostly because I know what I want to happen and that makes me want to write it, as well as all the wonderful comments I get. I just love writing in general and I hope you all enjoy!

Cronus was out when Karkat and Eridan got to the house, which threw the Ampora off for a moment. He was so used to his brother being there that it seemed strange for him to suddenly be gone. Eridan shoved his key back into his pocket and dropped his bag on his bed, shoving a change of clothes into it and grabbing a movie from the living room. There was only a moment’s hesitation before he grabbed it, but it was one of his favorite films.

Karkat had darted across the street to his own house to grab his movie choice, meeting Eridan on the sidewalk afterwards. He seemed eager to get there, no matter how cranky he’d seemed about the whole thing at lunch. The scratchy voice chattered on, complaining about the others movie choices and warning Eridan about the shitty movies he was likely to see. Of course, Dave’s house was only a block away, so it wasn’t long until they walked into the house.

The Strider was laying upside down on the couch, his head hanging off the seat and his arms crossed as he stared at the screen. Somehow his sunglasses stayed perfectly in place, his hair only flipping down slightly. He glanced toward the door and nodded slightly at them before looking back at the screen, which had some colorful cartoon playing.

The smell of popcorn filled the house, with John running out of the kitchen with a giant bowl of it. A bowl of candy sat in Jade’s arms as she followed him out, grinning at the newcomers.

“Eridan! Karkat! Great everyone’s here!”

Rose set a bottle of sparkling cider on the coffee table and plucked the movies from their hands. “Thank you for coming, Eridan. It’s wonderful to have you join us. Karkat, a pleasure as always.”

Karkat rolled his eyes, sitting beside Dave, and attempting to knock his glasses off his face. That led to Dave’s sneaker being pressed against Karkat’s cheek and the latter screeching wordlessly while trying to return the favor.

Rose placed her hand over her face for several moments, silently screaming into the void to regain her composure while Jade grabbed Dave’s feet and pushed them forward. He rolled with it and ended up standing. “Aw come on, Harley.”

Jade put on a ‘serious face’ and placed her hands on her hips. “Don’t ‘come on, Harley’ me, mister. We’re here to have fun and no one is going to have fun over Karkat’s screaming.”

A smirk lit Dave’s face. “I was having fun.”

She rolled her eyes. “Dave! You know what I mean.”

Eridan settled on the couch, looking around before hesitantly grabbing a piece of popcorn. His shoulders tensed and he half expected someone to stop him but they all kept up their own conversations. Rose finally recovered from her void scream, nudging everyone to a seat and dropping all the movie cases into an oversized top hat. She held it out to John, keeping the rim above eye level.

“We usually watch all the movies, but this is how we pick what to watch first. You can pick the next one,” she explained as John fished around in the hat. He pulled out a case and read the cover with a loud groan. “Zootopia. Really, Jade?”

The green-eyed girl rolled her eyes. “And who says it was me?”        

All eyes turned towards her, only Eridan’s eyebrows remaining unraised. She flushed and flapped her hands at them. “I like it because it’s cute, and also shut up.”

Rose placed the disk into the player before sitting in a cozy looking armchair. “Rules are rules, John. The movie is starting.”

Back home, Eridan hadn’t been able to watch movies as they came out unless Fef dragged him to the theater. He certainly didn’t watch movies curled up and surrounded by people who _wanted_ him there. The tension was lessening with each kernel of popcorn he took without incident and he relaxed a little against the cushions. Halfway through the movie he reached out to pour a cup of sparkling cider, his hand meeting fingers already grasping the bottle. His head snapped up, his eyes staring into shades as he immediately hunched in on himself. He signed an apology and shoved his hands into his lap, keeping his eyes on the screen and his head as down as he could.

The insecurity was quick to return, taunting him and prodding at him until his head began to hurt under the pressure of it all. He felt a little nudge, flinching, and looking to see Dave gone a full cup of sparkling cider pushed to the side of the table closest to Eridan. He smiled slightly, though his head still hurt. Trying not to bother anyone, he slunk off the couch and searched for a bathroom, trying to find some medicine. He found what he thought was the bathroom, opening the door to find Dave leaning against the sink with something in his hand and a bright red dot against a finger.

They both froze before Eridan began signing frantic apologizing and taking a step back. Dave raised his hands quickly, taking a moment to set the small block down. “It’s fine, I shoulda locked the door. Did you need something?”

After a brief moment, his put his hand to his temple. Dave nodded a little and handed him a couple of pills, setting the bottle beside a small bottle on the vanity. There was a tense silence as he took them. “Well… sorry about that I guess. It’s not really that big a deal but… it’s just something I have to do before I eat. Would you mind not mentioning it to anyone? They know but it’s…”

Eridan nodded, patting his arm.

For the tiniest of moments, a smile twitched the Strider’s lips. “Thanks.”

Karkat glanced at him when Eridan sat back down, but didn’t say anything as the movie went on. When it was over, Jade jumped up to put it away and hold the hat in front of Eridan. Part of him wanted to insist they let someone else pick, that somehow, he’d manage to mess it up. He reached a hand up and grabbed the first case he felt, pulling it out. Emblazoned across the front were the words ‘Con Air’, which had everyone except John immediately complaining.

John took the case, frowning at the others. “One, this is a classic. I showed it to all of you, but we have a new friend, and he deserves to watch it too.” He glanced at Eridan. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”

A small head shake was all it took to make John grin and dash to the DVD player to put the disk in place. A collective groan filled the room, but dispersed quickly as the movie started. It wasn’t something Eridan would normally watch, being a bit too gritty for his tastes, but he’d admit it had its good moments. The last scene was particularly nice, making Eridan sniffle slightly while John clutched a box of tissues to his chest. The applause at the end seemed mostly relieved that it was over, but Eridan couldn’t see what was so bad about the movie. Maybe they’d just seen it one too many times.

It was Dave’s turn to pick next, so with a bored look he pulled out a movie. He glanced at the title, an eyebrow raising. “Who put in Harry Potter?”

Eridan felt red paint his cheeks as he timidly raised his hand. Dave glanced between Eridan and the case for a moment before tossing it to Rose to put in. Relief washed through Eridan, a grin finding its way onto his face as the theme began to play. It was beginning to get dark outside, but Eridan had already sent Cronus a text and left a note, so he probably didn’t need to worry about the time. Halfway through the movie the front door opened, but Eridan was too caught up in the movie to look. That is, until a figure suddenly vaulted over the couch and landed squarely in the small area between Eridan and John.

Surprise and panic surged through Eridan, sending him to his feet with enough force that he stumbled. He let himself fall, staring at the figure with wide eyes. The pointed shades were familiar, as well as the spiked blonde hair.

“Oh. Ampora, right? You’re in my last period.”

Eridan shrank back a little, while Dave huffed as he came back into the room with a drink. “Dirk that was my seat.”

“The key word there is ‘was’. Next movie is my pick.”

“Sorry, bro. That’s against the rules.”

“Hey. My house, my rules.”

“You didn’t even buy the house!”

“No, but I’m also the oldest.”

John and Jade were snickering while Karkat rolled his eyes. Rose sighed. “Could we continue this after the movie?”

Eridan focused on the screen once more, still tense and staring at the screen. When it was over, he was caught off guard by a blur of motion and a sudden lack of Mr. Strider or Dave in their seats. The movement stilled with Mr. Strider taking his seat, a smug look on his face and Dave slumping back onto the loveseat and laying himself across Karkat’s lap. There was a small scuffle before the Vantas left things as they were, bright music blaring from the television.

Eridan raised an eyebrow at the pink haired girl who seemed to be the main character as the movie began. By the end, he was crying slightly, but he wanted to watch more of it. Once his movie was over, Mr. Strider disappeared from the living room. Rose chose the next movie, a smirk lifting her lips as she put it in without a word.

It was a black and white film entirely in French, which Eridan knew a bit of but not enough to make any sense of the dialogue. Only Karkat seemed enraptured with the apparent romance, while John fell asleep only ten minutes in. Eridan didn’t blame him though, given that it was beginning to get a bit late. That was probably the reason that Karkat stood and stretched, grabbing his and Eridan’s movies.

“Come on, asshole. You can crash at my place if you want.”

Dave had almost rolled off the couch when Karkat stood, laying back again. “What’s the matter, Kitkat? You don’t want to spend time with your favorite bro?”

Karkat narrowed his eyes and looked at Dave, a scowl settling on his face. “You’re not even my favorite Strider.”

There was a look of mock offense on Dave’s face, but he said nothing as the two said their goodbyes and left. Karkat growled to himself, running his fingers through his hair and muttering about ‘fucking idiotic Striders’. When they arrived at Karkat’s house, it was empty. They looked at each other, then across the street before crashing in Karkat’s room.

Sleeping in was officially the most amazing thing, Eridan concluded as he woke up just before noon. He’d fallen asleep in a pile of blankets they’d stolen from Kankri’s room and the closet, with Karkat still snoring on his bed. Dragging himself from the blankets, he was met in the kitchen by Kankri, who looked much less put together than normal.

The elder Vantas jumped, a curse slipping out under his breath when Eridan came around the corner, almost spilling his coffee. “Sorry, Eridan, you startled me,” he quickly said, leaning against the counter. “Would you like some breakfast? I was trying to decide what to make.”

‘ _I’m not very hungry, but thank you. Maybe when Kar wakes up._ ’

Kankri scoffed a little, rolling his eyes. “Knowing my brother, that won’t be until well in the afternoon. I do hope you two had fun though. It’s nice to see Karkat expanding his friend group a bit, and I’m glad you two seem to get along. It’s not often he has friends over. He gets frustrated with me, but I just worry about him.”

Eridan poured himself a cup of coffee, pausing when he noticed the edge of a bruise peeking out from the collar of Kankri’s sweater. He smirked a bit, setting his coffee on the counter. ‘ _Were you out with friends last night too? You weren’t here when Kar and I showed up._ ’

A blush colored his cheeks and he looked at the coffee in his hand. “Er…not friends per say…your brother invited me for dinner. I’ll admit his skills are improving remarkably. We… spoke for a while afterwards. He was glad you’d made some friends. You seem to be adjusting well, do you like it here?”

The change in subject was less than smooth, but Eridan shrugged. ‘ _It’s nice. And people have been welcoming, it’s just a lot to get used to. Cronus worries too much._ ’

Kankri’s lips pursed, as though he could see right through Eridan’s bullshit, and he probably could. Hopefully he wouldn’t mention anything to Cronus though. They should just be happy.

After a few moments, the silence was broken by Karkat shuffling into the kitchen with a yawn. His hair stuck in every possible direction, though he didn’t seem to care.

“Well this is a surprise. Karkat, up at a decent time?”

Karkat’s only answer was a middle finger over the fridge door as he pulled out the milk.

Kankri sighed and left the kitchen, while Karkat poured a bowl of cereal.

“That’s a first.”

Eridan must have looked as confused as he felt, because Karkat glanced at him and clarified, “He’s usually lecturing me about my ‘vulgar language’. I don’t know what your brother is doing, but tell him to keep it up. It’s making Kankri less insufferable.”

There was a chuckle shared between the two while Karkat ate, dropping the bowl in the dishwasher when he was done. “You want to do something today, or just hang out around here? I mean you could go home, but you don’t have to.”

Eridan thought for a moment, taking a moment to get his bag.

_We could walk around. I haven’t seen much of the town yet._

He nodded and yanked a brush through his hair. “Well then what the fuck are we waiting for. Downtowns pretty close and it’s got the library and a bunch of shops.”

A grin lit Eridan’s face and he threw on the clothes he’d brought, grabbing his sketchbook and a few pens before the two rushed out of the house.

The closer they got to downtown, the more trees appeared and the less houses squished together. There was a large park at the center, with buildings surrounding it. Karkat dragged him to the library, insisting he needed a card. Eridan remembered the massive library back home, where he wasn’t allowed to touch the books, lest he ‘ruin’ them. The only books he could read were the ones he bought, so the thought of picking out new ones had him almost running to the doors.

Shelves stuffed full of books towered over his head, the silence broken by whispered voices and muffled pages. The woman at the front desk looked up from her own book, adjusting the white frames settled on her nose. A friendly smile greeted the teens. “Good morning, Karkat. How can I help you two?”

“Eridan just moved down here, he needs a library card.”

She paused and tilted her head, Eridan tensing as she looked him over. “Eridan…Ampora?”

He gave a little nod, to which she laughed. “My younger sisters mentioned you. I knew your brother in college. I can’t say we were close, but you can tell him Aranea said hello. Now about your card…”

Getting the card only took a few minutes, while browsing the shelves took a few hours. Eridan left the place with a bag of books he was eager to read, listening to Karkat chatter about something as they walked across the park. Apparently, there was an ice cream stand with some pretty strange flavors.

Once the stand came into sight, Eridan stopped and grabbed Karkat’s sleeve. The other jerked to a stop, raising an eyebrow at him until he pointed to the cart itself. Standing at the window, looking over the menu, was Aradia. She was beaming and pointing to several different flavors, obviously having trouble deciding as she spoke to the boy who’s hand she held onto. Only, it wasn’t Sollux laughing and nodding along to whatever she was saying. It wasn’t Sollux who handed her an overloaded cone piled with several different flavored scoops, it was Equius.

Karkat was quiet beside him as the pair went on their way, staying like that for several minutes. Eridan worried a bit, placing a hand on his shoulder and frowning slightly. He hoped he got his concern across, not wanting to write at the moment.

Finally, he looked up, eyes blazing. “That bitch! She’s been with Sollux since middle school what the hell does she- “he cut off with a growl, looking at Eridan as the rage turned to apprehension. “What am I supposed to tell him? I mean, fuck is he even gonna believe me?”

Eridan thought for a moment, fishing out his book.

_Ask her about it first, on Monday. She said they were History partners, maybe they were working on it and decided to get a snack. It could be platonic._

“It didn’t look fucking platonic.”

_I know but get the whole story. Then tell Sol. If he doesn’t believe you I’ll back you up._

He let out a long sigh and nodded a little. “Fine. But if she’s cheating on him I’m going to make sure he knows. No one deserves that.”

Neither of them felt like getting ice cream after that, so they walked back to Karkat’s house. Eridan gathered his things, walking across the street with full intentions to tease his brother about the date with Kankri, until he saw the look on Cronus’s face.

He froze in the doorway, brow furrowing.

‘ _What’s wrong, Cro?_ ’

There was a pause.

“Dad called. He wants us to come pick up the rest of your stuff tomorrow.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow another chapter. Crazy what a broken writers block can do. Anyway, I hope you all like this and please let me know what you think. TW for this chapter: mentions of abuse and panic

To say Eridan didn’t sleep well that night would have been an understatement. He curled up in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to will away the dread that was eating him from the inside out. He’d have to go back to that house, to see his father so soon after his escape. A cold hand shoved itself into his abdomen and tied his stomach into knots, leaving him sleepless and sick. At some point he’d fallen asleep, only sure of that due to closing his eyes in darkness and opening them to light falling through his window in flaming streaks.

The blankets seemed to be made from lead, holding him prisoner against the mattress as he begged himself to get up. Finally shoving them away, he dragged himself to his feet and shuffled to get ready for the day. In the bathroom he paused, touching the bags under his eyes and grimacing as he splashed water over his face. When Cronus saw him he was quiet for a moment, chewing his lip.

“You don’t have to come, Eri. I won’t make you deal with him.”

‘ _But you have to deal with him. I don’t want you going on your own._ ’

“Eridan I can handle him.”

‘ _I handled him just fine for the last seventeen years._ ’

There was a long silence, neither brother backing down until Cronus let out a loud huff and walked into the kitchen. Eridan poured himself a cup of coffee, but was far too nervous to think about eating. He could picture the house in his mind, a luxurious manor that dominated the land it stood on, with cold windows that were rarely lit and an intimidating entryway. Opening the oak doors would reveal a long hallway, rooms opening on either side and a grand staircase rising at the end. The house would be silent, most days. But the days it wasn’t…

_Pathetic_

_Useless_

_Disgrace_

_Eridan_

“Eridan?”

His brothers voice cut through the memories as the eyes he didn’t realize he was squeezing shut flew open and the mug slipped from his fingers. There was an echoing shatter as scalding coffee splashed over his bare feet. He squeaked and jumped back, shaking the liquid off and staring at the white shards. For the first time he noticed his hands trembling where they had grabbed the counter. A hand on his shoulder pulled him further from the mess, a frown creasing the elders face.

Eridan looked from his brothers face to the mess.

_You screwed up. He hates you now. He wishes he’d never taken you in. You’re useless. You just ruin things. You’re not needed._

The tension built up, the knots in his stomach pulling tighter and tighter until the dam broke. Hot tears poured down his face, his breath hitching as a sob wrenched from his chest. ‘ _I’m sorry_ ,’ he signed over and over, his hands shaking so hard the works were almost indecipherable.

“Ain’t got a thing to apologize for, Eri,” Cronus assured him, pulling him to sit on the couch. “You’re fine, I promise. It was an accident.”

As the trembling subsided and the sobs turned to sniffles, Cronus got up and came back with a glass of cold water. Eridan took it and sipped at it, staring into the clear liquid as he calmed down.

“…you’re not hurt, right?”

He looked up, meeting his brother’s eyes, and shaking his head slightly. The other gave a quick sigh of relief. “Good. What…what happened? Just tired? Or stressed? You know I won’t let anything happen, right?”

‘ _All of the above. I wasn’t expecting to be back there so soon._ ’

“I know… Just know that I’ll be there the whole time. You’re safe, Eridan. This isn’t going to change that.”

Eridan took a deep breath and nodded, drinking the last of his water. ‘ _Let’s go_.”

Cronus was still tense as they got into the car, rolling down the window and reaching for his box of cigarettes. There was a curse when the search came up empty, his fingers tapping the wheel.

‘ _Do you have any extra inside? We could go back._ ’

He sighed a little and shook his head. “Nah I just forgot for a second…I threw ‘em out.”

Eridan raised an eyebrow, tilting his head.

“Look when you were off with your friends I invited Kankri over for dinner. We ate, watched a movie, the whole shebang. And…I kinda asked if we could do it again sometime. He actually said yes, surprisingly enough but…when we were talkin I found out he really hates the fact that I smoke. So, I promised I’d quit. Or at least try. I tossed them all, but this cold turkey thing really sucks”

‘ _Well it’s good that you’re quitting. Those things are horrible for you and they smell terrible. Anyway, so you and Kankri are together now?_ ’

Cronus flushed and kept his eyes firmly on the road. “Not…exactly. He said he’d have dinner with me, but nothing is official yet. Neither of us want to rush into things.”

His eyebrow once again began its ascent.

“Okay, okay. He doesn’t want to rush into a relationship. But…I’ll wait as long as it takes. I really like him and I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Eridan patted his brothers arm. ‘ _I’m happy for you._ ’

“Now enough about this. What about you? Any lucky people catch your eye?”

He thought for a long moment. Karkat was nice, but nothing he wanted as anything more than a friendship. Most of the group he didn’t know well enough to make judgements on. Sollux… was an asshole. He was fun to bicker with, and smart as hell, and certainly not bad looking. But he was an asshole. And also taken.

He looked back at his brother and shrugged with a shake of his head. Cronus ruffled his hair with a laugh, his shoulders having relaxed a bit as the tension drained.

“Good. What is it parents say? Focus on your grades and all that?”

Eridan snickered at the thought of Cronus trying to be a parent, settling in his seat to watch the world fly by. The houses slowly turned into tall buildings as they skirted the edges of the city, a tall gate looming in front of them as they closed in on the Ampora residence. Taking up one of the last free spaces around the city was the manor, resting on an exquisitely cut lawn that existed for no purpose other than looks.

Cronus punched in the code, the gates swinging open without so much as a creek. The grimace on his face turned into a scowl as they pulled into the driveway, a gardener lowering her head to not make eye contact as he got out of the car.

Eridan followed just behind him, dread filling him to the breaking point as he focused on keeping his breathing steady. The door opened moments before they reached it, a middle-aged woman looking over the two of them with something akin to pity. Eridan couldn’t meet her gaze, her face falling slightly as regret shone in her eyes.

“Please leave your shoes at the door. Mr. Ampora is in his office, I believe he is expecting the two of you.”

Though Cronus was tense, he offered the woman a small smile. Eridan remembered her name was Agatha, though she rarely spoke to him.

The smile was returned, though it was brief upon her face. “I might as well warn you, he’s not happy.”

“Has that man ever been happy?” Cronus asked, slipping off his shoes and following her down the main hall. Eridan was quick to follow, his hand gripping the back of his shirt as though he might lose him.

“Everyone is happy at some point in their lives,” she replied, leading them to the heavy door of their father’s office. Leaving them there, she continued down the hall to take care of more important things as Cronus knocked on the door.

A gruff voice sounded, almost devoid of emotion. “Come in.”

The voice made Eridan’s blood run cold as he stayed almost entirely behind Cronus. The older brother opened the door and stepped inside, his eyes narrowing at the man in front of them. He stood from his desk, a few inches taller than Cronus with two ghastly scars crossing his face that left one eye milky white and blind. The other regarded the boys coldly, though his sneer seemed to deepen when the blue orb landed on Eridan. He straightened his spine, hands clasped behind his back and his eyes respectfully down as though he’d been trained to do so. In a way he had, though he didn’t give the movements much thought.

“You didn’t need to let him tag along. It’s not as though he’ll be of much use.”

The words cut Eridan to the core, but he didn’t let his stance falter for a second. He could remember very clearly the last time he’d been ‘disrespectful.’ Cronus took a step in front of him, gritting his teeth slightly.

“Don’t talk about him like he’s not even here.”

“I don’t hear you denying the fact. Marcus will help you load the rest of his things, then maybe I can get some use out of that room, aside from as storage.”

“We’ll be fine on our own.”

Sometimes it was easy to tell the two were related, from the way their eyes narrowed to the cold voice void of all emotion they could so easily use. For a long moment, they glared at each other before their father rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time for this nonsense. Get his things and get out, you’re wasting my time.”

He stepped around them, sending Eridan stumbling when he couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. At the doorway, he stopped and spoke without looking back at them. “And I expect to see you both at the company Christmas party. For all the disgrace you put on this family you owe me that much.”

“We don’t owe you shit, bastard!” Cronus called at his retreating back, not even earning a flinch. Eridan shuddered to think what would happen if he tried the same thing.

Cronus continued cursing under his breath as they walked the familiar hall to Eridan’s room. It certainly wasn’t the biggest room in the house, the closet only holding hangers and a few boxes of knick knacks stacked against the far wall.

Eridan scooped up one of the smaller boxes, carrying it carefully downstairs and loading it into the car without making eye contact with anyone. Cronus wasn’t far behind and between the two of them they were able to get the last of his things into the car in less than an hour. Still, being in the house that long had both of them jittery. Cronus kept reaching for the cigarettes he didn’t have and Eridan found himself nervously picking at his scarf although the end was already fraying.

Agatha offered them a drink before they left, giving a few kind words to Eridan before they departed. Their father stood at the door as they left, not even glancing toward his youngest son.

“Remember what I said. You two will be coming to the party.”

“Only if Eridan wants to, because I sure as hell don’t,” Cronus spat back, earning a curled lip from Damien.

“I don’t know why you even bother asking him. It’s not like he can answer.”

Eridan wished he could sink into the ground, hunching in on himself as his father’s words tore through him like bullets, the raw wounds they left aching long after silence fell.

“He can. You’d know that if you bothered to learn sign language.”

Damien’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t need to. I doubt I was missing anything interesting.”

Cronus grabbed the door handle and slammed it shut, storming to the car, and peeling out of the driveway as fast as he could. His knuckles were white against the steering wheel while Eridan shrank against his seat.

Once they were a few miles away, Cronus slowed down a bit. He took a few deep breaths, calming himself before he spoke.

“Don’t listen to a word that fucker says. I don’t think he’s capable of love and affection and he’s wrong. So… ignore him.”

Eridan could hear the words and he wanted to believe them but at the same time…

_Waste of time._

_Waste of space._

It was the same mantra he’d heard for as long as he could remember and as much as he wanted to forget them he couldn’t let go of the nagging voice that told him it was true. He wasn’t worth the time or energy that anyone put into him, nor was he helping anyone by sticking around.

He shut his eyes, focusing on the music leaking from the radio as he let the thoughts seep from his mind. Maybe he needed somebody to confide in, though could he really let himself be completely honest with someone, even about something like this?

Finally, he looked at Cronus, shrugging a little. ‘ _Thanks. And…thank you for having my back there. He seemed…irritated. More than usual._ ’

“I don’t care what put the stick up his ass, that doesn’t give him an excuse to treat his kids like that. Especially you. You’re smart as hell and we both know it. He knows it too, he’s just a dick.”

‘ _Do you think he’d be like that if I could talk?_ ’

Eridan had thought the question for years, but had never voiced it before. It sat heavy in the air between them as Cronus frowned, taking a deep breath. “Honestly? No. He’s never been kind, at most he was tolerable. I think he just uses that shit to get in your head. So, don’t let him.”

The rest of the ride home was quiet, if a bit awkward, and the brothers remained silent as they moved the boxes from the car to Eridan’s room. Cronus had caved and stopped at a store to buy cigarettes, one of which he was smoking on the front porch with an irritated look. Eridan let him be, putting his things away and hanging his posters on the walls. This room felt like it belonged to him, instead of something he was borrowing or renting. He laid on his bed, staring at the movie posters that surrounded him and the lavender walls that calmed him. At some point, he needed to talk to someone, but it just never seemed like the right time. The school had counselors, they’d been offered when he’d registered, so he could look into that.

He sighed and curled up. If he could wish for anything, he’d wish he didn’t need counselors or psychiatrists. He wanted to be normal, to be like the other people his age. He wanted to worry about getting over breakups instead of panic attacks, about finding a date instead of somewhere to hide. Curling up tighter, he shoved his earbuds in and turned up his music until he drowned out everything but the lyrics.

When this was behind him he’d bother Cronus with it. For now, his brother had enough on his plate. Between their father, his band and his new boyfriend, Cronus was marathoning this multitasking thing and Eridan wasn’t about to add a leg to that race.

He flicked the volume up another notch, ignoring a warning about the sounds being too loud for earbuds as he fell asleep between verses.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the support! I hope you could continue to enjoy this story!

Waking up was never a welcome feeling, especially waking on a Monday and knowing very well he’d most likely be dealing with drama once he arrived at school. He kept his head firmly under a pillow, not even moving when Cronus opened the door to tell him to get up. A few minutes later the other returned and the pillow disappeared from his head. He looked up, eyes narrowed, as his brother smirked and tossed the pillow aside.

“Can’t stay in bed, chief. You got school.”

Eridan huffed, his hands mostly slumped against his chest as he signed. ‘ _Do I have to?_ ’

Cronus raised an eyebrow. “As your brother, I’d love to say no. Sleeping is a hell of a lot more fun than school. But I kinda have to make sure you don’t get busted for truancy so, yeah. Plus, I’m sure your friends are more interesting than I am. Kanny said you’d been hanging out with his little brother?”

Sitting up, Eridan had to try a few times to keep his eyes open. The lids drooped every few seconds, tempting him back to sleep. He stretched his arms above his head until he heard his joints pop and yawned. ‘ _Yeah. He’s interesting. I’m just not used to so many people._ ’

“That Captor kid give you any more trouble?” Cronus sounded like he was joking around, but there was a serious undertone to it. Eridan grinned a little at hearing someone care.

‘ _No. He was just being an ass. He didn’t know it would set me off. Hell, he didn’t even know I have panic attacks._ ’

“Still. There’s no reason to be that big of a douche lord.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, walking to his closet. ‘ _Cronus, you are the king of the douche lords. Now can you please get out of my room? I need to get ready._ ’

The elder left quickly, presumably to get ready himself, giving Eridan a moment to breathe. He was in no way looking forward to seeing Sollux today. If Karkat had told him, there was a good chance he’d be in the shittiest of moods and likely to take it out on his favorite bickering partner. If he hadn’t, Eridan doubted he’d be able to look him in the eye without guilt consuming him. Although he was the one that suggested asking Aradia first, he felt sick at the thought of knowing while Sollux didn’t.

He slung his bag onto his shoulder, following Cronus to the car. The end of his scarf was loose and mostly frayed by now, but he still picked at it nervously. Cronus glanced at him, but said nothing. By the time they reached the school he’d shortened the scarf by two rows, biting the inside of his lip as he got out. The tension in his stomach heightened with each step past the doors, culminating into a short-breathed mess sitting at the table and waiting for a certain nerd to show up.

The sound of doors opening tensed his shoulders even further, until he thought they might break if anything more was added. However, it wasn’t Sollux who rounded the corner and sat across from him with a sour look. Eridan met Karkat’s glare, raising an eyebrow in question.

“I can’t fucking find either of them,” the other grumbled, his teeth gritting. “This is ridiculous. What the fuck is she thinking? Yeah, he’s an asshole but he’s always done what he could for her! It’s been years!” He dragged his hands down his face.

_Should we go look for them?_

Karkat sighed and shook his head. “I don’t fucking know. I’m not going to.”

The silence was deafening with Karkat deep in thought and Eridan pulling out his sketchbook to doodle in it. He found himself drawing a crooked smile and messy hair, but he ignored the resemblance. When the bell rang without so much as a distant lisp, Karkat and Eridan exchanged a look. They hesitantly walked to Mr. English’s class, both confused.

Eridan wondered if he’d already found out somehow and was avoiding school. Though, given his father was a teacher didn’t seem likely nor did Sollux seem that emotional. He could barely pay attention to their teacher as he spoke, his mind wandering and worrying. When his hands weren’t drawing, they were fidgeting with his scarf or a pencil. Karkat was just as bad, glancing at his phone every few minutes and angrily punching in texts Eridan assumed were to Sollux. He muttered under his breath as he did this, far too quiet for anyone to hear.

As soon as class ended, Karkat darted out the door and left Eridan wondering what was going on. He lost sight of him too quickly to follow, sighing and walking by himself to Ms. Callie’s room. Nepeta was missing as well, leaving him with no one to interact with as he worked on his painting. He tried to put all his focus into his painting, chewing on his lip as he worked.

Something didn’t sit right with him about all of this, from Sollux’s absence to Nepeta’s. He felt as though he was out of the loop, and the churning in his stomach wasn’t helping to contest that. He set down his paintbrush for a moment, leaning against his desk for a moment as he steadied his breathing. It wouldn’t do him any good to get worked up like this, it wouldn’t do anyone any good.

Ignoring Vriska in swim class had become second nature at this point, though she took every opportunity to make a snide comment or give Eridan a face full of water. He coughed, glaring at her and diving under to swim off his stress. He needed to come to practice after school, if only to swim without her bothering him. Fef and him had been a part of the swim team at the local YMCA, the only times he got out of the house, though he didn’t really want to think about that right now. Part of him missed her, missed home, but that was to be expected, wasn’t it? He’d lived there his entire life after all.

He pulled himself from the water, actively avoiding Vriska as he ducked into the locker room. As soon as he was in the hall again, he found himself wondering where his friends had gone. Speech class was useless as ever, only giving him more time to worry. His stomach hurt, his head following soon after as he made his way to lunch. He found Karkat sitting at the table, frowning deeply and already picking at an over-greased pizza slice.

Eridan took the seat across from him, cautious as he set his sketchbook on the table. Karkat glanced up, his eyes tired and his brow furrowed.

_What happened?_

 Karkat sighed and rested his head in his hands for a moment. “Honestly? I don’t fucking know exactly. All I know was that Captor texted me saying he was in the nurse’s office, but by the time I got there he was gone. He wasn’t in second period either and he won’t answer his phone. I’m kind freaking the fuck out right now. Plus, I haven’t seen Aradia or Equius all day either, not that I need to see those fuckers but at the same time I hope that he didn’t do something supremely idiotic and get himself into trouble. Though knowing him he probably royally fucked up. I just wish I knew what was going on.”

Eridan nodded, sighing. He’d really been hoping that Karkat would know more than he did, though perhaps Mr. Captor had heard something. Though he wasn’t hungry he forced himself to eat a fruit cup, unable to stomach anything more. He pushed his tray aside, the rest of the table quiet aside from some light small talk. There was an unease running rampant through all of them, and even the usually cheerful people were almost silent.

The bell ran just in time to save Eridan from the sickening sound of silence, letting him practically jump up and hurry to Calculus. He paused as he walked into the classroom, noticing the significantly more irritated than normal look on his teachers face.

When his eye caught the others, he sighed. “Step outside for a moment, Mr. Ampora,” he said quickly, walking into the hallway. Once Eridan had followed him a few steps from the door, he stopped. “I thought I’d tell you, Sollux won’t be here for the rest of this week. You’re still welcome to meet with him for tutoring, and I’m not getting into what happened, but don’t feel pressured. You’ve been doing well.”

Eridan took a moment to write his reply, holding it up.

_Thank you for letting me know._

Of course, he fully intended on going over. He had to figure out what was going on and what better way than from the nerd himself?

Calculus dragged on more than usual, with Mr. Captor’s patience being about half of what it normally was. He was more irritable, reminding Eridan of Sollux more than ever.

As soon as the bell rang he was on his feet, darting out the door. At least his next class was relaxing, although he couldn’t bring himself to focus on the discussion they were having. Luckily, Mrs. Leijon didn’t call him to the board this time and he was able to curl up in a beanbag, doodling the period away.

He was fairly certain he knew what was going on, though he had no clue as to why. Sollux had done something stupid and gotten himself suspended. The only question remaining was exactly what he’d done to get himself there. Looking at his paper, he frowned at the messy hair he’d sketched out. Pointedly ignoring it, he flipped to the next page and drew the people around him until the bell pulled his attention.

Mrs. Lalonde’s class wasn’t much better at keeping him focused, as science had been his interest for a long time. He was ahead of the class on most things, leaving him to stare blankly at the screen as he waited for the bell with bated breath.

His final class he was twitchy, fiddling with his pencil until the class ended. For the first time since he’d arrived he was the first out the door. Though he’d never admit he was worried about Sollux, he couldn’t ignore the way his stomach knotted at the situation. He told himself if was just the fact that he didn’t know what was going on, but even he knew there was more to it than that.

He’d only been there once, but he was able to follow his memory to the squat house, as it wasn’t too far from the school. Once he got to the door, he paused. Sollux was typically unwelcoming, wouldn’t he be more so at a time like this? He brought hand to his mouth as he weighed his options. Go home and wait until someone filled him in or knock on the door and risk the others known attitude?

Raising his hand, he steeled himself before knocking on the door as firmly as he could manage. There was a deafening silence as the sounds rang out before someone was moving behind the door. Eridan tensed a bit as it opened, revealing a stressed Simon. The other offered a smile, opening the door all the way.

“Eridan. Come in, come in. Since Sollux will be home for a while, I’m having him help Tuna with his math. And-” he cringed as arguing rang out from the living room. “It’s going about as well as you’d expect. You might need to wait a few minutes for them to finish up, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.” He waved him inside, leading him to the living room. Sollux and Mituna were sitting across from each other at the coffee table, both attempting to talk over the other. The noise had Eridan flinching back, at which point Simon narrowed his eyes.

“Quiet, you two. Really, we have a guest.”

Mituna was the first to look over, a grin spreading on his face. “THOLLUXTH YOUR NERD BOYFRIEND ITH HERE!”

“Damnit, Tuna! Shut up, I’m right here!” Sollux huffed, shoving Mituna’s hand off and covering his ears. “And I already told you! He’th not my boyfriend!”

“Sollux!” Simon huffed, crossing his arms.

“I know, I know! Thwear jar.” Sollux stood up, digging in his pockets and dropping the coins he found in the jar. Finally glancing at Eridan, he sighed. Eridan’s eyes widened as he got a full look at Sollux’s face. His right cheek was swollen and bruised, his eye blackened behind the colored lenses. His knuckles were red and bruises dotted his hands.

‘ _What happened?_ ’

“Ampora you know I can’t underthtand that- “

“He athked what happened,” Mituna said matter-of-factly, shoving the math off of the table and pulling a sketchbook from the chair behind him. He set it on the table, leaning over it and doodling something.

Eridan paused, looking at the other with a bit of confusion. Mituna looked back up, frowning. “What? Kurloth doethn’t talk either. How elthe am I thuppothed to talk to him? Jutht becauthe I don’t go to thchool doethn’t mean I’m thtupid.”

After a moment, Eridan sat down at a free side of the table. ‘ _I don’t think you’re stupid. Sign language can be tricky. Is Kurloz your friend?_ ’

Mituna nodded, grinning again. “My betht friend. He cometh over thometimeth and I kick hit ath- uh butt, at video gameth. I kinda think he letth me win but he kinda thuckth tho I don’t know. Oh, Tula cometh over too!”

‘ _Tula?_ ’

“The’s my girlfriend! The’s really nithe and pretty. We go thkating.”

Eridan gave him a smile, which Mituna eagerly returned. “Do you thake? Or game?”

He shook his head, shrugging. ‘ _Sorry, I don’t. I never really did much gaming. I read more._ ’

“LAAAAME,” Mituna drew out the word very loudly, frowning when Eridan flinched. “Oopth. Wath I too loud?”

Sollux rolled his eyes and stood. “Yeah, Tuna. Too loud. Come on, nerd.”

‘ _Like you’re one to talk._ ’

Mituna was quick to repeat the statement, cackling as Eridan got up and followed Sollux.

Once they were in his room he collapsed on the bed. “Tho… Did Dad thay anything about what happened? At all?”

Eridan shook his head, sitting down and leaning against the wall.

There was a deep sigh. “Okay, tho you know my girlfriend, Aradia? Though I guess she’th not anymore, but that’th not the point. Her Hithtory partner and her have been working together a lot lately. I thought it wath cool, becauthe thchool and thtuff. Thkip forward to thith morning and I find, thith…thith _prick_ kithing my girlfriend outthide the roboticth room! I wath going to check on the bot we’re working on and I…kinda lotht it.” He looked a way, a little sheepish. “I punched him in the fathe. He did the thame before Aradia pulled him off me. Of courthe, thomeone thaw uth fighting and now the both of uth are thuthpended for the week.”

A freezing ball hardened in Eridan’s stomach as he sat up a little more. So, it was all out now, but Eridan couldn’t help glancing away guiltily. He felt horrible about how much he’d known, how he’d wanted to believe it wasn’t what he’d assumed.

Sollux frowned at him, sitting up a little. “What’th your ithue? You look like you’re going to be thick.”

Eridan shook his head, but kept his head down.

“I mean geeth, it’th like you aren’t even thurprithed the wath cheating on me. Unleth you knew or thomethin, but that’th ridiculouth.” He snickered, though it died when Eridan hunched in further on himself. “You…didn’t know…did you?”

There was a long moment of avoiding his eyes, chewing on the end of his pencil. He flinched when Sollux stood abruptly. “You fucking knew?!”

He pulled his knees to his chest, gripping his sketchbook before writing quickly. He knew firsthand how little patience Sollux had.

_Karkat and I were in the park. We saw them, but we didn’t know if it was a date or if they were taking a break from their project._

“KARKAT KNEW?!”

Flinching away from the noise, Eridan almost dropped his sketchbook.

_No! We didn’t know what was really going on. I told him to ask her about it before telling you. Don’t get mad at him._

Sollux’s eyes narrowed and his voice went scarily quiet. “Tho you thaw my girlfriend on a date with another guy and you told my betht friend not to tell me!” His voice got steadily louder, his hand grabbing Eridan’s arm and yanking him to his feet. “What the fuck?!”

Eridan’s eyes went wide and he pulled his arm back. _Don’t touch me. I didn’t know!_

“Yeth you fucking did! You knew thith wath going to happen, dickbag!” He grabbed Eridan’s sketchbook and bag, stalking down the hall to the front door. At the door, he threw it open and tossed the items into the yard as Cronus had done with his bag the week before. “Get out. I don’t care about tutoring, I don’t care what my dad thayth, go away.”

Mituna poked his head out of the living room, frowning. “Tholluxth? Ith your nerd leaving? I wath gonna show him- “

“Shut up, Mituna,” Sollux snapped.

“Don’t talk to your brother that way!” Simon scolded from the living room. “What’s going on, anyway?”

Sollux glared at Eridan until he darted out the door, slamming it shut behind him. He’d come clean, but he didn’t feel any better for it. If anything, he felt worse. He gathered his things and trudged towards home, keeping his head down and hoping Cronus wasn’t in the living room. Luck just didn’t seem to be on his side today, as his brother was sprawled on the couch when he got home.

He stood quickly, his brow furrowing. “Eridan? Eri, what happened? What’s wrong?”

‘ _I-I messed up._ ’

He hated the idea of being a burden on his brother, of dropping his problems on him, but at soon as he started he let everything spill out. At least everything about Sollux. He didn’t remember starting to cry, but when he finished his face was wet. ‘ _I’m sorry_.’

Cronus sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have a thing to be sorry for, Eri. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on with you since you got here. You can always talk to me, you know that right?”

After a long moment, he nodded. ‘ _I’m not really sure what to do…_ ’

“Well I don’t like the prick, so I’d say let him be a pissbaby. But just let him get over himself and talk to him I guess. Or get Karkat to yell at him. Just don’t let him make you feel like shit. He ain’t worth it.”

Eridan nodded a little. ‘ _Thanks, Cro._ ’

The elder clapped him on the back and got up. “No problem, chief. Now help me make dinner.”

As the evening passed Eridan was able to feel a bit better, laughing to some stupid show and eating dinner. However, the nerves were quick to return once he was curled up by himself in bed. He sighed and curled up tighter, trying to will himself to sleep and ignore the way the crumpled, torn and dirty page of his sketchbook was staring at him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little late guys! I had a really rough week, but I'll try to keep things at the very least on time as much as I can! In other news, if you have any questions about this story or want to see some art, you can go to probablynotawriter on tumblr and check it out!

It took every bit of energy Eridan had to pull himself out of bed the next morning, and he could already tell today was going to be a bad day. There was an icy lump sitting in his chest, another pressing against his throat as he considered telling Cronus he was sick. A sharp voice hissed at him for being a coward, adding to the weight slowly freezing him and forcing him from his room. His eyes still felt dry and swollen, most likely a result of all the crying he’d done in the past few days, but with the voice louder than ever in his mind he did his best to ignore it.

Cronus had left a bowl of cereal on the counter, a note beside it proclaiming that he’d needed to head out for an ‘all day practice’ for the band so he wouldn’t be back until late that night. For a moment, Eridan glanced at his bedroom door. If Cronus wasn’t going to be back all day, who would be the wiser if he stayed home? He could ignore the world for a day and sleep until his problems melted into the lethargy of an extended nap. However, a loud rap on the door tore him from his thoughts and tugged his attention to the front door. He took careful steps, focusing only on putting one foot in front of the other as a distraction from the exhaustion that weighed on his limbs.

The door opened as though it had been made of lead, his arm protesting as he pulled it toward him. Leaning against the wall of the porch stood Dave, his face as blank as ever beneath his opaque shades. Standing directly in front of him, feet planted firmly in the center of the doorway, Karkat crossed his arms and glanced over Eridan’s tired from with a mixture of his trademark irritation and concern. A pale eyebrow crept up Eridan’s forehead at the sudden intrusion, the stance and expression adding confusion to Eridan’s emotional filing cabinet for the day. It was strange how distant the emotion felt, as though it wasn’t really him feeling it. He shook off the thoughts and focused on Karkat again, who was uncharacteristically quiet. Finally, the silence was broken by the others hoarse voice.

“Are you okay?”

Confusion once again reigned supreme as Eridan took in the question. He slowly nodded, still feeling as though there was a barrier between him and the rest of the world, as if Karkat’s words and even his own emotions were coming through a filter.

There was a huff from the Vantas and he glanced at Eridan’s still very much pajamaed form. “I heard what happened, asshole. I know he knows and I know he was a dick to you. Changing the fucking subject, were you planning on going to school today, because it really doesn’t look like it.”

The thought of having to get ready, or do anything at all, made Eridan grimace and Karkat sigh with narrowed eyes. There was a look in his eye that said he’d done this before as he stepped into the doorway. “Come on, dickwad, where’s your room? Unless you’re fucking sick, it’s not a good idea to fuck around by yourself all day. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your brother’s not here, since he’s been doing a pretty good job so far of getting your ass to school.”

Eridan frowned a bit and pointed halfheartedly toward his door, earning a hand on his wrist leading him firmly toward the aforementioned door. Dave was instructed to stay on the couch while Karkat tugged Eridan into his room and shut the door firmly behind them.

“Look, I know what a bad day looks like, but I’m not fucking leaving unless you’re with us or I can trust you’ll take care of yourself and frankly, I’m not sure on the second one. Fuck it, you hardly eat at school unless I’m shoving it down your gullet sorry if I’m not fucking inclined to think that you’d be any better about it on a down day alone.” As he ranted, he grabbed clothes from Eridan’s closet and shoved them into his arms. The Ampora stared at the cloth for a long moment, the encounter moving too fast for him to keep up as off as he felt. Karkat gave him gentle but firm instructions to get dressed before leaving the room with Eridan’s backpack.

It took him longer than it probably should have to pull on the clothing, but he was grateful for Karkat’s choice once he had. The clothing was loose and comfortable, a calming warmth enveloping him with the sweater as he trudged from his room. An apology sat heavy in his hands as his fingers twitched to the signs, the idea of finding a pencil and writing it out still appalling. He was more than prepared for irritation at the absurd amount of time it had taken for him to put on the simple outfit, but was only met with a readied bowl of…was that oatmeal?

“Eating probably isn’t all the fucking appealing right now, trust me I know, but you need something in your stomach. By the way, your brother really needs to stock up on groceries, I could only find the instant shit and that sure as hell isn’t going to impress Kankri.”

Eridan found the chattering a calming constant as he let muscle memory pull the spoon from the bowl to his mouth. The oatmeal was warm, the slight sweetness coating his tongue as he ate. It required almost no work, and the ease made it less of a hassle to force himself. He didn’t have to focus on chewing to keep from choking, only on following the motions. Karkat took the bowl before he realized he was done, pulling him to his feet with more patience than Eridan had thought he was capable of and leading him toward the door. Dave followed now, checking that the door was locked while Karkat made sure that Eridan didn’t stray from the path to the school.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit better, though he didn’t understand why Karkat was bothering. Back home he was left to his own devices and if his own thoughts drained his energy or made him question the point of even getting out of bed to eat no one bothered to make sure he got food. Curling in bed for hours or days went unnoticed or at least uncared for as he memorized the exact patterns of the texture on his ceiling. Occasionally he’d wake up, or more so come back into focus, to find a snack of some sort on his nightstand but other than that he was utterly alone in his thoughts.

Karkat pulled him into the library, nudging him into a seat as their group filed to their normal places. The talking among them was almost entirely lost on Eridan as he stared blankly at his bag with the realization that his sketchbook wasn’t inside. The image of it sitting on his desk screamed at him for leaving it there, though the panic couldn’t seem to gain the energy it needed to break through the dullness that had coated everything. He tugged a notebook free of the bag for a moment before dropping it back inside. There was nothing he needed to put to paper, no reason to have a book out aside from the odd emptiness the lack of familiar weight left him with.

It took him a moment to realize Karkat was speaking to him, beckoning him to follow as the shrill bell rang meaninglessly in his ears. Nevertheless, he followed the others command to their first period and plopped into his chair listlessly. Worry still creased Karkat’s brow, the shorter boy asking several times how Eridan was feeling. Each question was met with a simple shrug, anything more requiring energy Eridan didn’t have to spare. Mr. English seemed worried by the usually attentive teen’s behavior, but seemed to realize that it was best not to ask. Eridan forced himself to pick up a pencil, taking notes with remarkably less enthusiasm than normal and looking exhausted by the task.

The school day seemed to stretch ahead of him endlessly, taunting him as he wondered how on Earth he’d get through it without sleep grabbing him. Sleeping would be so much easier, to just lay his head on the desk and close his eyes for a minute…

He squeezed his eyes shut and once again forced his limited energy into his hand as he copied the words from the board diligently. Karkat’s eyes flitted his way often, though his worry seemed to lessen slightly as Eridan’s energy slowly became easier to direct into useful things. It was easier to keep at a task he was already doing, though when the bell rang it was hard to summon the motivation to rise from his seat. Karkat waited for him, never once commenting on how long it took him to gather his things, though Eridan was sure at several points that he would.

For once, Karkat insisted on walking him to Ms. Callie’s class, only leaving once he stepped through the classroom doors with the promise to see him at lunch. Nepeta seemed to pick up where the other left off, asking questions and making small talk that made it easier for him to stay focused. His own painting was finished, as was hers, and the only thing he needed to worry about was giving just enough attention to the people presenting their projects to be socially acceptable. He searched the art for some deeper meaning, if only to give himself some way to direct his attention, though most of it was simple paintings of fish or the horizon.

Nepeta leaned against his desk, tapping the wood with her pencil for a moment. “Eridan? Are you okay? You look a little _meow_ t of it.”

He slowly blinked, glancing at her and shaking his head slightly to clear it. ‘ _I’m fine. Just tired._ ’ Well it was mostly true. ‘ _Where were you yesterday?_ ’

She huffed and crossed her arms. “Equi _hiss_ got into a dumb fight yest _purr_ day. He got himself suspended, the idiot. Not only that, but apparently he was dating someone and didn’t _tail_ me? I’m a little _hiss_ ed off about the whole thing, but,” she sighed. “You’re friends with _Paw_ llux aren’t you?”

Eridan grimaced and shrugged, ignoring the voice that hissed in the back of his head. The one that told him they could have been if he hadn’t fucked it up. That voice could shut the hell up. ‘ _We’re not exactly close, but I know what happened._ ’

Her eyes drifted toward the table. “I feel bad _fur_ what happened to him. He’s grumpy, but no one deserves that. Although, punching Equi _hiss_ was pretty stupid of him. I guess I’m just _fur_ ustrated with the whole situation. And I’m really disappointed in Equius and Aradia!”

All he could do was nod and let her vent, her sharp nails digging into the back of her sketchbook. She glanced at him, sighing and apologizing for the rant though he was quick to reassure her. Honestly, when someone else was talking it took the pressure of figuring out conversation off of him, letting him relax for at least a few minutes as he tried to scrape every bit of energy he could from the back of his mind. The bell ringing pulled them both from their thoughts, Nepeta insisting on walking Eridan to the pool despite his protests.

Like with Karkat, he could almost see the concern pouring off of her and he couldn’t help but wonder what he’d done to deserve people like this caring about him. It was a strange concept to him. She waved as she left, though the slight warmth that had begun to cut through the fog was quickly cooled by the sight of Vriska leaning against the bleachers. The Serket had never been kind to him, always having some comment to make. Although Sollux often did the same, the difference was there was no decency on Vriska’s part. Sollux wasn’t serious most of the time, just irritated. Vriska, on the other hand, was entirely sure of what she was saying and knew how far she was stepping over the line. She was the kind of girl who’d hold magnifying glasses over ants just to see what would happen, or who’d poke and prod at every weakness her one good eye saw to see how far someone would bend before they broke.

Her single blue eye found him, the other a milky glass orb that reminded him far too much of his father to ever be comfortable. A smirk dragged on corner of her mouth up as she pushed off the metal seat and sauntered over to him, her hand coming to rest on her hip. The other was a prosthetic, an extension made specifically for swimming now attached at its elbow but it didn’t keep her from looking like a snake homing in on its prey. Eridan ducked past her, his knuckles white on the strap of his bag.

“Rude,” she huffed after him, though her voice was quickly lost to him as he hurried into the locker room. She was exhausting enough on a good day, her snide remarks burning their way into his mind and living there in inescapable clumps. It was like she always knew exactly what to say to dig into his chest and hurt him.

For the first time water wasn’t helping clear his head, the cool liquid only succeeding in making him shiver violently. Muscle memory helped more than focus did, dragging him through the water with only the barest minimum of thought needed.

He managed to avoid Vriska for a second time, trying to force his legs to move faster as they carried him to speech. The class didn’t help with his motivation levels, only making the idea of curling underneath his desk for a quick nap seem all the more appealing. Standing from his desk was a monumental effort, as was the slow trek from the useless class to the crowded cafeteria.

Slumping into the seat across from Karkat, he laid his head on the table and closed his eyes to relish the feel of the cool wood against his cheek. The thought of rising anytime soon was laughable when he didn’t see any real point in getting up. Karkat didn’t bother him into getting food, but by the time Eridan next opened his eyes a bowl of steaming soup was sitting beside his face. The broth was flavorless and burned his tongue, but he could feel himself climbing back up to the ladder slowly but surely. His down days weren’t frequent, but it was still nice to know there were people who he could count on when they arose.

Mr. Captor seemed tired, his voice strained as he taught the lesson. Eridan couldn’t imagine that dealing with his son’s suspension was easy, especially with word of the fight making its way around the school. Eridan paused, somewhat wanting to ask how Sollux had been since he’d thrown him out yesterday. That thought was vetoed quickly enough and he hurried out the door, grateful that today was a reading day. He was almost halfway done with the assigned book, now bearing a copy of his own so he could make all the notes and markings he wanted in it. Not that he was reading much today, more like reviewing his notes. Since lunch he’d felt less tired, but still a million miles from okay and even thinking of reading those huge blocks of letters gave him a headache.

Mrs. Lalonde was more serious today, he guessed since she was preparing them for a dissection lab. Jade seemed chock full of energy, reading over the instructions with a wide grin and loudly proclaiming that she was partnered with Eridan. The lab wasn’t until tomorrow, but that didn’t seem to dampen Jade’s excitement in the slightest. She chattered his ear off while she walked him to his final class, which had Eridan raising an eyebrow. It almost felt like his friends had coordinated to see who could make sure he got to class, though he wasn’t sure if it was anything that organized. Though with Karkat, he never really knew. It seemed like something he might do.

It was strange to see Mr. Strider perched on the desk again, blathering about physics, after realizing he was Dave’s brother, but at least this teacher moved around enough to keep his attention from shifting. The worksheet taunted Eridan, but he managed to fill in the blanks and turn it in. It might not be perfect, but he could be proud of the small things he did as well as the big.

Stepping out of the classroom, a face at the end of the hall almost made him turn around and hide out under a lab table until she went away. Aradia wrapped a fluffy piece of hair around her finger, her teeth knawing at her red-painted lips as she stopped in front of him. “Eridan, right?”

He nodded stiffly, his hands pulling at the frayed strings that finished off his scarf.

She seemed restless, her arms crossing and uncrossing while her hands fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “I know I don’t really have the right to ask this, considering what happened, but… is Sollux okay?”

Eridan very much did not want to be having this conversation, but he couldn’t escape it now. With a heavy sigh, he pulled out his notebook, his handwriting sloppy along the straight lines.

_Considering half his face is swollen and he’s suspended, I’d say he’s had better weeks._

There was a little huff of irritation, but the concern in her expression was too obvious to ignore. “Is he…angry?”

_Wouldn’t you be?_

With her arms crossing again she looked away, her lips pulling into a frown. “I guess you think I’m a horrible person, right?”

_Well you’re certainly not falling onto my Top Ten list anytime soon._

“I had my reasons. I didn’t do this to hurt him, you know. That’s not what I wanted at all.”

_Then what were you trying to do? Dating two guys at once couldn’t have been something you thought would last, right?_

She sighed. “You’ve been around Sollux. He’s irritable and doesn’t seem to have any kind of filter between his brain and his mouth. He can be incredibly sweet, sure, but you never know when his mood could divebomb. It’s a wild, exhausting rollercoaster being around him, right?”

Eridan raised an eyebrow, wondering where she was going with this.

“The thing is…I care about Sollux. At one point…I thought I loved him. Now I’m not sure about any of that. After so many years, it’s gotten to be too much. I can’t keep up with him and after so long I’m just…tired. Equius really is my partner for the History project, I didn’t lie about any of that. He always seems to know what to say and he’s thoughtful and observant and… it all spiraled out of control and before I knew it I was falling for him. When things calm down more I’d like to talk to Sollux, to explain everything, but for now I just want to know if he’s okay.”

There was a pause before Eridan nodded. Sollux was hurt, yes, but he had a family to support him and he needed time.

She let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. Neither him or Karkat will talk to me right now, not that I can blame them, so I thought you might know something. Keep an eye on him. He lashes out when he’s upset and tries to blame other people, but he doesn’t mean half the things he says. Thank you…really. I still need to talk to him, but for now it’s nice to know he’s got people around to help him. I really have to go, though. Thank you again!”

Eridan frowned as she walked away, leaning against the wall. Sollux had been angry yesterday, but Eridan couldn’t deny he was still worried. He began his trek from the school, but frowned when he feet led him to a familiar door that wasn’t his own. Surely checking in couldn’t hurt, could it?

He raised a hand to knock, his stomach churning as he rapped his fist against the door.

This definitely wasn’t a good idea for a day like today, but it was too late now.


	14. Chapter 14

The door sat heavy and silent, the sting of knocking still dancing across Eridan’s knuckles as he waited. He shifted from one foot to the other while considering running now, though he didn’t like the idea of dashing off. The sound of the handle turning caught his attention, his hand tightening on his bag as apprehension knotted his stomach.

A creak sang from the hinges as the door swung open with far more force than needed. Eridan jumped back, tensing even further as a fluffy head of hair stuck out of the doorway. Crooked teeth were shown in a bright grin that lit the others face. “You came back!” Mituna crowed, a hand latching onto Eridan’s wrist and tugging him inside. He seemed to be bouncing with excitement, kicking the door shut behind Eridan. “I thought Tholluxth thcared you away!”

Eridan could hardly keep up with him as Mituna darted into the living room, diving for a pile of wires and game cases after telling Eridan to ‘wait here’. To say he was a little frazzled would be an understatement, but Mituna seemed too excited for him to stop him. The other rummaged around more, jumping back up and shoving a case into Eridan’s hands.

“You thaid you didn’t game, which ith totally fuckin lame,” he paused and dropped his voice to a stage whisper. “Uh…Don’t tell Dad I thaid that. I’m thaving for a new game. I don’t wanna put my money in the thwear jar.” He looked around, his voice rising to normal. “But Dad went to the thtore! Tholluxth ith upthtairth.” He looked down, frowning. “I gueth you wanna talk to him, right?”

He seemed almost disappointed, scowling at the ground. “Thorry I can go get him.”

Eridan glanced at the stairs, looking back at Mituna after. ‘ _We can talk for a bit first, if there’s somethin you want to show me. I don’t think a few minutes will make any difference in the conversation we need to have._ ’ Was he being a bit of a coward and stalling for time? Yes. It wasn’t just that though, it was…a combination of that and how crestfallen Mituna had looked when he’d realized why Eridan was here. He seemed sweet, if a bit loud, and actually excited to show him…whatever this was. He looked down at the cover of the game case, raising an eyebrow at the cute creatures across the front. Pokémon. He’d heard of it, of course, but he’d never gotten a chance to play any of the games. His father had considered video games childish, a waste of time though Eridan thought they looked fun.

Mituna grabbed the case back, pulling out a blocky looking DS with a bumblebee emblazoned across the front and shoving the game into it. Hopping on the couch, he slapped the cushion beside him. “Come on! You can’t thee it from down there, duh.”

He scrambled onto the couch beside Mituna, who was already grinning at the screen. Eridan watched the flashing colors intently as one of the small creatures appeared on screen. To be honest, he didn’t understand much about the game but as soon as it started Mituna began excitedly chattering about the game in a way that made Eridan think he hadn’t been able to talk to someone like this in a while. The other looked up occasionally, elbowing him in the arm if he didn’t seem to be paying attention, though Eridan did his best not to let his mind wander. It seemed like Mituna just wanted someone to talk to, and Eridan couldn’t do much but listen.

The time seemed to pass quickly as Mituna switched from introducing Eridan very seriously to his team to yelling at the battles, the latter making Eridan cringe slightly at the noise but he let it go. Once or twice Mituna seemed to notice, trying to quiet himself before getting excited again. At least he was trying. Eridan never thought watching someone play a game could be fun, but Mituna’s excited grin had him grinning along as well. Although he didn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, he didn’t feel pressured to. It was relaxing, at least until the sound of someone shuffling down the stairs made Eridan jump.

He briefly considered curling behind Mituna and hoping he wasn’t seen, ridiculous considering the others stick like figure but a thought nonetheless. All thoughts of what to do froze in his mind when Sollux flopped against the doorway, looking exhausted. His glasses hung at the end of his nose, bags carved under his eyes and his hair a greasy mess. Actually, he looked pretty much the same in that aspect, just more obvious about the fatigue. Had he been taking a nap or something?

“Tuna, who the fuck are you talking to- what is he doing here?” His voice dropped from a tired question to practically a snarl as his eyes narrowed and focused on Eridan’s quickly paling face. “I told you, I’m done with the tutoring thing. Get out.”

Instinct had Eridan shooting to his feet to scramble out the door as soon as the words were hissed at him, a much colder, deeper voice hissing them in an echo that bounced across his mind like a rubber ball. Before he could get far, a hand grabbed his wrist and kept him in place. He glanced back to see Mituna glaring at Sollux. “I wath showing him Pokémon, Tholluxth. He’th nithe and lithens.”

Sollux muttered something about only listening because he had too, his mouth still twisted into a scowl as he glared at Eridan. Red flared in his cheek, something he was sure only brightened his freckles.

A deep frown set in Mituna’s face, his arms crossing as best they could while keeping ahold of Eridan’s wrist. “Well at leatht he’th not grumpy like you! You uthed to talk about Pokémon with me, but now you’re jutht a-“ his voice grew into an incoherent screech as he struggled to get the words out. He dropped Eridan’s wrist to grip his own head, trying to force his words into order and getting increasingly frustrated when they wouldn’t cooperate.

Sollux’s face immediately shifted to concern as he darted across the room, his hand landing on Mituna’s shoulder only to be thrown off. “Don’t touch me!” Mituna managed, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to calm down. Eridan lightly sat beside him, thinking back to his nights curled up and trying to force his mind to stop screaming. He knew this wasn’t exactly the same, but Sollux seemed a little frazzled and Mituna had once again pressed his hands against his head. He carefully lifted a hand rubbed small circles between the others shoulder blades. Mituna jumped and Eridan yanked his hand to his chest.

‘ _I want to help_ ,’ he quickly signed, his hands shaking a little. ‘ _Is that okay?_ ’

After a moment, Mituna gave a sharp nod, his chest jerking with each short breath. Eridan returned to rubbing his back, trying to be soothing. Sollux darted out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a rather large stuffed bee. Mituna snatched it from his brother and held it against his chest with his face ducked to press against the fluff. Eridan heard Sollux encouraging him to breathe, offering slow breaths for Mituna to follow. Slowly the others breathing returned to normal, his shoulders ceasing in their jerking as he began to relax more.

Mituna finally took a deep breath and peeked at Sollux from behind the bee, one hand lifting his fluffy hair out of his face. Eridan’s eyes widened, the mismatched eyes that seemed prominent in the Captor family were surrounded by scars, the jagged pale lines trailing up over his temples and burying themselves in his hair. Just the thought of how horrible the wounds must have been made Eridan wince, wondering how it could have happened. He was torn from his thoughts by Mituna’s voice, quieter than normal. “Don’t make him leave, Tholluxth. Kurloth and Tulip are buthy and he wath lithening. Pleathe?”

Sollux grimaced, glancing at Eridan before letting out a heavy sigh. “Fine, fine. Whatever, Tuna. But I gotta talk to him first.”

Immediately Mituna jumped to his feet with an excited yell. “I’m gonna teach him to play Thuper Thmash Broth!” he crowed, darting to the television and sorting through wires as Sollux dragged Eridan to the hallway. As soon as they were out of earshot that glare was back, full-force.

“What the fuck, Ampora? What wath that all about?”

Eridan frowned, taking a moment to pull out his phone. Easier to type than to write occasionally. _I don’t know what you’re talking about. I came here to talk to you about the whole situation, but he seemed really excited to show me something. I figured it couldn’t hurt._

“Oh? And what do we have to talk about? I thought I wath pretty thtraightforward on how I felt. You knew what wath going on and you told KK to keep quiet. End of thtory.”

_Not ‘end of story’! If you could stop using your ass as earmuffs maybe you could figure out that I didn’t know any more than Kar did! He was there too! Don’t lash out at me because you couldn’t keep a relationship intact!_

Sollux stepped toward him, fists clenched. Eridan felt a bit of color drain from his face but stood his ground. He could take a punch, so he squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth. But the blow never came. Eridan opened one eye after a few moments, his brow raising with the lid, to find that Sollux had taken a step back and crossed his arms tightly.

“Relaxth. I’m not gonna hit you,” he grumbled, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t punch people all that much.” In spite of his irritated tone, there was a worry in his eyes that Eridan didn’t quite understand.

He allowed himself to relax a bit, frowning and wrapping his arms around himself. After a few long moments of silence, he sighed. _Neither of us knew, Captor. We knew it was a possibility but I didn’t want to start any trouble between the two of you if it was nothing. I’m sorry it turned out like this, but it’s not my fault, or Karkat’s._

There was another long pause as Sollux grimaced at the text before he finally sighed and looked away. “Well…MT would never thtop whining if I kicked you out again…and Dad already gave me shit yethterday for it. And I _gueth_ my hithtory grade hath gone up a bit.” Most of this was half whispered grumbles, but when he rolled his eyes and slumped back into the living room Eridan couldn’t help his wide grin as he followed him.

Mituna was kneeling in front of the screen, a second controller laid out beside him as he glared impatiently at the doorway. “Finally,” he huffed before grinning and shoving the second controller in Eridan’s direction. “Come on! I haven’t gotten to play thith in forever.”

Sollux snorted and nudged his brother with his foot. “Nah, MT. I got firtht round.”

“What? No! I thet it up! I wanna play!”

“Yeah, but if anyone’th gonna kick Ampora’th ath at thith it’th gonna be me.”

The older brother furrowed his brow for a moment before a mischievous smirk lit his face. “Play me for it. Winner playth Ampora-“ he grimaced for a moment. “Ugh, do I have to call him that? Remindth me of the douchelord.” He looked at Eridan.

‘ _You can just call me Eridan_.’

He grinned. “Rad. Now thit down, Tholluxth, tho I can kick your ath!”

Watching the brothers play was interesting, through insults that didn’t seem terribly serious and frustrated groans when something didn’t go in their favor. It was easy to tell they were related, seeing how concentrated they were. How seriously they were taking it while still having fun. They fell into an easy rhythm of clicking buttons and winning rounds, both wearing excited grins the entire time. Although Mituna certainly wasn’t a bad player, Sollux won by a landslide and tossed the wireless controller to Eridan.

Eridan caught it clumsily, taking a moment to make sure he was holding it properly before looking at the screen to choose a character. Half of the characters he’d heard of, though he didn’t know much about them. He settled on a random character, unsure of what he was doing as the game started. Sollux seemed to go easy on him, giving him hints every now and again and letting him figure out what buttons did what before kicking his ass. He lost, of course, but it was still fun. Mituna demanded to play next, cackling as he won and loudly telling Eridan he had to come over more so he could get better.

He glanced back at Sollux at that, receiving only a shrug in return. That was probably the best he was going to get, so he grinned and turned back to the screen. He did manage to win one round against Mituna, but still lost the second game before Sollux took over to challenge his brother again. On the second round, the door opened and chattering could be heard from the entryway. Eridan tensed at the newcomers, though his shoulders relaxed when Simon stuck his head in the doorway to check on the boys. His eyes widened a bit, a grin lighting his face.

“Good afternoon, Eridan. We’re about to start dinner, would you like to join us?”

There was a brief glance at Sollux before he nodded, Simon’s eyes brightening. “Fantastic. Oh- would you mind giving us a hand?”

Eridan was a little confused at the request, but stood and stepped out of the living room. Mr. Captor was putting things away in the kitchen, glancing over with a raised eyebrow. “Ampora? Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

Simon grabbed a few bags from the table and began fishing out ingredients. “Sollux told us a bit of what happened, something with Aradia right?”

He nodded a little, feeling awkward just standing there and handing things from the table to Simon to help a bit.

Mr. Captor sighed, setting a few cans beside the stove. “It’s too bad, really. She was a sweet girl. Her and Sollux were close practically from birth.”

“Either way, we thought you wouldn’t come back. I’m glad you did though. Mituna was quite upset when you left, though he seems much happier now. And it’s a good thing for Sollux too. He doesn’t have people over very often.” He plopped a package of meat into a pan as he talked, his husband cutting in for a moment.

“His history grade has certainly been improving, if his last test is anything to go by.”

“Phillip! I was saying it’s good for Sollux to have _friends_ to help him out.”

“Grades are important if he wants a good job.”

“Social links are important if he wants a good life,” Simon argued, rolling his eyes though it was obvious neither of them were entirely serious. “It’s not good for him to spend his whole life in his room on that computer. The same for Mituna. I swear, the three of you would be happy to be hermits and only come out for food or work.”

Mr. Captor gave a short laugh. “So you’ve said before. But for either reason,” he glanced at Eridan, “I think it’s good you’re here. And it’s probably good for you, at least academically. Oh, don’t forget that there will be a test this Friday.”

Simon rolled his eyes again, shoving a spatula into his husband’s hand. “Leave the boy alone and help me cook.” He turned to Eridan. “Don’t worry about that test tonight, just have some fun gaming and we’ll call you all when it’s ready.”

Eridan offered him a smile and ducked back into the living room, where Sollux and Mituna were squabbling about what game to switch to. Eventually Mituna won with some driving game that, in Eridan’s experience between then and dinner, had far too many banana peels. Like the other game, it was fun even when he lost.

All three boys perked up when the call for dinner rang out, Mituna leapfrogging over Sollux in his rush to get to the kitchen first. Eridan trailed after the youngest Captor, chuckling softly as they were handed their plates. It was strange to eat with a large family, given that the only person he really had to eat dinner with was Cronus, especially such a talkative family. The conversation was constant, jumping from one subject to the next without making Eridan feel left out. He shared a few words with Mituna, who translated whenever he signed to someone at the table, but even that little bit felt like more than enough. Was this what a normal family felt like?

Eridan gathered his things after dinner, glancing out to the rapidly setting sun with a frown. This time Simon insisted on driving him home. “Nice neighborhood or not, you still shouldn’t walk by yourself after dark.”

Though Eridan didn’t want to cause him any trouble, before long he found himself sitting in the front seat of a minivan with bees plastered over it and the distinct scent of honey inside. Were bees just a theme within this family? He looked curiously at a little bumblebee plush hanging from the rearview mirror, which earned a laugh from Simon when he noticed.

“There’s a lot of bee stuff isn’t there?”

Eridan gave a little nod, hugging his bag to his chest.

“Well…I suppose it does seem a little weird. But I work at a bee farm just outside of town and I’ve just kind of collected stuff over the years. The boys adored it, so it kinda stuck around. Sollux used to say he wanted to work with me…until he figured out he was severely allergic to bee stings. It…wasn’t the best of days. So, where am I taking you?”

He wrote down the address, listening to the chatter as they drove. It was a nice change from the almost awkwardly quiet car rides with Cronus. There was a quick thanks signed as he got out at home before he hurried to the door. Cronus was standing in the middle of the living room, staring at his phone. He jumped when Eridan walked in, looking relieved.

“Look, I don’t mind you going out, I really don’t. But let me know next time, please.”

‘ _Sorry, Cro. How’d practice go?_ ’

Cronus lit up, flopping onto the couch as he recounted his day. Apparently, there was a scout from a recording company coming to their next show and if they impressed them they could get to the big leagues.

Eridan felt better than he had that morning, though he still found it hard to sleep that night. Hopefully, the cotton that had begun clearing from his mind since that morning would be entirely gone by the next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys just a reminder if you have any questions about this work or want to see more from me (Maybe even some art of this stuff) you can head to probablynotawriter on tumblr


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is late, this past weekend has been rough and I got it out as soon as I could. I hope you enjoy!

He could never be lucky enough to recover in a day, could he? Though the cold ache that had torn his stomach since Monday was melted into harmless water rather than cutting glass, the wall that had built itself around him had yet to disappear completely. It was trapping him, filtering his thoughts, and delaying his reactions, though only a fraction of what it had blocked yesterday. Eridan huffed a little, placing his palms over his eyes as the clattering sound of pans rang through the house. He turned toward the door, his eyes narrowing slightly as he forced himself to press against the barrier, grasping for motivation and yanking what he could find through the filter.

Getting out of bed was a struggle, the blankets far more inviting than the harshness of the world outside of them. There was a chill in the air, a sign of fall settling in as he opened the window to peer into the world for a brief moment. The coolness made his nose crinkle, a shiver running down his spine as he closed the window. For all the cold annoyed him, it helped to clear his head. With that in mind he trudged into the bathroom and proceeded to practically drench his entire head in freezing water. He looked to the mirror, water droplets clinging to his lenses in almost perfect spheres until they couldn’t hold their own mass against the force of gravity and dripped into the white porcelain sink beneath him. He grimaced, unable to stop himself from staring into the alabaster depths, nor his mind from splashing red stains across it. His knuckles whitened on the edge of the counter as he shoved himself away from it.

His eyes were finally dragged to the mirror, the bags under the unsure green orbs dark against his pale skin, freckles splattered across his cheeks. Ginger hair hung in his face, clinging to his forehead with the blonde streak mostly hidden from sight. Aside from the exhaustion painted across his expression, he looked…normal. It was a lie. His eyes narrowed at the image, his lip curling into a scowl. Though his head was clearer, the thoughts coming more easily, that didn’t change the thoughts that pressed themselves against his skull and demanded attention. He hid his face for a moment with a towel, drying the extra water from his face and smearing it across his glasses. The blurry streaks that left were almost welcome, a barrier between him and the mirror as he moved to leave the bathroom.

The door opened, pulling away from his hand on the handle. A jolt of surprise shot through his chest, his feet stumbling back quickly as Cronus stepped in. “Shit, Eri. Sorry didn’t know you were in here-” he paused, frowning a little at the younger Ampora. “Are you alright? You look kind of out of it.”

Eridan glanced away, running a hand over his arm and shrugging a little. ‘ _I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well._ ’

“Anything I can help with?” It was a strange feeling to see the other people around him trying so hard, or trying at all, to help him. To worry about him. To be there for him.

He shook his head a bit, forcing a smile onto his face. ‘ _I promise I’m fine, Cronus. I heard you in the kitchen earlier. What’d you break this time?_ ’

Cronus put a hand to his chest with a mock-offended look. “That is an unfounded allegation, Eridan. Honestly, I’m offended that you would even think that.”

Eridan couldn’t help a laugh at that. ‘ _Unfounded allegation? I think you’ve been spending too much time with Kankri._ ’

There was a brief moment of Cronus rolling his eyes before he joined in on Eridan’s laughter. “Ugh, not exactly. Not enough time, at least not since last weekend. The band is finally getting somewhere, so that’s kind of front and center for now. He says he understands though.”

‘ _So, does that mean you two finally made it official?_ ’

A blush colored Cronus’s cheeks. “Er…shit. Don’t mention it to anyone, but sort of? He doesn’t really want to put a label on things yet. But hey, at least I know he likes me.” He shrugged. “But speaking of the band, you know how I said a scout was coming to our next gig?”

He nodded, grabbing the brush, and fixing his hair as he listened.

“Well we’ve got a date confirmed for the gig. It’s this Saturday and they gave each of us five backstage tickets to invite people we want to come and hangout with afterwards. One of ‘em is for Kanny, of course, but you can bring a few friends if you want to come. I know it’ll be a lot of people, so you don’t have to, or you can like…step out if you need to, but you’re still free to invite people. Oh, and the VIP section is kinda closed off so you won’t be squished like sardines. It’s a nice setup.”

Eridan grinned and nodded. ‘ _Of course, I’ll come. Your band is really getting popular, isn’t it?_ ’

He scratched the back of his head and chuckled. “Yeah, sort of. Just locally, though so it’s not like I expect it to sell out.”

‘ _It just might. Your last one did, didn’t it?_ ’

“Well, that was different. Smaller venue.”

A hand raised and flicked his brother. ‘ _Doesn’t matter. It sold out and this one will be the same. I’ll invite some people and the scout will love it and before you know it you’ll be a big, famous musician._ ’

“That’s the dream, Eri.” He ruffled Eridan’s hair, earning hands swatting at him with a big huff before he stomped out and finished getting ready for school, a breakfast sandwich greeting him when he emerged from his room. He scooped it up and ate quickly, grabbing the three extra tickets from Cronus on his way out the door. Halfway down the driveway across the street was Karkat, alone this morning with a scowl as always.

“Morning, asshole,” he said, as close to cheerful as he was physically able to be. A crimson eye focused on the papers in his hand. “What are those?”

Eridan glanced down, pulling out his sketchbook, the ruined page missing, and writing quickly.

_Tickets to my brother’s concert. I’ve got three extras. Want to come?_

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “I think Kankri said something about that this morning, but sure. I mean, fuck, free concert. Hopefully, your brother doesn’t suck as bad as this as he does at getting a date, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for now.” After a moment of turning the ticket in his hands, he looked up again. “So, you feeling better today? You’re out of the house at a decent time at least.”

He took a moment to think before shrugging.

_Sort of? I don’t want to sink into the bed anymore, but I still didn’t exactly want to leave it._

“Well, at least you did. That’s more than some assnuggets can say at least.” He nudged him down the road, walking to the school with his signature scowl firmly in place, though he seemed less tense than yesterday. A jolt of guilt tied knots in Eridan’s stomach, the twitch of his face drawing Karkat’s attention, though he thankfully didn’t say anything.

 Eridan walked beside him, looking at the last two tickets. He had a pretty good idea of who to invite, but he wasn’t sure they would even take the tickets, much less come to the concert. The school loomed in front of him, threatening the energy he’d managed to reclaim from yesterday. He tensed his shoulders and stepped inside, walking quickly to the library, and taking his usual seat. It wasn’t long before Dave and John joined them, the Strider immediately taking a seat beside Karkat and talking to him. Eridan could practically feel the awkward tension between them, rolling his eyes at the pathetic flirting. For a “romance expert” Karkat was failing pretty miserably at it now.

Dave fished out a few colorful slips of paper much like the ones in Eridan’s bag. “Well, my bro plays drums for this band sometimes and I’ve got a few VIP passes…” he trailed off, looking at the slip between Karkat’s fingers. “Er…you’ve got one?”

Karkat flushed, looking at it. “Um…” he seemed at a loss for words, something Eridan doubted he’d ever see again. “Yeah…Ampora’s brother gave him a few. I can- he could find someone else I’m pretty fucking sure-”

The Strider shook his head, shoving a ticket into John’s hand. “Nah, it’s fine. Same concert, doesn’t matter. I’ll give ‘em to Rose and Jade. They’ll have fun.”

Eridan couldn’t help feeling a little bad about the situation, but he just ducked his head to try and ignore the conversation. Though he wondered briefly if the “Bro” Dave was talking about was Mr. Strider. That would certainly be interesting if he was in the band, if a bit weird.

He was grateful when the bell rang, jumping to his feet and rushing to his first period. Karkat slipped in a few minutes later, looking at the desk when he sat down. Eridan shoved a paper toward him, frowning.

_I’m sorry. I was just told to invite friends._

Karkat shook his head a bit, sighing and sounding tired. “It’s fine. We’re gonna meet up beforehand or something.”

_So…are the two of you…_

He grimaced, tapping his fingers against the table with a little frown. “Not as far as I know. If he wants to get off his ass and ask me then sure, but until that happens, no.”

Eridan found it a little funny, the way everyone was seeming to find someone. He didn’t really expect anything like that for himself. Who’d want to deal with the problems he’d bring to the table after all?

Class was easier today, his mind less clouded and his energy easier to hold onto. Notes flowed smoothly from his pen, which seemed like a feather compared to the lead it’d been yesterday. Though he was still tired, his mind still not entirely clear, he felt like he had a better hold on his mood today. He stood when the bell rang, slinging his bag over his shoulder with a little sigh. At least swimming wasn’t until third period, though he still wasn’t looking forward to dealing with Vriska.

Art was busy with new projects, these ones Halloween themed. Nepeta was already making a mask, much like a cat skull with ears, and Eridan didn’t have a clue what to do. Most of the class seemed to be making bit and pieces to costumes, or even designing jack-o-lanterns to carve for the holiday. Eridan had never been big on holidays, aside from things like Christmas that his dad had company parties for. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling, frowning to himself as he tried to think of what he could make. Another painting seemed like a simple solution, though for now it was a mindless sketch. A tall gate and a tall house, black against the horizon with eyes glowing from the windows. A figure stood in the front doorway, broad-shouldered and intimidating. Eridan grimaced, setting his pencil down and going to find a canvas for the painting.

By the time class ended he’d gotten the basic lines transferred to the canvas and was carefully outlining the shapes in their respective colors. Nepeta seemed to be having a field day with her mask, a dozen reference pictures scattered over her desk. When the ringing of the bell sounded, she looked disappointed to leave it, setting it carefully on a high shelf Eridan still wasn’t sure how she reached. He let himself tense, trying to force his back to straighten despite his hunching shoulders. It wasn’t that he was scared of the Serket, though he certainly wasn’t fond of her. He simply didn’t want to deal with her bullshit.

Luckily, he was able to avoid her and duck into the locker room, then the pool. She didn’t seem too interested in bothering him today, irritation evident on her face as she swam. He was just glad she wasn’t taking it out on him, given her amazing track record when it came to him.

He let his mind drift throughout the class and into his next one, only focusing again when he found himself in the overly crowded cafeteria. The noise was deafening as always, people pressing from all sides as he forced his way to his usual table. Karkat was ranting about something, like he’s ever not, and Gamzee was slumped over the table with a dazed look and one hand absentmindedly petting the fluffy mohawk of the boy next to him. He didn’t seem to mind though; a large book open in front of him as he ate a sandwich and occasionally offered a chip to the distracted Makara.

Eridan sat down, flipping open his sketchbook and doodling until Karkat dragged him into line for food. He was like a very aggressive mother hen, but the concern was genuine at least.

School lunch was better than normal with a baked potato and vegetables, but even the best school lunch was still just that. Nevertheless, he ate it, all the while listening to voices bounce around him. Occasionally, he almost cut in but by the time he was done writing they would have moved on, and the only person who knew signing was currently face first on the lunch table and in no way on this physical plain. So, he kept to himself, getting up when lunch was over and walking to class. Mr. Captor gave him a quick greeting, but they were starting a new lesson today and Eridan was completely sure that he had no clue what was going on. He’d have to talk to Sollux about this before he fell too far behind, the numbers flying like birds over his head with no hope of returning so he could make sense of them.

Mrs. Leijon was handing out essay rubrics, detailing the final project on their current book, a note on the bottom warning them of the one they’d start next week. Eridan shoved the papers in his bag and curled up to finish reading, flipping through his notes to start gathering quotes. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to writing an essay, but it couldn’t be that hard, could it?

The final two classes went by quickly, Biology still prepping for the dissection and physics was… physics. There wasn’t much else to say on that class, other than Mr. Strider had about three times his normal energy, with absolutely none of it finding its way into his voice.

As Eridan stepped out of the building, he looked down at the tickets in his hand and quickly made his decision before trudging down the familiar path to the Captor’s house. A knock brought Mituna once again running to the door and dragging Eridan inside, all the while yelling to Sollux that “his boyfriend” was here.

Sollux slumped down the stairs, looking even more tired than he had yesterday. He raised an eyebrow at Eridan and sprawled across the couch to effectively claim it as his own. Eridan gave him a glare and pushed his feet off the couch to take a seat, only to end up with those very feet in his lap. Mituna was already distracted with a game, though he would occasionally look over his shoulder to see if Eridan was watching. He fiddled with the tickets in his hands, folding a piece of paper into an airplane.

It hit Sollux square in the nose, causing him to jump and almost crumple it, though he stopped when he saw the words scrawled across it. Unfolding it, he glanced at Eridan with a confused expression at the ticket that had been tucking between the wings.

_My brother has a concert this weekend and told me to invite people. I still don’t know that many people, so do you want to come?_

Sollux seemed to consider it and Eridan was almost afraid he’d tear it up, but he only shrugged. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

There was a spark of happiness in Eridan’s chest when he heard that, though he couldn’t explain it. He hid it behind another paper landing on Sollux’s chest.

_Do you think Mituna would want to come too? It might be good for him to get out of the house._

Sollux paused, again confused but this time Eridan didn’t know why he would be. He glanced from Eridan to his brother for a moment. “Tuna.”

“Yeah?” the other called over his shoulder, eyes never leaving the screen.

“Eridan invited uth to a conthert. You want to go?”

Mituna paused the game and spun around, head tilted. “I can go?!”

“You’d have to athk Dad but yeah probably.”

He grinned widely and shot to his feet, hopping over the coffee table and taking the extra ticket from Eridan’s hands with an excited giggle. “I _never_ get to go anywhere!”

“That’th becauthe you’re a pain in the ath,” Sollux muttered, but there was an unmistakable smile on his face. He sat up and plucked the ticket from Mituna’s grasp. “But I’ll hold onto that, jutht in cathe.”

Mituna’s whine at the loss was interrupted by a quiet but firm knock. The older Captor paused, a grin lighting his face as the knock rang again, slightly louder but still the same deliberate noise. He darted to the front door as Eridan stood, stretching a bit.

_I just came by to give you those tickets, but I kind of need some help with Calculus too. It’s a new concept._

Sollux sighed, getting up and beckoning Eridan to follow him upstairs. However, when he tried to leave the room he found his path blocked by a figure that towered over him completely. A mess of wild black hair hung over a dark face covered in paint, carefully outlining scars around his lips. He tilted his head, hands emerging from the pockets of his skeleton hoodie. ‘ _So, you’re the little Ampora. It’s a pleasure to meet you._ ’

Eridan froze, taking a few steps back from the tall figure and swallowing hard before he signed back. ‘ _I take it you’re Kurloz? Mituna’s mentioned you before._ ’

He simply nodded, his expression curious, though concern lit in his eyes at the fearful tremors Eridan couldn’t help. Sollux grabbed Eridan’s arm, pulling him upstairs and pulling out the notes they needed. It wasn’t that Kurloz seemed mean or scary, but the surprise of the towering figure was enough to spook him at this point.

Sollux sat beside him on the floor, pointing out the flaws in his work and correcting him in that snarky voice of his. And if he noticed the way Eridan’s hands shook slightly, or the way they calmed when Sollux’s warm shoulder leaned against his as he talked, he didn’t say anything. And Eridan was perfectly okay with that.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, have this one a little early to make up for the last one being late.

Eridan leaned back against his chair, the eraser of his pencil clamped between his teeth as he stared at the ceiling. The memory of warmth still painted his arm, a flutter moving through his chest with the need to curl up against it. Part of him wanted to shove the memory into the back of his mind, the corners where the shreds of his childhood were packed like sardines, the flecks occasionally floating their way to the front to steal Eridan’s thoughts and breath. However, there was a remainder that clung to the idea of safety the warmness put forth. It was a fragile offer, a glass bauble easily shattered by any wrong move.

He’d never been used to help, to support being wrapped around him and keeping him standing when all he wanted to do was fall. At some level, he could understand it. Cronus was his brother and though his family hadn’t done much for him, his sibling at the least had always cared and tried to help. Karkat seemed to treat everyone like this, offering a crutch to anyone who so much as sighed in his direction, however aggressive he might be about it. Even Jade seemed friendly all around, her friends following with varying amounts of sarcasm and ‘coolness’. So, where did Sollux come in?

It wasn’t as though they’d ever been close, quite the opposite in fact. The anger that buzzed angrily between them had calmed to a lightly humming irritation, leaving Eridan still unable to decode why he felt so…safe around Sollux. He could expect prickling comments, but never the sharp pain of insults meant to cut. It was a mess of bickering wherever the two of them were involved, but none of the nerves that other people gave him. Sollux didn’t treat him differently or hold back because he couldn’t talk, but maybe that was the appeal of talking to him. It was one of the few times he could feel…normal.

Eridan was jolted out of his thoughts by the resounding _THUD_ as a book dropped onto the desk beside him. Karkat had slammed his textbook onto wooden surface, raising an eyebrow at him. “Finally, back in the world of the living? Enjoy your fucking trip?”

A flush lit his face when he glanced at the clock, realizing just how long he’d spent spaced out.

_Sorry. Just distracted._

“So…you gave Captor one of the other tickets, right?”

Warmth flooded over his shoulder again, moving to color the tips of his ears. Karkat stared at him suspiciously, his eyes slowly widening. “What the fuck, Eridan? What’s with the school girl blush?”

Eridan shrugged, looking at the blank page in front of him.

“What happened yesterday?”

He only offered another shrug. _I gave him the ticket and he tutored me. It was a pretty typical afternoon._

“Uh huh. And that’s why you won’t look at me? Come on, asshole, I’m not going to make fun of- okay that’s a lie. I’ll never fuckin let you live it down, but still.”

There was glare between the two of them before Eridan sighed and hunched over his sketchbook.

_This might come as a surprise, Karkat, but this whole ‘supportive people’ thing is kinda new to me. Hell, back home I pretty much only had Fef. I’m just getting used to stuff, I guess._

Karkat was easy to ‘talk’ to, or at least easy to trust. He wore his heart on his sleeve, not holding back anything for the sake of politeness and aggressively caring for those lucky enough to be his friends. Loud and abrasive, he still managed to poke his way through the barriers that Eridan had lived with for years.

Silence sat as an unwelcome guest between them for a while, Karkat leaning back in his chair. “I get that. And it’s not like Captor has much of a reputation for being anything close to a shoulder to cry on. What’d he do, though? Hug you or something?”

Eridan rolled his eyes. _No. Just didn’t react like a total asshole when I had a little bit of a… moment._ He thought back to the moment, sighing softly. Bickering and sarcasm were their norm, not… whatever this was. Walls were placed cautiously up, the sudden warmth sounding almost fake, though Sollux hadn’t seemed to have an ulterior motive.

“As much as he is a total shitstain, he’s not- well, he kinda seemed to hate you but I don’t think he does anymore? Either way, he’s not a horrible dickbag. Especially for mental stuff. Has enough experience to fill a fucking ocean, even if he doesn’t act like it.”

He pressed his fingers to his temples, shrugging as the bell rang. At least art wouldn’t be too stressful.

It was easy to get lost in his work, the paintbrush gliding over the canvas as he let himself hyper focus on every stroke. The house was rising against the white, brick by dark brick with doors and windows left blank, their glow to be added later. He tried to ignore the familiar twisting of the gate, the ornate arch above the front door. The house that from a picture would seem large and open, wide rooms and open spaces, sat in his memories lined with shadows and figures to hide around corners from. Harsh voices and slamming doors echoed through the halls into a deafening shriek that Eridan did his damnedest to quiet as he worked. When the bell pulled at his attention, his eyes caught the figure whose shadow stood pure black against the portrait. Details were hard to discern, as small as the figure was compared to the rest of the painting, but bright, slitted eyes stared out, one a bright blue and the other a blank white. Two jagged white lines crossed the paintings face, the only distinguishable features about him.

At least here, there was no one who knew enough to ask questions. He slipped the canvas onto a drying rack and turned to Nepeta, who had donned her unpainted mask and was currently perched on her desk with a little smirk. Upon noticing his gaze, she pounced, although Eridan was able to sidestep it easily enough.

The routine of classes was slowly falling into place, simple and predictable. The schedule was a safe path where he didn’t have to worry about stepping out of line, given that he knew where the line lay. It was easy to fall into, a chance to relax enough to not be suspicious of every person that so much as looked at him.

He toed the path carefully through his classes, each hour adding comfort as he moved through his day. Vriska had cornered him for a moment at the end of swimming, looking down her nose as she spoke. Her tone held something he couldn’t quite place, though he’d heard it almost every time Fef had managed to drag him out of the house. It was as though she didn’t quite believe he couldn’t speak, her close blue eye glinting. For a moment, all he saw was a black doorway, cold blue and white glaring out. He broke away from her, heading to class though speech drawing no attention as usual.

Lunch was laughter, bickering, and friendships. Grumpy voices nudging him into the lunch line and poking until he shoveled down the food the trays offered. Classes followed their routines, though Biology was interesting, with the dissection and all. Jade seemed entirely too excited, insisting on handling the scalpel, which he didn’t entirely mind. He was in charge of recording information, watching carefully.

The day ended with physics, the worksheet today mostly math. It was done, the student’s left, and Eridan found his feet walking to Sollux’s house.

And so, the cycle continued.

Friday was the same, though Cronus was, for the second time that week, gone when Eridan awoke. He caught sight of the ticket sitting on his desk, nerves winding in his stomach as he imagined just how much noise he was going to be bombarded with the following day. He steeled himself against the rising sick feeling, trudging to school with his jaw set as he shut the apprehension away the best he could.

Karkat’s questions continued, mostly curious about how things had changed between Eridan and Sollux. Eridan guessed they were friends now, but things had never been clear when it came to him. It didn’t make it easier when Sollux’s moods jerked around, though he seemed pretty stable the past couple of days. Still, he didn’t understand what Karkat’s interest was. Maybe because Sollux and him were good friends?

Either way, much as he liked ‘talking’ to Karkat it was nice to lose himself in painting again. Halloween was in a little over a week, so he knew he needed to get it done by then, but it wouldn’t be that difficult. He added detailing to the lawn around the house, eerily perfect and smooth.

It was hard to leave his painting, but it was even harder to avoid the Serket who had taken an unpleasant interest in him. He felt like she knew something, he just didn’t know what, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

Speech passed without a hitch, though he skipped another round of “Twenty Questions” by absconding to the library. He curled up on a bean bag tucked into a corner, propping a book on his knees and ignoring the fact that he should be hungry, but he wasn’t.

Calculus didn’t do much to lessen the tension, the anxiety from that morning trying to break loose as Eridan tossed it again to the back of his mind. It didn’t stay there for long, creeping around him as he passed between classes again.

Ms. Leijon’s energy distracted him as she darted around the class to look over and advise their essays. Eridan was almost embarrassed to show the meager outline he’d scrawled, though she seemed plenty happy with the start. She gave him a few pointers, her hands moving quickly and though Eridan normally enjoyed the energetic teachers that kept his attention, occasionally they overwhelmed him. And he had two more classes.

Luckily, Ms. Lalonde seemed more mellow today, putting on a video and assigning mostly bookwork. Strider was as strange as ever, his energy levels through the roof. By the time the final bell rang he was far too exhausted to even think about tutoring, instead heading home to find an empty house.

A lump hardened in his throat, his feet carrying him to his room, to his bed. He could curl up, wrap a blanket around him so he could ignore the gaping emptiness of the home around him. When he heard the door open he darted out of the room, his arms wrapping around his brother as soon as he saw him.

“Whoa, Eri,” he huffed, stumbling as the teenager crashed into him. “What’s the matter? Whose ass needs kicking?”

Eridan couldn’t help his smile, stepping back. ‘ _Just a little weird with no one else in the house. How was practice?_ ’

Concern lit Cronus’s eyes, his voice tentative as he answered Eridan with a simple, “Good. Are you sure you’re okay? I was tryin to get back as quick as I could I-” ‘Don’t want you on your own. Don’t trust you to be alone again. Don’t know what will happen.’ He could almost hear the ways Cronus could finish that thought, though was glad that he didn’t.

Eridan glanced away, the aching loneliness an empty house presented suffocating at best and crushing at worse. Still, a plastered-on smile was turned towards his brother. ‘ _I’m fine. I promise._ ’

The next morning was a groggy mess of energy, with Cronus shaking Eridan awake. “Get up, Eri. The band’s meeting here and we’ll probably grab something to eat. If your friends want a ride they’d better figure that out quick, because I’ll be drivin.” Eridan couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his brother so excited about something, save for when he bought his car.

He pulled himself out of bed, throwing on something comfortable and spending an ungodly amount of time styling his hair to perfection. If he was going to support his family he was going to look good doing it.

By the time he’d emerged, several people had gathered in the living room. Eridan stood in the doorway, not wanting to get trapped among the crowd of strangers. Instrument cases and equipment littered the room, most of it being checked over by a man with a pair of goggles and a ponytail. Against the far wall was Kurloz, his painted face familiar as he spoke to…Gamzee? He’d guess they were brothers, though Kurloz was certainly the creepier of the two. A girl also stood beside them, her insanely fluffy and white hearing aids sticking out against her dark hair.

Mr. Strider was perched on the arm of the couch, talking to the goggled man, though that was the last familiar face. A girl with long twin braids sprawled across the armchair, talking on the phone until she noticed Eridan in the door way.

“Ay, the guppy’s up,” she said, rolling off the furniture and barely landing on her feet. “Don’t look much like y _oar_ br _otter_ , do ya?” She chuckled when he shook his head, leaning against the wall. “Be glad for that. Who’d wanna look like that poser?” A smirk lit her lips as a voice rang out behind her.

“I would have to disagree with that last statement, Meenah,” Kankri stated, his arms crossed as he exited the kitchen with Cronus not far behind. “I do not believe anything is wrong with Cronus’s appearance.”

“ _Whale_ of c _oar_ se you wouldn’t, KanFish. He’s your _bouyfrond_.”

A flush colored Kankri’s cheeks. “He- I- _First of all_ , that is absolutely none of your business and second of all that fact, whether true or not, would have no correlation to what I think of his looks. There is more to a relationship than physical attractiveness, Meenah.” He turned on his heel and hurried back into the kitchen, Meenah cackling a bit after him.

Cronus rolled his eyes at her, running a hand through his hair. “Hush, Peixes, and get your stuff packed into Makara’s truck. I think pretty much everyone’s here.”

“My cousin ain’t.”

“Well it’s not like I’m sending you across town. If your stuff isn’t ready to go it’s getting left behind.”

She blew a bubble of gum at him, popping it and grabbing a guitar case before slumping out the door.

A knock caught everyone’s attention, Cronus waving a tall man with red tipped hair away from the door as he opened it.

“I collected the other assholes Eridan invited.” Karkat stepped in, beelining for Eridan and glaring at him. “Because someone couldn’t get up and walk with me.”

Eridan gave a semi apologetic shrug, looking up to see Mituna frozen in the doorway. Him and Cronus were glaring at each other, hostility almost sending sparks flying around. Sollux managed to redirect Mituna to Kurloz, who greeted him with a close-lipped smile. Kankri emerged to find Cronus bristling, sighing and pulling him to the side.

Sollux padded across the living room, rolling his eyes. “I forgot how much of a pain thothe two are.”

He couldn’t help but he confused, but Sollux took pity on him. “Mituna took a few college courtheth a couple thummerth back. Him and your brother were at each otherth throatth conthtantly and … I gueth old hateth never die.”

Eridan felt a little bad, but he was still happy he’d invited Mituna. He’d been so excited, it was impossible to regret.

The next hour was spent playing Tetris between the cars to fit all the equipment, the people piling in afterwards. Mituna had opted to ride with Kurloz, not coming within ten feet of Cronus ever. Kankri rode with Cronus, sticking Karkat, Sollux and Eridan in the backseat as if they could go well. Eridan ended up in the middle with a sharp elbow pressing against his ribs. It was a relief to pour out of the car, the restaurant staff leading them to a reserved set of table. Looks like someone had thought ahead.

He found out quite a bit about the other band members over that meal. Apparently, they’d met in college, where Cronus and Meenah had dated for a short time, though they broke up a short time after the band was formed. Things didn’t seem sour between them, but Eridan tried to avoid the subject.

The man who’d been looking over the equipment introduced himself as Horuss, seeming to be very quiet. The other man was nowhere near quiet, shaking Eridan’s hand firmly and grinning while he introduced himself as Rufioh. He was a keyboarder, while Horuss handled most of the tech stuff.

Meenah took the opportunity to introduce herself again, bragging about her position as a bass player, which apparently was Kurloz’s instrument as well. Strider played drums, most people taking background vocal parts while Cronus handled most of the singing, while playing guitar.

About halfway through lunch, Meenah stood up. “ _Fin_ ally, the little _gill_ ’s here.”

The tinkling of the bell above the door rang through the front area, a familiar voice following it. “Eri _fin_?”

Eridan jumped out of his chair, stumbling to turn and look at the grinning girl. ‘ _Fef?_ ’

She ran at him, hugging him tightly before taking the seat beside him. “Oh my _cod_ , it’s so good to _sea_ you again! I’ve missed you so much, it’s been so lonely in the city! And this place is so pretty.” She gasped. “You have to show me around this weekend. And introduce me to your _fronds_!”

Eridan chuckled, nodding. He introduced her to Karkat and Sollux, frowning a bit at the pink in her cheeks when she introduced herself to the latter. It was probably nothing.

After lunch they piled into their respective cars again, though Feferi had her license and insisted Eridan ride with her. It was nice to have her around again, to laugh and joke like they used to. It felt safe, it felt like home.

Everyone pitched in to help unload and set up the equipment, the non-band members filing to the VIP section to chat until the concert started. As people piled in and lights went down, Eridan felt tension rising in him again. He ignored it, or tried to. He was fine, he could do this.


	17. Chapter 17

The VIP section seemed nice enough, being separated and giving Eridan a bit of elbow room, though there were still too many people for him to be entirely comfortable. He perked up a bit at the familiar voice of Jade chattering in the corner, looking over to see Karkat moving toward the group. Dave pushed off the wall, leaving Rose in the middle of Jade and John’s discussion. It was impossible to hear what they were saying, the sound pressing around him uncomfortably.

He jumped at Mituna suddenly yelling in excitement, taking off through the people to tackle a girl across the way. Eridan frowned, almost stepping after him in concern before Sollux grabbed his arm. “It’th fine. Trutht me.”

Within moments, the girl had jumped up with Mituna in her arms, grinning widely. Bright red hair was just a little mussed, even brighter glasses sitting in red rectangles at the end of her nose. She pressed a quick kiss to his nose, letting him drag her back to his brother.

“Yo, Captor 2.0!” she crowed, making both teens flinch. Sollux grimaced and raised his hand, letting her give him a high five that sounded painful, though the Captor barely flinched. He looked used to it.

“Hey, Latula,” he sighed, sounding tired as she glanced at Eridan.

Eridan gave her a quick wave. ‘ _Hello. My name is Eridan, it’s nice to meet you_.’ He figured being polite couldn’t hurt, though the confused look on her face wasn’t promising.

Latula glanced at Mituna, eyebrow raised. “Babe?”

Mituna seemed to be having a laughing fit, though Eridan wasn’t sure what was funny. “He’th Eridan. He’th like Kurloth, but he’th Tholluxth’th boyfriend- “

“Mituna!” Sollux huffed. “I’m hith math tutor. Hell, we’re not even really friendth!”

“Wait wait,” Latula cut them both off, looking at Eridan with wide eyes. “Eridan? You mean Ampora’s little bro?”

He nodded a little, frowning. He knew he didn’t look like his brother, or his father, but it didn’t make it better to have it constantly pointed out.

“Never would have guessed. I mean, he’s never been too friendly toward Tuna, but you two seem fine.” She raised a hand for a high five. “Gimme some skin.”

Eridan couldn’t deny he was a little nervous after seeing how hard her high fives were, but he raised his palm anyway. She slapped her hand against his, the sound of skin on skin ringing out. It wasn’t as hard as he’d thought it would be, but he still winced slightly as his hand throbbed. She threw an arm around Mituna’s shoulders, starting to walk away while giving a short wave to the teens they left behind.

“…jutht be glad she didn’t break your hand,” Sollux muttered, rolling his eyes. “Her and Mituna have been together forever, but damn both of them are exthauthting.” He glanced behind them, eyes widening slightly at the crowd that was filing in. Many of them looked extremely excited, some even wearing shirts with the bands name, or members, branded across it. As much as Cronus insisted they were still small, it was obvious that they had quite a few fans and they’d be gaining more tonight.

He felt happy for the band, though it was a little irritating to hear people not ten feet away squealing about his brother. From the way Kankri was standing, stiff and cross-armed, Eridan was almost certain he felt the same way. However, it was hard not to let the energy sweep him up, bringing a grin to his face as he looked impatiently to the stage.

Sollux looked bored beside him, his eyes darting over to Mituna every few moments, the elder still wrapped around his girlfriend. Jade bounded over, John and Rose in tow, and gave Eridan a buck-toothed smile.

“This is so exciting!” she chirped, shifting from one foot to another with endless energy. Eridan swore if she had a tail it’d be going a mile a minute right now.

Before she could say anymore, the lights dimmed and a figure walked out onto the stage just as someone slammed into him from the side. He lost his breath to the blow, taking a moment to refill his lungs and glance at the girl leaning against him. Her bulky, pink-rimmed glasses were skewed from the tackle, her chocolate eyes shining with mischief beyond the lenses. She grinned at him, sticking her tongue out at his disapproving glare until he joined her in a fit of giggles. He could never stay mad at her for long. She planted herself firmly between him and Sollux, waving at the Captor and doing her best to drag him into conversation until a spotlight lit up the woman standing in the center of the stage.

She was tall already, but wore heels anyway, a long black dress hugging her all the way to the floor. Tattoos swirled over exposed skin, silver piercings glittering along her ears and face, with black hair cascading to her waist. “Good evening,” she said, resting one hand on her hip while the other held her microphone. “How is everyone tonight?”

The answering cheer was almost deafening, though Eridan’s cringe seemed to go unnoticed, thankfully.

“Well, I’d like to thank you all for coming out tonight. I’m sure our performers are just as excited as you all are. Now. I think it’s about time we got this show started? What do you think?”

Eridan covered his ears to muffle the frantic shrieking, earning a glance from Feferi that was quickly lost as she turned her attention back to the boy beside her. Luckily, these cheers seemed to satisfy the woman on stage and she grinned.

“Then I am proud to present _Beforus_!” With a dramatic wave of her arm, she swept off the stage as the curtains lifted. The crowd’s reaction was instantaneous and nearly unbearable, even with Eridan’s palms firmly covering his ears as he adjusted to the noise.

Cronus greeted the fans with an almost flirty grin, though he threw a wink in Kankri’s direction that had a blush rising on the others face. It was obvious he was born to be on stage, grabbing everyone’s attention from the first note.

The band itself seemed like an odd mashup, none of the pieces seeming to fit together. On stage it didn’t matter, though, because the music melded into its own separate being. What drew the fans was clear, the lyrics, vocals and music intertwining and enrapturing anyone within earshot.

Eridan tried to focus on the stage, listening to the music he’d heard practiced at three a.m. since his childhood, the songs he’d seen scrawled in notebooks, the reason his brother had finally left home. They were good songs, and this was the perfect group to bring them to life.

While the music was playing, the audience was suitably quiet, aside from those singing along, but between songs is when the voices would start up again. People discussing the band members, the music, the concert, and though Eridan was proud that his brother’s band had a fanbase at all, the conversations occasionally toed the line between enthusiastic and annoying. He couldn’t blame them though, knowing most of his irritation was building from the uncomfortable noise level that weighed on him like a thick blanket. He grimaced as the crowd pressed against the flimsy line separating the VIP’s from the others, the already limited space feeling even smaller as he hunched his shoulders against the encroaching fans.

By the middle of the concert, a surge of movement rolled through the crowd, the line quickly crossed as Eridan found himself squeezed between friends and strangers. Surprise had him stumbling, falling back against people he didn’t know. Hands pushed him upright, though a particularly rough pair shoved him away with enough force for him to stumble the other way. His chest felt tight, his arms wrapping around himself as he stared at the bits of floor he could see through shuffling feet. Music, light and people melted into his senses, threatening to overtake him as it trapped him in the too small space.

Some part of him registered his name being called, though he didn’t look up even as an arm hooked around his and began weaving him through the people. His eyes stayed down, almost closed as he forced down the sick feeling that had risen in his throat. This was a concert, something a lot of people his age went to. Why couldn’t he handle this? Why couldn’t he be a good brother and support Cronus for one lousy concert without fucking things up?

The hand pulled him past the VIP doors, toward the back and up the stairs. Eridan assumed it was Karkat, though by this point he’d expect some loud ranting or at the very least one of his patented insults. Instead, what he got was cool air greeting him as a heavy metal door swung open. He looked up, eyes widening slightly when he saw Sollux plopping down on the concrete roof. The lights from the concert danced through the skylight, the music easily following as Eridan took a hesitant seat beside him.

They sat in silence, staring at the skylight and listening to the music as Eridan wondered if they were allowed to be up here. Sollux sighed and crossed his arms, glancing over at Eridan’s slowly relaxing form. “Better?”

Eridan stiffened again and nodded a little, though he didn’t want to look at him. He heard a huff and warmth against his arm as the other teen scooted closer. “It wath way too fucking crowded in there,” Sollux muttered. “I should actually thank you for giving me a reathon to get out of here.”

He rolled his eyes, pulling his phone from his pocket. _What about Mituna?_

“He’th fine. Latula’th with him and she’d kick anyone’th ath if they tried to meth with him. He knowth everyone around him, tho he shouldn’t have too much of a problem.”

_Then why didn’t you bail beforehand? I mean if it was a problem you didn’t have to come._

“And let Mituna go alone? No way. But he’th fine and…er I wath jutht kinda dealing with it but you looked kinda thick.”

_Well yeah. Some of the squealing assholes pushed me. Ugh I felt like I was suffocating in there._

Sollux chuckled. “Thame. Jutht imagine how bad it’th gonna be when they hit the big timeth.”

_You think they’re gonna?_

“No shit. Ath much of an athhole ath your brother ith, the band’th pretty good.”

Eridan smirked. _Want me to get you an autograph?_

He stuck his tongue out at him. “No. I might get a CD but that’th it. Like I need your brother’th greathy thignature.”

They shared a laugh, quieting to listen to the music again. It was a lot nicer like this, though he knew the concert was winding to an end and soon he’d have to go downstairs. He pulled his knees to his chest and enjoyed the peaceful moment while it lasted.

He almost toppled over when Sollux stood, glaring up at him but taking the offered hand to stand. As they got down the stairs, he could hear the roaring cheers as the band members retreated backstage. Cronus looked concerned, talking quickly to the woman who’d introduced until he saw Eridan. There was a moment before Cronus had him tugged into a hug, stepping back after a moment.

“You okay? What were you- were you on the roof?” He frowned, shooting a glare at Sollux.

“Calm your titth,” Sollux huffed. “It got too loud for him tho I took him up there to calm down. It’th not a big deal.”

Eridan rolled his eyes but nodded at Cronus, arms crossing. Guilt swirled in his stomach, his shoulders falling as he wished Cronus hadn’t worried about him. If he’d stayed in the audience the other wouldn’t have been concerned. When had he noticed his absence? Had it affected the performance at all? His lips pursed for a moment until he felt an elbow press into his side.

He glanced at Sollux, who had an eyebrow raised, and rolled his eyes before shooting Cronus a little grin. ‘ _Yeah I just needed a break. I could still hear the music though. You guys did great. That record deal is in the bag._ ’

Cronus’s frown only lasted a second before he broke into a grin. “Hell yeah it is! I think that was one of the best performances we’ve ever had.” Behind him, the band was exchanging high fives and Kurloz was giving the others particularly enthusiastic thumbs up. The VIPs were pouring into the backstage area, the fluffy haired girl with hearing aids pouncing into Kurloz’s arms and wrapping him in a tight hug.

Mituna still had his arm hooked with Latula, chattering loudly about how great the concert had been “dethpite the lead thinger being a dick.” She chuckled, pulling him towards Kurloz while Karkat made a beeline for Eridan with Dave and his crew following behind.

“Where the fuck did you two dickguzzlers flounce off to?” he huffed, his arms tightly crossed in front of him. “One second we’re all listening to the ear-destroying fuck all and the next you and Sollux are sneaking off for who the fuck knows what and-” he was cut off by a pale hand covering his mouth, his brother standing behind him with a disapproving glare.

“Karkat, really. That is incredibly rude, not to mention your language is entirely too vulgar for a public setting. Your friend was obviously upset by something which he might not be eager to divulge to an entire room of people so you would do well to- _KARKAT VANTAS_!”

The elder pulled away with a disgusted look, wiping his hand on his pants. “That is disgusting! Why on Earth would you-”

“I couldn’t breathe, you asshat!” Karkat huffed.

“So, you,” Kankri shuddered, “Lick my hand?”

“It made you get off me, didn’t it?”

“That may be so, but it is still not an appropriate response. Honestly Karkat, when are you going to grow up?”

“Maybe when you stop acting like you’re my dad!” With that, Karkat tore out of the building and silence fell across the room.

Dave muttered something under his breath before disappearing after him, leaving everyone bewildered or concerned. Or, in Kankri’s case, hurt.

Cronus took a step towards Kankri, putting a hand on his shoulder that was quickly shrugged off. “I’m fine, Cronus,” he said in a watery voice. “I just…think it’d be best if I went home. I’d look for Karkat but…I’m fairly certain the young Mr. Strider would have more luck in that endeavor than I would.” Cronus still almost followed him out the door, the woman from before stopping him.

“You need to stay here with the rest of the band,” she said, standing between him and the door. “In case the scout comes back here, or if anyone bought a backstage pass. I’ll make sure he gets home alright and we can…handle this tomorrow. It won’t do anyone any good for you to go running off too.”

The look on his face was pained, but he nodded after a long moment. “Thanks, Porrim.”

She sighed before striding out the door, the click of her heels slowly fading. The room was awkwardly silent for another minute before Cronus took a breath. “She’s right guys. Right now we need to be here with a good attitude for our fans. Now let’s go sign some autographs, alright?”

Nods of agreement slowly appeared across the room, smiles forcing themselves onto faces as they tried to brighten the mood. Eridan felt worry knot in his chest, but he followed the band to the official “backstage” area, where a few fans were bouncing excitedly.

“Cronus!” one of them gasped, wearing the band’s only official shirt, while her friend wore one that was obviously homemade but still nice.

Eridan was a little jealous at the ease of Cronus’s grin, wondering how he could hide the worry that he knew he was feeling. He kept close to his brother, glancing at the unfamiliar people with the slightest of frowns as he tried to force himself not to think about what had just happened.

The first girl glanced at him, raising an eyebrow as she looked him over. “Who’s this?” she asked curiously, giving Eridan a welcoming smile that he didn’t make an effort to return.

Cronus hooked an arm around him, messing up his hair with a grin. “This is my little bro, Eri.”

‘ _My name is not “Eri”’_

“Fine fine. Eridan.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, making the executive decision to step away from the conversation now and curled into a chair to watch the room until it was time to go. He could see people spreading out, and fans favorites were fairly obvious by who they crowded around. Feferi, like himself, quickly got sick of people fawning over Meenah and perched in the chair beside him to glub about whatever, though even with her at his side he didn’t like the crowd. Luckily it didn’t last too long and soon he found himself in the car on the way home. Kurloz had offered to take Mituna and Sollux home, the pair piling into his truck with Latula and Kurloz’s girlfriend, who Eridan found out was named Meulin. Feferi gave him one last hug before hopping into Meenah’s car.

Cronus’s nerves were almost palpable by the time they got home, and they weren’t in the door for ten minutes before Cronus darted across the street to check on Kankri. Eridan sighed, fixing himself a snack in the kitchen before curling up on the couch while some documentary played. He wrapped himself tightly in a blanket and turned up the volume, hoping to fill the house with sound and make it seem less…hollow.

He woke up the next morning in his own bed, though he could have sworn he’d fallen asleep on the couch, with a plethora of missed messages from Karkat and the overwhelming urge to ignore the world. With a huff, he pushed the covers off and sat up, frowning at the screen of his phone before he opened the first message.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm sorry this took so long I've had a lot going on. I'll try to post as often as I can, and I hope I can get onto a somewhat regular schedule for this! Thank you so much for the comments and Kudos, they really mean so much to me!

Eridan sat on the couch, his legs tucked neatly under him and a cup of coffee held in his hands. Karkat sprawled across from him, head thrown back over the arm of the couch with his own cup of coffee already empty and sitting on the table. Silence had sat between them for about an hour now, aside from Eridan’s offer to make coffee and put in a movie. Eridan listened vaguely to _Mean Girls_ as he waited for Karkat to talk, though the stretched-out wait was beginning to wane on him.

Karkat had shown up that morning, after a few walls of grey text that were more metaphor and insult than actual information, with heavy bags under his eyes and a deep scowl. Eridan let him in, sitting across on the couch from him and trying to resist the urge to tap his foot as the silence he couldn’t break grated against his nerves. Was this how it felt when people were trying to help him, waiting for the him to cough up what was wrong and throwing on a mask of patience for the sake of helping? The thought made him grimace at his cup, guilt over his irritation swirling in his stomach.

‘This isn’t about you,’ he told himself, setting his mug on the table a little too harshly. ‘Kar’s helped you since you arrived.’ The words _selfish_ and _pathetic_ rang in his skull, but he shook them away and turned to Karkat, taking a moment to grab a notepad from the table. At some point, Cronus had scattered a few throughout the house. He was still learning after all and didn’t always get what Eridan was signing. It was rare, but for now he was glad to have the paper on hand.

_Are you ready to talk?_

No that sounded too pushy.

_Do you want to talk?_

Still pushy. He didn’t want to make him feel like he had to talk. The pen almost stabbed through the paper as the words disappeared under dark scratches of ink, the opposite end of it finding its way between Eridan’s teeth as he glanced worriedly at Karkat.

‘Just be honest. You’re worried about him, you’re not pushy for worrying,’ a voice in his head that sounded strangely like Feferi chided him. He almost smiled, almost able to hear her annoyed but lighthearted huffs at him. They’d been close since they were young and she’d dragged him from the corner where he was reading at one of his father’s company parties with her bright smile and chipper voice. He hadn’t been very good at sign language or writing back then, he’d only been about six, but she didn’t make a big deal out of it and even took the classes with him. She’d been the one to drag him to summer camp when they were twelve, and to the local pool the following year. It hadn’t been perfect and they’d definitely had their ups and downs, but she was the best friend he could ask for.

He flipped to a new sheet of paper.

_Kar, if you want to talk I’m here._

He awkwardly dropped the paper onto Karkat’s lap, watching the messy haired teen raise his head along with an eyebrow as he read over the note. The other took a sharp breath, letting it out through his teeth and Eridan almost flinched, expecting to get one of Karkat’s patented rants about minding his own business.

“It just gets old,” came a gruff voice, sounding scratchier the quieter he talked. “I’m so sick of him acting like…like he can fucking replace them! He’s not my parent, he’s not that much older than I am! And the nagging just makes it worse, like he has to control every aspect of my damn life. It’s always the same shit. ‘Karkat, what are your grades? Karkat, where are you going? Who are your friends? Have I met them? Well obviously, I have to. Come home right after school, don’t stay out late and I’ll be damned if I let you say one bad fucking word because obviously, you have to be a perfect, polite little 4.0-‘” he cut off, slamming his hands over his face. Eridan was almost surprised at the lack of creative insults, but for some reason it made Karkat sound all the more serious. “Because I have to be like _him_ , but I’m not and I’m never going to be. All I want is for him to back the fuck off and leave me alone, or at least stop acting like he’s my dad.” He wrapped his arms around his knees and glared at the floor. “Just because that bastard wants to avoid the subject and act like everything’s fine doesn’t mean I’m going to follow along and _forget them_ like he wants to!”

Eridan’s eyebrows rose and he gently pulled his paper back into his lap.

_Forget them?_

Karkat glanced around, his teeth worrying is bottom lip until Eridan nudged him.

_Cro ain’t here if that’s what you’re worried about._

The silence only lasted a little longer before Karkat huffed. “Our parents died when I was ten, so I remember it pretty well. Kankri was still an annoying piece of shit back then, but at least he mostly kept his opinions out of my general area, no matter how much flaming shit he spewed to his friends at least the insufferable douchenozzle left me the fuck alone.” He took a deep breath. “…they were missionaries, both of them, so they traveled at least a few months every year. Sometimes Kankri went with them, and I went a couple times, but mostly we stayed with Grandma Rosa when they were gone. It was just a normal trip, I can’t even remember where they were going…somewhere overseas. They weren’t supposed to be back for another week, but I guess they wanted to surprise us. It was…my birthday that week and like the asshole I am I whined about them being gone on my birthday. But…they were coming back early and I guess there was some drunk asshole in a truck and they- they didn’t come back.” He pressed his face into his knees and huffed. “We stayed with our grandma for a while, but as soon as Kankri was eighteen he moved out and took me with him. It’s like he fucking wanted to leave it all behind so he could pretend it didn’t happen! Well guess what, dicknoodle! It happened and I’m not going to ignore it so he can pretend we’re some perfect little family!”

Eridan stared at the other for a moment, unsure of how to help him. He’d never been great at comforting people, no matter how good he was at listening, and he chewed his lip as he thought. Finally, he flipped to a new page, chewing the end of his pen.

_I think Cro is trying the whole parent thing, but he’s not really cut out for it. He did kinda the opposite of Kankri though. As soon as he could he left home and I stayed with Dad._

“Was that after your mom died?” Karkat asked, quickly tensing. “Wait fuck that was a shitty thing to ask forget it. Ignore my shit spewing self.”

Eridan shook his head, patting Karkat’s arm.

_It’s alright, Kar. That wasn’t it, he was just tired of_ … _home. Mom died havin me, but Dad wouldn’t tell me much about her aside from that. Cro doesn’t like talking about her either, so I don’t know much. Not even what she looks like, but I’m sure I look kinda like her. I mean, how else would this be related to Cro and Dad?_

Karkat grimaced. “Shit. Well I can’t really tell you which is worse, remembering them or not, but both fucking suck.” He glared at the television as the credits rolled across the screen, frowning. “Want to put in another movie?”

Eridan nodded, vaguely gesturing at the movie cabinet that was about full now that Eridan’s were added. Karkat picked through the cases, raising an eyebrow at the shelf full of musicals and glancing at Eridan. He raised his hands and shook his head, those were Cronus’s. When they were younger Cronus was the lead in any musical his school did, though that was the only theater he ever did, and he taught Eridan every song even though all he could do was hum along.

Eventually, Karkat stood up with some romance movie buried in Eridan’s collection and changed the disks, sitting down again. “Do you think he’s gonna kick me out?” The question came out of nowhere, far quieter than Eridan had ever heard Karkat speak.

_No._

Karkat frowned, looking down. “But what if he does?”

_Then I_ guess _you can stay here._ Eridan met his eyes with a small smile, earning a eyeroll but a smile from Karkat.

“Well I guess I could put up with your ass if you’re being so goddamn generous about it,” he huffed, leaning back, and letting his attention again focus on the screen. Silence settled between them, though it was comfortable for the time being.

The movie was delightfully cheesy, making both of them tear up as the story unfolded, a box of tissues set between them. Of course, just as the tension between the two was built to the breaking point that was the climax, the door opened to remind them that the outside world was indeed a thing and both teens jumped, Eridan’s hand clamping down on Karkat’s arm.

“Ow fuck what the hell, Ampora! Watch the fucking claws, you shitsniffing velociraptor!”

Eridan quickly let him go, holding his hands up apologetically and looking over at the door. Cronus walked in, his arm hooked through Kankri’s as he pulled the other Vantas inside, although the elder kept his eyes firmly down. Karkat looked like he was about to make a break for the backdoor, so Eridan huffed and poked his shoulder, shaking his head at him and giving his best ‘stay put’ look. Cronus shot Eridan a grateful look, taking a seat at the other end of the couch while Karkat scrambled closer to Eridan though Kankri still ended up sitting right beside him. Neither brother looked thrilled about the development, Karkat’s signature scowl settling into place while Kankri kept his eyes on the floor and his arms firmly across his chest. The movie continued on in the background, though Eridan was sure nobody was paying much attention to it anymore.

The silence grew heavy, weighing on the group though no one said a word until the credits had completed their crawl up the screen.

“Karkat,” Kankri said, his voice almost a whisper though he cleared his throat and repeated himself before carrying on. “I understand that you are upset and I’m aware that…we haven’t spoken as much as we should have, considering that we are family. While I am aware that I do have a tendency to…irritate you, as siblings often do and I am certain that our friends here can attest to that, but I’m not entirely sure what I did this time. But that…does not matter. I _want_ to know why you are upset with me so that we can make this better. I just want to understand you, Karkat. So please, give me the chance to.”

Karkat took a deep breath, his scowl wobbling as Kankri turned to him. “Just so we’re on the same book leaf here, you’re going to actually listen to me this time, right? Not just let me rant until I get sick of the shitstain that is my glorious fucking voice and completely ignore everything I said?”

“Karkat I don’t think that-” Kankri cut of and glanced at Cronus, who’d given him a little nudge with an elbow, “…of course I’ll listen. I’ll do my very best to pay attention to everything you have to say and to help with viable solutions for any and all problems.” He looked at his hands. “I believe that I…have not been taking your feelings into consideration as much as I should be and I’d like to revise that, if I may be given the chance to.”

There was another long silence before Karkat stood up. “Fine then, let’s go home.”

Kankri looked at him quickly, Eridan’s eyebrow raising with Cronus’s as they watched the brothers.

“Well? What the fuck are you waiting for, shitsponge? I’m not about to hash out feelings in front of the Grease addict and Captain Hipster, thank you very fucking much so I am going _home_.” He gave Eridan a quick wave before scooping up the bag he’d shown up with and marching out the door.

Kankri got up almost hesitantly, glancing over at Cronus. “Cronus…I hope you realize how much I appreciate your help, though it wasn’t necessary for you to drag me over here to talk to him.”

“Babe, we both know that ya woulda worried yourself sick before ya ever walked over here and ended up talkin yourself even more into a hole with him. I didn’t want ya worryin longer than ya had to and hell I was worried to.” He flushed a little, looking away and shoving his hands in his pockets sheepishly.

Kankri’s cheeks pinkened as well, the shorter male worrying his lower lip before rising onto his toes to press a quick kiss to his cheek before he darted out the door with a goodbye thrown over his shoulder. Eridan couldn’t help snickering at the almost dazed smile on Cronus’s face, though he had to duck a hand meant to cuff him with another laugh.

“Oh hush,” Cronus grumbled, despite the smile that wouldn’t leave his face.

Eridan made a face before hightailing it to his room just in time to hear the ping of an incoming call on his computer. His face lit up and he dove toward the laptop, met with the bright face of his best friend grinning at him from the monitor.

“Hey, Eri _fin_! I _minnow_ I just saw you yesterday but I had to check in again! The _conch_ ert was great and tell Cro _fish_ I said so. I _reel_ ly hope they get signed.”

‘ _I’ll let him know. And you know you’re always welcome to give me a call. I miss seeing you all the time._ ’

“Awww, I miss you too, guppy!”

Eridan rolled his eyes. When they were younger Feferi had dragged him to see _The Little Mermaid_ , which led to an intense discussion of who got to be Ariel and who was stuck as Flounder or Sebastian. Of course, Fef had won, sticking the nickname ‘guppy’ to Eridan which he had yet to outgrow apparently.

“So, is Kar _crab_ o _cray_? He seemed _reel_ upset last night.”

He raised an eyebrow, nodding a little. ‘ _He came over and we watched movies and talked a bit today. I think he’s feeling better, or he’s starting to. He just went home actually._ ’

“Is he al _waves_ such a grump?”

Eridan snickered and nodded. ‘ _Even on his best days he finds new ways to verbally strip people to the bone._ ’

Feferi giggled, her glasses almost slipping off her nose until she pushed them back into place. “ _Shoal_ lux seemed pretty grumpy too, at least until he scurried off.” She flushed a little, twirling a piece of hair around her finger before starting to braid it. “Is he al _waves_ like that too?”

There was a loud huff from Eridan as he stared at the ceiling for a moment. ‘ _He’s a total asshole. You remember that dick I told you about from my first day? That was him. I mean I guess he’s not as bad as he was at first but still. He annoys the ever living shit out of me and he jumps around from hating me to helping me so fast it’s giving me whiplash. Like okay asshole, make up your mind!_ ’ It felt good to get it off his chest, though now that he was thinking of Sollux he fell back into the night before, sitting beside him on the roof with the cool air and the music surrounding them.

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you rant that much about someone since that _bass_ hole at the gym last summer.”

‘ _Fef he was leerin and we both know it. I kindly reminded him to keep his eyes to himself._ ’

“I wouldn’t call glaring at him until he looked away ‘kindly reminding him’, Eri _fin_.”

‘ _I would.’_

She huffed and rolled her eyes, but broke into giggles before too long. “ _Fin_! But any _wave_ , there was a reason I called.”

‘ _Besides my quick wit and irresistible charms?_ ’ Eridan signed, earning another eye roll and peal of laughter.

“Shush,” she spluttered, flapping her hands at him. “I was gonna ask if you were going trick or treating with your new _fronds_ next week!”

He rolled his eyes. ‘ _Don’t you think we’re a little old for that, Fef?_ ’

“You’ve never gone trick or treating with me! How can you outgrow some _fin_ you never did?!”

‘ _It’s unbecoming of someone of our social status to stoop so low as to beg complete strangers for candy._ ’ Those were words he’d heard almost annually when Cronus was home, though when he wasn’t Eridan didn’t bother asking as he knew if he got an answer at all it would be the same.

Feferi saw through the bullshit like she always did, crossing her arms and frowning until he sighed.

‘ _I don’t even know if they do it anymore. I don’t want them to think I’m some immature little kid._ ’

“So what if they do? What’s so bad about being a little immature sometimes? If it means I get candy, I don’t care what they think of me!”

Eridan frowned, glancing down. That was the difference between them, that she didn’t care what other people thought of her, wearing what she liked and doing what she found fun. On the other hand, he obsessed over what people thought about him to the point that it made him sick and he avoided social interaction to avoid messing up as much as he was sure he would. It had been easier since he’d gotten here, where no one seemed to expect perfection from him and he could let himself relax if only a bit.

‘ _I’ll ask Karkat tomorrow_ ,’ he finally conceded, giving her a sigh and a quick goodbye as Cronus announced that it was time for dinner.

His brother’s cooking was somewhat improving, that much was obvious, and he seemed more than a little proud of that. Eridan chuckled a little at the wide grin when he said dinner was good, but was happy for him nonetheless as he swept into his room for bed.

He briefly wondered how Karkat’s talk with Kankri had gone, but resigned himself to finding out tomorrow as he curled up for a long night.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I'm sorry for how long it took to get this updated, I really hope I can get the next one out quicker

Eridan was almost surprised to see Sollux the next morning, the Captor still bearing the last remnants of his black eye and hunching over a laptop in the corner of the library. Plopping into the chair across from him, Eridan pulled out his notebook and dropped it with a rather loud thud onto the table. Sollux jumped, his fingers jerking over the keys. Curses spilled from his mouth as he deleted the jumble of letters, glaring at Eridan.

“I thee you’re feeling better,” he huffed, his mouth curled into an annoyed sneer. “Fantathtic.”

_And I see you’re still a ball of sunshine. Let me tell you how much I’ve missed you’re_ sparkling personality _at school. Really, it’s been just dreadful without you clogging my ears with your horrifying lisp._

“Really? The mute guy ith gonna make fun of my thpeech? And not even creatively.”

_Well sorry I don’t spend all my time thinkin about how to insult you, Sol. Not that I’m not flattered you put that much effort into it, but really, I’m just not into you._

By this point they both were barely hiding grins, enjoying the banter that had started to become common between them. Eridan would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed Sollux at all, though he’d seen enough of him while he was suspended. There was something about the teasing that made him feel warm, maybe because he knew that none of it was serious, or at the very least that Sollux didn’t _want_ to hurt him.

Sollux made a rather obnoxious gagging noise before shutting his laptop and stowing it in his bag. “Geeth, ED. I jutht got back, I don’t really need to go home thick. Now what do I need to teach you today?”

Eridan rolled his eyes, reaching over to flick his forehead. _Nothin. Just look over my homework and make sure I’m doin it right. I’m pretty sure I’ve got it down._

“Thomehow I doubt that,” Sollux mumbled, flipping through the papers and raising an eyebrow. “Huh, for onthe you actually didn’t thuck at it. It’th like you’ve never had a math clath in your life.”

_Well unless you count online stuff, I haven’t._

There was a long moment of silence, a look of confusion crossing Sollux’s face. “Wait, really? What, wath your ath too good for public thchool?”

He chuckled and shook his head. _It was just easier to learn at home. I didn’t really know sign language when I was younger and Dad didn’t really think public school was worth the trouble._

“Trouble?”

Eridan shrugged. _It’d be kind of hard for a kid who can’t talk to be in a normal classroom right? Especially in elementary school._

“…elementary thchool? How old were you?”

He paused for a moment before writing. _Six or seven?_

“Tho you were homethchooled? Like tutorth or thomething?”

_Mostly just online stuff and books. Cronus helped out but he had school too. It wasn’t really that hard, I had plenty of free time and got it done._

“Theriouthly?”

_What?_

“Your dad jutht gave a kid thome bookth and bathically thaid ‘good luck’? No wonder you left home.”

_He was just busy._ Eridan put the pen down rather forcefully, reaching over to grab his homework back. _You said this was fine, right?_

“Well, yeah but I’m thtill kinda thtuck on the whole homethchooling thing.”

_It’s none of your business, Captor. Keep your bony ass outta my shit and get out your history book. There’s a test soon, isn’t there?_

Sollux frowned, but after a long moment he rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Ampora. It’th not like I actually give two shitth about your shitty life.” He grimaced and leaned back, looking over at Karkat as the grumpy teen joined them. “Took you long enough, KK. What, couldn’t get away from your boyfriend to come join uth?”

“You act like I could actually manage to spare any fucks to give about your disgusting ass, Captor. As much of a dickhat as Strider is, his endless metaphors and ear melting raps are actually a fucking improvement over the genius levels of pan-addling bullshit that is conversation with you. And-“

“And you aren’t denying he’th your boyfriend,” Sollux snickered, dramatically patting the seat beside him. “Come on, KK, tell me what’th up.”

“Obviously not your fucking IQ you shit sniffing bag of dicks. He’s not my fucking boyfriend, which you’d know if you could keep your screwed-up excuse for teeth closed for more than two seconds. I mean shit I know you’ve got some fucked up crush on the goddamn number but wow its almost sad. Almost. Mostly just incredibly fucking weird, oh wait I almost forgot who I was talking about. Where was I? Oh yeah, fuck you. I’d say it again, but I’m not feeding into your addiction.” Karkat huffed and crossed his arms, pointedly sitting across from Sollux instead of next to him.

“Wow, KK, I mithed you too,” he smirked, making a heart shape with his hands and throwing a dramatic wink in Karkat’s direction.

“And I almost forgot how much of an insufferable asshole you are, guess both of us are out of luck,” Karkat bit out, leaning back in his chair, and sinking deeper into his sweater. He didn’t seem as tense as he’d been most of the past week, but Eridan still didn’t want to ask anything. At least not with Sollux around, the prick seemed to have the emotional range of a goldfish.

The bell was becoming an almost nice sound, a checkpoint to let Eridan know he was indeed getting through the day alive. He was still a little irritated about the conversation from earlier, refusing to look at Sollux as he stepped out of the library. Who did he think he was, asking and assuming shit? Talking about something he knew _nothing_ about? Sure, his childhood hadn’t been ideal, but he’d made it. It always could have been worse.

He ran a hand through his hair and huffed out a sigh as he dropped into his seat. The line of questioning had been unexpected and utterly confusing. What did Sollux care why he’d been homeschooled? Eridan rested his chin in his palm, his brow furrowing as the went over the conversation again. Had he been curious or concerned, or just trying to irritate him? The second seemed laughable, though a quick flashback to the concert had him putting a hand over his face in frustration. Why did Sollux have to be so confusing?

A loud bang made him jump, his glasses almost falling off of his face as the loud noise made his stomach drop. His eyes were wide as he stared over at Karkat, who’s thick History book was sitting on the table, his hands held up in front of him before what happened caught up to him.

“Did I actually fucking scare you?” Karkat asked, his voice toeing the line between disbelief and concern.

Eridan was quick to shake his head, waving his hand dismissively while his heart calmed. Perhaps he’d been deeper in thought than expected to be that startled, though he’d never been particularly fond of noises like that.

_I’m fine, just thinkin. How’d things go with Kankri?_

Karkat’s grimace and glance away made Eridan immediately regret asking, holding his hands up more in apology than defense.

“It’s fine,” he assured him, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure he’s gonna stick to his promise to back off…but I guess it went about as well as can be expected. For once in his fucking life I think he at least tried to stop being in love with the sound of his own voice for long enough to listen to me, but old habits die hard and Kankri’s are fucking ancient.” He waved his hand dismissively and shrugged. “But fuck that topic with a cactus, what the hell did I walk into this morning? You looked ready to punch Sollux, not that I don’t wholeheartedly support that decision I just want to know what he did this time.”

Eridan’s eyes narrowed as he scribbled in his sketchbook, huffing as he realized he only had a few blank pages left. He’d have to remember to ask Cronus about getting a new one, though he cringed a little at the thought. Maybe he should look into getting a job.

_He was being a nosy little asshole. I made some offhand comment about being homeschooled til now and he just starts askin questions like it’s any of his business in the first fuckin place. Who the fuck does that grubby little commoner think he is, buttin into my personal life like that?_

Karkat’s eyebrow disappeared behind fluffy bangs. “Commoner?” he said, almost sounding amused. “Okay, your goddamn Majesty, you want some room for that ego?”

Color rushed into his cheeks and he ducked his head for a minute.

_Sorry. Just somethin my Dad used to say, so I did a lot when I was younger. I stopped talkin like that a while ago, but Sol just pissed me off._

“It’s fine, but your Dad sounds like a pretentious asshole.”

Eridan grimaced, but nodded a little.

_He kinda was, but he didn’t really say that kind of shit to me specifically. More to my brother. I didn’t see too much of him. He was pretty busy._

“If he was busy, how the fuck were you homeschooled?”

_Online classes and Cro mostly._

“What the hell?”

Eridan huffed loudly and glared at the paper.

_Not you too. God, he ran a fuckin company of course he was busy. Why does everyone try to make some huge deal out of it?_

“Don’t be an asshole just because someone pulled out enough of their shriveled little heart to show you some fucking concern, you piece of shit.”

_THERE’S NOTHIN TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT SO CAN WE JUST DROP IT?_

They semi-glared at each other for a minute before Karkat rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

Eridan got a cold feeling in his stomach as the other looked away, reading every bit of tension as anger and cursing himself for going off on Karkat for no good reason. This was just like him, wasn’t it? To lose his temper and burn all the bridges he set foot on. This was why he shouldn’t go to public school, shouldn’t try to have friends. Maybe his dad was right.

He flinched violently when a hand touched his shoulder, head jerking up to stare at Karkat as he realized something wet was rolling down his cheek. The concern in the others face was almost painful, sending guilt stabbing through him as he wiped the tears away with the heel of his hand.

_Sorry I was bein an ass about it._

“Well I won’t say that you weren’t but I don’t think that I was being much better. That being said …we’re still friends right?”

Eridan couldn’t help a wide grin, trying not to look as relieved as he felt. That’d probably be sad.

_Of course we are, Kar._

Both of them jumped when Mr. English suddenly called on Karkat, his annoyingly cheerful voice making Eridan grimace slightly. The remainder of the class went smoothly, though they didn’t talk much. Eridan still felt a little awkward, reminded of the awful temper that ran in his family and not liking how much he’d been slipping into old habits. Feferi wouldn’t be happy to hear about it.

He stood as the bell rang, walking quickly to art and pulling his canvas from the drying rack. The cold eyes that stared out from the doorway still sent a shiver down his spine, but he ignored it as he began to fill in the area around the house. While most creepy houses had dead grass and weeds, Eridan found himself painting a perfectly kept lawn, thorny hedges twisting in unforgiving walls around the edges. Keeping the world out, or trapping someone inside. He tensed a little at the feeling of being watched, turning to see Nepeta looking at his painting curiously as her hands hovered over the cat skull mask she was currently putting the last bits of paper mache on.

“That’s really good,” she said quickly once their eyes had met, pushing the sleeves of her oversized coat past her elbows for the umpteenth time and ignoring the bit of stuff stuck to her cheek. She pretended to focus intently on her work, though Eridan caught her glancing at him a few more times. At least she wasn’t pushing him for details, he really _didn’t_ want to talk about it.

The bell couldn’t ring fast enough, though he wasn’t thrilled to be headed to class with Serket. At least she focused more on insulting him than probing into his life. He straightened his spine and let his face fall into a cold mask to try and hint he wasn’t in the mood for her bullshit as he swept into the locker room and got changed. The water was welcoming, clearing his head as it often did and giving him a bit of a break from social interaction.

When he hauled himself out of the pool, he paused as he noticed the Coach heading towards him. He was handed a slip of paper detailing a swim meet that was happening in a few weeks. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited, though it meant replacing his afterschool tutoring sessions with swim practice at the very least until the meet. Not that Sollux would care, but Eridan worried a bit for his grade. Though he’d improved quite a bit, there was no telling whether or not he’d be able to keep it up when they moved on to new concepts. Plus, Mituna had been fun to talk to, if a little energetic, and he wouldn’t have minded hanging out more.

Speech was boring as usual, though seating had been rearranged for some reason and put him right next to a girl with bright red glasses and a cane she barely seemed to need although she was blind. She had grinned, her white eyes seeming to stare right through him, but there wasn’t much he could do to talk to her.

He stood outside the cafeteria for a few moments, frowning as the noise washed over him and he once again avoided the trouble in favor of the library. Nestled into a corner with a book in his lap, he almost missed the bell that marked the end of the short lunch. The sound barely managed to tear him from his story, though he was reluctant to get up once he realized what was going on. His stomach gave a brief rumble, but it was easy to ignore as he climbed the stairs towards his Calculus class.

Mr. Captor seemed about as grumpy as usual, writing problems on the board quickly and moving through them almost more so. Eridan was glad for it though, as it didn’t give him the chance to think more about that morning or the steadily growing pain in his abdomen. Maybe he should have eaten, but it was too late now.

Ms. Leijon seemed tired, not bothering to get up from her comfortable chair and declaring the day a reading day before burying her nose deeply in her book. Eridan pulled a pen from his bag, marking little notes in his own copy and letting himself doodle in the margins as he read. A few of them looked familiar, though he refused to let himself think about it beyond that. It wouldn’t do him any good to consider who he was subconsciously drawing.

The next class was a little more interesting, but that was only because Jade had latched onto him as soon as he walked into the room. “Eridan! You have to come with us on Friday!”

He raised an eyebrow, apparently displaying his confusion quite clearly as she rolled her eyes.

“It’s Halloween! We always go trick or treating and end up converging at someone’s house to eat candy and watch scary movies until we pass out. It’s a blast!”

Eridan backed away from her energy a little, sitting at his desk.

_You don’t think we’re too old for this?_

“Of course not, doofus! It’s a ton of fun and plus it’s our last year of high school! We might not get to get together next year so why not do it while we can?”

He frowned a little, looking at his paper for a long minute.

_Can my friend Feferi come?_

“Sure! The more the merrier and I’m hosting this year after trick or treating! You’re not allergic to dogs right?”

He shook his head, looking even more confused.

“Great! Oops, Ms. Lalonde’s looking at us. I’ll talk to you about it more later!”

She dove into her work, leaving him to catch up with what had just happened and finally get started on the worksheet in front of them.

Mr. Strider seemed distracted but excited, most likely because of the concert. Eridan briefly wondered how soon they’d hear from the scout, hoping it was soon. The band deserved it.

When he stepped out of the classroom, he frowned as he came face to chest with Sollux.

“What’th with the thurprithe? I thought tutoring wath routine by now.”

Eridan cursed internally, fishing out his notebook as to not waste more sketch paper.

_I have swim practice. I just got added to the team and there’s a meet in a couple weeks._

There was a look that Eridan could have sworn was disappointment before Sollux shoved the notebook back into his hand.

“Whatever. Giveth me one leth annoying little shit to deal with.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, turning on his heel and stalking down the hall.

What the hell was his problem? Eridan didn’t have time to wonder what had the others panties in a wad as he hurried in the opposite direction to the pool. Lucky for him, Serket wasn’t on the team, but he wasn’t really prepared to have so many unfamiliar people talking to him. They seemed friendly enough at least, but he still dove into the water at his first chance. The solid two hours of swimming left him tired but satisfied, texting Cronus to pick him up as his legs felt like jello.

Once home, he thought for a moment about calling Feferi, but that was quickly vetoed as he curled onto his bed. He fell asleep as his head hit the pillow, his sleep better than it had been in a while.


	20. Chapter 20

Eridan peeled his eyes open, glaring at the blazing light of his ringing phone as the sound of his alarm woke him. The music was a loud, pulsing beat he’d known would get him up when he set it, but considering how comfortable his bed was he was seriously contemplating ignoring it. He buried his face in his pillow before he remembered something. His only alarm was set for eight, on the off chance he overslept. If his alarm was going off, that could only mean-

He shoved himself out of bed, grabbing his phone and darting for the door without shedding his blankets fully. Why the hell had Cronus let him sleep this long? Though neither of them were morning people, it was rare for them to actually be late for anything, if only because their father would be pissed at the “wrecking of his family’s image.” His foot twisted under him, blankets wrapped tightly around his ankles as he hit the door first, throwing it open, and then the wooden floor with an echoing _thud_. The breath flew from him as he spent a solid minute wheezing to get it back, a crash coming from the room across the hall before the door flew open and a half-asleep Cronus looked down at him in a confused panic.

“Eridan? What the fuck?”

Eridan shoved the hand holding his phone into the air, the time blinking on the screen. Cronus let out a loud curse that echoed Eridan’s and pulled the other to his feet. “Get dressed and meet me at the car in five,” he said quickly before ducking back into his room.

The horror of having five minutes to get ready was overlooked for the sake of necessity as he threw on the first clean clothing he saw, lamenting the fact that he had no time to do anything to his hair aside from brush it back and watch as the pale streak fell into his face. Perhaps he’d better get a haircut soon if there was a decent place around here. If not, he’d do what he normally did. Wait until Feferi decided to get her hair done and tag along for company and an excuse to fix his own. After wasting a few precious seconds on indecision, he stuffed the jar of hair gel into his bookbag and threw himself into the car about the same time Cronus did. The way the car jerked as Cronus peeled out of the driveway was enough to set his stomach on edge and he was almost glad he’d missed breakfast, although that most likely meant he wouldn’t be eating until dinner tonight.

The perfectly imperfect houses blurred past as Cronus took advantage of the mostly empty road and screeched to a stop in front of the school. Eridan was out the door before the car fully stopped, a voice in his head screaming at him for being late as he skidded on the tile floor of the halls and turned a corner. He almost ran headfirst into the classroom door, taking a final moment to breathe deeply and attempt to look like he hadn’t been full on sprinting through the school almost ten minutes late to class. The click of the handle turning seemed deafening as he tried to push the door open silently, the eyes that turned to the movement making him freeze like a frightened extra in a horror movie.

“Thanks for joining us, Mister Ampora,” Mr. English chirped, his smile bright as he waved him to his seat. “And just in time too. I was about to mark you absent. Now hurry along to your desk and we can get back to it.”

Eridan considered trying to make himself seem as small as possible and shuffling to the back, but eyes were already on him and he did his very best to keep his face expressionless as he walked to the familiar table.

“Where were you, fucknugget?” Karkat hissed under his breath as soon as he sat down, glancing at the teacher every few seconds to make sure he wasn’t approaching them.

_Overslept._ Eridan scrawled onto a piece of paper, flicking it to the other side of the table and stifling a yawn. He really needed some coffee, not that he was going to get any today. He’d be lucky if he managed to stay awake for all of his classes.

“Captor was pretty pissed that you didn’t show this morning. Something about your tutoring thing. Fuck it was like you’d stood him up, the way he was acting.”

_Seriously? He was acting like that yesterday too when I told him I had swim practice. I don’t get it, it’s not like he wanted to tutor me in the first place._

“Wait what?”

Eridan let out a long sigh, rolling his eyes. _I have a swim meet in a few weeks, so I need to practice with the team after school. I didn’t see him at lunch, so he showed up at my last class for tutoring stuff and got all pissy when I told him I couldn’t go. Even before that, he’d been acting weird after I told him my life wasn’t his business. What does it even matter to him, it’s not like we’re even friends. Just…part of the same group I guess._

“He was acting weird yesterday, but I thought he was just tired. And he _did_ ask me if you’d said anything first period.”

_What’d you tell him?_

“To fuck off and do his work.”

_Good._

Eridan set his pencil down, done with the conversation though it stuck in his mind. Why was Sollux so interested in his childhood, and why was he so pissed off about Eridan missing a couple tutoring sessions? Neither of them were in dire need of them anymore and there weren’t any tests anytime soon?

He ran a hand through his frustratingly unstyled hair, vowing to take trip to the bathroom before art class to fix it, although he’d have to do the same thing after swim. Luckily, he usually put enough product in that the short pool time didn’t rinse away too much. True to his word, as soon as the bell rang he made a beeline for the bathroom and spent almost the entire time between bells styling his hair so his bangs were finally out of his face. He took one last look at the mirror and deemed his appearance satisfactory before he made his second mad dash of the day to his next class.

Nepeta waved at him as he sat down, her oversized jacket tied around her waist for once as she painted her now dry mask. For someone so small she seemed more muscular than he’d expected and he briefly wondered if she played any sports. Her short hair hung in her face more often than not, though she kept brushing it back with paint speckled hands. “Morning,” she chirped, pausing to watch him set up his canvas.

He gave her a nod of acknowledgment, his hands too full to sign as he lined the paints up beside him.

“Are you going trick-or-treating on _Fur_ iday?” she asked, glancing up after a few moments to see his answer.

“ _Probably. Fef is excited about it and Jade invited me to join their group._ ”

“Fef?”

“ _Feferi. She’s my best friend from home, but she’s close enough to visit. If you’re with us, you’ll meet her._ ”

“Oh, _purr_ obly. Equius is hanging out with Aradia, so I don’t think I’d be doing anything else. And if _Paw_ llux is going to be there I don’t think they would show up.” Her smile fell into a scowl for a moment and she carefully painted a tooth with fire in her eyes.

“ _Are you alright with…everything that happened. Aren’t you and him close?_ ”

There was a moment of silence and she sighed. “He’s still my best _fur_ iend, but I’m still _furry_ upset with him. Not only did he start dating a girl he _knew_ was with someone, but he didn’t even bother to tell me? I mean, geez, at least let me _know_ when ships are about to crash! I had to rewrite a whole part of the wall with no warning!”

“ _The wall?_ ”

A small blush colored her cheeks and she busied herself painting as she answered. “I kind of keep track of who’s dating who, who might end up together, or who might be cute as a couple. It’s fun and I do my best not to inter _fur_ , even though some people might really need the right nudge to tell that they like someone.” A sudden glint appeared in her eye that made Eridan slightly nervous. “Speaking of which, Am _purr_ a. Is there anyone that _mew_ have an interest in?”

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

“What about Fe _furry_?”

Eridan almost laughed. “ _She shot me down like three years ago. At the time it was horrible, but I don’t think we would have worked out honestly. She deserves better than I could offer._ ”

Nepeta’s eyebrows furrowed, but she didn’t press on that subject. “Well, what about _Paw_ llux?”

There was a choked sound from Eridan and he stared at her, dumbfounded.

“Well, I see _mew_ two together a lot and the bickering is _furry_ a _mew_ sing to watch. Plus, I saw _mew_ two sneaking off at the concert be _fur_ Kar _kitty_ ran away. What was that all about?”

“ _I wasn’t having the best time, so he took me to the roof to get away from the crowd._ ”

“Has he done anything like that be _fur_?”

“ _I dunno. If he sets off somethin he’ll apologize and I guess he’s tried to help me out occasionally, but it’s not a big deal._ ”

“Hmm…I still think it has potential. _Mew_ would be good _fur_ each other. And now that Aradia sunk that ship, I don’t think there’s too many people he’s compatible with.”

“ _Well potential or not, it’s not happening. Any sort of care or concern he shows is outta pity at most and even if it wasn’t…he’s an asshole but he hasn’t done anything worth gettin saddled with me._ ” He turned pointedly to his painting, finishing the small details as he waited impatiently for the class to be over with.

Swimming was great as always, more so because Serket was thankfully nowhere to be seen. The coach seemed impressed with his times, but he was determined to get them even better before the meet. What was the point in going if he was just going to flop?

Speech was another class that stayed the same, useless and boring, although the blind girl, who’d he’d learned was named Terezi, kept his attention with her loud questions and comments and occasional jokes about sight. He half wished he could be that nonchalant about his disability, but what was the point of making jokes he’d have to write down?

At lunch there was a hard choice, slink to the library and enjoy the peace, or silence the almost painful rumbling in his stomach by braving the crowds in the cafeteria. Eventually, hunger won out and he trudged through the people to grab what the school passed off as food and sit at the familiar lunch table he hadn’t seen in a while.

“And his royal highness finally makes a fucking appearance,” Karkat mock-cheered from the other end of the table, his mouth half full of a sandwich.

Eridan rolled his eyes and gave the other a sarcastic bow before digging into his own food. It was greasy and otherwise bland, but it stopped his stomach from attempting to devour itself, at least for the time being. He froze when Sollux sat across from him, but ignored him as best he could. He just wanted to finish his lunch and get the day over with.

Luckily, it didn’t take too long for the bell to ring and he was on his feet in seconds to dart up the stairs. Mr. Captor greeted him, his lesson mostly review today. Eridan was grateful for that, happy that he wouldn’t need to talk to Sollux about a new section at least for today. Thinking about him brought what Nepeta had said to his mind, as much as he tried to forget it.

It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? He didn’t like him, though he couldn’t deny that he’d probably be one of the first people he went to if something happened. The memory of them curled next to each other on the roof made his cheeks warm, wondering what would have happened if they’d been in a different situation. If he hadn’t been having a panic attack, if they weren’t up there for an escape…if they’d just been sitting on the roof with music around them, staring at the few stars they could see through the light of the city. Would he have leaned against him, wrapped an arm over his shoulders, if only to warm them both in the cool night air?

Eridan shook his head, trying to physically make the thoughts go away and frowning to himself. This was ridiculous. He’d meant everything he’d said to Nepeta and her stupid shipper thoughts weren’t going to suddenly change his mind. He didn’t want a relationship…well, more accurately he didn’t want someone to date him out of pity and he wasn’t sure he’d get anything more than that.

Still, his thoughts were occupied through the afternoon, slowing his work speed to a crawl. At least at swim practice he could ignore everything except his breathing. He focused on each stroke, counting his breaths and only letting himself take a break after he’d exhausted himself enough not to think about anything but getting home.

As soon as he trudged through the door, his hair still damp and hanging in his face, Cronus looked up from the couch. “You might want to give Feferi a call, chief. Meenah said she was bugging her about not hearing from you.”

Eridan raised an eyebrow, but dropped his bag before flopping on his bed and calling Feferi. As soon as she appeared on screen, she huffed at him. “There you are! You were supposed to _glub_ with me yesterday, doo _fish_!” She looked more annoyed than angry, given the fish puns she still used and Eridan couldn’t help but snicker at the way her curly hair fell into her face. “Don’t laugh at me, _fish_ ter,” she scolded, fixing her glasses. “Explain your _shell_ f!”

‘ _Explain what, Fef_?’

She let out a deep sigh, dropping her head onto the desk for a moment. “Halloween! Are we going trick-or-treating? It’s only a few days away, we’ve got to have a plan of action!”

‘ _Oh, that. Well, Jade invited me to go with her group and apparently there’s some sleepover party thin after. She said you could come._ ’

Feferi giggled, leaning back. “Now _sea_? That wasn’t so hard. Oh, but you don’t have a costume, do you?”

He grimaced, looking away. ‘ _Do I have to?_ ”

“Of course! No one’s gonna give candy to some grumpy gills who’s not in costume!” Her face lit up. “Wait! I have an idea! Gotta go, Eri _fin_! _Sea_ ya later!” She shut off the chat, leaving Eridan very confused and very tired. He shut his laptop and shoved it into his bag. After a quick dinner, he climbed into bed and passed out, only to be woken the next morning by Cronus knocking on his door. It felt like he’d barely gotten any sleep and he sat up with a groan. Nevertheless, he dragged himself out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen.

Cronus put a plate in his hand, which he ate rather quickly.

‘ _You’re getting better at cooking, Cro._ ’

“I’d better be, I’m practicing almost every day,” his brother said, dumping his plate into the sink. “Get dressed, I don’t want you late to school two days in a row.”

Eridan was at school in record time, aside from yesterday of course, and ended up slumped over the usual table in the library.

“Well look who dethided to make an appearanthe,” an annoyingly familiar voice sneered from across the table, but Eridan didn’t even look at him. He raised a hand to flip him off, then tucked the arm back where it had been in use as a pillow. After a few minutes he raised his head and dragged his notebook out of his backpack.

_So, what the fuck is your problem this time, Captor? I was late to school yesterday because I overslept, or are you seriously still mad about me telling you to mind your own business?_

“Excuthe the fuck outta me for being contherned,” he mumbled, looking at his hands and letting his glasses slip to the end of his nose.

_What the hell is there to be concerned about? I was homeschooled, so what?_

Sollux looked dumbfounded for a second. “What ithn’t there? I actually manage to find out a little bit about your life and it turnth out the guy who had a panic attack when I mentioned hith family, the guy who jutht moved in with hith brother out of nowhere, the guy who acted like I wath going to _punch him when I wath the tinietht bit upthet_ grew up left to teach himthelf becauthe hith dad wath a prick. Anyone who’th known you for even a day would be a little contherned about your home life after learning that shit.”

Eridan felt a blush spreading over his cheeks, his hand shaking as he shoved another note to him.

_Why do you care?_

Sollux stared at him for a long moment, then dropped his eyes to the table with his own face reddening. “Becauthe I _gueth_ we’re friendth or thome shit. When you’re not being an athhole, that ith.”

There was an almost uncomfortable silence between them that left Eridan to his own thoughts for far too long. He scrawled another note to end it.

_Are you going trick-or-treating with Jade and them this Friday?_

“…KK mentioned it. Why…are you?”

He nodded a little. _Fef wanted to so I’m being dragged along._ He looked up as the bell rang. _I know it’s a couple of days away, but I guess I’ll see you there?_

Sollux looked away, smirking, but Eridan could still see the pink coloring his cheeks. “If you’re lucky.”

Eridan walked to class with his heart racing and no clue as to why, blowing off Karkat’s questions in first period and Nepeta’s curious looks in second. He was distracted, but not quite sure why, slipping through his classes without taking much in. Lunch was a blur he spent in the library, curled in a corner with a pile of books he couldn’t focus on and the afternoon sped by in the blink of an eye.

What broke him out of it was seeing his brother’s car parked in front of the school, the driver grinning out the window at him. Why on Earth was Cronus picking him up? He’d proven he was perfectly capable of walking home.

With an air of confusion, he got into the car but before he could ask two hands covered his eyes and a bright voice chirped, “Guess who!”

Eridan’s eyes widened, his hands pulling the others away as he turned to the backseat. ‘ _Fef?!_ ’

She laughed at his expression, her hair pulled into a ponytail although a few wisps still hung in her face. “I told you I had an idea! I’m staying with you until Halloween, Cro _fish_ already said it was _okra_ y!”

He grinned. ‘ _Not that I’m complainin, Fef. But why’d you come so early?_ ”

“That’s easy!” She threw her hands in the air and Cronus peeled away from the school. “Shopping!”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is here! I'm sorry for the update schedule being so weird, I'll do my best to keep things regular!

It was about an hour before they arrived at a mall large enough to have a Halloween store Feferi deemed appropriate, but Eridan was excited enough to forget how tired he was. He spent the trip telling Feferi about everything that happened since the concert, her face lighting up when she heard about the swim meet, which she promised to attend.

“You’ll hear me cheering for you the loudest I can,” she chirped, patting him on the back as they walked into the mall. Her hair was bouncing, curly and faded pink on the ends. “Oh! And Eri _fin_ , I need you to help me redye my hair while I’m here. You do it the best.”

He frowned a bit, touching the ends of her hair. ‘ _You should get it cut first. Really, we both should._ ’

Feferi huffed, picking at the dry ends. “Oh! Maybe we can do that while we’re here! They’ve got a salon. We can both get trimmed and dye it tonight! Is there anything you want to do to your hair?”

Eridan was quick to shake his head. ‘ _Just the trim. My hair is fine the way it is, if annoyingly curly. Although…if you want we can pick up some stuff and do a spa night like we used to tomorrow night._ ’

Her eyes brightened and she practically squealed, bringing many eyes in their direction. Eridan flushed, but was used to Feferi’s exuberance, while Cronus looked more than a little amused. “Do you mind waiting _whale_ me and Eri _fin_ get _oar_ hair done, Cro _fish_?” she asked, turning to the older Ampora.

Cronus shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Nah. I might call Kanny and see if he wants to come hang out with me, you two have fun. Stay outta trouble and text me when you’re done, alright?”

Feferi nodded and excitedly gave him a hug before dashing off in the direction of the salon with Eridan’s wrist firmly in her grasp. Cronus tended to treat her like a little sister, even after him and Meenah had split, just like her mother had a habit of treating the Ampora boys as her own family. It was nice to feel like his family was bigger than just his brother and his father, and he knew Feferi felt the same.

He let himself be dragged into the salon, where they were seated quite quickly after learning who their patrons were. Sometimes it was a little embarrassing when people recognized the family names, but Eridan let himself enjoy the fast service for the time, reminded of all the times Fef and him had hung out before. In years prior, he was at her house more often than not, only going home when he had to. She was probably the only reason he left the house at all, forcing him to go to the movies or the mall with her, but even on the days they’d stayed home she’d make things lively. Given that they were both homeschooled, though for vastly different reasons, they often worked on homework together, and Feferi had been the one who got him to learn sign language in the first place. Not only that, but she was the first person besides Cronus to stand up to his father, though even she only knew part of the situation. Eridan didn’t know where he’d be without her, but it wouldn’t be anywhere good.

He relaxed and listened to her chatter as their hair was cut, Feferi’s taking much longer than his had but he stayed in his chair to listen to her as the curls fell away. He ran his hands through the shorter hair and shook his head to enjoy the slightly lighter feeling. Eridan bought a few hair dyes as he waited, paying and leaving with Feferi hooking her arm through his and tugging him towards the Halloween store. It was a seasonal costume shop, but it had a lot of variety to at least give them a start.

“ _Whale_ , first things first, _wave_ got to decide what we’re wearing! So, what _shoal_ d we be?”

Eridan shrugged, looking over the makeup kits they had set out and grimacing at the amount of fake blood on the models. He wasn’t a big fan of horror movies, preferring fantasy or even sci-fi to anything else. Horror movies were just jump scares and blood, and he’d never been fond of blood in the first place.

She looked at a few princess style things, grinning and pulling out a little mermaid outfit. “What about this? You could be a little guppy,” she teased.

‘ _Or_ ,’ he suggested, smirking as he took the costume and hung it over his arm. ‘ _I could be the little mermaid and you can be the witch who took my voice._ ’

Feferi looked a little surprised at the joke, but giggled and put the costume back. “A sea witch does sound cool. Maybe I can find a dress for it and make it look more witchy.”

‘ _Then what should I be? You know I’ve never done this costume stuff before, Fef._ ’

She thought for a long moment before darting off and coming back to wrap something around his shoulders. Eridan glanced in a nearby mirror and smiled a little.

‘ _I think this can work._ ’

Another hour of gathering supplies ensued before they grabbed a bite to eat in the food court, after which Feferi begged Eridan to just ‘look at some clothes with her’. He picked through the hangers, jumping when a violet sundress was thrust in front of him. “What do you think of this one?”

He glanced over it, the top sleeveless with lace along the neckline and the hem, black accents, and a black belt to cinch it at the waist. It was pretty, very much so, but didn’t really seem like Feferi’s style. ‘ _It’s nice, but I thought you didn’t like wearin purple?_ ’

She rolled her eyes before turning it around and putting it up against him. “Not for me, _shelly_! How long has it been since you got to wear something cute? I haven’t gotten to dress you up in so long! Not since-“ she cut off with a grimace, her brow furrowing.

‘ _Yeah, Dad wasn’t too happy about that._ ’

She looked at the dress, still frowning. “I _reel_ ly don’t _pike_ him. He’s just horri _bubble_! I’m glad you moved in with Cro _fish_. And I don’t think he cares a _boat_ this…but only if you want to dress up.”

After a long moment, Eridan grabbed the dress and smiled at her. ‘ _Help me pick out some tights to go with this. Something with stripes._ ’

Feferi burst into a smile. “You can’t wear stripes all the time!”

‘ _I can and I_ whale.’

They left the mall with several new outfits as well as their costumes, the bags hanging off them as they walked arm in arm. Cronus had indeed gotten Kankri to show up, the two of them sitting in the food court with a plate of fries and a shared milkshake. Kankri formally introduced himself to Feferi before they left, the Vantas trying and failing to plant a subtle kiss on Cronus’s cheek.

By the time they got back to the house, Feferi and Eridan were almost asleep, tired from shopping, but Eridan woke himself up enough to get the hair supplies ready. After dumping the bags into his room, the teens busied themselves in bleaching and dying Feferi’s tips bright pink and pulling as many blankets and pillows as they could find into a huge nest that they both flopped onto. They chatted about everything and nothing, putting on a movie and falling asleep sometime between Harry getting his letter and the end credits.

The next morning Feferi woke up just slightly as Eridan was getting ready, declaring that she wasn’t getting up yet and burying herself in the plush pile. Eridan glanced at the bags of clothes he’d brought home, pulling a pair of pastel pants from one and looking them over. They went well with a longer shirt he’d bought, but he set them on his bed and went for a dark sweater and plain jeans. Maybe someday, but not today. He gave the cute clothes one last look before tiptoeing out of his room and closing the door quietly behind him.

Cronus was watching TV, glancing over at Eridan when he emerged. “She still asleep?”

‘ _You know Fef. She’ll sleep all day if you let her._ ’ He poured his cup of coffee and sat down, sipping at it. ‘ _Just make sure there’s more coffee when she does wake up, she drinks more than I do._ ’

The elder chuckled, turning his attention back to the TV. “I remember. I’ll make sure she gets her caffeine fix. See ya later, Dan.”

Eridan finished getting ready, meeting Karkat at the end of the driveway.

“You look cheerful,” the other comments, his hair messy as always and hanging mostly in his face. The bags under his eyes look a little lighter, which Eridan hoped was a sign that things were getting better. Maybe Kankri was backing off like he’d said he was going to?

Eridan just offered a shrug, feeling a little lighter on his feet today. Feferi had certainly lifted his mood and if he was lucky Sollux wouldn’t decide he hated him again. It didn’t seem like it when they arrived at school, the Captor diving into an intense argument about whether or not a superhero t-shirt and a cape would be considered a costume with Kanaya, who looked almost horrified that it was even in question.

“I do not believe that something of that nature would be considered a costume, given that it seems to be your normal attire. Halloween is meant to be a time of fun and dressing up, or at the very least a chance to be creative and wear things you normally wouldn’t.”

“But I wouldn’t normally wear a cape,” he argued.

She took a deep breath through her nose and Eridan wondered how long this conversation had been going on for. “I believe you have missed my point entirely. But do be aware that I have warned you and I will not feel sorry when those of us with…artistic minds decline your offers to trade unsavory treats.”

“People don’t give shitty treatth for not wearing a proper cothtume.”

“For your sake, Sollux, I do hope so.” The girl looked up to see Karkat and Eridan, standing with a polite smile. “I see you have company. I will be on my way.” Eridan stepped back as she swept by, a little intimidated by the elegant girl. She held herself with a confidence he could only dream of, her impeccable fashion sense only making her seem more regal.

_Captor. Please tell me that you don’t actually plan on going out in a shirt and cape._

“I’ll have jeanth on too,” he shrugged, obviously unbothered by the idea of not dressing up. Eridan, on the other hand, was appalled. Who wouldn’t take the opportunity to get a great costume? Then again, Sollux had probably done this for his entire childhood, while this was Eridan’s first real Halloween.

_Well, my costume is going to be great._

“Ith? You mean you aren’t wearing it right now?” Sollux asked with a mock shocked expression. Eridan responded with a glare as they stood to go to class.

Karkat complained about still needing to get a costume on the way to class, trying to figure out what Eridan was going as but the Ampora wasn’t budging. He was excited about his costume, but he didn’t want anyone to know until tomorrow night.

The class passed quickly, though Eridan found himself doodling around his diligent notes more than usual. He tried to restrain the creative energy, happy that his art class was second period.

Nepeta seemed to be dressing up already with a blue tail hanging out from the back of her coat and a headband with a pair of blue ears sitting on her head. She was putting the final touches on her mask, while Eridan did the same for his painting. He handed the finished project in, watching Ms. Callie look it over. She complimented the terrifying figures, asking if she could hang it up. Eridan felt a little sick at the thought of seeing those cold scars every day, but plastered a smile on his face and nodded.

Swimming was the same distraction it always was, easing Eridan’s thoughts to a manageable level and letting him get a grip on the rest of the day. It helped that his next class was as useless as ever, though the lack of work let him focus on the fact that he really was hungry. He begrudgingly went into the cafeteria, pausing to watch with amusement as John tried and failed to sneak up behind Dave to scare him. The coolkids stoic expression remained exactly the same, though he gave the disappointed teen a pat on the back for his trouble.

Despite having done this before, Eridan still felt his heart race at the thought of getting into line and couldn’t make himself get to his feet until Karkat did. Gamzee was nowhere to be found, but Sollux was sitting across the table when Eridan got back. He had a sandwich, though he was hardly eating at all between chatting with Sollux about the upcoming weekend. Karkat seemed more excited than he wanted to let on, while Sollux still seemed apathetic about the whole thing. It was a little disheartening, though Eridan didn’t know why he cared about whether or not Sollux was excited. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, frowning to himself. He needed to stop thinking about the Captor.

His classes after lunch passed quickly, though he found himself surprised to see Feferi chatting with Sollux of all people when he left swim practice. She was twirling her hair around a finger, giggling and grinning wider than usual.

Was she…flirting?

Eridan felt anger curl in his chest, sharp enough to surprise him. He looked down at his hands, which were curled into fists that dug his nails into his palms and left marks in the skin. Why would he be angry? Years ago, he could have understood it, back when Feferi had been his everything. When he’d been convinced he was in love with her, rather than just idolizing the only person to give him the time of day. Now, he didn’t know what could make him be angry about seeing Feferi flirt with Sollux.

Nepeta’s words from before rang through his head and he shook them away, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt. He didn’t like Sollux, despite the warmth that flooded him when Sollux noticed him standing there and gave him a lopsided grin. Feferi followed his gaze, but it still took her almost tackling him for him to look at her. Luckily his blush seemed to have faded, though Feferi still looked at him a little oddly.

_What are you doin here still, Captor?_

Sollux had his hands shoved into the pockets of his baggy jeans, squinting a little behind his glasses to read the text before rolling his eyes. “FF thaw me outthide and thtarted chatting. Or glubbing I gueth.” He glanced at her with a smirk, her grin making Eridan feel a little sick. “She didn’t know that you had thwim practithe or whatever.” A sharp ping made him wince as he checked his phone. “Dad’th wondering where I am. Great. Thee you tomorrow, Ampora. You too, FF.”

Feferi was still waving to him when Eridan started walking, though she was quick to catch up. “Eri _fin_ you can’t just leave me behind like that,” she huffed, frowning and grabbing his arm. “What’s wrong?”

Eridan paused, taking a deep breath and crushing down every confusing feeling until he didn’t have to think about it. Feferi was his best friend and, even on the off chance there was something to what Nepeta said, she’d be better for Sollux anyway. So he forced himself to relax and smile and make that frown disappear from Feferi’s face. ‘ _It’s nothin, Fef. Just a little tired from swim practice. We’ve gotta get home and finish our costumes. Plus it’s spa night, remember?_ ’

In moments she was smiling again, holding onto his arm and chattering happily about plans all the way to the house. Cronus was out, which meant that the living room was littered with their finished costumes within hours, spa stuff taking over next. When the door opened, the smell of takeout wafting into the house, the elder Ampora found the two teens on the couch. Face masks were carefully applied, their hair pulled back by a handful of colorful clips. Eridan held Feferi’s hand in his own, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he painted her nails a pink that matched her hair. His own nails had been done a pretty violet, with gold accents on them. He placed matching accents over the pink on Feferi’s nails, not bothering to look up while Feferi greeted his brother.

Eridan gave Feferi strict orders to be careful until her nails were dry and the two peeled the masks from their faces and cleaned up the living room so they could eat dinner. They spent most of the evening curled on the couch, a movie on while they ate and occasionally flicked pieces of rice at each other until Cronus complained about them getting it on the carpet.

The next morning Eridan woke up with Feferi sprawled across most of the pile, leaving him on the floor. He got ready quickly, finding Cronus half asleep on the couch with a guitar already in his lap.

‘ _Are you doing anything today?_ ’

He shrugged, stretching and setting the instrument aside to stand. “Probably. Meenah’s throwing some party and I might take Kanny. Feferi said you two were goin out with friends?”

‘ _Yeah. I think we’re staying at Jade’s house._ ’

“Cool. Be careful, stay out of trouble and call me if anything happens,” he said, shuffling into the kitchen for food as Eridan headed out the door.

The air was a little chilly, but not enough to make walking to school uncomfortable. Eridan actually enjoyed the cold, though his nose and ears were bright red by the time he got to school. He buried his face in his scarf when he sat at the table, watching as Sollux sat across from him in a ratty hoodie. The Captor pulled a face when he met his gaze, making Eridan grin a little behind the violet material.

“Tho you’re going tonight, right?” he said after a few moments of silence.

_Duh. I told you that yesterday. I think I’m meetin up with Kar and Dave, then you I guess. After we get some loot we’re gonna meet at Jade’s house for the night._

“Jutht double checking. I’m bringing Mituna, but Kurloth ith gonna meet up with uth tho he’ll go with him. He’th exthited about it by the way.”

_I’m lookin forward to it too. I’ve never done this before._

Sollux raised an eyebrow. “Trick or treating?”

_Yeah. My dad didn’t approve of childish stuff like that. I don’t think Cronus did much either, except with his friends maybe._

The others brow furrowed but he didn’t say anything, just sighing and rising to his feet as the bell rang. Eridan stood with him, though they separated just outside the library to go to class.  Karkat seemed excited, though he was still as grumpy as ever.

The classes went by quickly, the energy of the holiday hovering over the students and teachers alike. Nepeta insisted on wearing her mask for as long as she could, wearing the same tail as the day before with gloves that looked like cat paws. Some people were already in costume, though most seemed to be waiting until after school. Swimming saw almost no one getting in the water, leading to Coach Nitram sending them to sprint in the field beside the school.

Speech was ignored by mostly everyone, though the teacher didn’t seem to mind in the least. Sollux was nowhere to be found at lunch, leaving Eridan to ponder on the disappointment for a moment before electing to ignore it and getting his food.

He managed to pull his focus together for Mr. Captor’s class, though it was quickly lost as Mrs. Leijon set up an artificial campfire and told ghost stories to the almost dark classroom. Neither Lalonde or Strider seemed interested in wrangling the students attention, the latter even letting them out a little early.

Eridan raced down the steps to see Feferi waiting for him, the two of them practically sprinting home to start getting ready. Feferi took the longest, even with Eridan helping, and they almost weren’t done by the time the doorbell rang. The sound surprised both of them, but Eridan snapped out of it and opened the door to see two costumed figures outside.

Karkat had on his normal black sweater and jeans, having attached two bat wings to his back with a red tail clipped onto a belt loop and matching horns sticking out of his hair. He held a little plastic trident and a crab covered pillowcase, but despite his seemingly lazy costume he was grinning. Dave matched the effort well, having just draped a sheet over himself and cut eye holes. At least, Eridan assumed he had, since he’d also cut slits to wear his shades over the sheet. When they left, he didn’t seem to be walking at all, instead gliding down the driveway. Eridan was almost concerned until Karkat informed him that the Strider was wearing Heelys.

He looked down at his own outfit as they walked. It was nowhere near as extra as Fef’s, but he still wondered if it was too much. He had a dark violet tunic with gold accents and a black belt on over tight black trousers, a fake sword hanging at his side. His pants were tucked into his boots, and he had a high collared cape wrapped around his shoulders. It was black on the outside, the inside a violet that matched his tunic with gold on the edging. On his head sat a little gold crown, nothing too big or fancy but just enough to be perfect for him. He’d dug his rings out of their box, the gold bands lining his fingers and glinting in the light of the setting sun. To him it was perfect, but he wondered if it was too much.

Feferi was even more extravagant, bouncing down the sidewalk in a flowy sea foam green dress. It was a little poofy, black material draped over the skirt in long triangles that imitated octopus tentacles, and little plastic sea creatures were glued to the skirt and the witches hat that sat precariously on her hair. She had glitter everywhere, a pink stuffed cuttlefish in her arms. Gold and pearl necklaces were draped around her neck, bangles lining her arms and clinking together as she walked. All in all, she looked really pretty and Eridan wouldn’t be surprised if Sollux decided to ask her out tonight. He shook the thought from his mind as they arrived at the Captor’s house.

Phillip and Simon were at the door, making sure the boys were ready before sending them off.

Mituna had a blue and white shirt unbuttoned over a black one with jeans and most of his hair shoved into a red and white hat. Eridan vaguely recognized it, only really getting it when Mituna threw a red and white ball at the back of Sollux’s head. Simon scolded him, letting Sollux hold onto it for now.

Sollux, on the other hand, was dressed in a black long sleeve with a yellow stripe painted in the middle. He had a pair of black tights on with yellow shorts over them and black sneakers, a headband with antennae on his head and a pair of clear wings taped to his shirt. At least it wasn’t a tshirt and cape.

Eridan looked up to see Sollux looking right at him, pink coloring the others cheeks as he quickly looked away. He looked himself over, trying to find whatever problem Sollux must have been staring at, but found nothing. Why had he been looking at him so intensely then, if nothing was wrong? He tried to shrug it off as they approached the first house.

Feferi had stepped beside Sollux, complimenting his costume and teasing him a little about it. He rolled his eyes and laughed, scratching the back of his head and telling her she looked pretty. That was all Eridan heard before he fell back, his eyes trained firmly on the ground throughout the first street.

A hand on his shoulder made him jump, looking up into mismatched eyes. He knocked the hand away with a sneer, not in the mood for dealing with Sollux right now.

“What the fuck, Ampora? What the hell ith up with you tonight? I thought you’d be more exthited for your firtht Halloween. I mean, you got that great cothtume and everything.”

Eridan looked down at his outfit, looking back at Sollux with confusion. He pulled out his phone and typed a quick note, turning the screen to face Sollux.

_Great? Didn’t think I’d hear that from you._

“Yeah, well. It ith. You look really good- I MEAN IT- It lookth really good. The cothtume,” he rambled a little and coughed, looking away with a red face.

Eridan was little surprised that Sollux stuck by him for most of the night, their candy bags steadily filling up with treats. He rambled on about one thing or another, but seemed to be making more jokes than usual. It hit him after a while, bringing a smile to his face. Sollux was trying to cheer him up. He let himself smile and joke around as well, laughing a little.

Kurloz met up with them halfway through their journey, dressed in a skeleton bodysuit with purple shorts over it and matching boots. His face paint was flawless as always, his hair wild as he walked to Mituna. Feferi seemed interested, signing with him for a bit and flitting around to talk to everyone in the group at one point or another.

After the chatter between them had died down, Sollux nudged him with a nervous but determined look. “Teach me a bit of thign language.”

Eridan raised an eyebrow, to which Sollux sighed. “You know it, KZ knowth it, MT knowth it, hell even FF knowth it. I don’t think it would hurt to learn. Jutht…teach me how to introduthe mythelf or thomething.”

It was nice that Sollux wanted to learn, and Eridan would gladly teach him, but he couldn’t resist messing with him a little first. He showed him a few signs, which were in fact how he would introduce himself…if his name was asshole.

Sollux copied the movements, looking at his hands. “Wath that right?”

Eridan could barely hold back a laugh, nodding and gesturing towards Kurloz, who was standing with Mituna and Meulin, who arrived with Kurloz. Sollux walked to them while Eridan turned to Feferi as she walked over.

A moment later he heard “AMPORA !” yelled at him, turning to see a red faced Sollux glaring at him with Kurloz barely restraining laughter, Meulin wrapping her arms around her stomach and Mituna rolling on the floor with laughter. He stormed back over, his arms crossed.

_Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ll teach you for real now. Promise._

Sollux kept Feferi close to make sure Eridan didn’t trick him again, but he picked up the basics pretty fast. He learned how to introduce himself, as well as most of the alphabet on the way to Jade’s house. The house was quaint, with a huge yard containing a greenhouse and some gardening plots, but Karkat led them past the plants to the front door. Kurloz, Mituna and Meulin had broken off from the group about a block ago, leaving just Sollux, Eridan, Karkat, Dave and Feferi standing outside Jade’s house.

The door opened before long, but before anyone could move a huge white blur flew towards them and the next thing Eridan knew he was on the ground. A massive dog sat on his chest, covered in thick white fur and panting heavily as he licked Eridan’s face.

“Bec no! Bad dog, come back here!” Jade yelled, pulling on the dog’s collar until he followed her back into the house. Feferi and Sollux both helped pull Eridan to his feet, and he reluctantly used his cape to wipe slobber off of his face.

The inside of the house was cluttered with various movie posters and potted plants, a pile of pumpkins in the living room.

“Sorry about him,” she sighed, getting him to lay down on his bed and hopefully behave. “He loves meeting new people so he gets excited. Oh, I have the living room set up with Halloween themed movies and snacks. And some pumpkins so we can make jack-o-lanterns!” She seemed especially excited about the last one, getting everyone settled in the living room with The Nightmare Before Christmas in the background and a pumpkin in front of each of them.

Eridan carefully carved a seahorse into his, watching as Fef put a mermaid on hers. Sollux fumbled with the knife, but managed to get a fairly recognizable bee onto his. Karkat’s ended up as a lopsided crab, but he seemed happy with it. Dave made a perfectly generic jack-o-lantern, pulling an extra pair of shades from his pocket and sliding it over the pumpkins eyes and declaring it a Strider. Rose and John, who had arrived before them, had already carved their pumpkins, Rose’s as some Eldritch horror, and Johns as something that looked like Slimer from Ghostbusters. Jade had several jack-o-lanterns scattered throughout the house, putting candles in all of them when they were done.

Once everything was cleaned up, they dug into their candy and the snacks that Jade had set out but it wasn’t long before they were dropping into sleep. Karkat was the first to fall asleep, tumbling over into Dave’s lap though the blonde didn’t seem to mind. John and Jade were next, curling up on beanbags and snoring peacefully. One by one they drifted off, except for Eridan. Maybe he’d eaten too much sugar, but he couldn’t bring himself to sleep. Eventually he stood and carefully picked his way around the others to sit on an empty couch on the other side of the wide living room.

It was almost an hour later when a noise made him jump and look frantically around in the dark.

“Chill, it’th jutht me,” was hissed at him as Sollux sat beside him, his glasses hanging on the end of his nose.

_What are you doing up?_

“I could athk you the thame thing.”

_Couldn’t sleep._

“Ah. Thame.” Sollux leaned back, looking at the ceiling. “Tho…how wath your firtht Halloween?”

Eridan couldn’t hold back a grin. _It was a lot of fun. And I got a ton of chocolate so there’s that._

Sollux nodded, going quiet for a minute.

After a bit, Eridan poked him. _So…what’s going on with you and Fef?_

The Captor raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “Why?”

_She’s my best friend. I don’t want her to start dating any random asshole._

“…she’th a thweet girl and all but…” he shrugged. “I don’t really know her all that well and…er I don’t really think it would work out.”

Eridan nodded a little, feeling guilty about the relief that flooded him. He looked down, yawning.

“Tho…I um…” he seemed awkward, not looking at him. “It’th good that you had fun…are you going to hang out with FF tomorrow?”

He shrugged with one shoulder, not really sure, and yawned again. He felt an arm pull him against a warm chest hesitantly, a blanket draping over them.

“You need thome thleep,” Sollux muttered, closing his own eyes and yawning.

Eridan felt him pull off his glasses and set them on the coffee table. He nudged Sollux and signed “ _Good night_.” Even without knowing much of it, Sollux seemed to understand and smiled a little as they settled into sleep.

“Good night, ED.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all kudos and comments!
> 
> I got some really fantastic fanart that you can all see on my blog right now! For those of you who don't know my tumblr is probablynotawriter I encourage everyone to go look at the wonderful art! Thank you so much to everyone reading this!

Eridan refused to open his eyes, though he’d been awake for a while. Sometime during the night he’d laid across the couch, waking up with warm, bony arms wrapped around him. Hot breath made his hair flutter slightly, a smile coming to his lips as he pressed his face to the others shirt. It smelled like chocolate, along with the perpetual smell of energy drinks and soda that seemed to cling to Sollux. It was an odd combination, but Eridan was far too comfortable to care. He squeezed his eyes shut and listened to Sollux’s relaxed breathing quicken as he woke up. It looked like he had to face reality sooner rather than later.

He opened one eye and up, pulling his face back to meet Sollux’s gaze. The Captor gave him a small, awkward smile, trying to carefully untangle their arms. “Thorry,” he muttered, yawning a little.

Eridan shrugged a bit, but jolted when Feferi vaulted over the back of the couch and almost landed on them. Instead she bounced onto the arm, a wide grin on her face and her hair frizzy from sleep.

“GOOD MORNING!”

He wasn’t sure if it was the surprise of Feferi appearing or the volume of her greeting that surprised Sollux, but either way it was enough to make the Captor sit straight up. The movement shoved Eridan off of his legs, sending him rolling right off the couch. The floor forced his breath from his lungs and he wheezed for a moment while his mind caught up with what happened. Hands hooked under his arms, hauling him off the ground and letting him get his feet under him before they let go. He glanced back at Sollux, who only met his eyes for a moment before practically sprinting towards the kitchen.

Pain prickled behind his ribs but he shrugged it off and looked at Feferi, who winked and elbowed him. “Jade and John are making breakfast. I was gonna wake you two earlier, but you were being way too adora _bubble_. In fact, I was gonna let you sleep, but Kar _crab_ was getting antsy and wanted to wake you. I don’t know what his problem is.” She huffed, blowing some hair out of her face.

Eridan smiled tiredly at her, still fighting off the lasts bits of sleep when it hit him. His expression fell and he looked down guiltily. Feferi took notice immediately and grabbed his hand. “Eri _fin_? Are you _okra_ y?”

‘ _I’m sorry._ ’

“ _Shore_ y? What for?”

‘ _I got all cuddly with your crush! I know you like him, Fef. And I’m not trying to step on your toes or anything here, it just happened. I mean it’s not like we’re dating but I can back off and-_ ’

She burst out laughing, which both surprised and hurt Eridan a little. It must have shown on his face because she immediately stopped. “I’m not laughing at you. _Shore_ y! I just…yeah I _pike_ _Shoal_ lux, but it’s just a _shell_ y crush. I hardly know him and as _frond_ ly as he’s been, I don’t _reel_ ly think he _pikes_ me _pike_ that.” She wrapped her arms around him and giggled again. “I was just…Eri _fin_ you can just be so oblivious sometimes. Never change.”

His brow furrowed and he frowned at her. ‘ _Fef what are you talkin about?_ ’

She let out a deep sigh and shook her head. “Nevermind. Just keep being _frond_ ly with _Shoal_ lux. It’s _perch_ fectly _fin_. I promise.”

Eridan let himself smile a little, nodded and hugged her for a moment before she dragged him into the kitchen. Bec took notice, padding over to him and barking softly. He made Eridan just a little uneasy, but he shoved the discomfort aside and elected to pet the dogs head, finding he was fine as long as he didn’t pay much attention to the pure white fur.

A plate of pancakes was placed in front of him, bacon piled on the side. He looked at the mass of food with wide eyes, jumping when Jade clapped a hand on his back.

“You never eat enough,” she scolded, a grin still wide on her face. “But that’s okay because you’re going to eat now. Dave and Karkat are the same way, so you’re not the only one.”

“Rude,” Dave scoffed, though he was already halfway through his stack of pancakes. “The Strider diet is a perfect balance of the four main food groups; Doritos, Ramen, Soda and Apple juice. We’ve got that food pyramid bullshit under control. Locked down with the tightest of keys thrown far away so no one can unlock it. Where are they? No one knows. If anyone needs that sacred knowledge of the pyramid they can ask a Strider because those keys are long gone. Maybe Jupiter?”

Jade rolled her eyes and flicked him, digging into her own pancakes. Eridan smirked a little at the rambling, eating a few bites before his stomach told him very clearly it didn’t want anymore. The stack was almost intimidating, the pancakes delicious although they clung to the back of his throat. Still, he forced another pancake down his throat, pretending he was hungry. He felt bad, it was a good morning, why wouldn’t he want to eat? Sure, he hadn’t eaten much at home, but this was made for him. It would be rude not to eat it.

He remembered his father staring- no glaring- at him from the other end of the table at dinner parties as he sat next to Cronus in an uncomfortable suit and pushed his food around his plate. He remembered how loud it had been later, when he’d gotten yelled at for embarrassing him in front of his colleagues. The food was better than he deserved, why couldn’t he finish it? Why couldn’t he do one thing right?

Another pancake disappeared from the stack as his stomach worked itself into knots. By the time the plate was empty, he could feel every bite clawing at the back of his throat but he smiled and thanked Jade as best he could for the meal. She grinned and waved it off, saying she was just happy he’d eaten it and making him feel even worse about the way his stomach was churning.

Luckily, he was pulled from his unhappy little thoughts by Feferi’s phone ringing. She jumped to answer it, rolling her eyes at whatever was being said. After a few moments she hung up, sighing. “Jade, what’s your address? My mom’s home _schooner_ than expected and she wants to pick me up.”

Eridan perked up at the mention of Feferi’s mother. He hadn’t seen her in a while, after all. She was intimidating as hell, but nice enough to him at least. He was glad for that more than ever when he saw her mad. He’d only seen it once, when Feferi had been left in tears over something his dad had said, but that was more than enough to sear it into his mind. Cassandra Peixes was _not_ somebody you wanted to piss off.

Feferi gathered her things, looking at Eridan. “Can you text Cro _fish_ and let him know that my mom’s gonna run me by to grab my stuff?”

He nodded, doing so as before picking up the living room a little bit. While he did prefer rooms with a little clutter, he’d spent enough time in the manor that anything left strewn about left him a little on edge and expecting to be punished for the mess. Jade joined in the effort, thanking him brightly as she told him where things went.

It wasn’t long before Feferi was flouncing to the door, her hair in a messy braid thanks to John, with Eridan on her heels and the others following curiously.

“Good morning, Mom!” Feferi chirped, giving her mother a quick hug and receiving a pat on the head.

Cassandra towered over them all, only an inch shorter than Eridan’s father without her heels though she constantly felt the need to wear stilettos. Her hair was pulled out of her face, cascading down her back and only adding to her stunning silhouette. Golden rings lined her fingers, bangles on her wrists much like her daughters and a few necklaces that seemed more elegant than gaudy paired with the sharp cut of her business wear. She wore glasses similar to Feferi’s, though they were sharper looking, that matched the pink of her heels. “Morning, guppy,” she said, turning to grin at Eridan.

“And there’s the little _buoy_. You know, just because you live with Cro _fish_ doesn’t mean you can’t visit. You’re al _waves_ _whale_ come!” He chuckled sheepishly and returned her hug, shrugging. “And don’t worry about your dad none, if he shows his mug around any of my _fry_ his nickname _whale_ hafta be two-dozen scar,” she laughed as she said it, though the glint in her eye was enough to let Eridan know she wasn’t kidding.

Sollux snorted behind them, alerted Cassandra to the fact that there were people in the background. Her gaze focused on Sollux, an eyebrow rising. “And who’re you, _bouy_?”

The Captor froze, looking like he was considering running away. Eridan stepped back to nudge him, trying to look encouraging. Sollux coughed and stepped up, holding out a hand a little hesitantly. “Tholluxth Captor,” he said, grimacing at his lisp.

“Ah so _you’re_ the _Carp_ tor _buoy_ ,” she said, shaking his hand firmly. “Take good care of my little guppy, _okra_ y?”

A flush colored his cheeks and he sputtered for a moment. “FF- we’re not-“

Cassandra laughed. “That’s not who I mean,” she said with a grin, turning on her heel and walking with Feferi back to the fancy car at the end of the driveway. A tall man with long, dark hair that was pulled into a low ponytail stepped out to open the door for them before driving off.

Eridan was a little disappointed to see them go, giving Feferi a huge hug before they’d left, but was mostly trying not to blush. Sollux seemed little in shock, but Jade was having none of it and ushered everyone back inside for a movie marathon. Eridan ended up on the couch, squished between Sollux and Dave, though it only lasted for a bit as one perfectly timed scare left him jumping right into Sollux’s lap.

He quickly tried to stand, signing apologies until Sollux grabbed one of his hands. “It’th fine,” he said, shrugging. “There’th not that much room anyway. It wath going to happen at thome point.” It sounded like he was trying to sound resigned to it, but Eridan thought he saw a tiny smile twitching his lips. He curled up a little, Sollux’s chin resting on top of his head and his back pressed against the others chest. At some point the others arms draped around his waist and he almost fell asleep again.

Slowly, everyone trickled out until only Sollux, Eridan and John were left sprawled on Jade’s couch. Eridan got up, stretching and picking up his cape and candy bag. Before he could get to the door, waving goodbye to Jade, Sollux quickly stood. The Captor scratched the back of his head for a second, glancing at Eridan. “Er…thinthe you’ve been thkipping out on thtudy thessionth…do you wanna come over?”

Eridan raised an eyebrow, not really wanting to do schoolwork.

“Or,” Sollux looked to be backtracking, “we could jutht hang out. Mituna’th been wondering where you are. We could play video gameth or whatever.”

He looked nervous, though Eridan didn’t have a clue as to why, and Eridan gave him a quick smile before nodding. A quick text was sent to Cronus when they left, the walk filled mostly with awkward rambling and a few more lessons in sign language. When they reached Sollux’s house, Mituna burst out the front door and tackled Sollux to the ground.

“THOLLUXTH! YOU’LL NEVER GUETH HOW MUCH CANDY I GOT!!” he screeched, only getting up when Simon stuck his head out the door and told them that lunch was ready. Before Eridan’s brain could catch up to the mess of movement and voices he was seated at the table with a grilled cheese and a pile of chips in front of him.

His stomach turned at the thought of food, but he didn’t want to upset Sollux’s parents or waste food. He smiled and ate the sandwich, listening intently to the conversation to let himself mindlessly eat the chips on his plate. Every bite was hard to swallow, but he cleaned his plate and thanked them for the meal.

Mituna pulled him into the living room, shoving him to sit in front of the television while he set up a game. Sollux laid on the couch behind them, giving Eridan pointers though it didn’t seem to help much as he lost pretty badly. It was fun though, and Eridan was laughing as he shoved his controller into Sollux’s hands. Before long, the three of them had piled pillows and blankets in front of the TV and were curled up, passing the controllers between them until dinner.

Eridan felt a little better about eating dinner, but it was still an effort to clean his plate. Simon seemed delighted that Eridan liked his cooking, giving him some in a Tupperware to take home. “These boys won’t eat all of it,” he assured him.

After another hour of games, Simon asked Eridan if he needed a ride home. He gratefully accepted, Sollux offering to ride with. The van was filled with chattering for the whole ride, Eridan listening idly and watching a little bobblehead on the dashboard.

Before he got out of the car, he turned to Sollux and pulled out his phone.

_If you’re not doin anythin tomorrow, do you want to come hang out?_

Sollux took a moment to answer, just nodding and giving him a grin with a little, “Thure.”

Eridan grinned back and walked into the house, flopping onto the couch where Cronus was half asleep. He glanced over at him, yawning and looking back at the television. “You have fun?”

‘ _Yeah. It was a lot of fun. We watched a lot of movies and carved pumpkins._ ’

“Good. Feferi got her stuff and left earlier. Her mom said we should visit sometime.”

‘ _She said that to me too. Sounds like fun._ _She also basically said she’d kick Dad’s ass if he showed up._ ’

Cronus burst into laughter, grinning widely. “That sounds like Cassandra alright. Remember when she slapped him for making Feferi cry?”

‘ _Of course I do. He was pissed. I don’t think I left my room for a week._ ’

That made his older brother look at him with concern. “Really? I mean…I know I wasn’t there a lot but…you had to have left sometime, right?”

Eridan shrugged. ‘ _Not until he went on his next business trip and you came home._ ’

He looked guilty. “Shit…I’m sorry, Eri. I shoulda gotten you outta there sooner.”

‘ _It’s fine. I’m out of there now, aren’t I?_ ’

Cronus sighed, leaning back against the couch. “Yeah. You never hafta go back there. I promise.”

Eridan smiled a little, yawning. ‘ _Thanks, Cro. I’m gonna go to bed, okay? Oh, and Sol is comin over tomorrow._ ’

He grimaced but shrugged. “Alright. Goodnight, Eri.”

Eridan trudged into his room, putting on his pajamas and flopping onto the bed. He fell asleep quickly, waking only when Cronus knocked on his door. He sat up, grimacing and shuffling to the door and opening it.

“Mornin’, chief. Your friend is here.”

Eridan raised an eyebrow, tilting his head. ‘ _What? This early?_ ’

Cronus chuckled, ruffling his hair. “It’s almost one in the afternoon, Eri. He’s in the living room.”

He pushed his hands away, disappearing into his room to get dressed. When he reemerged Sollux was sitting on the couch, looking a little awkward, while Cronus made something in the kitchen. The teens elected to watch movies in Eridan’s room, curling on his comfortable bed with the laptop open in front of them. After a DVD or two it became background noise as Sollux talked about school and his family and occasionally asked questions Eridan answered the best he could until Cronus let them know that pizza had arrived.

Eridan and Sollux sat on the couch, elbowing each other as they tried to eat. There were smiles on both of their faces, laughter spilling around bites of pizza and Eridan didn’t think he’d been this happy for a while. Sure, Feferi was great, but something about Sollux was different in a way that Eridan didn’t want to think too hard about. He was happy for the friendship, not willing to ruin it by considering what Feferi had said. And Nepeta. No, he wasn’t going to think about it.

Cronus offered to drive Sollux home after dinner, but Sollux insisted he was fine to walk and left with an awkward wave. Eridan curled onto his bed, calling Feferi and relaying the events of the weekend.

“Oh! So, he came over?”

‘ _Yeah. We just watched movies and stuff._ ’

She smirked a little. “Sooooooo how is he?”

‘ _Good? He seemed happy to hang out…as happy as he ever is._ ’

“I’m _shore_ he was,” she chirped, still with a knowing smirk.

‘ _Why? He’s a good friend of mine. Of course, we like hangin out. Or…well we’re at least friends._ ’ He shrugged. ‘ _He’s been acting really weird lately, so I’m glad that’s over._ ’

“Weird?”

‘ _Like he’s been really pissy lately. I told him about being homeschooled and he got kinda nosy or mad about random things with that and asking other questions about when I was a kid. And he got mad when I couldn’t go to tutoring things? I don’t get it._ ’

“Maybe he’s not mad a _boat_ missing _trout_ on tutoring,” she mused, resting her chin on her hand.

‘ _Then what would he be mad about?_ ’

She sighed, burying her face in a pillow for a moment. “Just…think a _boat_ it, _okra_ y?”

Eridan was still confused, but nodded. At least that seemed to appease her. After a few more minutes of conversation they said their goodbyes and hung up. He still had absolutely no clue what Sollux could have been mad about. Maybe he’d ask in the morning.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I'm sorry this took so long! I really hope I can get the next one out on time!

Eridan woke to the smell of bacon and a grumble in his stomach that made him sit up. He dragged himself from his bed, the blanket around his shoulders trailing like the cape he’d worn over the weekend. He forgot his glasses on his nightstand, rubbing his eyes as he squinted into the kitchen. Without the thick frames, he could barely see a few feet before the blurring started, leaving his brother a headache inducing static figure milling about the kitchen. He could see the shapes, but none of the details of the room or the person in it that would let him recognize them if he didn’t already know who they were.

He yawned hard enough to pop his jaw, shuffling closer to look at the frying eggs and bacon on the stove.

“Mornin’, Chief,” Cronus said reaching out and ruffling Eridan’s already messy hair. The younger Ampora whined halfheartedly and smacked his hand away, his curly locks drooping into his face. “You’ve got company in the living room. Breakfast will be ready in a few.”

Company? Perhaps Karkat had dropped by early? Eridan turned to the living room, squinting towards the blurry shape of a person sitting on the couch. They were too tall to be Karkat, and he’d probably have heard some kind of yelling if it had been him.

“Nithe hair,” a familiar voice quipped, the smirk obvious in his voice.

Eridan realized exactly how messy his hair was, falling into his face in a jumble of curls, his face reddening quickly as he gave the other a quick wave and darted to his room. He didn’t know why Sollux would be in his living room this early, but he still didn’t like the fact that Sollux had seen him like that. For as much as his life wasn’t together, he liked to think his appearance was, and he’d prefer to keep that image for Sollux. Sure, Karkat and Dave had seen him with unbrushed hair and baggy pajamas, but this was Sollux.

He got ready quickly, spending just a little extra time on his hair to avoid any comments on it. Not a curl was out of place when he was done, stepping back into the living room with his glasses on. This time he could clearly see Sollux sitting on the couch, a piece of bacon sticking out of his mouth. Apparently, Cronus was feeling generous enough to feed the unexpected guest, though Eridan still got the feeling he didn’t like the Captor much.

His own plate was shoved into his hands, a pile of scrambled eggs beside a few strips of bacon. He sat on the couch, nibbling on the end of a piece of bacon. A nudge made him jump, glaring at Sollux when he realized the others sneaker was against his thigh. “Hurry up and eat tho we can get to thchool,” he said, his plate already empty.

Eridan stood and moved toward the kitchen when he was startled again by Sollux grabbing his arm. “What are you doing? Eat.”

The plate was warm, almost too hot to hold in his hands as he looked down at the food. He shrugged, poking at the eggs for a moment. Cronus had disappeared into his room, so he wouldn’t notice if Eridan dumped the breakfast and headed out. Sollux didn’t seem satisfied with the shrug, frowning and tugging Eridan to sit back down. “We’ve got time. Jutht eat it.”

Eridan sighed and shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth, grimacing as he ate. The food was good, but he still wasn’t used to eating so much. At home he spent most of his time in his room, only eating regularly when Feferi forced him to or his dad was out of town. He guessed that was why he didn’t get hungry much, or ignored it mostly out of habit when he was. When it was gone he left his plate in the sink and followed Sollux out the door.

A few feet from the door, he pulled out his phone and elbowed Sollux to get his attention.

_Care to explain why you were in my living room this morning?_

“KK got a ride from DS,” he shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans.

_That doesn’t answer my question._

“Well, don’t you uthually walk to thchool with him? Geeth, try to do a guy a favor.”

Eridan looked at his feet for a moment, still not quite understanding why Sollux was walking him to school just because Karkat couldn’t.

“…look. I didn’t think you’d want to walk by yourthelf but hey if you’re gonna be a dick about it I can jutht fuck off.”

He saw the Captor stepping away, his pace quickening. Without giving it much thought, he reached out and grabbed Sollux’s hand, tapping away at his phone with the other.

_That’s not what I meant. Just forget it. You-_

Eridan paused, running through words in his head as Sollux’s eyes flicked across the screen. “I what?”

_You don’t have to leave._

He became acutely aware that his hand was still gripping Sollux’s, letting go and fiddling with his scarf. Saying that he didn’t understand Sollux would be an understatement, the teen’s actions an enigma.

_I mean you can if you want to. It just seems a little odd to come all this way to walk me to school and just leave. Not that anythin you do makes a bit of sense. It’s like confusin me is your favorite hobby lately._

Sollux rolled his eyes before looking at his hand and shoving it into his pocket again. “What’th that thuppothed to mean?”

_What does it sound like, dumbass? Honestly, it’s exhaustin tryin to keep up with you. One minute you’re makin fun a me for who knows what, the next your actin like you actually give two shits and then you get fuckin mad at me for no reason! It’s really startin to piss me off._

“I have plenty of reathon to make fun of you and we both know it. You’re thtupid thcarveth and thriped pantth, trying way too hard to look cool but jutht looking like a nerd. Theriouthly, who are you trying to fool?”

_Yes, I know I’m a fuckin disgrace in everythin I ever do, thanks for rubbin it in my face first thin in the mornin. Best part of wakin up is bein reminded that I’m pathetic._

Sollux paused, raising an eyebrow. “I…come on, ED. You know I’m jutht teathing. You’re not… totally pathetic.”

_Mhm. Thanks._

Eridan shoved his phone into his pocket, stalking ahead of Sollux. He didn’t know why he bothered trying to understand him. Nothing good came of it. He felt a hand on his, glancing back. For the second time that morning their warm palms pressed together, fingers interlocking slightly.

“You can’t futh at me for walking off and then do the thame. Look… I’m not mad at you, okay? I don’t know why the fuck you’d think I wath but-“ he cut off and blinked as Eridan’s phone was suddenly shoved into his face.

_You got pissy when I said I couldn’t go to tutoring after school. And when I was late one morning. And when I told you shit about home. You’ve been mad a lot lately, and all of it seems to have something to do with me._

“Oh, thomebody’th got an ego. Newth flash, dicklick, the world doethn’t revolve around you,” Sollux snapped, shoving Eridan’s phone away. Eridan’s shoulders fell and he yanked his hand from Sollux’s, looking away. “Wait- shit- look, I didn’t- I’m not mad at you okay? I jutht…got uthed to you being around. It’th…fun and Mituna liketh you, which ith thomething not a lot of my friendth can thay. It jutht caught me off guard.”

_And the shit about my life?_

“I thtand by everything I thaid. Your dad thoundth like a dick from what you told me. I wathn’t mad at you…jutht fruthtrated.”

_Why?_

“Becauthe you act like it’th nothing that your dad fuckin neglected you.”

Eridan flinched. _He was just busy._

“And that shit! You keep making excutheth.”

_Well it’s true! And why the fuck do you care?_

“…we’re friendth, aren’t we? Friendth give a shit about each other. Which meanth I can think your dad ith an athhole.”

_…fine. But that doesn’t explain how you went from that to being so…sweet all weekend._

“Thweet?”

_Helpin me fall asleep, hangin out with me for basically the whole time, and even this. Walkin me to school. Hell, you’re almost a proper gentleman for once._

Sollux glanced away. “It’th…nothing. Jutht felt like it. I mean it’s not like you’re _horrible_ to be around.”

Eridan sighed and let the silence cover them for a bit, the school rising in front of them before he could think of anything that didn’t sound ridiculous. Sollux plopped down at their usual table, Eridan following suit. Rose and Dave were having some sort of snark off while Kanaya looked more than a little amused, Karkat rolled his eyes and John barely stifled giggles. The siblings barely acknowledged the new arrivals, though John gave them a wave.

The Ampora nudged his Calc notes in front of Sollux, twirling his pencil in his fingers. Even if he still didn’t quite understand why Sollux was mad, he hoped maybe getting back into their routine could fix it. Sollux rolled his eyes but a small smile touched his lips as he scrawled notes across the paper. Eridan let himself lean in more as the tutoring continued and when the bell rang he found himself with his arm pressed against Sollux’s. Both of them got up and neither said a word until they got into the hall. Sollux’s fingers tapped against his leg as he spoke and Eridan found himself trying to subtly brush his knuckles against the others hand. As soon as he realized what he was doing he shoved his hands in his pockets and listened to Sollux complain about how boring class was going to be. It wasn’t until he’d sat at his desk that he realized Sollux had walked him to first period.

Karkat was oddly quiet, leaving the class almost boring. At least art didn’t have that issue, especially as a new project was assigned. They were working the paper mache specifically this time, asked to create a creature of some kind and given free reign from there. Eridan thought for a while, frowning at the lack of ideas. He could do a seahorse, sure, but it didn’t really inspire him. Perhaps he should make something for someone else? It was already the beginning of November. Christmas would be here before he knew it and he sure as hell wasn’t asking for money to buy presents.

An idea popped into his head and he grinned a little, shaping the wire skeleton and building newspaper around it. 3D art had never been his forte, but he’d do his best. Considering who he was planning to give it to, he was sure it would be fine. The bell rang too soon, but at least swimming was something he could enjoy. The coach was stricter with the meet coming up and Eridan’s limbs were shaky by the end of the class but he was grinning from exhilaration. He couldn’t wait for the meet, the thrill of competition already running through his veins.

Lunch came before he knew it, the sound of the cafeteria washing over him in a familiar buzz as he took a seat at the table. Sollux and Karkat seemed to be having a hushed argument, the formers cheeks red as he scowled at the latter. As soon as Eridan sat down, Sollux quickly pulled away from the conversation, shoving himself to his feet and lightly tugging on Eridan’s scarf to pull him into the lunch line. Eridan made sure to scoop his notebook up before pulling the cloth from Sollux’s grip and heading for the only organized area of the cafeteria.

_What was that all about?_

“What?” Sollux snipped, looking just a touch more irritable than normal.

_You and Kar were arguin about somethin. Don’t use me as an excuse to escape if you’re not gonna tell me what you’re escaping from._

“If it wath any of your buthineth, I would. But it’th not.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, poking Sollux in the shoulder and pointing to the last sentence again.

“I’m not uthing you ath an ethcape excuthe tho jutht mind your own damn buthineth!” he snapped, glaring at Eridan for a second before looking away.

Eridan tried to hide the way he flinched, or the step back he took, behind a dramatic pout. He could only hope the cold fear and confusion that curled in his chest wasn’t visible in his eyes.

_Rude._

He glanced at the line before them, then at Sollux’s still tense shoulders before darting out of line. He heard Sollux say something behind him, but he didn’t stop until he’d swung his bag over his shoulder and practically sprinted to the library. The librarian barely glanced at he slipped between the shelves and grabbed a random book to lose himself in.

A sharp pang shot through his abdomen, his stomach complaining about the lack of food it had been slowly getting used to, but he just opened the book. He hated that he was basically hiding in here, but then again had he ever done anything else. Even at home he always looked for a way out, hiding in his room or at Feferi’s, peeking around corners and darting across doorways. All because of the cold fear that even the slightest anger sparked. He hated that he flinched when people yelled or snapped at him, that he panicked at the thought of making someone mad at him. He hated that he was weak, throwing up shields in dodged questions and drama, but there was nothing he could do.

The words on the page in front of him swirled with his thoughts, rendering them useless in distracting him. He huffed and slammed the book shut, jamming it back onto the shelf and making his way to class. He reached the door with the bell only just beginning to ring in his ears, Mr. Captor raising a brow at him as he ducked through the doorway before anyone else. Luckily, he wasn’t the type to ask if something was wrong, simply handing him a worksheet and moving to the door to greet the other students.

Eridan let himself focus on the classwork, even as the confusion turned to irritation that had Eridan drumming his fingers against his desk. He sighed and pushed himself to his feet at the sound of the bell. Ms. Leijon seemed more worried, asking if he was feeling well or if he wanted to go to the nurse. He waved off the concern, answering just enough questions to get her off his back before he could escape to Biology. Of course, that class had Jade, who just _had_ to know why he’d run off during lunch.

He shrugged, giving a half-assed excuse about not feeling good that led to more questions he didn’t feel like answering and ended up flat out ignoring. She only gave up when Ms. Lalonde started the lesson, though the look in her eye said that if Eridan didn’t get out of there fast after class she’d start up right where she left off.

As soon as the bell rang he ducked out of the door, feeling a bit bad for ditching Jade but too irritated to imagine much good coming from sticking around. Mr. Strider’s class was the same as always, fast paced and interesting. At least it was enough to distract him for a bit. That distraction was gone as soon as he stepped out of class, messy hair and mismatched eyes greeting him in the hall.

Eridan’s eyes narrowed, his hand tight on his bag as he tried to walk past him only to hear Sollux call out after him, “What the fuck, ED? Tho you’re ignoring me now?”

He grit his teeth and turned around, phone in hand. Writing it would take too long, he wanted to get this over with. _What do you want?_

“I _want_ to know why the hell you ditched uth at lunch. KK threw a hithy fit but no one knew where you were going. What giveth?”

_Take a wild guess, Captor._

“Oh, tho we’re back to latht nameth. Clathy, Ampora. What, did you get your little feelingth hurt when I told you to mind your own buthineth?” His tone had turned mocking, though his expression said he was only teasing. Still, Eridan couldn’t help the hurt that twisted his features.

_Like you’re one to talk._

“Whatever. What’th your problem, anyway? Jutht tell me tho I can get KK to calm down.”

Part of Eridan was appalled that Sollux didn’t seem to understand what he was doing, while the other part really wanted to punch him for it. He wanted to ball Sollux’s shirt in his fists and scream at him to make sense, to yell and beg and say anything because spoken words would have more impact than anything he could put on paper. Almost forgetting, his threw his hands in the air and opened his mouth, hating how no matter what he did not a sound would come out. Text wasn’t enough, it couldn’t be enough. But it was all he had.

_YOU’RE MY PROBLEM!_

Sollux’s mouth fell open for a moment, confusion silencing him.

_You might see this as some big game, but it’s not very fun to be completely in the dark. I’m tired of being yanked around trying to keep up with you, of never knowing when the fuck you’re going to switch it up next. You hate me one minute, then act like you actually give a shit the next, then get angry over nothing! I don’t know what your angle is but it’s really starting to piss me off, so until you make up your fucking mind I’m just done dealing with your shit. It’s… exhausting._

Sollux glanced away, his mouth pressed into a thin line for a long moment. Eridan used the silence to walk past him, but for the second time he heard a voice.

“You wanna thee a movie thith weekend?”

Eridan jumped, turning with wide eyes to look at him.

_What?_

“I thaid, do you want to thee a movie thith weekend? Come on, ED, keep up. I’ll even let you pick.”

Eridan eyed him warily. _You know this doesn’t make me any less irritated with you, right? What is this all about anyway._

Sollux shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets, a crooked smile on his face.

“I’m making up my mind.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long my life's been a little hectic lately but I'll try to keep up with my stories, the uploads just might be a little slow

“He’s making up his mind?”

Fef’s head tilted to the side, a raised eyebrow visible behind her thick glasses. Her hair was mostly pulled up into a messy bun, though she was braiding a bit that had fallen into her face.

Eridan shrugged, flopping onto his bed with a huff before raising his head just enough to look at the screen and sign. ‘ _I know, right? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Making up his mind? Is he gonna actually stop this back and forth b.s. or what? And what does the movies hafta do with it?’_

“Eri _fin_ , I’m not confused about what _Shoal_ lux is talking a _boat_ ,” Feferi frowned, running her fingers through the finished braid to undo it and separating the hair to start over. “I’m just wondering why you’re so confused a _boat_ it. It _breams_ kinda obvi _fish_ to me.”

He sat up and squinted at the screen, adjusting his glasses. Why wasn’t she as confused as he was? Sollux was being just as cryptic as always, but he seemed to be the only one who couldn’t figure it out. Feferi had even seemed excited about the development until Eridan shared his confusion about the matter. ‘ _What the hell is obvious about it? I mean if he’s going to stick with us being friends instead of rivals or whatever the fuck that was great, but I still don’t get how movies fit in. We’ve watched movies together, sure, but why the theater this time?’_

Feferi groaned, dragging her hands down her face before crossing her arms. “You _minnow_ what? I’m not telling you what I think it means.”

His jaw fell open for a moment and he fumbled a little before replying. ‘ _What? Why not? Fef if you know what’s goin on why not just tell me?’_

“Two reasons,” she said, holding up two fingers. “One, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be _reef_ me if I did tell you, since you’re so set on being oblivi _fish_ to it. Two, if I’m wrong it would probably mess things up. Just ask him yourself!”

‘ _I can’t do that!’_

“And why _knot_?”

‘ _Because I don’t want to piss him off again! Irritating as he is normally I prefer it when he actually is somewhat sociable to me.’_

“And why is that?”

Eridan paused, looking at his hands. He didn’t understand where Feferi was going with this, or why it was important. He didn’t understand much of anything at this point. Sollux’s inability to give a straight answer, the way everyone but him seemed to be in on it, or why the hell Feferi cared exactly what he thought about Sollux. ‘ _He’s my friend? Don’t you normally like when your friends treat you kindly?_ ’

“But if he’s so irritating and mean to you, why would you even want to be his _frond?_ ”

She had a point. Why would Eridan want to be friends with someone who made him feel like shit on a regular basis? Then again, Sollux didn’t always do that, now did he? ‘ _Because when he’s not bein an ass…I like bein around him. He’s rude, sure, but he can be funny and even downright charming when he wants to be. Isn’t that enough reason to want to be someone’s friend, that you like being around them?_ ’

“Of course!” Feferi chirped, “I just-” she paused, scrunching her face up as she tried to piece together her thoughts.

‘ _Fef. I just want to understand what he’s playin at. This whole thin seemed to come outta left field and I’m kinda bein thrown for a loop._ ’

“Eri _fin_ , think a _boat_ it. He asked you to go somewhere with him, which you said is different from how you normally hang out. The movies are a little cliché, _shore_ , but-“

‘ _Wait! You think- He might be askin me out…like a date?_ ’

“I think it’s a possibility, at least.”

Eridan shook his head, a frown etching into his face. ‘ _That’s crazy, Fef. Why on Earth would he be askin me to go on a date?_ ’

She tilted her head, blinking slowly in confusion. “Because he likes you?”

‘ _And why would he do that?_ ’

Before she could answer, a voice rang through her doorway though it was too far away for Eridan to hear anything but noise. Feferi rolled her eyes and looked back to shout, “Coming, Mom!” With a quick good bye, she was gone, leaving Eridan to sit and think for the rest of the night.

He was still thinking when morning came, going over what Feferi had said, what Sollux had said and what it all could mean. Could Sollux like him? Was it even worth considering the possibility? Was Eridan even interested?

A knock at the door made him jump, rising from his seat on the couch to greet Karkat and Sollux at the door. They seemed to be having a hushed discussion, though as soon as the door opened they fell silent. The walk to school seemed almost tense, though Eridan couldn’t figure out why.

In the library, it was much the same, though at least Sollux seemed to be keeping his mind made up. The jabs were still there, but none of them cut quite as deep as some in the past, the superficial bickering kept at a level that felt almost comfortable. Still, Eridan couldn’t help thinking about what Feferi had said. Was it really a date? Should he ask, even if just to be sure? Anxiety curled in his stomach, though he couldn’t tell if it was anticipation or dread. Which would be worse, if it was meant to be a date or not? If not, would that ruin the fragile friendship they’d built so far, the foundation crumbling beneath them until the very possibility of it slipped away. Eridan tensed on the way to first period, not looking at Karkat for a few minutes.

About halfway through class, Karkat nudged him, concern and irritation in their usual mix on his face. “What the fuck is up with you?”

Eridan chewed his lip, glancing down as he tapped his pencil against the off-white paper of his sketchbook.

_Sollux asked me to go to the movies with him._

Karkat stared at the words for a long moment, his eye twitching. “That little shit,” he muttered. Eridan almost asked what he was talking about, but Karkat was already dragging his hands over his face. “ _That’s_ what he was being so dodgy about? The fact that he finally got his shit together?” He froze and suddenly looked at Eridan, making the other freeze. “So what did you say?”

_I said yes. But I’ve been thinking about it more and I-_

“If you’re going to turn him down, you should just do that-“

_Do you think it’s a date?_

Eridan watched Karkat’s face go blank as he processed the words scratched with ink into the paper. “I swear,” he hissed under his breath, slumping back in his chair and staring at the ceiling. “I give up. I’m not you’re Sollux translator. Ask him yourself.”

Karkat spent the rest of the class refusing to elaborate, leaving Eridan to think about actually asking Sollux. By the time lunch came around, he was seriously considering spending it in the library but this time his hunger won out. Sollux didn’t say anything through lunch, only briefly mentioning that Eridan was welcome over after swim practice.

At least practice cleared his mind, replacing whatever anxiety with adrenaline and excitement for the upcoming competition. He avoided Feferi’s questions as to whether he had asked Sollux or not, talking instead about what he could wear, regardless of if it was a date or not. He let her look over the different outfits he had, her opinion on most of them being that he looked too tense, though Eridan hardly thought that was the clothing’s fault.

The next morning had Sollux showing up alongside Karkat again, though they didn’t seem to be bickering this time. Karkat seemed annoyed, but then again, when wasn’t he? Sollux at least seemed more relaxed, which was nice. When he was in a bad mood, it wasn’t good for anyone involved.

As Eridan finished some homework, he felt someone poke him in the shoulder. He glanced up to see Sollux looking at him with poorly hidden nerves. “Tho, about the movie thing. Ith Friday okay?”

Eridan paused and the nervousness became even more noticeable as Sollux’s face fell just a little. “If you’re thtill up for it. KK wath talking about him and DS tagging along, tho it’th fine either way.”

Eridan looked over at Karkat, relaxing a little. Date or not, having more friends around would be nice. He shrugged. _I’m still up for it. Friday’s fine, I can meet you there. What movie?_

“Well, I did thay it wath your pick,” Sollux shrugged.

_Yeah but I don’t really know what’s playing. Honestly, you can pick the movie._

Sollux’s eyes brightened a little. “Really? Even if it’th jutht thome dumb thcifi action flick?”

_Sure. Why not? What did you think I was gonna make you watch some cheesy romance?_

He glanced away a little sheepishly. “You’re dramatic enough to like that shit.”

Eridan snorted, amused and rolling his eyes. The bell rang and although Eridan still didn’t know if it was a date or not, he was comfortable for now. He glanced at Karkat during first period, the other sighing.

“I only fucking offered because both of you are so painfully oblivious I need to make sure you two don’t fuck this any further.”

_So. Why invite Dave?_

A blush flared across his cheeks. “Because he’s just as pathetically oblivious as the two of you. Also, he asked and I thought us going together was a good idea because groups keep it from getting awkward.”

Eridan shrugged. _Understandable. I let Sollux pick the movie, so I hope it’s interesting. I’ve never really been to an actual movie theater._

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t?”

_No? I didn’t really do that kind of stuff as a kid. I mostly stayed inside and did my schoolwork._

There was a heavy pause. “Well, at fucking least you can go now. It’ll be fan-fucking-tastic, I’m sure of it.”

Eridan nodded, shrugging as they continued with class. Now that he was able to focus again, the next class became easier. In the day before, when he’d been distracted by the whole situation it had been hard to even think about working on his project. Nepeta looked up from the cat she was piecing together, smiling at him a little.

“Someone is in a better mood,” she chirped, grinning at him. He only answered with a shrug, but that seemed to be enough for her. Eridan’s own creature was giving him a bit of trouble, the details not wanting to work how he pictured them.

Swimming class was normal, with the class mostly excited for the upcoming swim meet. Eridan sighed when that class ended, not really wanting to go to speech. At least it went by quickly, and Eridan felt much less apprehension about going to the cafeteria. Sollux greeted him with crooked grin, most of the tension from that morning gone.

Eridan picked at the greasy cafeteria food, but ate most of it nonetheless as he listened to Sollux and Karkat argue over who’s movie taste was worse. He was a little surprised when Sollux walked with him to his next class, but the other insisted his own class was on the same floor so it was fine. Mr. Captor seemed a little surprised to see his son, but Eridan ducked into the classroom and sat down. The class seemed to pass pretty fast, though the same could be said for the rest of the afternoon. Ms. Leijon’s class was quiet, as they had a new book to study. The beanbags scattered across the room seemed even more comfortable than usual, especially the one in the corner that Eridan usually took. Ms. Lalonde handed out a worksheet for a new lab, which Jade excitedly declared that she would be Eridan’s partner for. Mr. Strider was energetic, starting a new unit that had a little too much math for Eridan’s taste, but at least he tried to make it interesting.

At practice, the swim team got the schedule for the meet and Eridan was a little nervous to see his name on both an individual race and a relay. He’d do his best, but he hadn’t been part of a competition in a while.

He got home and helped Cronus cook dinner, doing homework and listening to music until he fell asleep. The next morning, Eridan felt a bit of anxiety prick at his stomach when he saw Sollux and Karkat ready to walk to school, remembering the plans for the next day. He gave them a smile though and walked with them.

Their table was full when they got there, Rose and Kanaya being sassy about something while Dave kicked his feet up on the other side of the table and leaned his chair far enough back to give Eridan anxiety. The three of them pulled up chairs and sat down, though it wasn’t long before the bell rang.

The first class passed fast, Karkat seeming to be excited for the following day. Eridan smiled back at him, standing as the bell rang and getting to his art class. With the skeleton of his creature done, he began to paper mache it, grimacing a little at the glue speckling his shirt. It was nice to see his creation coming together.

Swim was getting more hectic by the day, the thrill of competition pushing them to practice as hard as they could. It was only a week until the meet after all. Of course, that left Eridan exhausted as he slumped to his speech class. It was the slowest class so far, but lunch still came quickly enough. Eridan ate more of his lunch than usual, though he still pushed some of the food on the tray away from himself. Sollux seemed to notice, dropping a bag of chips from his own lunch in front of the other and giving him a pointed look until he ate it.

Calculus dragged on with a review for a test, though Eridan wasn’t near as nervous as he had been for previous tests. Still, he’d probably get Sollux to help him study. If everything went well, that is.

Ms. Leijon led a class discussion, as excited about this book as she’d been about the other as she assigned their first essay for it. Biology was the lab they’d gone over yesterday, which was easy enough especially with Jade as his lab partner. Physics was a little frustrating, but at least it was the last class of the day. Even with swim practice after school, Eridan was still home before long, calling Feferi.

She grinned at when she answered. “Hi, Eri _fin_!”

He waved, her smile turning even more excited as she leaned closer to the camera. “So? How’d it go? Did you ask _Shoal_ lux?”

Eridan’s face fell a little. ‘ _Not exactly, but it’s not just us going to the movies. Karkat and Dave are tagging along._ ’

“Oh? _Whale_ at least if it gets awkward Kar _crab_ _whale_ be there. The only thing is, what are you going to wear?”

There was a heavy pause as Eridan glanced at his closet. ‘ _Why?_ ’

“ _Whale_ , you’ve gotta wear something nice, right? Even if it isn’t a date, you’re still going out! You can dress up in something really cute!” Her eyes practically sparkled as she clapped excitedly. “You could even wear that sundress I got you! It would be so pretty!”

Eridan’s eyes widened a little. ‘ _I don’t know about that, Fef._ ’

“Why not? You’re not at your dad’s house anymore, you can wear what you want!”

‘ _Yeah, but-_ ‘ he sighed and gave her a smile back. ‘ _I’ll give it a shot. It is a nice dress._ ’

She grinned and nodded, chattering about how excited she was for him, though Eridan felt a bit nervous about wearing the nice outfit. Feferi might have the confidence to wear whatever she wanted, but he didn’t really know if he shared that ability.

They said their goodbyes and Eridan stood, opening his closet and looking at the dress. It was nice, that was for sure, but he closed the door without another thought. He’d worry about it tomorrow.

The next morning, he felt a little sick, the nerves back full force. Cronus seemed to notice, though he didn’t do anything except ask if Eridan was feeling alright. It was easy enough to smile and nod, picking apart his breakfast and rushing out to join the others before his brother could worry about him more.

He hoped he didn’t look as distracted as he felt, passing it off as being busy as he looked over his homework until the bell rang. Karkat seemed concerned, his worried questions not nearly as easy to brush off as his brothers had been.

_I’m fine. I promise. Don’t worry so much, Kar._

“Wow, that’s convincing,” he huffed, but let it go.

Luckily, the class was over and he was able to let himself focus almost entirely on his project. His next class was similarly distracting, though speech had nothing to keep his mind off the upcoming afternoon.

At lunch, Sollux announced the movie that they’d be seeing, which was nothing Eridan had heard of but evidently it was “useless action-packed drivel” according to Karkat so at least it wouldn’t be boring.

The afternoon’s classes passed quickly, with Sollux waiting for him outside of his final period.

“My dad thaid he can drive, tho I didn’t know if you wanted to hang out until then or…”

Eridan shook his head a little. ‘ _I’ve still gotta get ready. But just let me know before you get there._ ’

Sollux hid the way his face fell rather well, but Eridan could still see it enough to feel bad. “It should be right around thixth. Okay?”

Eridan nodded, hurrying home and opening. He had a couple of hours, and one question.

What _was_ he going to wear?


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry this took so long. I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I promise I will try to post as soon as I can.  
> Just a head's up there is a TW for blood mentions, panic attacks and such in this chapter.

Eridan frowned as he stared into the mirror he’d leaned against his closet door, smoothing the skirt down nervously. The sundress came just past his knees, with striped tights underneath and a pair of black flats. He brushed most of the gel from his hair, leaving it in its natural curls beside his face, though he found himself fiddling with one of the longer locks as he studied his reflection. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the dress, the truth almost the exact opposite, but he couldn’t help the apprehension that curled in his stomach, the sharp, cold spines of panic making his hands tremble slightly. The dress wasn’t the problem, he was. He could almost hear people muttering, their judgmental stares slicing into him although there wasn’t anyone else in the room.

He took a deep breath, remembering how much Feferi had insisted that it was ‘adora _bubble_ ’, though the memory of sharp yells echoing against his skull was more than enough to remind him that not everyone was as kind as she was. In the back of his mind he could see Sollux, face scrunched up as he walked away. Date or not, it was too easy to picture the adverse reaction.

A soft knock rang from his door, the creak of it opening following soon after. Eridan’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes met the pinkish red of Kankri’s, the other’s eyes widening for a moment before he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

Eridan felt his heart leap into his throat, his shoulders tensing as he took a step away from the door. He knew that he shouldn’t be scared of Kankri, but he couldn’t help the anxiety that bubbled up. Anything could happen after all, from backhanded comments to outright mocking. It wasn’t like that hadn’t happened before. Instead, Kankri stepped forward almost hesitantly.

“Eridan, if there is something you need to discuss I want you to know that I am always here. I can understand that there are some things that might be difficult to bring up or discuss with your brother, but I would be more than happy to listen and even help you if you are questioning anything. In fact, I’d probably understand better than Cronus could-“

Eridan shook his head, raising his hands in front of him with his eyes widening a little. ‘ _It’s not- I just really like the dress. I’m just…not sure about wearing it tonight._ ’

Kankri paused for a moment, which was longer than Eridan had ever seen him silent for. “I understand, I’m sorry if I jumped to conclusions. But… if you ever need to talk about anything, to do with this or not, just know that I’m always available.” The Vantas gave him an encouraging smile, but it dropped as a crash from the kitchen made them both jump. “I should probably see what trouble Cronus has gotten himself into…at the very least to make sure he hasn’t lit something on fire.” He sighed a little, but the smile never disappeared completely.

‘ _Thank you, Kankri,_ ’ he signed quickly, looking back at the mirror as he stepped out. He frowned, scrutinizing the reflection for a long moment.

A few minutes later, he stepped out of his room. The dress was mostly violet, with a black belt and accents, a little black jacket draped over his shoulders. He ran his fingers through his hair, picking at the curls nervously as he added just a bit of makeup in the bathroom. Why not complete the look after all? His hands were shaking so hard he had them curled into fists that left little red crescents on his palms, carefully putting one foot in front of the other as he stepped into the living room.

Cronus was being ushered out of the kitchen by an exasperated Kankri, who was apparently declaring that he would be fixing dinner, the sight of them enough to make Eridan’s breath catch in his throat. He couldn’t do this, feeling the need to race to his room and put on something else. To hide the dress and pretend he never thought he could wear it out because why would he, he couldn’t do this. He braced himself for yelling when Cronus saw him, for the same reaction that came from the man he looked so much like when Eridan had been twelve and let Feferi dress him up however she liked. He’d liked the colorful shirts and fluffy skirts back then, happy to let her practice makeup if he got to feel pretty afterwards.

He saw his brother step towards him and closed his eyes, tense and shaking and ready to break. But the only thing that happened was Cronus ruffling his hair. There was a moment before Eridan relaxed, hoping Cronus couldn’t see the relief on his face, that he hadn’t seen the fear beforehand. There was no reason to be afraid of Cronus, to expect the same reaction as their father just because the two looked alike. It wasn’t his fault, after all. ‘ _You think it’ll be okay?_ ’ he asked, looking down at the outfit one last time.

“It’ll be fine,” Cronus assured him, his voice making it obvious he’d noticed Eridan’s nerves. Perhaps Kankri had told him? “And if the anyone says anything, tell ‘em to piss off.” The protectiveness made Eridan roll his eyes, though he was grateful. It did make him feel a bit better, which he supposed was the point of it. “Just relax and have fun, Eri.”

Eridan caught the encouraging smile Kankri was giving him as the doorbell rang, though the tension was back full force as soon as it did. He took a deep breath and gave them a quick wave as he opened the door. Sollux stood in the doorway, in a graphic t-shirt and baggy jeans and somehow managing to make Eridan pause, his breath in his throat. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if this was a date after all. Sollux froze, his mouth halfway open as though he was about to make a remark that died as he glanced over Eridan’s outfit. It only took him a moment to look away, sticking a hand in Eridan’s direction.

“If you’re ready, let’s just go,” he said quickly, refusing to look at Eridan as the other took his hand and began walking to the car. Eridan frantically wondered if it really had been a bad idea to wear this, until he noticed the red painting the face that was so pointedly turned away from him.

The car was waiting by the sidewalk, Mituna sitting in the front seat and complaining to the driver, Simon, about the fact that he wasn’t getting to go to the movies too. Simon assured him that he’d take Mituna to a movie later that week, or let him go with one of his friends, which seemed to appease him. Karkat and Dave sat in the third row of seats, leaving the middle row for Sollux and Eridan to climb into.

“Damn, Ampora, show us all up why don’t you?” Dave drawled from beside Karkat. “I’d have dressed up a little nicer if I’d expected this to be some sort of fancy thing.” Karkat shoved his shoulder, growling at him, and turning to Eridan.

“Ignore him. Nice dress.”

Eridan perked up a little at the compliment, texting Karkat and quick thanks.

“Hey, I wasn’t sayin there was anything wrong with dressin up. I was complimentin him too,” Dave insisted, leaning against Karkat, and making him flail and screech. Eridan let himself finally relax, listening to Karkat complain and Dave ramble and Sollux ask how much longer he had to be in the car with ‘the assholes in the back.’ It was strangely calming, the noise settling comfortably around him.

Simon pulled in front of the theater, telling them to have a good time and reminding Sollux more than a few times to call him when the movie was over. Eridan followed the group to the ticket booth, pulling his wallet out and fumbling for the cash. The woman behind the counter gave them a welcoming smile, though it faltered when her eyes landed on Eridan. He tried to ignore the look, pulling the cash free and freezing in a panic as he looked at the titles. What movie were they seeing again? How was he even going to tell her which ticket he needed without his sketchbook?

A warm hand wrapped around his own, stopping the shaking Eridan almost hadn’t realized was happening. He glanced up, watching as Sollux stepped to the counter and bought two tickets without letting go of his hand. He wanted to protest, to insist he could buy his own ticket, but instead he just let Sollux hand him the ticket and lead him inside. They waited by the door for Karkat and Dave to join them, the bright lights of the snack bar catching Eridan’s eye. The smell of food was enough to drag him towards it, the colors and bright flashing words almost overwhelming him as he wondered what to buy.

Once again, he had Sollux buy something and handing it to him, though this time he did try to protest, pushing them back towards Sollux. The other rolled his eyes, insisting that he’d already bought them, so there was no sense in Eridan giving them back. Besides, he was the one who invited Eridan, why shouldn’t he pay?

Eridan finally accepted the food with a little guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach. Next time he would pay for everything for sure, though he realized that meant there would be a next time. Really, he didn’t mind the thought of it so far.

Sollux dropped his hand when Eridan took the snacks, leading him to the correct theater while Eridan tried to ignore the disappointed feeling in his chest by eating a bit of the popcorn from the tub Sollux had insisted was part of the moviegoing experience. The room was bigger than he’d expected, the seats cramped and mostly full, though they managed to find a few near the back. The lights all but disappeared as the previews flickered to life on the large screen. The heavy darkness made him antsy, as did the sound booming from the speakers than surrounded them, but none of it was unbearable. Once the title screen popped up, Eridan did his best to settle in and pay attention to the film.

That was harder than he thought as a warm hand covered his own on the arm rest. He froze and glanced at Sollux, who lifted his hand and gave him and apologetic shrug. After a moment he grabbed Sollux’s hand, letting their fingers intertwine as his face grew hot and he looked back at the screen. Throughout the fight scenes and fast paced plot, they ended up leaning on each other, his head tucked against Sollux’s shoulder. It helped him ignore the booming of gunshots, at least to the point where he didn’t flinch whenever they happened. The movie wasn’t something he’d normally watch, too loud even on a television, much less on a huge screen where he couldn’t do anything but look at what was happening.

Of course, even this didn’t help much when the white of a hospital room flashed on screen, Eridan’s heart leaping to his throat. He wanted to look away, to close his eyes and bury his face in Sollux’s arm until the sick feeling swirling in his stomach stopped, but he couldn’t. He was frozen as a shot ripped through the air, tearing through his ears as the sick splatter of blood stained the sterile room. He shot to his feet, earning several odd looks from his friends and the strangers around them but he couldn’t bring himself to care about them right now.

The room was closing in on him, the white and red still glaring and mixing in the edge of his vision as he tripped down the stairs and out the door. He could feel the bewildered looks of the people idling in the lobby, as well as those of the employees behind their various counters. They probably thought he was crazy, and why wouldn’t they? He was the one running out of the movie theater like someone was chasing him.

The air outside was cool, freezing tracks on his face he realized were tears. He collapsed on a bench, dropping his face into his hands. His lungs felt like they were shrinking, unable to hold air. He should be able to take deeper breaths than this, right? Why did this have to happen now? He’d been having a good time, for the most part, hadn’t he? And now he couldn’t breathe because of what? Some color in a movie?

He was pathetic, wasn’t he? His hands shook, his leg bouncing as he tried to force himself to take a deep breath. The feeling of a hand landing on his shoulder made him jump, almost falling off the bench in the process. His head snapped up, staring into the mismatched eyes that watched him with concern. Of course, Sollux had followed him out here, had he really expected his friends to stay behind?

The Captor’s face turned to a knowing expression as he sat beside him, a hand flat on his back. “Panic attack, right? Jutht breathe.” He took a deep breath himself, which Eridan tried and failed to imitate. It took almost two minutes to get his breathing closer to normal than hyperventilation, but at least it was a step in the right direction. The shaking of his hands slowed and stopped, though he kept his head down as he wiped his eyes. Even if he could speak, he doubted he could get anything past the lump in his throat, or the churning in his stomach.

“Wait here,” Sollux said, standing. Eridan listened to him walk away, wondering if he should call Cronus and head home. Maybe the rest of the group could watch the movie in peace, then. He pulled his phone out and blankly stared at the dark screen. Wasn’t Cronus on a date with Kankri? He didn’t doubt that his brother would come get him if he asked, but did he really want to ruin two…he still didn’t know if this was supposed to be a date. If it was, he was pretty sure Sollux would have changed his mind by now. He jumped for the second time as the other dropped onto the bench beside him, handing him a wad of napkins and a bottle of water.

Eridan must have looked as confused as he felt, because Sollux awkwardly laughed before talking. “It’s good to drink water after attacks, right? That’th how it ith with Mituna, anyway. I thought it might help.” He looked nervous, or maybe it was cautious, not wanting to cause another attack. Eridan took a deep breath, dabbing his eyes with the napkin and frowning at the makeup smudged on it. He probably looked like an absolute mess with frizzy curls and running mascara, though he didn’t think he’d put enough on to run.

The water bottle was cold in his hand, reminding him it was still there. He took a quick drink and Sollux was right, it did help a little bit. He was mostly calm now, the attack over but the aftershocks still making his stomach hurt. The thought of going back into that theater was enough to make him feel sick again, his hand squeezing the water bottle tightly as he realized he was probably going to have to. He didn’t want to make Sollux miss the movie he’d been so excited about, after all. A glance toward the door made him feel worse as he noticed Karkat and Dave standing just inside the theater, even the latter’s normally stoic face etched with concern. This was supposed to be a fun night, but it seemed he’d ruined it for everyone.

Sollux stood again, pausing for a long moment before walking to the door and telling the other two something before coming back and grabbing Eridan’s hand. Eridan stood, a little confused as Sollux led him down the street. He shot Sollux a look, only getting a “jutht trutht me” in response.

It only took a few minutes to arrive at a small shop that smelled like sugar as soon as Eridan stepped inside. His eyes widened as he stepped up to a glass counter that took up most of the space, a long row of ice cream flavors before him. There were the usual chocolates and vanillas alongside honey jalapeño and green tea and a dozen others. Eridan wanted to try all of them immediately, getting a handful of samples before deciding on salted caramel, which was handed to him as a giant scoop balanced precariously on a waffle cone. Sollux got a scoop of cookies and cream, sitting at one of the cute tables scattered around the shop. Eridan grabbed a spoon and joined him, happily digging into his ice cream.

“Why are you eating ice cream from a cone with a spoon?” Sollux asked, raising an eyebrow, and snickering a little.

Eridan glared at him halfheartedly, tapping him with the spoon and realizing that the spoon had started to change from purple to blue. His eyes widened and he waved it at Sollux to get his attention, watching the color slowly change back to purple.

Sollux seemed more than a little amused, getting up and grabbing a red spoon from the jar. “Yeah, it changeth color with the temperature,” he said, sticking the spoon in his own ice cream and showing it off as it changed to blue. “They’re pretty cool. Mituna uthed to collect them when we were younger. I’m thure he thtill hath them thomewhere.”

He looked at the spoon again, grinning as he resolved to keep the spoon and kept eating his ice cream. It wasn’t long before it was finished and he was staring at an empty napkin and spoon a little sadly. But the ice cream had definitely helped him feel better, and he was happy Sollux had brought him here. He pulled a napkin from the dispenser and dug for a pen in the small clutch Feferi had given him ages ago. Finally finding one, he smoothed the napkin out and cursed himself for not bringing any sort of notebook with him.

_Thanks._

Sollux paused, almost done with his ice cream as he looked at the note. “It’th nothing, ED. I didn’t think you’d want to go back into the theater.”

_Well, you were right about that. …I’m sorry you missed the movie. I know you were looking forward to it._

He shrugged a shoulder, tossing his own napkin into the trash. “Maybe I’ll thee it with, Tuna. He’d probably like it.” There was a pause as he pursed his lips. “Do…uh…do you know what the problem wath? Tho I can like…avoid it?”

Eridan grimaced, looking away. He felt stupid just thinking about it. Writing it would only make it worse.

“Thorry- You don’t have to tell me,” he said quickly, waving a hand. Eridan took a deep breath.

_No, it’s fine. It’s just…you can’t laugh._

Sollux’s brow furrowed. “Why would I laugh?”

_Because it’s…_ he sighed. _It was the color._

“The…color?”

_I don’t really like…stuff like hospital rooms. It’s too white and sterile. Plus, the theater was kind of dark and loud and when-_ He sighed and frowned, looking down.

“The blood?” Sollux asked. Eridan nodded a little, putting his head in his hands. “And why did you think I wath going to laugh?”

_Because it’s dumb, isn’t it? Bein bothered by a color of all thins?_

“Not really? You can’t help what bugth you. Let’th jutht thkip the movie next time? Get ice cream again?”

Eridan smiled a little and nodded, standing, and throwing his napkins away. He pulled out his phone, walking alongside Sollux back towards the theater. _Next time?_

“Er…I mean if there’th a next time. Maybe uth hanging out again? Playing video gameth at my houthe?”

_That sounds nice. Hey, Sol?_

“Yeah?”

_I know this ain’t really a hangout thin, but I’ve got my first swim meet next Thursday. Maybe if you’re not busy…_

Sollux shrugged. “I’ll thee if I can make it. Let me know if you get any more info.”

Eridan felt his grin widen as they reached the doors of the theater, where Karkat and Dave were bickering about something. He gave them a little wave, hardly able to believe that he’d been in the middle of a panic attack barely an hour ago. It was nice to be able to feel…okay so soon after one. Perhaps that was because he usually shut himself in his room and tried to force himself to calm down when they happened, though that never seemed to work.

He knew things weren’t completely back to normal, still able to feel the faintest shaking in his hands and exhaustion in his mind, but it was…better. This he could handle, could control. He took a deep breath and thanked Simon for the ride when they reached his house, collapsing into bed as soon as he got inside.

Things weren’t magically better because Sollux had bought him ice cream. He still wanted to sleep until he didn’t feel anything, but he thought that maybe he’d be okay to get up in the morning.

It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t fixed, but it was better and more manageable than it had been.

And he was okay with that.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! First of all I got some AMAZING FANART from seaiiris, the link to which is in the comment section of the previous chapter. If you haven't seen it yet, I'd highly recommend checking it out it's really great!  
> Also, I've put this work into a series and am planning on doing some side stories for the universe, so be sure to be on the lookout for those in the future!

The bright, cheery, and far too loud music of his ringtone ripped Eridan from a surprisingly peaceful sleep, making him glare at the night stand and the glowing screen on top of it. He didn’t bother putting his glasses on, propping himself on his elbows and grabbing the device. With a swipe of his thumb the flashing ‘Incoming Call’ screen changed into his best friend’s face, her grin wide and entirely too energetic for…what time even was it? The top of the screen read 10:22 which seemed both too late and too early for him to be waking up.

He rubbed one eye, squinting at the screen although it was close enough to be mostly clear. He could see his own face in a tiny box on the lower left-hand side of the screen, grimacing at the bags beneath his eyes. Maybe he should sleep in more often. His hair was tousled, but he didn’t care. Feferi had seen him at his worst, messy hair didn’t matter.

“GOOD MORNING, ERI _FIN_!” She greeted enthusiastically, waving at him through the screen. He winced a little at the volume, but managed a smile and a tired wave back.

‘ _Mornin’ Fef._ ’ He signed, watching her smile dim a little as she studied his face.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice a little hesitant. Eridan took another look at his face, noticing the slight redness of his eyes. Of course she would notice. Before he could explain, her face scrunched up. “Did something happen on the date? Was it Sollux?” He could definitely see the family resemblance when she got mad, a fire in her eyes that warned against crossing the sweet girl. “I swear- did he pull something or was he being an asshole? If he hurt you I-“

Eridan waved his hand at the screen, trying to get her attention while at the same time trying not to snicker. It was nice to know how ready she was to fight, though that was something they had in common, but right now he just wanted to talk to his best friend. ‘ _No, no- well…yes and no? Yes, somethin happened, no it wasn’t Sol’s fault._ ’

She paused and watched his face, not looking entirely convinced. “…are you _shore_?” Well, at least the fish puns were back. As goofy as they could be, at least they meant she was calm. “You look like you were crying.”

‘ _I…well I found out I don’t really like movie theaters._ ’

Feferi looked confused, frowning at him. “But _we’ve_ gone to the movies, haven’t we?”

‘ _Yeah but we saw like…fantasy movies. And none a them were as crowded as this. I dunno why._ ’

She paused and looked a little sheepish. “Oh…yeah. I didn’t think you’d like crowds very much so I uh…” She glanced away. “My mom offered to buy out the showing we wanted to see. Or most of it, anyway.”

‘ _Fef…’_

“I knew it bugged you, but you weren’t going to tell me until something happened and you had to!”

‘ _Because I should be able to handle normal stuff like that! And aren’t you always the one callin’ me a drama queen?_ ’

“That’s because you are, but the stuff you complain about wasn’t ever really what I was worried about. You know you can tell me about this kinda stuff, right?”

Eridan felt a little pit of guilt in his stomach, of course she’d noticed. He’d go on whining about the pettiest things, as if it would distract her from the real problems. But she always managed to figure it out. She’d figured out why Eridan never invited her over when his dad was home, why he avoided certain places and why he went out as little as possible. He sighed and nodded. ‘ _I know, Fef. I just…don’t want you to worry._ ’

“Of c _oar_ se I’m going to worry, _shelly_. I’m your best _frond_. It’s my job to worry a _boat_ you. Now, tell me a _boat_ this date! It _was_ a date, right?”

Eridan felt his cheeks heat and nodded a little, chewing his lip. ‘ _I’m…pretty sure. Though I’m not sure if that means we’re dating now or if he’d even_ want _to date me after…_ ’

“After what?” Her brow was furrowed again, worry in her eyes.

‘ _We saw some kind of action movie and I…kinda freaked out. It was crowded and there was a hospital and it was really loud and just-_ ‘

“…too much?” Feferi offered after a moment.

Eridan nodded, finally retrieving his glasses and putting them on. ‘ _I musta looked like an idiot running out of there. Sol followed me out…waited for me to calm down. He…took me to an ice cream shop down the street and I told him what happened. He seemed to understand but…_ ’

Her face softened. “At least he helped, right?” she said, tilting her head. “And it’s good that he gets it.”

‘ _Well_ yeah _but what if I messed things up?_ ’

“How would you have messed things up?”

‘ _I had a panic attack on our first date, Fef. I can understand him still wanting to hang out and be friends, ain’t like he hasn’t seen that shit before, but what if I completely put him off from wanting to go on any more dates with me?_ ’

He saw something similar to amusement twitch across her face, a hurt look crossing his own. ‘ _What?_ ’

“No _fin_! I just…a few days ago you were freaking out a _boat_ whether or _knot_ it was a date at all. I don’t think _Shoal_ lux is going to lose interest because of this, _reel_ ly. _Shell_! It might actually be good that this wasn’t a confirmed first date.”

‘ _...I don’t follow._ ’

“ _Whale_ , if you’re worried a _boat_ having a bad first date, then ask him out. Take him to dinner, or something else you know is fine and call _that_ your first date instead of the movies.”

Eridan paused, mulling over the idea. It certainly wasn’t bad…but so many ‘what if’’s popped into his head that he almost couldn’t keep up. ‘ _What if…I misread it and it actually wasn’t meant as a date?_ ’ And now he was back to second guessing Sollux’s intent.

Feferi all but groaned with frustration. “Did it feel like a date?”

Eridan nodded a little, thinking of intertwined fingers and heads on shoulders.

“And do you like him? Would you want to date him?”

He stared at the ceiling for a moment as he thought. There were a lot of reasons he liked being around Sollux. He liked his laugh and the snarky comments he made, though most of them still made him roll his eyes. He liked the way he smiled, lopsided with crooked teeth that didn’t quite fit together but still managed to make him want to smile along. He liked the way Sollux talked to him, even when they bickered, and the way his hand had felt when he held it. He wanted to talk to him, to learn about him, to watch him complain about the shitty movies they watched and ramble about computers, even though he didn’t understand half of what he was saying. Eridan felt a blush burning in his cheeks and nodded, glancing back at Feferi.

She looked at the color rushing to his face and smiled a little. “…you really like him, don’t you?”

He nodded again, lifting his glasses to scrub briefly at his eyes. ‘ _Yeah. I really like him, Fef. And I’m really, really scared that I’m going to mess this up. What if he gets bored, or tired of dealing with me? What if this is some kind of misunderstanding or it’s all out of pity?!_ ’ His signing was getting more frantic, his stomach churning with butterflies and wasps.

“Eridan,” Feferi said firmly, catching his attention. “You’re not going to mess this up. I say go for it. If you keep thinking about what could happen, then nothing ever will.”

Eridan sighed and slumped against a pillow, burying his face in it for a second. ‘ _You’re right_ ,’ he admitted, earning a chuckle from her.

“Yeah. I’m right. You know what else I am?”

He raised an eyebrow and she waved her fingers at the screen. “Hungry! Have you eaten yet?”

With a roll of his eyes, he shook his head. ‘ _I only just woke up when you called._ ’

She huffed, standing, and starting to walk downstairs. “Well I’m going to eat breakfast. And you should too.”

Eridan dragged himself out of bed, grabbing his phone and shuffling towards the door. ‘ _Yeah, yeah. I’ll eat, don’t worry._ ’

“I only worry because you don’t eat enough,” she declared, glancing away from the screen and grinning before turning it so he could see her mother. She was at the dining room table with an open laptop, several stacks of papers, and a bowl of fruit. “Say hi to Eri _fin_ , Mom!”

Cassandra looked up and waved at the camera. “Good morning, Guppy,” she said before turning back to her work.

Feferi continued into the kitchen as Eridan got to his own. He set the phone against a jar on the counter as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. She plopped two bagels onto a plate and shuffled back to her room as Eridan sat on the couch. Cronus was at the other end, flipping through channels and glancing at his brother before noticing Feferi on the chat.

“Mornin’, Feferi,” he greeted, finally giving up on the cable and getting up to put a movie in.

“GOOD MORNING, CRO _FISH_ ,” Feferi all but shouted, making Eridan wince and roll his eyes.

‘ _He can hear ya just fine, Fef_ ,’ he signed, picking up his bowl from where he’d balanced it on his lap. She giggled, shrugging.

“I _minnow_! But it’s more _fin_ that way!”

Eridan simply made a point of rolling his eyes again and finishing his breakfast before heading back to his room. ‘ _So, what’s the plan for the day?_ ’

Feferi shrugged. “I don’t have anything to do today. Mom is working from home this week and I’ve got most of my schoolwork finished up.”

‘ _Same. I’m all caught up on my homework and the only thing coming up is my swim meet._ ’

Her eyes widened. “Oh my- I almost forgot about that! _Shrimp_! It’s on Thursday, right? There’s no way I’m going to miss it!”

Eridan nodded, grinning a little. ‘ _It’s at seven. It’s just a small one, so it should only take a couple hours at most._ ’

She blew a lock of hair out of her face, thinking for a moment. “ _Whale_ maybe I can get my mom to let me borrow a car. It’s not like she doesn’t have another one. Or maybe I can drag her away from work to help me cheer you on!”

They spent most of the day chatting, though a little before dinner Feferi got called to go with Meenah and her mother to get something to eat. Eridan waved goodbye and helped Cronus cook dinner before putting in a movie of his own. About halfway through eating, Cronus cleared his throat.

“So…how’d everything go with Captor? You looked down when you got home but you went to sleep before I could ask.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, but he supposed he should have seen this coming. Even if he’d come home chipper as could be he’d still get asked how it had gone, though perhaps then his brother wouldn’t have a barely veiled look of concern on his face. He gave him a quick explanation, sighing and running a hand through his hair. ‘ _Really, Cro. I’m fine. Sol was nice and now I know that going to the theater isn’t a good idea for a date._ ’

The other didn’t really seem convinced, but Eridan waved off any other concern. He could handle this himself and he didn’t really want people worrying over him.

He decided to turn in early, spending the next day lazily watching some series Feferi had recommended. It was pretty good so far, if a bit cheesy.

Getting up for school the next day was easier than he’d expected, though that might be because he spent much of the weekend catching up on sleep. He actually woke up early, glad for the extra time as he picked through his closet. Today felt like a good day, and when his hand pulled a pair of pastel jeans from the closet he didn’t let himself second guess wearing them. They were a pale blue, pairing nicely with a violet blouse and matching sneakers. He didn’t gel his hair as much as usual, clipping his bangs back to keep them out of his eyes. There was a spark of confidence that made him grin as he slung his messenger bag over his shoulder.

He searched in the cabinet for a thermos, filling it with coffee to take with him and grabbing a Pop Tart to eat on the way.

With a wave to his brother, he darted out the door, meeting Dave at the base of Karkat’s driveway and knocking on the Vantas’s door. Karkat raised an eyebrow, looking at Eridan with a scowl that Eridan was sure he didn’t mean.

“Well _someone_ looks fucking better,” he grumbled, but Eridan could hear a tinge of relief, giving him a small smile. He pulled out a pen, his sketchbook already open in his hands.

_Yeah, yeah. Sorry about Friday, Kar._

“Don’t fucking apologize, dickhat. That’s the last fucking thing anyone needs,” Karkat huffed, storming out the door. Eridan sighed, but followed him with his head held high.

The looming school didn’t even dampen his mood, the library a welcome sight as he sat at the table. He caught a look from Kanaya and stiffened for a moment, though he relaxed at the smile she gave him. “You look nice today,” she said simply, and hearing that from Kanaya was pretty much the best compliment he could ask for. He signed a quick thanks as Sollux plopped into the seat next to him.

He felt a few butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he glanced at the Captor, remembering his talk with Feferi. Could he really ask him out?

Sollux looked tired, or at the very least bored as he rested his chin in his hand. “Morning, ED,” he yawned (definitely tired), holding out a hand towards him. “Ithn’t thith uthually about the time you hand me thome math shit to look over?”

Eridan raised an eyebrow. _I think I’ve been doin just fine. I’ll let you know if I fall behind though._

Sollux’s face fell into confusion, or…maybe just fell. “Er…are we thtill doing the Hithtory thing? After all thith thwim thtuff ith done anyway.”

_Do you still need help?_

He grimaced and shrugged.

Eridan tilted his head. _You know we can hang out without school shit right?_

A flush colored his pale cheeks. “I- no shit, I know that. I’m not an idiot.”

He couldn’t help a snicker, though it only earned him a glare. The ringing of the bell made him sigh, standing with his sketchbook. Sollux stood beside him, rolling his eyes and grabbing Eridan’s bag before he could get it. Eridan glared at him, storming after him down the hall. _What the hell, Sol? Give me my bag!_

“And what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t help carry your thtuff? Ithn’t that chivalry or thomething?”

Eridan huffed. _Some kind of gentleman you are. You wouldn’t know chivalry if it bit you on the ass._

“And you would?”

_I’d certainly manage better than you if it came down to it._

Sollux snorted, handing Eridan his bag and opening a door as the other realized they were at his classroom. “Really? Becauthe I’m pretty thure I jutht walked you to clath.”

_That doesn’t count! You were holdin my bag hostage!_ Eridan crossed his arms, though he refused to admit to himself that he was pouting, or that there was a blush in his cheeks.

“Both of you are fucking ridiculous and I’d really like to have access to my first period so could you assholes please get out of the damn doorway?”

Eridan glanced back at Karkat, flushing even brighter before shooing Sollux away and sitting down. Karkat sat beside him, grumbling under his breath. “Are you two going to be this insufferable from now on?” he growled.

Eridan never got the chance to answer, perking up as class started. By the time it was over, Karkat was ranting about something else, which he kept up until they parted ways. Eridan spent most of the period putting the final layers on the frame and waiting for it to dry. He should be able to start painting it tomorrow.

Swim class passed with a few cutting comments from Serket that he wished he could ignore, but he just glared at her since any other reaction would be exactly what she wanted. At least it was over before long, and his next class was boring as hell. He still didn’t really understand the point of speech class.

At lunch, he went through the shortest line getting a bowl of oily chicken noodle soup and a limp salad, but at least it was something. Sollux and Karkat were in the middle of some discussion, though he didn’t bother listening in as he instead ate his lunch and scribbled something onto his sketchbook a few times until he got it right. Once Sollux seemed more interested in his sandwich than with bickering, Eridan flicked the paper at him and waited.

_I was wonderin if you’d be interested in goin to dinner with me sometime._ Short, sweet and to the point. Still, Eridan was chewing his lip as Sollux read it. He folded the note once he finished, glancing at the Ampora.

He looked at the other people at the table, but they didn’t seem to be paying attention. Still, he got up, walking into the hallway and getting Eridan to follow him. He grabbed his bag and did so.

Sollux was leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets. “Tho…like a date?”

Eridan immediately felt sick, sure that he’d been wrong about all of this. _It doesn’t have to be! I mean I kinda thought the movies were, but we know how that went and I wanted to try again, but try to make it better?_ He hated the sentence as soon as he wrote it, chewing the end of his pen nervously.

Sollux flushed, scratching the back of his head. “Well…yeah I kinda meant it ath a date when I athked but I kinda realized I never confirmed it tho…but…thith dinner would be a date?”

Eridan took a deep breath and nodded.

There was a moment before Sollux gave him a crooked grin. “Alright. Then it’th a date. Jutht let me know when.”

Eridan felt his heart soar, a grin lighting his face. He probably looked like an idiot but at the moment he couldn’t care less. Of course, it fell after a moment as he realized he had one more question.

Sollux paused at the look, frowning. “What’th wrong?”

_Does this mean we’re dating?_

The other stared at the question. “Do you want to be dating? I mean, we’re going on a date but we don’t have to be ‘dating’ officially if-“ Eridan cut him off by practically shoving his sketchbook in his face.

_I want to. I just…didn’t want it to be another thing that wasn’t confirmed. I’d rather know than try to guess._

Sollux shrugged, “Fair enough.” The bell ringing made them both jump, though Eridan mostly just glared at the ceiling. He felt a hand tugging at his own and looked down, confused and glancing at Sollux.

The other glanced at their hands. “Thith okay?” he asked, his grip loosening. Eridan nodded, but pulled his hand away to scrawl in his sketchbook.

_Which way is your class?_

Sollux raised an eyebrow.

_You walked me to class this morning and like hell am I gonna let you be the chivalrous one in this relationship._ He was mostly teasing, but he did want to do something nice for Sollux, not that he’d say it outright.

Sollux rolled his eyes, but grabbed Eridan’s hand again and started down the hall. “You’re ridiculouth.”

Eridan elbowed him lightly, but his glare was ruined by the grin fighting its way onto his face. Maybe he was ridiculous, but so was Sollux, and maybe, just for a while, they could be ridiculous together.


	27. Chapter 27

Eridan left swim practice more than a little exhausted, his bag hanging off his shoulder and almost dragging him towards the ground with it. His bangs flopped onto his face, the damp locks sticking to his glasses and wafting the distinct and almost overpowering smell of chlorine into his face. He grimaced, pushing it back and rolling his eyes when they refused to cooperate. Of course. If he wasn’t careful, the pool water was going to ruin his hair. Even so, tiring as it was, swimming was definitely the high point of most days.

Stepping out the front door, however, he was reminded that today had another high point. Leaning against a bike rack and staring at his phone was the lanky figure of Sollux Captor, scrolling with a bored look on his face. Eridan could see his mismatched eyes past the glasses that had slipped to the end of his thin nose, the blue and brown flicking toward the doors and landing on Eridan.

The grin that lit the others face made Eridan’s heart skip a beat, the fact that someone was _happy_ to see him almost confusing, but he let himself smile back. He could barely see the others eyes behind the colored lenses, but the smile and the hand that held his own hinted at the warmth he would find there. Of course, the bright mood was almost entirely broken the moment Sollux opened his mouth.

“ _Finally_! Geeth, if I’d known it would take thith long I would’ve gone home,” He smirked, taking Eridan’s bag and slinging it over his shoulder, where it knocked against his own.

Eridan scowled, pulling at the strap of his bag for a moment before stopping. Sollux stopped and raised an eyebrow as Eridan dug in his bag for his sketchbook and a pen. As he flipped through the pages for a blank one, the taller teen rested his sharp chin against his shoulder. A flash of self-consciousness made Eridan shove his face away.

 _Don’t look at my sketchbook._ He scrawled quickly, flashing the page at him. _And I never asked you to wait for me._

“Then how am I thuppothed to read what you write, dumbath,” he snickered, starting to walk again. “Do you even draw in that, or is it jutht for writing noteth?”

_Of course I draw in it. Otherwise I would just have a notebook. I write from the back cover and draw from the front. When I run out of room, I get a new sketchbook and pull out the good drawings._

Sollux raised an eyebrow and glanced at the book again. “Well, how come I’ve never seen any of your drawingth?”

_Because I haven’t shown you any. And no, I ain’t goin to._

“Why not?” The other was frowning, his brow furrowed.

 _It’s just…doodles._ That was a lie, but Eridan wasn’t really fond of showing anyone his sketchbooks. Feferi saw them, mostly because she let him draw her when he needed practice, but he didn’t want to show them to anyone else. He loved his art and he’d already been told enough times that they weren’t going to get him anywhere. _I might show you some assignments from class._

Sollux didn’t look like he bought it, but shrugged. “Whatever. What do you normally ‘doodle’?”

Eridan shrugged. _Mostly people, I guess. Expressions and stuff. I-_ He growled as the pens marks became fainter until they disappeared entirely. He shook it a few times, huffing as it stubbornly stayed inkless. Did he have another one? There was a bag of pencils in the front pocket of his bag, but the thought of writing with one made him grimace. Pens were for writing, pencils were for drawing. Either way, he grabbed his bag and pulled Sollux to a stop to dig in his bag. Before he could look much, the other stepped away and began to open his own bag.

With an irritated glare, Eridan reached for his bag again only to once again be dodged.

“Geeth, ED. Hold your titth,” Sollux huffed, pulling out a pen and shoving it into Eridan’s hand.

Eridan looked at the writing utensil, blinking as he realized why it looked so familiar. It was his violet pen, the one he’d thrown at Sollux on his first day.

_You still had this?_

The Captor shrugged, linking his arm with Eridan’s so the other could still write as they walked. “Yeah. It’th been in my bag.”

_You told me you tossed it._

“Yeah? I wanted to pith you off. Pluth, you threw it at me, tho it wath mine.”

_I don’t think that’s how it works._

“I think it ith,” Sollux grinned at him, making the Ampora roll his eyes. After a moment, he poked Sollux’s side with the pen. The other jumped, squeaking and glaring at him. “What?” he hissed, staying a few steps away from Eridan.

_Why did you wait anyway? Practice is over an hour._

Sollux continued scowling at him, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t have anything elthe to do.”

_Could’ve gone home._

There was a long silence before Sollux looked away, his cheeks pink. “I thought it’d be…nithe to walk you home. I mean, theeing ath I am going to win the whole chivalry thing and all.” The last part was said with a smirk, but the obvious blush took away from the smugness of the words.

Eridan felt his own face heating up and after a moment he pulled Sollux to a third stop. “What ith it now?” The blonde grumbled.

Dropping his sketchbook into his bag and tucking the pen behind his ear, Eridan grabbed Sollux’s hand. They walked the rest of the way to Eridan’s house in content silence, aside occasional comments from the Captor. At the door, Eridan was a little disappointed as he was handed his bag.

“Bye, ED,” Sollux said, a tad awkwardly. Before he could step away, Eridan wrapped him in a tight hug and signed a goodbye. The Captor waved as he walked down the driveway, and Eridan stayed on the porch, waving until he couldn’t see Sollux. He felt a little silly, but he was too happy to care.

When he stepped inside, he had a grin that wouldn’t leave his face. Cronus was sprawled out on the couch with his guitar, the coffee table in front of his covered in stacks of sheet music and journals filled with lyrics.

“Yo, Eri. How was school?” the other asked, glancing at him and chuckling. “I’m willing to bet you had a good day.”

Eridan tried to force the smile off his face, scrunching up his nose and scowling at his brother. He only held the glare for a moment before letting himself smile again and dropping his bag by the couch before plopping into the spot not currently taken up by his brother’s feet. ‘ _Yeah, so? I’m allowed to be happy._ ’

Cronus rolled his eyes and set his guitar. “Would I be right in guessin that Captor has somethin to do with it?”

Eridan huffed and glanced at the television. ‘ _Yeah._ ’ He fidgeted for a moment, sighing. ‘ _He walked me home._ _And before you ask, yes we’re datin now._ ’ It occurred to Eridan at that moment that Cronus didn’t like the Captor’s much, and he bit his lip. Of course, any worry faded when his brother ruffled his hair, making it even messier. He huffed and slapped the hand away with a pout.

“Good for you, Eri. Long as he makes ya happy. I’m surprised ya didn’t run right your room to tell Fef.”

Eridan perked up, jumping to his feet and grinning. That’s right, he still needed to tell Feferi. She was going to be more _–ECSTATIC_ than even him, he was sure. ‘ _I do need to do that. She’ll be pissed if I don’t._ ’

The elder Ampora picked his guitar back up. “Well, I’m gonna finish up practice. We’re meeting with that scout again tomorrow, so I might be home late, but it sounds like it’ll be good news. After this, how about we grab a pizza?”

Eridan nodded. ‘ _You know what I get on mine. I’m gonna call Fef and fill her in. Oh, Cro would you be okay givin me and Sol a ride to dinner if you’re free? Mr. Captor drove us to the movies, and I don’t want to keep askin him._ ’

Cronus rolled his eyes. “You should try gettin a license, but yeah if I’m free it ain’t a problem.”

With a sigh, Eridan nodded and walked to his room. He’d never tried driving before, it had always seemed intimidating. Perhaps he should consider learning though, if only to make things easier. Feferi could probably help him, maybe he’d ask her later.

He called her, grinning as she answered. She looked over his face, taking in his good mood with a raised eyebrow. “ _Whale_ , someone’s in a good mood,” she chirped. “Did you talk to _Shoal_ lux?”

Eridan nodded, pulling a pillow to his chest before he signed. ‘ _Well, this morning he kinda walked me to class, but he was an asshole about it so that kinda negated the niceness of it. At lunch I asked him to dinner though, and he asked it if was a date!_ ’

“I can’t _reel_ ly blame him, though,” she said, braiding her hair as she listened. “I mean, at least this time he actually asked, unlike someone I know.” Eridan met her pointed look with a ridiculous one that made her giggle.

‘ _Anyway. I told him it was, and he said yes. I asked if that meant we were datin and-_ ‘ He paused, blushing, and smiling a bit. ‘ _Well, long story short, we’re datin now and he walked me home._ ’

She squealed excitedly, clapping and grinning widely. “I’m so happy for you! Do you know when you’re going on this second first date?”

Eridan shook his head, shrugging. ‘ _We didn’t really decide that yet. Soon, though, that I’m sure of. I’m guessing sometime after the meet? With practice, there just isn’t time._ ’

She sighed dramatically, but her grin never faltered. “I’m _shore_ it’s going to be great! But that story was too short! _Tail_ me what happened today! All of it!”

There was a short huff, but Eridan was quick to launch into a more detailed story, only getting up when Cronus told him that the pizza was here. Feferi waved to him as he left to eat, demanding that he let her know if anything else happened. After pizza, he quickly did his homework and planned possible dinners before he fell asleep.

The next morning, his spirits were still high, though he felt a bit more tired than he had the day before. He didn’t let that bring him down at all, getting dressed and scarfing down his breakfast. When he opened the door, he came face to face with Sollux, who had one fist raised in preparation to knock. Both teens jumped, sharing a chuckle as their hearts returned a more reasonable pace.

Eridan shut the door behind himself, grabbing Sollux’s hand and walking across the street toward Karkat’s house. The Captor leaned against him as they reached the door, seeming to take delight in the annoyance Eridan showed as he was used as an elbow rest.

When Karkat opened the door, his scowl seemed a little deeper than usual, his irritation a little more…cutting. “This is exactly what I want to see in the morning,” he growled. “Two assholes unable to keep their hands off each other, fucking fantastic. Do me a favor and keep acting just as obnoxious forever, thanks.”

Sollux rolled his eyes, stepping off the porch and starting back down the driveway. “Did thomeone mith their coffee thith morning,” he said mockingly, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Or are you jutht feeling ethpethially bitchy today?”

“Shut the fuck up, Sollux,” Karkat growled, stalking after them with his hands jammed into his hoodie. “Maybe I just don’t feel like holding back vomit this early from watching you two acting like two emotionally stunted assholes who _finally_ realized they like each other and now feel the need to tell the entire world through sickeningly sweet glances and hand holding.”

“Okay, KK, what the fuck? Weren’t you the one telling me to get my shit together and athk him out?” Sollux snapped, glaring at the Vantas. “Are you that incapable of letting me be fucking happy? Oh look, Tholluxth having a good day? Better take a shit on hith feelingth. You were being an athhole to me and ED yethterday too.”

Eridan was standing a few feet back as they glared at each other. Karkat opened his mouth, closed it, opened and closed it again before looking at the ground. “FUCK! I am being an asshole, aren’t I?” He growled mostly to himself. “Look, congratulations and all, I just- God, past me is such an asshole, I don’t even fucking know what I’m supposed to say. Sorry for being an ass? I admit that it was entirely my fucking bad.”

Sollux crossed his arms, his glare softening. “Yeah, yeah. What the fuck _ith_ your problem? Jutht jealouth you can’t get Thtrider to give you a thtraight anthwer?”

Karkat visibly flinched, narrowing his eyes at Sollux. “What do you fucking know about-“

“You’re not thubtle,” Sollux huffed, looking up as the school came into view. “You thtarted being an ath after you talked to him. Where ith he anyway? Doethn’t he normally walk with you?”

“I guess he found someone else to annoy in the morning,” he huffed, glaring intently at the ground. “And I didn’t fucking talk to him. I was _going_ to, but he was too busy laughing up a storm with his new bestie. Guess who he was giggling like an asshole with, drawing some shitty comic and being ironic or whatever? Terezi!”

“Are you really that jealouth, KK?” Sollux asked, making the other groan.

“I don’t know. We’re not even officially fucking dating! That’s why I need to talk to him! But every time I saw him yesterday she was right. Fucking. There. I can’t talk to him about important shit in front of my ex!”

“KK, it’th been a year.”

“Yeah, and?”

“Jutht get over yourthelf and talk to him,” Sollux huffed, flicking the shorter teen.

“Like you have much room to talk.”

Sollux stopped in his tracks, wrapping an arm around Eridan’s shoulders as he caught up. “I think I do, actually.”

Eridan huffed and pushed his arm off, opening the door and holding it open for Karkat before letting it fall closed in front of Sollux. The Captor scowled, but let Eridan hold his hand once they were inside.

“That’th not how you win the chivalry contetht, ED,” he huffed, swinging their hands a bit.

_Maybe I’m just givin you a head start, so you won’t lose so badly later._

Sollux snorted, glancing at Karkat, the other was fake gagging, but he seemed a bit more relaxed. Of course, he tensed again as they saw the new person at their table next to Dave. Eridan blinked as he recognized the blind girl from his class, scribbling on a paper with brightly colored markers.

“Yo, Rezi,” Dave said, making her tilt her head up. “Meet the gang. You said you knew Karkat, but Sollux and his man are here too.”

She stood and cackled, tapping her cane against the table as she stepped away from her chair. “Yeah, I know the Grumpy Mr. Cherry. And by Appleberry’s man, I’m assuming you mean Eridan?”

Sollux raised an eyebrow. “How do you figure, TZ?”

She cackled again, sliding her glasses to the end of her nose and winking in his general direction. “I have my sources.” Before anyone could question her further, she tapped her way out of the library. Sollux nudged Karkat toward Dave, the former glaring at him while the latter gathered the marker covered pages.

Eridan sat next to Rose, glancing at the thick book she was reading. Some wizard story, he’d guess by the cover. She gave him a smile, telling him the name of the series and where he could find the first book before he could even ask her about what she was reading. He managed to grab it, but froze as he glanced at the desk. He’d never checked a book out here before. All the books he read were placed back on the shelf before he left.

Turning back to the table, he noticed that neither Karkat or Dave was anywhere to be seen but Sollux was playing on his phone. He took the opportunity to rest his elbow on the other’s head, similar to what the other had done that morning. Sollux glanced at him, looking halfway between annoyed and amused as he noticed the book.

“You checked that out?”

Eridan shook his head, glancing at the desk. He felt a little embarrassed to ask for someone to just walk with him to a desk, but Sollux seemed to understand. He stood, taking the book and walking Eridan to the desk. The librarian smiled at them, checking the book out and handing it to Eridan as the bell rang.

Like the day before, Sollux walked him to class, taking a moment to mess up Eridan’s hair before he left. Eridan tried to fix it, annoyed but somehow …finding the whole thing endearing. At least he didn’t have to worry about anything changing.

Karkat was almost late, but seemed a little lighter.

_I’m assuming it went well._

A red flush colored Karkat’s pale face, but he tried to act aloof, like Eridan couldn’t see the blush. “Better than I fucking expected. Apparently, the asshole was waiting for _me_ to ask instead of just doing it himself.”

_So…you’re dating him then?_

Karkat nodded, and Eridan was sure he saw the faintest smile on his face. But then class was starting and once it was over the other left quickly.

Art class was mostly painting the creature he’d created, the project making him smile. He wasn’t very good at 3D art, but it was still a lot of fun and he could be proud of what he’d made.

Swim class was the same as always, though the water somehow felt colder. He kind of wished the pool was heated sometimes, but the cold water didn’t bother him for long. He was heading to speech before long, where Terezi greeted him in a loud voice. She didn’t seem to mind his silence, declaring that she’d make Sollux translate for him when he was around.

As Eridan walked to lunch, a pair of arms wrapped around him and made him jump. He looked behind him to see Sollux snickering and shoved him off, storming into the cafeteria. It wasn’t long before Sollux handed him a cookie as an apology, and Eridan took it with a smile and rolled eyes.

Karkat was sitting beside Dave, arguing with him. They seemed about the same, though the Strider seemed more…happy? It was so hard to tell sometimes.

Eridan insisted on walking Sollux to class again, though it almost made him late to his own. The afternoon passed quickly, the classes beginning to blur into routine and the next thing he knew he was at swim practice. As they dried off after practice, Coach Nitram informed them that he was giving them tomorrow off practice, encouraging them to rest up before the meet.

Sollux wasn’t against the bike rack when Eridan got outside and he almost was disappointed before he heard a voice behind him. He jumped and turned to see the Captor seated on a bench, hugging him, and fishing out his sketchbook.

_I don’t have practice tomorrow._

The other blinked, tilting his head. “Alright? And?”

Eridan rolled his eyes. _And, we could go to dinner. Like a good luck date before the meet._

Sollux snickered, but shrugged. “Workth for me. Should I jutht meet you at your place?”

Eridan nodded, already planning things in his head. Once he was home, he told Sollux goodbye before hurrying to his room. He had to make this perfect.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long guys! Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner!

The air was sharp with cold as Eridan stepped out of the house the next morning, almost painful in his lungs and very visible in front of him as he exhaled. It wasn’t cold enough for a coat or gloves quite yet, but it made Eridan glad for the jacket and scarf he wore. He pulled the scarf up to cover his nose, trotting down the driveway to meet Sollux by the mailbox. The Captor had a jacket on as well, his hood pulled up over his messy hair.

‘ _Good mornin_ ,’ he signed, glancing across the street. Karkat was shuffling down his driveway, towards the blonde waiting at the end. Eridan grabbed Sollux’s hand and pulled him to the other pair, where Karkat grumbled something resembling a greeting and the Strider merely nodded at them.

Eridan momentarily pulled his hand from Sollux’s to flip his jackets collar up, part of him wishing it had a hood and the other part knowing that even if it did he wouldn’t risk messing up his hair with it. Still, he hated how the cold was both numbing and painful at the tips of his ears. He heard Sollux snickering beside him, shooting a quick glare at the Captor. The blonde rolled his eyes behind the colored lenses, still smirking as Eridan put his hand back in the warm grip. While he was shivering and generally unable to tolerate the cold, Sollux felt like a fucking space heater.

By the time they reached the school, Eridan had pressed himself against Sollux’s side in an attempt to steal as much body heat as possible. He supposed he should be grateful that the cold front hadn’t rolled earlier, as he’d been walking home with damp hair and wasn’t really trying to get sick, but at the moment he just hated the cold.

The inside of the building was much warmer, but he could still feel the cold like it was trapped on his skin. Eridan wrapped his arms around Sollux’s chest as soon as they were seated in the library, burying his face in the side of the other’s neck and laughing to himself when Sollux jumped.

“Jethuth, ED, you’re fucking freething!” the Captor hissed, halfheartedly trying to push him off but Eridan was having none of it. He was cold and if he wanted to warm up by hugging his boyfriend that’s what he was going to do. It helped that he was starting to get better at realizing when Sollux was actually irritated and when he was just being an ass. So, he just huffed and squeezed him tighter.

“Clingy little shit,” Sollux mumbled, but he sounded halfway amused, looping an arm around him.

Someone made a gagging noise, though it was quickly drowned out by Karkat’s rasp. “Yes, yes, we’re all aware that these two have NO fucking sense of public decency and are bound to exhibit the most disgusting displays of tooth rottingly sweet affection known to man despite the fact that no one here needs to see them cuddling like a pair of fuzzy baby barkbeasts-“

“KK what the fuck jutht call them puppieth-“

“Did I fucking say you could interrupt me, shit for brains?!”

Sollux’s sharp chin dug into Eridan’s scalp as the taller teen slumped in his chair with a loud groan. “You’re jutht jealouth becauthe my boyfriend _wantth_ to cuddle with me.” Eridan could hear the smirk in his voice, rolling his eyes but making no move to pull away from the hug. He was warm and comfortable.

“Aw, babe, you should a told me,” he heard Dave chime in, imagining the slightest upturn of the others lips against the normally stoic face. “No need to be embarrassed, Kitkat. I know how irresistible the Strider charms are.”

“The only thing that’s irresistible is the urge to punch you in the face, Strider!” Karkat screeched, spluttering through the sentence. “And don’t you dare ‘babe’ me, you insufferable fucking stain on the underwear of the universe!”

Sollux laughed and Eridan could feel it in his own chest, more so as the other tried to stifle it.

He finally pulled back enough to look around the table, resting his hands on the table and leaning on Sollux instead. Karkat was red faced and standing, his hands flat against the table. Dave was leaning back in his chair, his arms out to his sides and his eyebrows waggling behind his shades.

Rose and Kanaya both seemed to be somewhere between exasperation and amusement, sharing a look before continuing to observe with matching wry smiles. It was a long moment before the Vantas finally sank back into his seat, raking his hands rather roughly through his hair and complaining at the ceiling about having to deal with the biggest group of douchebags to ever grace the surface of the Earth.

When the bell rang, Sollux got up abruptly and without his shoulder to support Eridan’s weight, the Ampora tumbled to the side, barely catching himself before his head caught the wooden edge of the table. He scrambled to his feet, shooting a quick glare at Sollux before swinging his bag over his shoulder and storming out the door with blazing cheeks. Behind him, he could hear Sollux call his name.

“ED.”

He kept walking, mostly embarrassed and more than a little irritated.

“Eridan.”

He turned the corner, heading for the staircase.

“Ampora.”

The students were massing in the hall, but Sollux sounded like he was getting closer.

“Are you theriouthly pouting right now?”

Eridan crossed his arms in front of him, his step barely slowing. He was not pouting.

“Oh my god you’re tho dramatic.”

At the door, Eridan stepped to the side, leaning against a corner and watching the students file through the door. Sollux appeared a few moments later, his brow furrowing as he seemed to search the crowd. There was a frown pulling at his lips, though it vanished as he finally caught sight of Eridan.

“Are you done thulking?” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Eridan scowled, flipping his sketchbook open and scrawling in it. _I’m not sulking. Ampora’s don’t sulk._

“Mhm. Thure,” he drawled mockingly.

_I’m not! I have every right to be mad at you right now. I could’ve gotten hurt._

“You’re being ridiculouth again,” Sollux huffed, messing with Eridan’s hair.

Eridan slapped the hands away, his arms folding across his chest. After a second, Eridan sighed and looked up at him with his chin still tilted down.

Sollux let out a long, exasperated breath and pushed his glasses into his hair to rub at his eyes. “Fine, fine. Thorry, jutht…quit with the kicked puppy eyeth.”

He blinked, but laughed a moment later.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up,” Sollux grumbled, taking Eridan’s hand. “Jutht come on. I have a clath to get to.”

Eridan was almost worried that Sollux was actually irritated, trying to get a good look at his face. The Captor met his gaze, seeming to study his furrowed brow and worried frown before his own expression softened.

“I’ll thee you at lunch.” Eridan realized with a start that they were right outside his class and Sollux was already halfway down the hall. He sighed through his nose, opening the door and ducking inside.

Mr. English was scrawling something across the board, probably the outline for an essay. Karkat almost ran into Eridan as he burst through the door, making the Ampora jump and frown at him before heading to their table.

“Sorry,” Karkat mumbled to him. “I thought I was going to be late.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, but gave him a small smile as he turned to the board with the vague feeling that he was forgetting something. A few minutes later it came to him and he groaned, pressing his palm to his forehead. Karkat raised a bushy eyebrow at him, his sharp elbow finding its way into Eridan’s side to catch his attention.

“What’s your problem?” the Vantas said under his breath.

_I completely forgot to tell Sol what the plan is for tonight._

“What’s tonight?” Eridan was half surprised he didn’t know, though he supposed he’d only confirmed the date yesterday.

_I asked him to dinner and since I don’t have swim practice we’re goin tonight._ A smile lit his face. _I’m real excited about it, Kar. Don’t you dare tell him that though._

Karkat snorted a laugh, shoving the sketchbook back towards Eridan. “You two are walking disasters. You’re perfect for each other.”

Eridan stuck his tongue out briefly before returning to the classwork, but the grin fighting its way onto his face was impossible to miss.

The bell rang and Eridan was slipping through the halls to art class with the same grin, running over that evening’s plan in his mind. It’d be his first real date after all, and he was trying to focus on the good before his nerves could set in.

Nepeta was almost entirely absorbed in her project by the time Eridan got there, but not enough to keep her from turning to him with a grin that made him freeze. If the blue tail clipped to her jeans was real, it’d be twitching right now, like a cat ready to pounce.

“I heard something _furry_ interesting,” she said, sharp grin still in place.

Eridan sat down, setting his project in front of him and glancing at her. ‘ _And what might that be?_ ’

“I heard that you and a certain someone are finally together,” she chirped, pulling out a notebook with the words _THE WALL_ across the front.

Eridan rolled his eyes. ‘ _I don’t really see how that’s any a your business_.’

She pouted, propping her chin on her hands. “Come on, Am _purr_ a. I’m just _purr_ ious. You and _Paw_ llux are together, right?”

Eridan’s eyes narrowed slightly. ‘ _Who even told you?_ ’

“That’s _fur_ me to know,” she giggled, writing something down and closing the book.

‘ _Come on, Nep. Was it Kar? I don’t think Sol would have said anything to about it._ ’

With a sigh, she began setting up her paints. “I heard Kar _kitty_ talking about it, but _Purr_ ezi told me yesterday. For the record, I think it’s adorable.”

Eridan huffed, setting up his own paints. His face felt hot and he couldn’t wait until the bell rang, shoving his half-painted thing onto the shelf and darting to swim class. The pool room was colder than the rest of the school, and he couldn’t imagine the water would be anything but freezing.

He was right, and his teeth were chattering as he walked to his fourth period, his hands tucked into his jacket as he tried to warm up. By the time lunch came around, he was shivering less, but he was not looking forward to that part of the meet.

Sollux wasn’t at the table yet when he sat down, but within a few minutes the other slumped beside him. Eridan pressed his cold fingers against Sollux’s warm cheek, laughing a little when he jumped and swore.

“Why are you alwayth tho cold?” he grumbled, taking Eridan’s freezing hands in his own. The Ampora smiled, pulling away to open his sketchbook.

_For tonight, is 5:30 okay to meet?_

Sollux read the note a few times, suddenly cursing under his breath. “I almotht forgot about that.”

Eridan felt his face fall, immediately trying to mask the disappointment. Though it had slipped his mind that morning, he’d been excited and nervous and looking forward to this all day.

The other still seemed to notice, tapping his cheek to get his attention. “Don’t thtart pouting again, it jutht thlipped my mind. Where are we going?”

_It’s a nice seafood place Cro told me about. Which means you have to_ dress nicely.

Sollux grimaced, looking at his outfit. His hoodie was unzipped, revealing the shirt underneath which was emblazoned with a blocky green house. A video game logo? “Tho like one of thothe fanthy jacketth over thith, right?” he said, sounding like he was only half joking.

Eridan gave him a look. _No. I’m not askin ya to wear a tux, but at least be somewhat presentable. Please?_

The grimace didn’t leave the others face. “I’ll give it a shot.”

That would have to be good enough, but Eridan really hoped that he listened. He’d been brought up strict about what being ‘presentable’ meant, and it was hard not to let himself fall back into that mindset. How he was supposed to dress and act.

Sollux’s hand was suddenly in his own again and he was being pulled to the line before he could react. The other shoved a tray of food into his free hand, adamant about him eating all of it.

Eridan walked with Sollux to his fifth period, listening to the other complain about people in the class he was heading to. The Captor gave a quick wave before disappearing into the room, leaving Eridan to walk quickly to class.

Mr. Captor was sitting at his desk as the late bell rang, checking off attendance before the lesson began. Eridan was almost confident in this class now, though the upcoming subject looked like a headache. He’d cross that bridge when he reached it.

The next class passed just as fast, though maybe that was because he was steadily getting more excited. Jade noticed they barely hidden grin in Ms. Lalonde’s class, poking him until he admitted he had a date.

Strider’s class seemed to pass the slowest, Eridan’s pencil tapping against his notebook as he looked over the worksheet and tried to make himself focus. As soon as the bell rang, he shoved his things in his bag and was out the door.

He wasn’t more than a few steps down the hall when he almost ran into Sollux, the others annoyed expression lightening when he caught Eridan’s smile. Though Eridan was almost used to Sollux walking home with him, they split just outside of the school with Eridan firmly reminding Sollux of the time.

When he got home, Cronus was eating take out on the couch with the phone pressed to his ear. Eridan waved as he passed him, heading for his room and getting ready.

He brushed the gel from his hair and restyled it, making sure all of the curls were in their proper places. When it was finally perfect, he pulled on the violet button up he already had picked out, tucking it into his slacks and putting a black vest over it.

The rest of the time before Sollux showed up was spent fussing with every detail, double checking his hair and straightening out any wrinkle he saw. The knock at the door almost went unheard, but Cronus snapped him out of it.

He took a deep breath before opening the door, his eyes widening slightly. There had been a large part of him that actually expected Sollux to show up in a slightly less wrinkled shirt and claim it was presentable, so he was more than a little surprised to see the other in a black dress shirt with a gold tie, though he still wore his colored glasses. His hair had been brushed down, not perfect but decidedly less messy than it normally was.

There was a bit of color in Sollux’s cheeks now, and he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Er…doeth thith count ath prethentable?”

Eridan took another moment of shock before he nodded, feeling heat in his own face. After seeing him in almost exclusively the attire of someone who never left the house, the neat clothing was more than a little nice.

Cronus made him jump when he appeared in the doorway, keys jangling in his hand. “Ready to go?”

Eridan glanced at Sollux one last time. ‘ _Yeah. The reservation is for six and I want to be there early if I can._ ’

They climbed into the car, leaving the passenger seat empty with Eridan sitting beside Sollux in the back. It didn’t take them long to reach the place, the fountain in front of the door only serving to make the place seem even fancier than Eridan had anticipated. Maybe he should have picked a more casual place.

Before he shut the door to the car, Cronus looked at him. “Call me if anything comes up. You got your card?”

Eridan nodded, patting his pocket. His father had a tendency to deal with problems by throwing money at them, including his sons. Eridan’s allowance had never been small, and it had actually gotten bigger when he’d moved out. He supposed it was to keep them from contacting him for money.

Eridan really didn’t like using his card, anxiety twinging his stomach as he waited for the day his father would cut off his funds entirely and completely shut him out of the family. He took a deep breath and Sollux’s hand, stepping inside.

Like with the movies, Eridan didn’t bring his sketchbook. Instead, he had a small notebook and pen tucked into his vest pocket. He poked Sollux and glanced at the host, scribbling quickly.

_Tell him the reservation is under Ampora._

Sollux raised a hand before stepping up and repeating it. The host’s eyes widened a little at the name and his eyes flicked from Sollux to Eridan. They were seated quickly, the waiter taking their drink orders before they were left alone at the table.

The dining area was half full, with a few chandeliers lighting the space. Tall windows let the light of the setting sun stretch across the room, glinting off the glasses and silverware and giving the room an orange tinge.

“Thith plathe ith really nithe,” Sollux mumbled, fiddling with his glasses.

Eridan nodded, looking at his drink as the waiter set it down. He told them he’d be back in a few minutes for their orders, sweeping off to take care of another party.

“Tho do you go to platheth like thith a lot?”

_Not really. Only when Father or Feferi’s mother had an event._

“An event?”

_Business dinners and such. They were stiff and awkward. I only liked the ones that Fef was at._

Sollux grimaced. “Why did you have to go to buthineth dinnerth?”

He shrugged. _After Cro left, I was the only possible heir able to show up. Not that I’m going to inherit anything._

“…why not?”

_Father still thinks that Cro is gonna fail out of the music business and he’ll run the company. I’m not…really heir material. I’m the youngest and… well honestly who would put me in charge of anything?_

Sollux’s eyes narrowed a little. “Every time he getth brought up he thoundth like more and more of an ath.”

Eridan grimaced, pointedly ignoring the statement and looking at his menu. He jotted down his order and tore the page out, placing it on top of his closed menu.

_What are you thinking about doing after high school?_

It seemed like an appropriate topic, considering he’d been talking about what he wasn’t going to be doing in the future. Besides, he was curious.

Sollux shrugged. “College, I gueth? Dad would kill me if I didn’t, and at leatht he won’t complain about my major. Well…part of it anyway. I want to thtudy computer thcienthe, but… I kinda want to code video gameth,” he admitted. “You?”

Eridan grimaced, tapping his pen against the table. _I don’t know. I…haven’t really thought about college all that much._

“Really? I would have guethed art.”

_Well_ yeah _but I’m trying to think about a viable career option._

“You can do graphic dethign, or conthept art. Hell, you could even jutht be a painter.”

_And how likely am I to actually get anywhere with that?_

“That dependth on if you give it a shot. If you like art, then go for it.” Sollux shrugged.

Eridan glanced down, not looking back up until the waiter returned for their order.

Sollux gave the menu a panicked glance before he pointed at some fried thing, handing his menu to the waiter. As soon as he left, Sollux glanced over at Eridan.

“Next time we should jutht get a pitha and play Thuper Thmash Broth at my houthe,” he said quietly, looking at the rather nice glass his soda had arrived in.

Eridan frowned a little, looking at the table. _Sorry._

“Nah it’th…nithe. Jutht kinda … out of my league.”

The confusion must have been obvious enough, because Sollux only took a moment to explain.

“You’re uthed to thith kinda thing, but the fanthietht I’ve ever been ith at Chrithtmath dinner when we have to go to my Grandmother’th houthe and even then it’th jutht a clip-on tie. I wouldn’t even think about coming thomeplathe like thith on a date. Pluth…you thaw the way that guy looked when he heard your family name.”

It might have been the most honest Eridan had ever heard Sollux and he reached across the table and took his hand, writing with his free one.

_I’m only an Ampora in name, Sol. Yeah, fancy dates might be nice once in a while, but honestly as long as we’re havin fun together I don’t care what kinda date it is. You don’t gotta be fancy._

Sollux finally grinned at him, and Eridan returned the sentiment, looking up when their food arrived. The other looked surprised by the plate, his eyes lighting up when he took a bite. Though Eridan knew that their next date would probably be a gaming day, he decided he was going to take him to more fancy places at some point, if only to see him brighten like that again.

All too soon, the food was gone and Eridan’s eyes were scanning the dessert menu. The molten fudge brownie looked good to him, but he glanced over at Sollux.

_You want some dessert?_

The other studied the menu closely, grinning a bit and turning the menu to Eridan. He was pointing to a picture of honey drizzled cheesecake and Eridan couldn’t help a small laugh at the excited expression.

“What? It lookth good.” He paused. “Do you think it’th big enough to thave thome?”

Eridan raised an eyebrow. _Why?_

“Mituna doethn’t ever get to have thtuff like thith. He’d probably love it.”

The Ampora paused, jotting a quick note and handing it to the waiter when he cleared their table. He left before Sollux could say a word and the Captor looked at him, confused.

Eridan didn’t acknowledge the look, and it was only a few minutes before two plates of sweets were placed in front of them, along with a to-go package. Sollux glanced from his own dessert to Eridan’s, flipping the lid of the box open and staring for a moment at the slice of cake that perfectly matched his own.

“You didn’t have to-“

_Well I wanted to. That’s all there is to it._

Sollux closed the box and gave Eridan one last smile before digging into his food. Eridan’s dessert was chocolate perfection, the heat of it even better considering the weather. All too soon, the plates were empty and Eridan got the check from the waiter.

He paid for the meal, though Sollux kept offering to cover his meal. Eridan rolled his eyes.

_You paid for the movies._

“Yeah but that wath the movieth, not thome fanthy dinner.”

He didn’t seem too put off about it at least, as they walked out of the restaurant. Cronus pulled up not long after, eyeing the box in Sollux’s hands.

“Aw, for me, chief? You shouldn’t have.”

Eridan gave him a look. ‘ _I didn’t. That’s for Sol’s brother._ ’

Cronus grimaced at the mention, but shrugged. “Fine, fine. I’m just kiddin’ around, Eri.”

When they pulled up to Sollux’s house, Eridan got out and walked him to the door. Before the other could duck inside, Eridan pulled him into a tight hug.

Sollux returned it, stepping back and glancing at him. “Thankth. It wath…fun.” Eridan wondered why he looked so nervous, his eyes widening as the other pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. His face turned bright red and he barely managed to sign a goodbye before Sollux was inside and he was heading back to his brother’s car.

Cronus was laughing, but didn’t say anything even when they got home. Eridan darted back to his room, glancing at his laptop and considering calling Feferi. Though, he could always tell her tomorrow. She’d promised to be at the swim meet after all.

It only took him a moment to decide that he would much rather sleep after the long day.

After all, he had another one tomorrow.


	29. Chapter 29

The moment Eridan opened his eyes, he was hit with a sharp pain that wedged itself behind his eye and ached as the light streaming in through his window fell across his face. He pulled his comforter over his head and realized that it was entirely too hot. Had Cronus turned up the thermostat overnight?

He kicked the blanket off, grimacing as the cool air forced a shiver across his shoulders. The skin of his cheek felt hot under his palm as he covered his face with his hands, forcing himself to sit up and grimacing as nausea swirled in his stomach.

No. No no no no. He was _not_ sick today. It was allergies, it was lack of sleep (though he’d just woken up), it was absolutely anything except for an actual illness. He stood up, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head to try and rid himself of the pain and dizziness. Of course, that only made it worse and now he was taking deep breaths to try and alleviate the churning of his stomach. This was the worst possible day for this to happen.

After making sure Cronus wasn’t in the hall, he darted to the bathroom on slightly unsteady feet and opened the medicine. He just needed to get rid of this headache and he could make it through the day. Tomorrow he’d stay home, he’d rest and recover. Today all he needed to do was survive.

As he swallowed a couple pain relievers he cringed, his throat deciding that then was the perfect time to let him know it hadn’t been left out of the pain Olympics. He turned the water to cold, taking a few gulps and splashing it onto his face before glancing at the mirror. His eyes looked tired, the green duller than normal, and his face was somehow fever-flushed and scarily pale at the same time. No one was going to believe he was alright, at least not like this.

His hands shook slightly as he pulled a small bag of makeup from under the sink, sorting through the bottles and brushes to find what he needed. Over the years he’d gotten good at making himself look okay, hiding exhaustion under foundation and forcing a smile past the heaviness of his entire body. At least keeping things natural meant he could leave the eyeliner in the bag, he didn’t think his hands were steady enough to give that a try.

By the time he zipped the bag up he looked more awake than he felt, the only indication anything was wrong being the pained twitch of his eyes as he tried to swallow past the rawness of his throat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, gripping the edge of the vanity to steady himself as he prayed the medicine kicked in soon.

Feferi was coming to the meet, probably with her mother. Sollux would be going, so would Cronus and maybe more of his friends. He couldn’t just sit this out because of stupid _cold_. Even if they told him it was fine, even if they smiled and waved it off, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they’d be disappointed in him. He’d be letting down his friends, his coach, the other people on his team.

A voice at the back of his skull told him he should be used to disappointing people by now.

He tried to ignore it.

A knock at the door made him jump, sucking in a breath that immediately sent him into a painful coughing fit. He forced the coughs back, blinking away the tears they had brought to his eyes before he opened the door.

Cronus was standing outside, the thick glasses Eridan hadn’t seen in years making the younger Ampora stare for a moment. The elder scowled, pushing them further up on his nose.

“Shut up.”

‘ _I haven’t said anything._ ’

“No, but still shut up. I fell asleep in my last pair of contacts and the new ones won’t be here for a week,” his irritated look turned to concern as another deep cough burst from Eridan’s chest. “You okay, Eri? You’re soundin kinda rough.”

‘ _I’m fine._ _Just a cough_ ,’ Eridan lied, barely holding back another cough.

Cronus didn’t look like he believed him, but sighed and let it go. “Well, let me know if it gets worse, alright?”

Eridan nodded and forced a smile, trying not to rush back to his room. As soon as the door closed his face fell back into a tired grimace, his limbs feeling like lead and dragging him down. How was he going to be able to swim like this?

He groaned, running his hands through his hair before pulling on the most comfortable sweater he owned and wrapping his thickest scarf around his neck. At least the yarn muffled his coughing, hard as he tried to control it.

The smell of food hit him like a freight train as soon as he stepped out of his room with his bag slung over his shoulder, making him gag for a moment. His stomach seemed to be actively rioting at the moment, the thought of eating more unappealing than usual. Cronus glanced back at him and he tried not to look as sick as he felt.

“Ready for breakfast?” his brother asked and Eridan tried to ignore the bile burning the back of his throat as he shook his head.

‘ _Not hungry._ ’

Cronus’s brow furrowed. “Don’t you have that swim meet today?”

‘ _Yeah. I’m just not hungry right now._ ’

That didn’t seem to help anything, but Cronus dumped some of the food into a plastic container and shoved it into Eridan’s hands. “Well, eat that when you get hungry. I know how you are.”

‘ _Thanks,_ Dad.’ Eridan signed as soon as shoved it into his bag. He didn’t miss the way Cronus flinched, but he ignored it along with the guilt that settled cold and heavy in his stomach. The throbbing in his skull only got worse as he forced himself out the door.

Sollux was only just arriving at the end of his driveway, his wave pausing halfway through. “…Eridan? Are you-“

Eridan barely managed not to glare at him, wishing concern didn’t irritate him so much. When would they realize he didn’t want it, that he didn’t deserve it. He pulled out his sketchbook, fishing out his violet pen.

_I’m fine. Just a headache._ He stifled a cough, trying to mask it as him clearing his throat. Sollux tilted his head, but slung an arm around his shoulders. Eridan leaned against him for a moment before pulling away. Despite the cold air around them, he felt far too hot and the arm was making him somewhat claustrophobic.

Sollux paused before shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket and walking across the street. The freezing ball in Eridan’s stomach only got colder and he hunched his shoulders a little as they met up with Karkat and Dave. The former immediately launched into complaining to Sollux about whatever movie Dave had brought over for him to watch and the latter laughing as he leaned against the Vantas whose voice was far too loud for Eridan’s headache.

Eridan was glad when they got to the library, slumping into a chair and laying his head on the table. Sollux glanced at him before poking his shoulder. The Ampora sighed and sat up enough to write.

_What?_

“Are you okay?”

He flinched at the worry barely masked by Sollux’s usual snark.

_I’m fine, like I said earlier. There’s nothin to worry about._

“…did you eat thith morning?”

Eridan paused before nodding. He felt bad for lying, but he didn’t want to cause anyone more worry than he had to. Feferi had been right been she called him dramatic, but the theatrics were rarely about things that actually mattered.

_I’ve just got a headache, Sol._

Sollux didn’t look satisfied with that explanation, leaning against the table to look him in the eyes. “…are you exthited for later?” he asked.

The pain in Eridan’s head had eased slightly, but he still wasn’t in any kind of conversational mood. He nodded despite this, leaning over a little and resting his head on Sollux’s shoulder. This was still comfortable and seemed to calm the other just a bit. When the bell rang, he let Sollux grip his hand and tug him to class, trying to reassure him with a smile when the other left.

Karkat threw a few worried looks his way, but Eridan pointedly avoided any questions that were hissed at him. He dropped his books back in his bag towards the end of class, staring down at the container of food still sitting in there. He picked it up and stared at it for a moment before pulling the lid off and dumping the contents into the trash after Karkat left. He put the now empty tub back in his bag before dragging himself to art class.

His movements were sluggish, the tightness in his throat seeming to have spread to his lungs as he found himself coughing harder than before. He stopped at the water fountain, the cold water a temporary relief. The paintbrushes he used once in class seemed to be working against him as well, the vision in his head adamantly refusing to be copied onto the paper mache. Eridan scowled at the project, almost violently throwing his brushes into the cup of water at the edge of his desk. Nepeta gave him a look, but said nothing as she continued with her own project and Eridan was grateful for that.

The chlorine smell that permeated the pool room was almost overpowering, though it normally didn’t bother Eridan. Still, he couldn’t let on that he was feeling even the slightest bit off as he dove into the water. The freezing pool wasn’t helping him feel any better, but the shock of the cold was enough to get him motivated and as long as he kept up the momentum he was fine. Swimming was second nature to him, the muscle memory keeping him moving even when he lost focus.

One, two, three. Breathe. One, two, three. Breathe. One, two, three. Breathe.

It was calming, but calm wouldn’t win him any races. He pushed the pattern, setting the cycle to repeat faster as he pushed off the wall. When his arms refused to drag him another lap, his legs mostly numb, he clung to the wall and coughed violently against the tile. Coach Nitram looked concerned, but Eridan pushed off the wall in an attempt to prove he was fine. He was trying to prove it to himself as much as he was trying to prove it to the coach.

At the end of the period he dragged himself from the pool, his knees weak beneath him. He didn’t feel any better than before, but at least he didn’t feel any sicker. Just a bit tired from all of it. Luckily speech class took nothing out of him, letting him doze as he waited for the bell to ring.

It did so before long, letting him shuffle to the cafeteria with his headache starting to come back. The table was already loud and crowded, the sight making Eridan groan internally as he took his seat as quietly as possible. Within a few minutes he felt a tugging at his arm and looked up to see Sollux looking down at him with the worry still visible.

“Come on. Let’th get thome food.”

Too tired to even protest, Eridan let himself be dragged to his feet and towards the lunch line. The students surrounding them were just as loud as the ones at their table and infinitely more annoying because he didn’t know them. He took tiny steps forward with the line, crossing his arms tightly across his chest and setting a scowl onto his face to keep himself from cringing in pain.

The food looked twice as unappetizing as normal, mushy and shining with grease. Eridan’s lip curled up as he carried it to the table, stabbing at the ‘meal’ with his fork and nibbling at the edge of the mystery meat. Most of his eating consisted of him moving the meal around his plate and taking the tiniest of bites on occasion.

Sollux, however, was scarfing his down without a problem. Normally Eridan might say something about his apparent lack of taste buds, but at the moment he just kept his eyes on his plate.

“Shouldn’t you be eating more?” came the nasally voice from beside him and Eridan’s plastic fork almost went through the Styrofoam tray as he stiffened.

_I’m fine._

“You keep thaying that, but you know I’m not an idiot, right?”

Eridan rolled his eyes and Sollux narrowed his.

“I’m theriouth. You hardly eat ath it ith and you have that thwim thing today.”

_Like you’re any better._

“Hey. I don’t eat well but at leatht I actually eat.”

_I eat! Just because I have some semblance of standards for my food_ -

Sollux grabbed his wrist. “Latht night wath the motht I’ve ever theen you eat, and even that wath thothe tiny fanthy mealth. I’m your boyfriend, I’m allowed to worry about you.”

Eridan yanked his wrist away. _Exactly. You’re my boyfriend_ not _my parent! Just fuck off._ With that he stood and for the first time in a while he stormed to the library and curled in a corner with a book he had no intention of reading. The sharp guilt was building further, tearing at him from the inside out. Why couldn’t everyone just stop worrying about him?

He felt heat behind his eyes as he buried his face in his knees. Just last night he’d been happy, eating fancy food and watching his boyfriend in awe of everything he’d grown up with. His boyfriend. Eridan bitterly wondered how much longer Sollux was going to put up with his bullshit. He pushed his glasses up and scrubbed angrily at his eyes until the bell for class rang.

For the first time since he’d moved here, he considered skipping fourth period. Surely one class couldn’t hurt, though perhaps the class that Sollux’s father taught wasn’t the best one to skip. He pushed himself to his feet and made his way to class, sitting in the back and taking notes while trying to appear as small as possible. He was grateful when the bell rang and he was able to head to a more relaxing class.

His headache was back full force, his churning stomach not quieting once and his face once again feeling hot. Ms. Leijon had promised a reading day, their assigned text marked on the board as the students took their chair and/or beanbags. Eridan sank into a large one in a corner, his book open on his lap although he didn’t manage to read much of the text before the ringing ushered him towards his next class.

Jade waved excitedly at him, babbling about the next movie night and assuring him that his boyfriend could tag along despite Eridan not participating in much conversation at all. She didn’t seem bothered by it, though she did question him occasionally and he gave her the same ‘I’m fine’ everyone else had gotten.

The last period was frustrating and slow, making his headache even worse. Luckily, it finally ended. No so luckily, he immediately had to head to the pool room. The Coach had ordered pizza, of which Eridan took one slice that he nibbled on for the better part of an hour before they had to get ready for the meet.

Eridan looked down at himself, grimacing at how pale and thin he was, the muscle swimming gave him not enough to hide the way his skin clung to his bones. He’d certainly gained some weight since moving here, but that didn’t change how much he hated the way he looked. He wondered if Sollux would too.

Shaking the thought away, he followed the rest of the team into warm-ups, hearing a familiar voice calling his name from the bleachers as he reached the other end of the pool. He squinted through his goggles to see Feferi waving wildly at him, her mother sitting by her side, seemingly amused by her daughter’s antics.

“HI, ERI _FIN_! OH, HI _SHOAL_ LUX!” Eridan felt his heart leap to his throat as Feferi dragged Sollux to sit with her, her mother and it looked as though Cronus had showed up as well. The nerves only added to Eridan’s still roiling stomach as the meet finally started.

He barely listened to the list of events, only focusing on the name of his own competitions. A quick glance earned him another enthusiastic wave from Feferi and a less energetic one from Sollux. Cassandra nodded in his direction and Cronus signed ‘ _Good luck_.’

It was nice.

It didn’t help.

Eridan stood as his event arrived, the diving block cold beneath his feet. The water was cold and sharp and Eridan cut out everything except for swimming. He ignored the splashes of the other swimmers, the yelling of the crowd. It all faded into the background as he pushed through the water. He hit the wall, flipped in the water and pushed off again. At the other side, he repeated the action. And again. 100 meters and he finally stopped, panting as he dragged himself out of the water and looked up. Third.

He knew he should be happy. He’d placed, after all. Not everyone could say that. But still, the bone deep instinctual feeling of ‘not good enough’ was hard to shake off. Still, he smiled and still he sat on the bench as he waited for the relays to begin.

They seemed to arrive quicker than his initial event, three people stood alongside him. He was the second leg, diving in as the first reached the wall. He only had to swim 50 meters this time, hearing the splash of the third swimmer as he rested against the wall for a moment. The meet was a small one, but it was still nice when their team scored the highest out of the three competing teams.

Eridan got a small medal for his placement, the ribbon heavy around his neck as he got dressed and padded over to his family. Cronus messed up his hair while Feferi threw her arms around his neck and screamed her congratulations into his ear. He winced, barely able to force a smile. His headache was getting worse, his head practically spinning as the group began walking toward the front of the school. About halfway there, he stumbled. He didn’t catch himself.

The next he knew, Sollux’s arms were around his waist and one hand moved to press against his forehead. “Shit- he’th burning up.”

Feferi put her fingers against his cheek. “Eri _fin_!”

He tried to wave away the hands, but the exhaustion made even that movement difficult. He could hear Cronus talking quietly to Cassandra, though his head was too fuzzy to focus on what they were saying. Feferi put her hands on her hips and scolded him for not telling anyone he was sick before giving him a hug and making him promise to get better before she left.

Eridan felt one of Sollux’s arm hook under his knees and the skinny teen lifted him with less effort than Eridan expected. He was surprised that Sollux hadn’t said anything yet, but the look on his face made him almost glad. Which was why he flinched when Sollux’s voice finally reached him, sitting in the back of his brother’s car as they began driving.

“Why didn’t you tell me, or anyone?”

He shrugged, looking down.

“No. No you don’t get to practically collapthe on me and then shrug. You knew you weren’t okay! Why didn’t you thay thomething? Or write it- whatever!”

Eridan shook his head, pressing his hands to his face. Sollux was worried and angry and Eridan didn’t know what to do. What was he supposed to tell him? He’d been scared to tell them, he didn’t want to be weak? He was already weak as it was, he hadn’t even been able to handle one day.

He heard Cronus’s voice through the panicked daze, felt hands helping him from the car. He stumbled until he felt a bed to collapse on, swallowing the pills he was handed and curling around a pillow. He wished it was Sollux.

He wanted to hug him and tell him how sorry he was for worrying him. To fix this any way he could.

“Hey, chief. I’m gonna take Captor home. You try to get some sleep, alright?”

Eridan nodded, feeling heat well behind his eyes. Sollux was right to be angry. He was worrying everyone, bothering them, inconveniencing them.

The door closed and he burrowed his face into his pillow, tears soaking the material and hands signing apologies no one would see.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I had this chapter written and am posting it since I don't know when I'll be able to post next!  
> If anyone is interested in Sollux and Cronus's conversation, I've posted it to a collection of drabbles for this AU  
> If you have a prompt, question or request for a drabble you can leave them in the comments of this story or of the drabbles! I hope you enjoy!

A hand on Eridan’s shoulder pulled him from sleep abruptly and he sat up just as suddenly, his head spinning from the movement. His face felt hot and he pressed a hand to his cheek as the memories of the day before came back to him. He glanced at the window, the soft glow of sunlight letting only the hint of day through as the blinds were closed. What time was it?

“Eri?”

Eridan jumped, having forgotten what had woken him for a moment. Cronus was holding a thermometer and a bottle of cold medicine, concern etched in the lines of his face. The younger Ampora took the thermometer and tucked it under his tongue, sitting up and leaning against the head of his bed.

“You feelin any better?”

‘ _I feel like I got hit with a truck._ ’

“That’s what happens when you don’t tell anyone you’re sick.”

Eridan flinched and looked down, silence sitting heavy between them until a sharp beeping echoed from the thermometer.

101.4.

He scowled at it and took the medicine before curling back up and trying to ignore the world. Turns out that didn’t work well with his brother still there.

“I think you should go to the doctor.”

That shot through Eridan’s chest like an arrow, bright and cold and panic. He stared at his brother for a moment of shock before shaking his head and signing ‘ _NO!_ ’ on repeat. Cronus sighed, looking very much like he anticipated this reaction.

“Eridan-“

‘ _It’s just a cold! I’ll be fine!_ ’ He hated doctor’s offices. They were too sterile, the smell of cleaner burning his nose. It didn’t help that the thought of needles poking at him was almost enough to make him start hyperventilating.

“I just want to be sure! You almost passed out yesterday. You would have collapsed if your boyfriend hadn’t caught you!”

At that, Eridan paused and crumpled in a little on himself. Right, Sollux.

‘Why didn’t you tell anyone?’ rang in his head, Sollux’s angry scowl impossible to forget.

‘ _Did he get home alright?_ ’

Cronus rolled his eyes and nodded, crossing his arms. “Yeah. He’s almost as irritating as his brother.”

‘ _What did he do?_ ’

“Just was an asshole. I shoulda made him walk home.”

‘ _…thanks for givin him a ride. At least I know he got there okay._ ’

“It’s not a problem, Eri. Now…about the doctor.”

Eridan inhaled sharply, a pained look on his face as he desperately searched for a way out. ‘ _Don’t I have school today? What time is it?_ ’

“Not while you’re sick, you don’t. It’s already almost noon.”

He felt his stomach clench with a sharp wave of nausea that had nothing to do with his illness. ‘ _Please, Cronus. I’m fine. I don’t need a doctor._ ’ His breath was coming in short bursts, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to force it back to normal.

A hesitant hand patted his shoulder, the worry in Cronus’s voice doubling and tripling. “Hey- hey, Eridan. Breathe, come on,” he said, barely sounding steady himself. “You’re fine. No one’s gonna hurt you, I promise. It’s just a doctor’s office.”

Eridan shook his head violently, his hands shaking. He pulled them to his chest and curled up tighter on himself, gasping for air. He could see the bright white of the office against his eyelids already, pressing his face into his knees to escape it.

He would be fine. It was just a cold. ‘ _Just…give it a day, please. If my fever doesn’t break by tomorrow, I’ll go._ ’

There was a long silence before Cronus sighed, patting Eridan’s shoulder again. “…alright. I won’t make you go today. But you have to eat today, okay?”

Eridan finally looked up again, tilting his head. His stomach hurt at the thought of eating, but Cronus crossed his arms.

“It’s either that or go to the doctor. If you won’t take care of yourself, someone has to. …Did you even eat anything yesterday?”

The seconds ticked by before Eridan finally looked away, unable to answer. He didn’t think the two or three total bites he’d taken counted as eating.

“…Eridan.” Cronus sounded exasperated and Eridan couldn’t help flinching at the tone. “You can’t just…not eat. I know you don’t feel all too great right now, but no food just makes it worse. No wonder you almost collapsed.”

‘ _I’m sorry._ ’

“Don’t-“ he sighed. “It’s okay, Eri. Just…eat, okay? I’ll bring you some soup.” Eridan nodded, staring at his hands as they slowly stopped trembling.

He hated the very idea of a doctor’s visit, though he knew Cronus was just worried and wanted to help. Still, he’d do anything to keep from ending up there. His eyes were still on his hands when Cronus returned, handing Eridan the steaming bowl.

Eridan hissed at the heat and set the bowl on the nightstand, grimacing at it. It was mostly broth, the spoon already leaning against the side and a sleeve of crackers placed beside it.

“Don’t give it that look,” Cronus sighed, leaning against the doorjamb. “I know I’m not the best cook, but I can make canned soup. I’m not that hopeless.”

A small chuckle escaped Eridan, but he knew that Cronus understood exactly why Eridan was looking at it like that. His stomach clenched, but he picked up the spoon and sipped at the broth. It was warm, soothing his throat and as soon as it hit his stomach the roiling settled. Hunger replaced the nausea as soon as he allowed himself to eat and he picked up the bowl again to eat.

He finished about half the bowl before his stomach began to protest. Cronus didn’t look satisfied, but he just ruffled Eridan’s hair.

“Get some rest and finish the soup later, okay?”

Eridan nodded, letting the bowl clink against the wood of the table again. ‘ _Thanks, Cro._ ’

“It’s not a problem, Eri,” Cronus assured him. “Just focus on getting better.”

With that, the elder Ampora left and Eridan pulled his comforter tight around him like a cocoon. He hated being sick, feeling utterly useless. Back at his father’s house he’d close himself in his room, too tired to get up and make anything to eat. Too tired to do anything but sleep unless Feferi invited herself over to force feed him and make sure he took medicine. Luckily, he rarely had an actual illness, but that didn’t mean that it was any better when he did.

He yawned, his heart squeezing when he thought of his best friend. Was she worried? Probably and knowing her she was most likely going to yell at him just a bit. She had every right, he supposed. He’d worried her, after all. The same with Sollux.

Eridan pressed his face into his pillow, shaking away thoughts of people who were mad at him and trying to fall asleep. He’d feel better if he could just sleep a little more, or at least that’s what he told himself.

Finally, his breathing evened out and he began to drift.

A loud voice yanked him from sleep, leaving him squinting at the door. The figure in the doorway was much shorter than his brother, holding a stack of paper. “Oh good, you woke up,” Karkat huffed, managing to sound annoyed and relieved at the same time. “I brought your homework, so you’d better be thankful you absolute fucking mess.”

Eridan tried to sit up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the heel of his hand before finding his glasses. He could see the half full bowl of soup sitting on the nightstand still, along with a full glass of water.

Looking past that, Eridan searched for his sketchbook, a notebook, anything. He finally spotted one, sitting on the desk across the room. Sighing, he waved to get Karkat’s attention and pointed to the desk. Luckily, Karkat understood and handed him the paper with a pen.

_Thanks. I dunno why that was so far away._

“Yeah, yeah. Like I was going to give myself an aneurysm trying to understand your hand language shit.”

_Sign language. And it’s a good skill to have. Sol’s even givin it a go._

His hand tightened on his pen, violet ink spreading into a dark spot on the paper. Eridan tried to wipe away the excess ink and only ended up with a colorful smear across the side of his hand.

Karkat caught the tension, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What?”

_Did he…talk to you at all?_

“Captor? Yeah. He was whining all day, but what the fuck is new? He complains almost as much as Kankri, though thankfully he doesn’t interrupt his complaining to lecture me on the ways of being a pretentious asshole. Oh, speaking of him, Kankri says ‘tell Eridan I sincerely hope he gets well soon’.” Karkat took on the prissiest voice he could while quoting his brother, rolling his eyes as soon as the message was delivered. “He’s in the living room with your brother. He has some thing about germs, so he won’t come back here. I swear, it’s not like you’re dying. It’s a cold.”

Eridan let him rant himself out, chewing on the end of his pen as he thought before beginning to write.

_What was he whinin about? Did he tell you what happened?_

“You mean did he tell me about you being a dumbass and not telling anyone you were sick until you almost passed out?” He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms pointedly, though at least he looked more annoyed than angry.

_Yeah…that._

“Of course, he fucking told me. Why wouldn’t he? Apparently, I have a sign tattooed on my fucking forehead inviting everyone to bring all of their problems to me.”

Eridan felt his shoulders hunch a little, his eyes boring holes in his sketchbook. Of course, Sollux would be complaining about it, complaining about him. Probably telling Karkat how annoying and dramatic he was, how much of nuisance-

“Ampora!” He felt a hand grip his shoulder tightly and realized he had curled up fully with tears wetting his cheeks. His chest felt tight, but he pulled in a deep breath and tried to make himself relax. Being sick or stressed always made his attacks worse, so he couldn’t imagine being both was helping him at all.

He raised a hand and wiped his cheeks, ignoring Karkat’s worried eyes as the red pierced through any and every defense.

_Is he mad?_

“Well, I mean yeah but-“ Karkat’s frown deepened. “Why is him being upset such a big deal?”

_My boyfriend’s mad at me, how is that not a big deal?_

Karkat’s expression went blank and he blinked slowly as he studied Eridan. “Who the ever-loving fuck said he was mad at you?”

_What? You said he was mad._

“Yeah? He’s pissed that he wasn’t able to help you out, or like that he didn’t notice fast enough or some shit like that. Why would you think he was mad at you?”

_He seemed mad yesterday. He was yelling in the car and at lunch and now you’re the one deliverin my homework instead of him. I made him worry about me and carry me and-_

“Okay, I’m gonna stop you right fucking there, you absolutely backwards asswagon.”

Eridan tried to write something, but the notebook was plucked from his hands.

“Nope. As the leader of the group, I am revoking your notebook rights until you stop being a dumb fuck. Are you gonna keep being a dumb fuck?”

Eridan simply blinked, confusion written clearly as words across his face.

“I’ll take that as a resounding yes from the idiot brigade.” Karkat slapped the notebook against his hand. “You’re going to sit there and listen to this right the fuck now. No one is mad at you. There is not one fucking person who is mad _at_ you. Sollux is an asshole and when he gets mad he doesn’t think about anything but the fact that he’s mad. You’d think for someone so obsessed with twos he’d have less of a one-track mind but what the fuck ever. And no, just because he was mad doesn’t mean he was mad at you.” He groaned and put his palm firmly over his face. “And I’m going to ignore the fact that you’re complaining about who brought your homework because fuck you too.”

Somehow, Eridan still didn’t quite buy it. It was hard not to with Karkat being so insistent, but why would Sollux yell at him if he wasn’t mad at him?

“He’s still pissed at the situation, and honestly who isn’t, and I’m gonna take a wild guess and say he didn’t want to yell at you again. I’m sure he’ll be around to bother you sometime this weekend. Now is the asshole factory back in working order or am I keeping your notebook?”

Eridan was more than a little irritated to not have his notebook, but Karkat’s ranting had helped a bit. He nodded and reached out, grabbing at the air in the direction of the notebook. As soon as it was back in his hands, he flipped to a new page.

_Are you sure?_

Karkat scowled at him and Eridan held his notebook tightly to his chest. “Are you calling me a liar?”

_…well I don’t think you think you’re lyin._

“Don’t pull that shit with me, Ampora. Listen to me. Take whatever cotton is plugging your ear out, shitstain, and actually listen to me. You listening?”

Eridan slowly nodded.

“He. Is. Not. Mad. At. You. I’ve known him for years, we’ve been best friends since middle school, just trust me on this.”

Karkat took a deep breath and pressed his hands together in front of his face before pointing them at Eridan. “Are we abso-fucking-lutely clear?”

_Yeah, Kar… Thanks. That actually helps a lot._

“Well I aim to fucking please,” the Vantas grumbled, glancing at the nightstand. “Just drink your fucking water and get better so I don’t have to listen to him gripe anymore.”

Eridan picked up the glass and took a few sips, slipping out of bed and standing before Karkat could react.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing! Get back in bed.”

Eridan rolled his eyes. _I’m not helpless, Kar. I’m just gonna reheat my soup. I think I can handle walking to the kitchen._

He picked up the bowl and shuffled out of the room, Karkat right on his heels. “Yeah, but I’m the one your brother is gonna blame if you so much as trip over your own feet because I let you get up.”

The Ampora ignored him at this point, stepping into the living room and heading for the kitchen. Kankri sat on the couch with Cronus, the latter looking more than a little stressed. Eridan wondered what they were talking about as he stuck the bowl in the microwave. Karkat leaned against the counter and drummed his fingers against it impatiently.

Eridan glanced over at him and offered a small smile as his soup cooked. It wasn’t long before the machine was beeping at him and he retrieved the bowl, immediately sipping at the broth and jerking back as it burned his tongue.

“Dumbass,” Karkat huffed in amusement, hooking his arm with Eridan’s and pulling the other back to his room. The Ampora sat on his bed, finishing off the soup and sipping the water. He was still surprised by how hungry he’d been once he started eating, the empty bowl somehow not enough. Perhaps he’d make another bowl for dinner.

It wasn’t long before Kankri was calling Karkat to go home, the Vantas standing with a huff and ordering Eridan to get well before leaving. Eridan snorted at the display, curling up until Cronus asked if he wanted something for dinner.

It was another can of soup, but Eridan was already feeling better. His throat didn’t hurt as bad, and the pain in his head was all but gone. His fever hadn’t spiked since he’d been awake, though he was still coughing occasionally. It really had been just a small cold.

The next morning he felt even better, his eyes bright when he realized his fever was gone. His throat still bothered him a bit, but nowhere near as bad as it had the other day. He happily informed Cronus, relishing both getting better and not having to go to the clinic.

“I’m glad you’re feelin better, Eri, but take it easy for the next couple days anyway. Just to be sure.”

Eridan nodded, but curled up on the couch instead of in bed to watch tv. His eyes had just about glazed over as he lost himself in the show when a knock at the door pulled him out of it.

“I’ve got it,” he heard Cronus announce. The door opened a few moments later and a beat of silence followed before Cronus sighed, “He’s on the couch,” and disappeared into his room.

“Thankth.”

Eridan immediately tensed, pulling his knees closer to his chest as a familiar figure came around the couch. He had a backpack slung over his shoulders, his glasses hanging at the end of his nose.

“I uh…I thought you might thtill be feeling shitty, tho I brought thome gameth,” he said nervously, shifting from foot to foot.

Though Eridan couldn’t deny that he was nervous too, a wide grin split his face and he searched quickly for a notebook. _Want to set up in here?_

Sollux returned the smile somewhat hesitantly, nodding and pulling the system from his backpack. Eridan couldn’t imagine how he’d convinced his brother to let him take it from the house as he watched the other set it up. While Sollux was situating that, Eridan vanished into his room and reappeared with every blanket and pillow he could find. With the other’s help they made a sort-of nest and collapsed into it, each holding a controller.

Eridan was still stiff for the first few minutes, concentrating more on the screen until he felt Sollux leaning against him. The other mumbled something, but Eridan couldn’t understand it. He nudged him, frowning until he repeated it.

Sollux sighed and paused the game.

“KK thaid you thought I wath mad at you.”

There was a long moment where neither of them moved, just sitting there with mismatched eyes meeting green ones.

“I know I’m abtholute shit at thith kinda thtuff, but I’m not mad at you I promithe.”

Eridan felt tears in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Sollux.

“Wha- why are you crying? I thaid I’m not mad.” The other sounded panicked, so Eridan pulled back just enough so he could see the smile on his face before burying it back in Sollux’s chest. He felt Sollux’s fingers combing through his hair, the video game music idling around them. Before long, he felt Sollux pull him closer, his lips pressed to the top of his head as he whispered “I’m thorry,” into his hair.

Eridan wished he could tell him it was okay, but a warm feeling in Eridan’s chest told him Sollux already knew.


	31. Chapter 31

Evening came too quickly, the light in the window fading until Cronus ripped their concentration from the television screen.

“Captor? Are you gonna need a ride home?”

Eridan jumped, letting Sollux land the final blow that sent his character flying. The Ampora gave his brother an annoyed look. That was the closest he’d gotten to winning a match in the entire afternoon. Sollux smirked at him before checking his phone and pausing.

“Shit. It’th later than I thought,” he mumbled mostly to himself, extracting himself from the pile of blankets. Eridan fell into the space he left, watching Sollux wrapping up the wires of the console for a moment before getting up to help. Once it was all packed into Sollux’s bag, the Captor slung it over his shoulder and looked at Cronus. “Ith the offer for a ride home thtill up?”

Cronus rolled his eyes, turning on his heel and walking toward his room. “I’ll get my keys.”

Eridan wrapped his arms around Sollux, catching his attention for a few moments before he left. Sollux looked at him, grinning slightly and putting his arms lightly around Eridan’s shoulders. “Clingy,” he teased, resting his forehead against Eridan’s as the Ampora pouted. “You do realithe you’ll thee me on Monday, right?”

He only squeezed Sollux tighter for a moment, letting the warmth calm him as he reminded himself one last time that he wasn’t angry. He hated the part of him that told him Sollux would remember every reason he should be mad as soon as he left, that by Monday everything would fall apart.

Sollux’s expression softened a bit as he looked down at Eridan, pink dusting across both of their faces. The Captor looked almost thoughtful, like when he was studying something he couldn’t quite solve. After a moment, he pressed a quick kiss to Eridan’s nose and stepped away. Eridan’s face went bright red and he blinked several times, staring at Sollux as the Captor snickered at his expression.

“I’m not going to rithk catching your cold,” he said with a shrug, giving him one last wave before Cronus reappeared and they both headed for the door.

Eridan collapsed into the pile, cocooning himself in the blankets and stuffing his head under a pillow. What was that supposed to mean? If Eridan hadn’t been sick, would Sollux have…

He touched his finger to his lips, wondering what it would be like if he had. The thought only made him more embarrassed.

Sollux Captor was going to be the death of him.

By the time Cronus returned, Eridan had his head barely out of the blankets, watching tv while mostly buried. It was comfortable, though it wasn’t long before he was dragging himself from the cozy pile and hauling half of the blankets to his room to curl up under them. His mind was lighter than the night before, letting him quite easily fall asleep.

The sound of an incoming call dragged him from the bliss of sleep, his eyes narrowed as he answered while still mostly engulfed in blankets. Feferi appeared on screen, her lips pursed together as she studied him. Glancing to the small image of his own face, he was pleased to note that he didn’t look anywhere near as pale as he’d been the other day, the bags under his eyes seeming lighter and his eyes somehow brighter.

“Are you _eel_ ing any _bait_ er?” She asked, her frown softening a little when he nodded. Of course, it was only a moment before her glare was back full force, the tiny voice of Eridan’s self-preservation instinct urging him to hide from the angry Peixes. “What were you thinking?!”

Though most of the time Feferi seemed like the sweetest of the Peixes family, her anger was just as terrifying as her mother’s. Eridan flinched back a little, but somehow her anger was easier to handle. It still made his chest hurt, but maybe it helped that her scolding’s always ended the same way. It was predictable, understandable, and he was more than used to it. He’d done a lot of stupid things over the years that they’d been friends.

‘ _I didn’t think it would be that bad_ ,’ he signed, not quite looking at the screen. ‘ _I don’t always need everyone lookin after me._ ’

“Oh no. Do _not_ start with that, it doesn’t work on me anymore.” Shit. She wasn’t using fish puns. “You may not need to have your hand held, but that doesn’t mean people can’t help you! You probably scared Sollux, not to mention worried me and your brother. You can’t do this anymore!”

‘ _Sorry, Fef…_ ’

“Don’t ‘sorry, Fef’ me, mister! I’m used to you refusing to accept help, but they aren’t! Well, Cronus might be.”

Eridan fiddled with the edge of a blanket. ‘ _If it makes you feel any better, Sol already yelled at me about it._ ’

Her face fell. “Why would that _mako_ me _eel_ _bait_ er? I don’t want you to get yelled at, I just want you to act _shell_ y let the people who love you _kelp_.” At least she was punning again.

‘ _Weren’t you just yelling at me?_ ’

“I was not yelling,” she corrected him, putting her hands on her hips. “I was scolding. _Shoal_ lux isn’t _reel_ ly mad at you, is he?”

Eridan shook his head. ‘ _He’s more mad at…the situation I guess?_ ’

She sighed, crossing her arms. “I don’t blame him. _Prawn_ estly though, Eridan. _Wave_ talked a _boat_ this.”

‘ _I know, I know. But it was a big day! And you were there for the meet and Sol showed up and I couldn’t just back out like some kind of weak-_ ‘

“Taking care of yourself is not weak!” She interrupted, her hands slamming onto her desk. “Did you really think that we’d be mad if you couldn’t compete?”

He didn’t answer, looking away. She was right, of course she was right. How stupid was he? Tears burned in his eyes.

“…Eridan,” she said softly, trying to meet his eyes. “I’m just worried about you. You push yourself so much, and for what? Some crazy idea of perfection? No one expects you to be perfect, Eridan.”

‘ _Yeah, because you all expect me to disappoint you already_ ,’ he signed harshly, his lip curling up.

“No! I’m just saying you don’t have to try so hard-“

‘ _You know exactly why I push myself-_ ‘

“Well, we’re not your father!” She said in an exasperated voice.

Eridan flinched harshly and almost hung up, his hands starting to shake.

“Eridan…I know you don’t like to talk about him, but he’s not here! You don’t have to try so hard anymore. You can relax and ask for help and no one is going to blame you if you need someone to lean on. Just please, please, you have to let _someone_ in. Even if it’s not me.”

Panic and anger mixed in his stomach and he refused to look at her, forcing his trembling hands to obey him as he signed. ‘ _I’m gettin real sick of people assuming they understand anythin. You, Sol, even Cronus! None of you were there to even start to claim you know-_ ‘

“Don’t you dare!” Feferi finally yelled, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Don’t you _dare_ tell me I wasn’t there! I have been there for years! I have watched that man, that monster, tear you apart and convince you that you’re worthless. I’ve had to pick up the pieces more times than I can count, and I’ve watched you shut out the entire world just to survive so don’t you dare tell me I don’t understand! Maybe I wasn’t there every fucking minute of the day, but I saw enough to tell you that you didn’t deserve a single thing he told you! So please, Eridan. _Please_ …don’t shut me out too.”

Eridan’s breath hitched, his hands pressing against the screen like he could reach through it and hug her. He never meant for this to happen, this is exactly what he was trying to avoid. He’d tried for his entire life to put on a smile for her, to keep her smiling and happy. She was his best friend, the only thing he’d had for so long, and she was hurting because of him.

‘ _Fef- Fef, please don’t cry_ ,’ he frantically signed, wet droplets falling onto his hands as they moved. ‘ _I didn’t- I can’t- I’m…I’m so sorry._ ’

Neither of them moved for another minute, tears streaming down both of their faces as one tried to find her voice and the other tried to control the violent sobs that shook through him. Her words finally broke through, quiet and shaky.

“…I’m sorry I yelled at you, Eri _fin_ ,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes. “I just…I want to _kelp_ and you’re so…”

‘ _Stupid?_ ’ he offered.

“Stubborn,” she corrected. “I’m not…I’m not mad at you, _okra_ y? Just…can you promise you’ll talk to me? And…try to take care of yourself?”

Eridan nodded a little wiping his own face. ‘ _I’m sorry…why…why do you even put up with all my_ carp _?_ ’

“Because you’re my _frond_ ,” she said firmly. “And I care a _boat_ you! You’re important to me.”

That made him feel warm, a feeling he clung to as proof that he could be okay. But she was right, he needed to let people get closer to him, as terrifying as that thought was.

‘ _You’re important to me too, Fef,_ ’ he signed, giving her a small smile that she returned.

They talked until neither of them were able to ignore the growling of their stomachs, earning a short laugh from Feferi as she gave Eridan firm instructions to eat before hanging up. Eridan’s eyes hurt a bit from crying, but he felt lighter as he walked to the kitchen in search of something easy to make.

The remainder of the day passed in a blur as Eridan slowly and steadily worked through the stack of homework on his desk, sighing in relief as he finished the last paper.

At least finishing it meant he didn’t need to worry about it the next morning, feeling far better than the last morning he’d woken for school. With freshly styled hair and an outfit he’d spent more time than he’d like to admit picking out, he stepped outside and took a deep breath of the crisp air. It was probably a bad idea, the cold hurting his lungs, but it was refreshing, and he found himself grinning as he met a familiar face at the end of the driveway. A few familiar faces, actually.

Karkat glared at him as they walked, Dave’s arm slung over his shoulders like a living scarf. “Ampora, I know they say idiots can’t catch a cold but since that’s obviously a load of horse shit, how are you feeling?”

Eridan shrugged, though when Karkat gave him a look that made it apparent that was not an acceptable answer he sighed and flipped open his sketchbook.

_I’m fine. It really wasn’t that serious of a cold, I just pushed a little too hard last week. I stressed myself out._

“Thwimming probably didn’t help,” Sollux added, looping his arm around Eridan’s shoulders and mirroring Dave. Eridan leaned against him a little, glaring up at him as they reached the school.

_Swimmin is a low impact sport that’s actually very relaxin._

“Not when you’re in a competition and thick.” He lightly flicked Eridan’s forehead, laughing when the Ampora smacked his hand away with his expression somewhere between a glare and a pout.

The table greeted them like usual, though Kanaya broke away from her conversation with Rose to ask Eridan how he was feeling.

He plastered on a smile and wrote that he was feeling fine. It had just been a cold. Though he knew that she was only asking because she was worried, it was incredibly hard not to feel like she was pitying him.

Luckily most of the group was too wrapped in their own problems to ask, letting Eridan get into a fairly heated debate about books versus movies with Sollux until the bell rang. The conversation continued, mostly by Sollux, into the hall and all the way to Eridan’s classroom. The Ampora rolled his eyes before shooing Sollux toward his own class and hand Mr. English the work he’d completed over the weekend.

Eridan spent most of the class catching up on notes, standing as soon as the bell rang and hurrying towards the next period. Ms. Callie greeted him with a smile, though she seemed more preoccupied by the man she was seemingly arguing with. They looked very similar, though he was more built and completely bald, his eyes an odd shade that was almost blood red.

Ignoring that, Eridan put the finishing touches on his project, setting it carefully aside to dry. Nepeta was doing the same, smiling at him but not prying into his absence, which he was more than a little grateful for.

When swimming came around, he reluctantly asked the coach if he could take the day off. Though he felt better, he didn’t think that getting in the cold water would be good for his health in any way. He sat on the bleachers, filling a few pages with doodles and sketches that he was actually pretty proud of. Vriska shot a barbed comment his direction as he left, but he tried to ignore anything that came out of her mouth at this point.

Speech was useless as ever, but at least it was over quickly and he was able to head to the cafeteria, taking his seat beside Sollux. The Captor took his hand and stood almost immediately, leading him to the line. Eridan almost wanted to wave off the concern, but Feferi’s words echoed in his ears and he didn’t complain.

Eating was getting easier, which he was sure was a good sign, though he wasn’t sure exactly what it was a sign of. Was he getting ‘better’? What even was better for him?

He gripped Sollux’s hand as they walked to his class, only letting go when he had to hurry to his own class. Calculus was the same mix of frustrating and utterly boring it always was, though Eridan was proud of how well he was keeping up now.

The next class was comfortable, though today was a discussion day and Eridan, unfortunately, had to participate. He wrote out thoughts in his sketchbook and on the board, feeling fewer nerves rioting in his stomach as he found himself at the front of the class with many eyes on him. He smiled a little to himself as he moved on, Jade surprising him with a crushing hug in the hallway and demanding to know where he’d been.

He managed to wave off her concern, though that might only have been because class was starting and Ms. Lalonde didn’t really appreciate people talking during the lesson. She didn’t seem too persistent in getting answers, but she did walk him to his final class despite his insistence he was fine.

Strider’s class passed faster than he’d expected it to, though he hadn’t expected to run into Sollux almost as soon as he left the classroom. The other grinned at him, an expression Eridan wanted to see more of.

“Do you want to come over?” he asked, a simple question. Eridan knew he hadn’t gone over in a while, his resolve to go only solidified when Sollux added, “Mituna’th been dying to kick your ath at Mario Kart again.”

He hooked his arm with Sollux’s as they walked toward his house, his free hand fiddling with his scarf after he let Cronus know where he’d be. Mituna popped out of the house as soon as they reached it, his arms pulling Eridan into a tight hug almost forceful enough to knock him over before doing the same to Sollux and dragging both of them into the living room.

The game system was back in place, nestled into the mess of cords in a way that made Eridan wonder how Sollux had managed to extract it in the first place. The Ampora took the controller than was handed to him and watched as the character on screen adamantly refused to win a single race. Still, it was fun to watch Mituna cackle about how he’d gotten first place while Eridan pushed himself almost entirely into Sollux’s lap in an effort to make him lose. When the front door opened, all three of them paused and stared at the doorway to the living room until Simon peeked his head into the door, his eyes bright as he smiled at his sons and Eridan. His arms were full of groceries, but he seemed to be carrying them just fine.

Eridan froze as Simon seemed to focus on him.

“Eridan, could I speak with you for a moment?”

The Ampora was barely able to nod, standing and walking stiffly toward the kitchen. He didn’t know what it could possibly be, but he was sure that he’d done something wrong.

Simon was putting away the food when Eridan shuffled into the kitchen, smiling warmly at him. “I just wanted to ask if you had any plans for Thanksgiving.”

Eridan blinked and frowned at him, but Simon seemed to understand. “Oh- Well, it’s later this week and I was wondering if you had any plans with your family.” After a moment, he continued. "Sollux...mentioned that you weren’t on…the best terms with your father. I didn’t know if you were celebrating with your brother and…Well the point is I want you to know that you are always welcome here. You don’t have to by any means, but if you wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner with our family I just wanted to let you know that you are more than welcome.”

That was unexpected, catching him off guard. Did Cronus have plans? He had no clue.

He asked as soon as he got home, dropping his bag in his room and catching his brothers attention. Cronus looked preoccupied, but Eridan didn’t give that too much thought.

‘ _Are we doing anything for Thanksgiving?_ ’

Cronus looked a little guilty. “Well, actually I’ve been meanin to talk to ya about that. Kanny asked me to go to his family’s place for dinner. He wants me to meet them. I ain’t tryin to leave you out or anything but…”

‘ _It’s fine_ ,’ Eridan assured him. ‘ _Sollux’s dad said I could have dinner with them._ ’

The other looked a little relieved, nodding little to himself. “That sounds like a good idea. I’ll leave you with a key, since I’ll probably being spending the night and we’ll head back in the morning.”

As they planned the holiday, Eridan caught sight of a stack of envelopes on the table. One of them looked heavier, made of thicker cream paper with a gold foil trim. He raised an eyebrow.

‘ _What’s that?_ ’

Cronus snatched them up, looking irritated for a split second before shrugging. “Nothin. Junk mail. You know how it is.”

Eridan frowned as the other disappeared into his room, his brow furrowed.

What on Earth was that about?


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to cover all the way through Thanksgiving, but it ended up being longer than I expected. So next chapter is Thanksgiving! Thank you to everyone who's reading and enjoying this story, and thank you all for being so patient I am sorry that updates take so long.

‘ _Thanksgiving break?_ ’

Karkat looked exasperated, running his hands through his hair and glaring at Eridan over the table. “Fucking _yes_ , douchenozzle. It’s only three days but the multi-headed horror that is the public education system did grant us with a break so we can properly eat ourselves into a food coma. As if we actually need any help doing that but what the fuck ever.”

Eridan stared just a little blankly at him, barely registering Sollux’s snickers at his side.

“KK, jutht enjoy the dayth off.”

“Fuck you! I have to spend my vacation stuck on the floor of my grandmother’s house trying to avoid my brother and Eridan’s apparently!” The Vantas once again glared at Eridan as though it was his fault his brother had decided to tag along.

“Babe, I invited you to my place,” Dave shrugged, though he mostly seemed amused by Karkat’s ranting.

“And I told you that one Strider is more than enough for me to deal with. Much less adding Lalondes to the equation.”

“Ey, Rose and Roxy are cool. And Dirk ain’t that bad.”

“Yeah, but what about the other one?”

Dave tensed a little, but the moment passed so fast that Eridan had to wonder if he’d only imagined it. “Derrick is-“

“Just as obnoxious as you with the money to inflate his ego far beyond any sort of necessary.”

“Nah, Karkles. He’s cool. He said he’s gonna try to make my comic into a movie.”

Karkat stared at him, his thick brows furrowed. “If you think informing me that he is planning on ruining everything cinema stands for makes the idea of spending a holiday around him anything other than horrifying then-“

Dave shut him up by slumping against him in an uncoordinated heap.

Eridan rolled his eyes at the display, poking Sollux until the Captor looked at him.

_So, we don’t have school tomorrow?_

“Nope. Why? Do you want to do thomething?”

He shrugged, leaning against him and thinking about what he could use his free days for.

“You could come hang out again,” Sollux suggested, taking his hand as the bell rang and standing.

Eridan followed suit, swinging their hands between them as they walked down the hall. Perhaps he’d convince Sollux to take him back to that ice cream place, if only to try a new flavor a collect a couple more color changing spoons. Or maybe they could find some ridiculous movie to watch and spend the afternoon poking fun at it. He squeezed the others hand as they reached his classroom, letting go to walk inside with a wave.

The students all seemed restless, eager to get out of class and start the holiday break. By the look of the empty seats scattered around the room, several of them already had. Eridan did appreciate the quiet those absences provided, able to keep his focus on the lesson more easily.

Art was a bit more relaxing, or perhaps it was just a better environment for students to let off energy, so the noise never rose above a background humming. Today was a free day and Eridan was taking the opportunity to practice life drawings. Nepeta was more than happy to act as a model, making ridiculous faces to along with her silly poses. Still, it did help and Eridan was quite happy with how most of the turned out.

The girl attempted to lean over his desk and look at the drawings toward the end of class, having gone back to her work about halfway through. Eridan didn’t notice her at first, carefully coloring one of the more serious profiles he’d managed to sketch. He only had her eye and part of her nose colored, the olive of her eyes flecked with gold and her freckles sprinkled over her nose.

“Wow!” her voice surprised him enough for him to jump, eyes wide as he stared at her. She giggled but didn’t step back from gazing at his sketches. “Those are really good! I like that one.” She pointed at a sketch on the other page, one of her at work as soon as she sat back down. She had her tongue poking slightly out of her mouth in concentration, her brow furrowed as she worked.

After a moment he tugged the page free, checking the back to make sure it was blank before handing it to her. Her eyes went wide, and she gaped for a moment before taking it ever so carefully. “Are you sure? You put a lot of work into these.”

He shrugged, gesturing to the half-colored drawing in front of him. ‘ _I’ve got more. And you like it, so why not?_ ’ It was an odd feeling, handing his art off to someone. Even more so as she gently held it to her chest before tucking it into her bag.

“Thank you so much! I’ll give you something when we get back from break!”

Eridan felt his face go bright red, his hands flapping slightly before he signed. ‘ _You don’t have to worry about that! Really._ ’

“But I want to!” she insisted, tucking her auburn hair behind her ear and rolling her eyes. “Consider it fair trade!”

The bell rang before he could argue with her farther, and she zipped off into the crowded hallway. Eridan sighed through his teeth but closed his sketchbook and shoved it into his bag. He squeezed through the hall, stepping into the pool room and taking a deep breath of chlorine-soaked air. This would be his last day of swimming before the break, and the thought came to mind that he would need to find a local pool, something he could use when the school one wasn’t available, something he might even be able to drag Sollux to during the summer.

He smiled at the thought, diving into the cold water and letting himself relax as he swam. Something was different than before, when he’d been practicing for the meet. He was calmer, the anxiety that had curled in his stomach having eased slightly.

After class, he headed for speech, keeping his head down for the majority of class. They had finished their work, so most of the students were chattering amongst themselves for the time being. Eridan spent the period working on the sketches in his book, cleaning up the lines and carefully picking his colors. He had more colored pencils in his room, but the basic ones tucked into his bag were enough for now.

The bell ringing almost caught him off guard, making him jump a little before scrambling to his feet and heading for the cafeteria. He sat down at the table, still hyper focusing on the picture before him. Fingers combing through his hair pulled him back to the present, his eyes flicking over to Sollux. The other was frowning slightly, tucking Eridan’s still damp hair behind his ear.

“Are you okay to be thwimming again?”

Eridan blinked, staring blankly at him before he flipped to a blank page.

_Of course I am, Sol. Why wouldn’t I be?_

“You’ve been thick.”

_Yeah? I’m not sick now. I’ll be fine._

He raised an eyebrow.

_I will! I promise if I start feelin sick I’ll tell someone. Alright?_

Sollux didn’t really look like he believed Eridan but made the executive decision to let that go. “Fine.”

_So…are we going to do anything tomorrow?_

The other glanced at the lines, getting up and taking Eridan’s hand to tug him along. Eridan rolled his eyes and sighed as loudly and pointedly as he could but followed anyway. He knew Sollux worried about him, that this was his way of taking care of the Ampora, he just wished that it wasn’t necessary.

“Why? Ith thith thome kind of unthubtle way of athking me out?”

Eridan glared at him. _Well it ain’t like your track record of picking up on signals is very comforting. I_ do _have to write everything out for your stubborn ass and even then it doesn’t always get through your thick skull._

“To be fair, you have to write everything out anyway.”

Eridan lightly smacked his arm with the sketchbook, huffing. _That’s not the point and you know it. It’d be the same if I had to verbally explain everything instead of trusting that you could decipher basic social interactions. Honestly, Sol, how’d you ever make it this far?_

“My betht friend ith the bluntetht motherfucker in the known univerthe ith how,” he shrugged, ignoring his boyfriend’s frustrated sigh.

_Whatever._ Yes _, you uneducated cretin. I want to do something with you tomorrow. It can be a date or we can just hang out at your house and play video games with Tuna. Cro is goin out of town with Kar and Kan and I’m not keen on stayin in that house alone all day._

It wasn’t like home, and he knew that, but the thought of empty halls and rooms and just space was enough to make him jittery, desperate to fill even the imaginary void. If he could avoid that, even just for an afternoon, he would be fine.

Sollux rolled his eyes. “A date…or video gameth. Well, who thayth thothe can’t be the thame thing? Like thith weekend.”

_That wasn’t a date. That was you tryin to cheer me up while I was sick._

“I’m pretty thure a date jutht meanth we’re around each other and having fun. Maybe I’ll get Tuna to try and teach you how to thkate.” His eyes lit up in a mischevious way that Eridan didn’t entirely trust.

_Don’t you dare. I can’t skateboard._

“That’th why he’d be teaching you, dumbath.” Sollux teased him, nudging him. “I think he’d be exthited. Pluth, you two get along anyway.”

_Do you know how to skate?_

The smug look turned sheepish and he glanced away, suddenly very interested by the paint just barely beginning to peek from the wall. “I’ve skated before.”

Eridan grinned, poking his arm until he looked back at him with a mix of annoyance and apprehension.

_I’ll give it a try if you do too._

Sollux grimaced, leaning against him. “You know what, fine. I’m pretty thure that you’ll be worthe anyway.”

_Keep tellin yourself that._ Eridan set his tray on top of his sketchbook and carried both to the table, eating with a small smile. Sollux took the opportunity to mess up his hair, earning a glare as Eridan fended him off.

Calculus passed as quickly as it could, Mr. Captor one of the only teachers attempting to get any work done.

Ms. Leijon gave the students the class to read, Eridan gladly losing himself in his book for the period. She wished them all a good break as they left, which Eridan returned with a small wave.

Biology consisted of watching a video, which Eridan watched intently. Though it was interesting, he was still glad to hear the bell ring, signaling the last period.

Mr. Strider handed out the worksheets, but mostly seemed preoccupied by the latest robotics project in the back of the room. He barely even glanced up when the bell rang, waving a hand to dismiss the class.

Sollux was leaning against the wall when he got out of class, a smirk on his face. “Tho, what’th the plan for today?”

Eridan shrugged, starting down the hall. _I was going to head home and see Cro off. Did you want to hang out this afternoon? Oh, what time should I be over tomorrow?_

The other paused, adjusting his glasses. Well, he was attempting to, scrunching his nose to try and push them back into place before giving up and doing so with his hands. “Hey. Tomorrow… do you want to thleep over?”

The Ampora blinked, raising an eyebrow and looking Sollux.

“I mean…I know you don’t do too well on your own and your brother’th gonna be gone motht of the break. I’m thure my parentth won’t mind and Tuna thure ath hell won’t.”

He trailed off, sounding a little too nonchalant and it occurred to Eridan that Sollux was worrying about him. He smiled a little, reaching out and pulling him into a tight hug while pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

Sollux flushed and rolled his eyes, grumbling halfheartedly until Eridan stepped away with a grin.

_It’s so sweet of you to worry, Sol._ He wrote, his smile turning teasing. The other glared at him and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Only tho you can’t pout about me being an athhole,” he mumbled, though he didn’t protest much when Eridan wrapped his arms around one of Sollux’s for the walk home. “You’re tho fucking clingy.”

Eridan shrugged, but loosened his grip a little until Sollux took his hand. It brought a little smile to his face, the little sweet moments reminding him over and over that Sollux cared about him. At his house, he gave the other a quick wave and disappeared inside.

Cronus was ready to go, his suitcase leaned against the wall by the door. Eridan found him on the couch, looking more than a little nervous and tapping his fingers against the back of the couch. One hand twitched toward his jacket’s pocket, searching for cigarettes that weren’t there. He was actually proud of how well Cronus was doing in that regard, noting that he hadn’t seen him smoke since they’d seen Dad.

‘ _Nervous?_ ’

“Of course I’m fuckin nervous, Eri. I’m meetin his family. I already know Karkat doesn’t like me, but the brat doesn’t like anyone so that’s really not who I’m worried about. I mean… I know Porrim’s gonna be there and we sorta get along…” He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. “At least you don’t gotta worry about this, the Captor’s already liked you.”

Eridan rolled his eyes. ‘ _Cro. Just don’t be an asshole. That’s really all it takes to make a good impression._ ’

The other had his arm draped across his face, grumbling to himself and earning a laugh from his brother. The sound of the doorbell made them both jump, and Cronus took a deep breath before putting on a grin and answering the door as though he hadn’t looked on the verge of nausea moments before.

Eridan rolled his eyes. And Cronus was the one lecturing _him_ about talking to people?

The elder Ampora left without much of a fuss, leaving the younger to curl on the couch and stare at the television. He pulled his knees to his chest and tucked his chin into them, hunching his shoulders as he tried to ignore the way the silence wrapped itself around him.

Maybe he should have asked to go to Sollux’s tonight, his lips pursing together as he forced himself to his feet and to the kitchen. He pulled a package of instant noodles from the cabinet, going as slowly as he could through the process of cooking them. Of course, even as methodical as he tried to be, it didn’t take long given that they were called instant noodles for a reason.

With a warm bowl in his hands, he sat back on the couch and forced himself to focus on either the screen or his meal. The Captor’s had been more than kind to him, and he wouldn’t take advantage of that just because he was too scared to stay in a house by himself. It wasn’t like this was going to be the first time he was alone with silent rooms and thoughts and time.

He shook his head, tossing his bowl into the sink before walking into his room and closing the door. At least the smaller space made his hands shake a little less, his head beginning to hurt. He curled under the comforter, shoving his head under a pillow and counting breaths like they were sheep until he fell asleep.

Knocking woke him the next morning, a huff leaving him as he dragged himself to the door. Cold air seeped in as soon as the door opened, revealing Sollux and Mituna bickering on the porch. The former had a pair of roller blades hanging from his hand by their laces, the latter holding a skateboard and a bright yellow helmet with a red and blue visor across the front.

Eridan frowned at them. ‘ _Isn’t it early? I didn’t sleep in that much._ ’

“Mituna wath exthited, “ Sollux said, his brother tugging on him arm impatiently after translating.

“Tholluxth! We have to hurry up! Tula’th gonna meet uth there!” Mituna said firmly, looking at Eridan. “You shouldn’t thkate in that,” he said with a frown, looking at Eridan’s pajamas.

With a yawn, Eridan left them on the couch as he got dressed, stuffing enough clothes for the weekend into a bag and swinging it over his shoulder before stepping out to meet them again.

The skate park wasn’t far, two figures waiting for them among the concrete. Latula jumped to her feet, her skateboard on the ground beside her. Mituna broke away from Sollux and tried to run down the curved concrete toward her, only managing to trip and land almost on top of her. His skateboard rolled to a stop near them as he gave her an excited kiss.

Kurloz’s shoulders shook with silent laughter as he helped both of them to their feet, a cigarette hanging from his scarred lips. He still made Eridan a bit nervous, but he just stepped closer to Sollux and offered a small smile.

It wasn’t long before Eridan found himself sitting on a bench with a pair of skates Latula had brought strapped to his feet. The Captor was helping him adjust the helmet, also provided by Latula.

“It might take you a thecond to get your balanthe, but you can hold onto my arm if-“

Eridan stood and pushed off, gliding over the concrete and turning to face Sollux with a smug grin.

The Captor blinked, looking more than a little confused as Eridan skated circle around him. “Y-you thaid you couldn’t thkate!” he huffed, wobbling on his own skates. They almost rolled out from under him, forcing him to grab at the bench to stay upright.

Pulling a small notebook from his pocket, he scribbled his answer.

_Actually, I said that I couldn’t skateboard. I can roller-skate just fine. Me and Fef did this and ice-skating quite a bit at a nearby rink._

Sollux rolled his eyes, rolling forward a little bit.

_You know, considerin how into skatin your brother is, I’d have thought you’d be better at it._ He teased, pulling the notebook back as Sollux reached for it.

The Captor wobbled again and reached for the paper, stumbling as the other rolled out of reach and landing on the concrete with a loud curse. Eridan couldn’t help a laugh but reached down to help him up.

Sollux grabbed his hand but yanked him down. Eridan landed next to him, barely catching himself and glaring at the Captor. Sollux was laughing, sitting up and messing with Eridan’s hair. Eridan shoved his hands away, getting up again and brushing himself off before skating toward the others.

Mituna was wobbling on his skateboard as he tried to catch up with Latula, laughing while demanding that she wait for him. Kurloz sat on a nearby picnic table, watching with a smile and occasionally blowing smoke rings into the air.

Eridan certainly wasn’t an expert skater, but he was good enough to stay on his feet. Of course, it wasn’t too long before he was out of breath and though Mituna was trying to convince him to try the skateboard, he managed to redirect his attention to making Sollux skateboard. Taking a deep breath, he sat down at the same picnic table Kurloz was perched on.

Dark eyes landed on him, making him tense until Kurloz signed at him.

‘ _Afternoon, brother._ ’

‘ _I’m pretty sure it ain’t noon yet_ ,’ Eridan signed back without thinking much, still a little tense. Kurloz snorted, blowing a cloud of smoke into the sky.

‘ _It ain’t too far off, anyhow_ ,’ he shrugged, his brow furrowing as Eridan stifled a cough. ‘ _Is the smoke a bother?_ ’

‘ _No, no, I’ll be fine._ ’

Kurloz plucked the cigarette from his mouth and put it out on the wood of the table, flicking it into a nearby trashcan. ‘ _I don’t mean to be smokin around someone who ain’t all in that shit. ‘specially not around friends._ ’

Eridan raised an eyebrow. ‘ _I don’t know if we quite qualify as friends._ ’

‘ _No? Well, shit, brother. Any friend of Mituna’s is a friend of mind, but if that doesn’t jive with you I can respect that._ ’

Eridan pursed his lips glancing at the ground for a long minute. ‘ _I guess it’s fine. I just don’t know much about you. Though, I guess we’ve got at least a bit in common._ ’

The Makara smirked, leaning back a little. ‘ _Ain’t that the truth, brother? So, what’s your story?_ ’

The questioning look he gave was answered by the other tapping his throat, bringing a frown to Eridan’s face. ‘ _What does it matter to you?_ ’

Kurloz shrugged, running his hand through his wild hair. ‘ _Ain’t too often that I meet another silent brother. Suppose it’s curiosity. Don’t gotta answer anything ya don’t want to._ ’ He seemed to check his face paint in his phone, wiping a smudge off of his neck.

Eridan pulled himself onto the table part, sitting right beside Kurloz. ‘ _Well, I couldn’t really answer if I wanted to. There isn’t anything wrong with my vocal cords, but I haven’t been able to talk for as long as I can remember._ ’

‘ _Ain’t nothin wrong with not knowin, unless not knowin is the problem._ ’

‘ _What about you?_ ’

He grimaced, pressing his fingertips to his scarred lips for a moment before replying. ‘ _Nothin pleasant. Got into an accident and tore up some shit pretty badly. Meulin got a pretty raw deal of it too. Lost her hearing same as I lost my voice._ ’

‘ _An accident?_ ’

Kurloz nodded, watching as Sollux fell off the skateboard for the dozenth time. ‘ _Motorcycle. Spent a good chunk of time in the hospital for it. Wasn’t all that bad, though. I got a couple a new siblings out of it._ ’

‘ _New siblings?_ ’

‘ _Yeah. My sis was pretty sick and helped Gamzee through some shit. Her and her twin needed a family and I ain’t about to say know to a bigger one. She’s a sweetheart. You might know her. Her name’s Calliope and I think she’s an art teacher, brother._ ’

Eridan’s eyes widened. ‘ _Ms. Callie is your sister?_ ’

Kurloz grinned. ‘ _Hell yeah. Dad’s proud as shit of her._ ’

After a long pause to digest the new information, Eridan looked back at him. ‘ _So, what do you do?_ _Aside from Cro’s band._ ’

The other rolled up his sleeve, revealing brightly colored images inked into his arm. ‘ _I’m an artist of ink_.’

Eridan was staring at the tattoos, a little surprised and a little impressed before Sollux appeared beside them to tell Eridan it was time for the them to go home.

He left Kurloz with a quick goodbye, feeling a bit less intimidated by him now. The skates were returned to Latula and the group made their way back to the Captor house, where Mituna and Sollux had apparently decided they were going to but in some movie about bees until it was time for dinner.

After they’d eaten, the family piled onto the couch to watch another movie, and Eridan somehow ended up wedged between Sollux and the end of the couch, somehow managing to fall asleep before the halfway point.

He woke up curled on the couch with a thick blanket draped over him and the smell of bacon in his nose. It was his first holiday with the Captor family and he was somewhere between excited and nervous, though his face decided a wide grin was appropriate when Sollux came to get him for breakfast.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm sorry this took so long and I know I say that a lot but this time it was because another story decided that its first chapter had to be written, so I've been writing that for a bit now! It's an Earth C Post-ErisolSprite sort of story for anyone that's interested

Eridan yawned as Sollux  dragged him to the dining room, taking a chair and looking with wide eyes at the food piled in front of him. He signed a quick ‘Thank you’ to Simon before Mituna barreled into the room.

“WAFFLETH!!” he screeched barely managing not to knock the plate out of his father’s hands.

“Mituna, be careful,” Mr. Captor (it was difficult to think of him as Phillip) scolded, half-heartedly, nursing a large mug of coffee.

Sollux sat down with his own plate after pulling an energy drink from the fridge. Eridan scrunched up his nose.

‘You know those are terrible for you right?’

Sollux frowned, watching his hands. “I got about half of that, ED.”

Eridan sighed and rolled his eyes, getting up, rummaging through his bag in the living room before reappearing with his notebook. He repeated the statement, earning a huff from Sollux.

The Captor pointedly opened the can, taking a long drink and flipping Eridan off under the table so his father wouldn’t see.

The room was almost crowded with five people, but somehow it was comfortable. Eridan’s elbow bumped Sollux’s all throughout the meal, Mituna almost putting his hand directly into his plate as he reached for the syrup. Simon handed him the bottle, telling him to sit down before doing so.

Mr. Captor sat down after drinking two mugs of coffee, a piece of toast in hand. Simon managed to convince him to eat one waffle, and through it all the family chattered. It was still fairly early, but that didn’t keep the conversation down at all.

Eridan wondered if this is what a family was supposed to be like. He thought to breakfasts at home, of searching up easy recipes when he was twelve and tired of eating cereal for every meal. Of sitting alone at a table meant for thirty people and hoping no one walked in while he was eating. Of the occasional brunch that meant the table was full of people he didn’t know but he had to sit straight and eat neatly and watch as every single person ignored him for an hour.

His felt a lump in his throat, swallowing hard to force his bite of waffle past. Sollux’s elbow bumped him again, though this time it stayed pressed against his arm. He let his eyes flick to the other, meeting concerned eyes.

He smiled at him and took a deep breath, letting the memories pass him by. That had never been his home, never been his family. The Captor’s were the closest to normal he’d ever been, though he appreciated the home Cronus had given him.

When breakfast was over, Eridan helped clear the table and insisted on helping with the dishes. Simon hummed as he washed the plates, with Sollux rinsing and Eridan drying them. Mituna disappeared into the living room and the sound of games was heard before long, while Mr. Captor pressed a quick kiss to his husband’s cheek before leaving for work. Apparently, vacation didn’t mean that teachers didn’t have to work, at least a bit.

With the dishes done, Simon shooed them out of the kitchen, so he could begin cooking for that night. Eridan didn’t know if he’d ever had an actual Thanksgiving dinner, curious as to what it entailed. He knew what he’d seen on television, but he knew better than to think that he could take the screen’s word for it.

Sollux dragged him up to his room, setting up a movie for them to watch. While Sollux handled the technical part of it, Eridan busied himself with making a pile of blankets and pillows. That really was the only appropriate way to watch a movie after all, buried in a haphazard nest of soft things.

The other collapsed onto the pile before Eridan was done with it, though that didn’t stop him from dumping an armful of blanket on top of him. Sollux grabbed the edge of the blanket and lifted it, reaching out his arms until Eridan rolled his eyes and curled to his chest. The Captor wrapped the blanket around them and reached out to start the movie before wrapping both arms tightly around Eridan’s waist.

Eridan settled into the warmth, tucking his head under Sollux’s chin and watching the movie intently. Well, as intently as he could until he fell asleep about halfway through. When he opened his eyes, the credits were rolling. Sollux had pulled one arm away and was balancing his phone on Eridan’s head as he scrolled.

With a  tilt of his head, Eridan glanced at Sollux and watched as he almost dropped his phone with a quiet curse. His shoulders shook with snickers, a smile twitching his lips as Sollux grumbled at him. He reached out an arm and switched it to some new show, though it took them almost an hour to get through a thirty-minute episode because both of them had to stop and complain about it so often.

It was fun nevertheless, just listening to Sollux rant about plot holes enough to keep him entertained. He didn’t fall asleep this time at the very least. Of course, he couldn’t spend all day wrapped up in Sollux’s arms.

Well…he could, but something restless had settled in his chest and after Sollux ended up falling asleep halfway through the second episode he pulled himself from the pile and carefully made his way downstairs. Mituna was yelling at the television, but the noises from the kitchen perked his interest more.

He peeked into the room, eyes wide as he saw how much was going on. Simon looked over his shoulder, giving Eridan a warm smile.

“Good afternoon,” he said, still doing…whatever he was doing. Eridan could cook, but he really only knew how to make simple meals. Nothing like this.

After a long moment, he stepped fully into the room and grabbed the notebook he’d left on the table that morning.

_Do you need help with anything?_

He held up the paper, watching as Simon tilted his head in thought. The other’s eyes suddenly brightened, and he gestured toward a bag of potatoes sitting on the counter.

“Do you think you could peel those?” he asked, pausing to hand him a peeler from a nearby drawer.

Eridan grinned and nodded. It had been a long time since he’d peeled anything, but he was certain he could do it with no problem. He sat at the table with a bag for the skins and a pot for the potatoes, carefully starting to peel them.

The first couple didn’t go as smoothly as he planned, the skin bringing more potato with it than skin, but he got the hang of it. It fell into a nice rhythm, his head moving just a bit to the soft music playing from the radio in the corner. It was a relaxing environment, though there was so much going on.

It seemed like there was a million dishes happening, but somehow Eridan found himself perfectly content among it all. Perhaps it was just that he felt useful, glad to have a job and feel like he was doing something productive for once.  Maybe it was just something to do with the Captor’s, who always seemed to make him feel welcome. To make him feel wanted.

Simon’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, his expression blank when the other looked at him. There was a small laugh before he spoke again.

“I said that I hoped I hadn’t been too pushy asking you to have dinner with us tonight. I know that you’re living with your brother, but I wasn’t sure what sort of things you normally did back home.”

Eridan wiped potato juice on his pants before picking up his notebook.

_Dad isn’t big on holidays. The only thing he ever did stuff for was Christmas, but even that’s just his company party._

Simon frowned. “You didn’t have family dinners or anything?”

Eridan shrugged. _He was busy, I guess. And after Cronus left it was really just me at home so I guess he didn’t see the point._

The other’s eyes narrowed slightly, a reaction Eridan had gotten from Sollux as well but didn’t quite understand. His family just hadn’t been big on…family stuff.

“Nevertheless, you’re a part of our family now and you’re welcome to spend any holiday you’d like with us.”

Eridan’s eyes brightened, a grin wide on his face as he went back to peeling potatoes. He wondered if this was just because he was dating Sollux, though even before then Simon had been kind to him.

Either way, he was happy. It was probably a silly thing to be happy about, just being told he was part of the family, but it didn’t stop the smile from staying on his face.

Heavy footsteps let him know that Sollux was up, the other bearing extreme bedhead from his nap as he waved at them and shuffled into the living room. Within minutes, two voices were heard yelling at the screen and each other.

With a bit of instruction, Eridan washed the potatoes and began cutting them. He was halfway listening to the yelling from the living room, trying to guess what game they were playing as he worked. It was pretty entertaining…until he felt the sharp tip of the blade digging into his palm.

He hissed and dropped the potato and knife, frowning as the beads of red that were bubbling to the surface. Simon looked up, his eyes widening.

“Eridan! Are you alright? Come here.”

Eridan tried to wave off the concern, but the other was having none of it and soon enough he was standing in the middle of the kitchen as Simon wrapped a bandage around his palm. The cut wasn’t deep, but it managed to run almost all the way across his palm so there wasn’t really a big enough band aid to cover it.

When he was done, Simon smiled at him the threw away the ruined potato. Eridan looked at the new knife in his hand, frowning at his reflection in the blade.

Simon paused, tilting his head and looking at Eridan. “Is everything okay?”

The Ampora glanced down, sitting in the chair once again. _Sorry for the trouble._ He wrote in his notebook, a bit surprised at the sympathetic smile Simon gave him.

“It’s not trouble to help,” he assured him. “Like I said, you’re a part of the family. And family helps each other.”

That echoed in his head for a moment, the content feeling he got here building to an almost painful lump in his chest.

“Eridan!?”

Eridan’s head snapped up and he realized that there were tears running down his face, his expression crumpling as everything came crashing down.

He wasn’t sure why he was crying, if he was honest with himself. Cronus had done his best when he’d been around, and Feferi and Cassandra had tried to help in their own way, but here was a family that had no obligation to help him welcoming him with open arms. He pressed his hands to his face, trying to take a deep breath. To calm down. They were being so kind to him, and he was repaying them with tears. Of course, trying to calm down only made his breaths shallower.

There was a soft voice beside him, assuring him that everything was okay, a hand patting his back soothingly.

“Hey, Dad. What’th going on- ED?” Arms were suddenly around him, his face tucked into the warm chest for the long minute it took him to finally calm down.

He stepped away, wiping his face with an embarrassed look.

_Sorry._ His hand was shaking slightly as he wrote.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Eridan,” Simon assured him, his brow creased with worry. “Did I say something that upset you?”

Eridan shook his head a little, taking a deep breath.

_My father wasn’t big on affection…or any kind of attention really. I wasn’t upset. Just… happy and I got a little emotional. Sorry._

“You don’t need to apologize for your emotions,” Simon said. “Why don’t you go play some games with the boys and I’ll finish up in here. It shouldn’t be too much longer now. Oh, and thank you for your help with the potatoes. I appreciate it.”

Eridan nodded and offered a smile, following Sollux into the living room. He declined the offer to play, preferring to watch the game instead. Sollux and Mituna’s matches were fun to watch, though Sollux usually won the rounds were entertaining.

Mr. Captor got back not long after that, giving them a small greeting before going to help Simon finish dinner. When it was ready, they all gathered around the table. Eridan stared with wide eyes at the food, looking more than a little surprised at the pile that ended up on his plate.

For once, eating wasn’t a chore and he found himself actually wanting seconds. As with every meal, it a was a little noisy by enjoyable. The food was delicious, and though by the end Eridan was very full he didn’t feel sick at all. It was a nice change from how eating normally went for him.

After dinner, Mituna dragged them all to the living room to watch hours of holiday specials until Simon declared it time for dessert.

Eridan signed a thank you for the slice of pie he was handed, curling up on one of the many beanbags scattered around the living room and watching round two of holiday specials until he fell asleep. He was warm and full and content, barely stirring when someone draped a blanket over him. His sleep was dreamless, something he was more than happy to have.

The next day, everyone seemed to sleep in, the houses occupants not beginning to emerge until almost noon.

It wasn’t long after that when Cronus showed up to pick Eridan up, looking tired but happy and declaring that the first thing he was doing when he got home was taking a nap. Eridan rolled his eyes, hugging Sollux goodbye and climbing into the car. The ride home was filled with stories about the holiday, including the paraphrasing of a particularly amusing rant from Karkat about turkey that was apparently followed by an equally amusing lecture from Kankri. Eridan was glad his brother had had a good time.

While Cronus caught up on sleep, all the while swearing he never wanted to sleep on a couch again, Eridan milled about the house. He made himself some noodles, missing the homemade food of the Captor house a bit as he leaned against the counter and ate.

As he finished the bowl, his eye caught sight of something sticking slightly out of the trash can. It was cream colored paper that seemed to be the same thickness as the letter Cronus had waved him away from the other day, even the gold foil along the edge seeming to match.

Curious, Eridan grabbed the corner of the paper.

Elegant script wove across the paper, the contents of which made Eridan frown in confusion.

_To Mr. Cronus Ampora:_

_You are cordially invited to the 14 th annual AmporaCorp Holiday party on_-

From there it’s all details and dates, but the thing Eridan didn’t understand was…why did Cronus throw it away.

He looked back into the can, spotting the corner of another paper. Reaching down, he pulled it free as well. This one made him freeze, his heart in his throat.

_To Mr. Eridan Ampora:_

_You are cordially invited to_ -

Eridan jumped as Cronus shuffled into the living room, looking more than a little tired still. He glanced at Eridan, though when he saw what was in his hands he tensed.

“Eridan-“

‘ _Why didn’t you tell me?_ ’

He held the invitation with trembling hands, the words blurring as his focus slipped into his own mind.

His name was on here. _His_ name. This was his invitation, his _personal_ invitation. This was proof that his father was still thinking about him, wasn’t it? He had cared enough to send him a separate invitation.

And Cronus had thrown them away.

“Eridan I-“

‘ _Were you even going to tell me, or were you just going to let me think he’d forgotten about us?_ ’

“It would have been better if he fucking did. We don’t need him, Eridan. It’s not a good idea for us to go.”

‘ _But he wants us there!_ ’

“He could want us to go to fuckin Disneyworld and I still wouldn’t fuckin do it. I don’t give a damn what that asshole wants, and you shouldn’t either.”

‘ _But-_ ‘

“Eridan, the only reason he wants either of us there is for appearances.”

Eridan felt his hands shaking harder, taking a deep breath. Cronus didn’t understand. He might not have like their father, but at least the man acknowledged his existence.

‘ _What if I wanted to go?_ ’

Cronus stared blankly at him. “Why…why would you want to do that? Do you remember what happened last time we went home? He doesn’t give a shit about either of us.”

‘ _If he didn’t he wouldn’t have sent these invitations._ ’

“He only cares about his image!”

‘ _He invited_ me _!_ ”

“And?”

“ _Of course, he’d invite you! He wants you to take over the company! But if he invited me-_ ‘

“Only because he knows I won’t go if you don’t.” Cronus seemed to be getting more irritated, his eyes narrowed as he sighed.

‘ _He could have just sent one for the both of us, but he sent individual ones! This has to prove he gives a shit about me!_ ’

“Eridan the only thing he cares about is his damn company!”

‘ _I’ve been waiting for years for him to acknowledge me-_ ‘

“He’s never cared-“

‘ _Maybe he’s actually trying-_ ‘

“Eridan-“

‘ _Maybe he actually wants me as his son-_ ‘

“Eridan!”

Eridan froze at the sudden loud voice, his hands pressing to his chest as he took a step back. After a moment, he tried again. ‘ _But-_ ‘

“Eridan if he wanted you he wouldn’t have signed the guardianship papers over to me!” Cronus snapped, his voice loud and harsh and echoing in the empty house.

Eridan flinched back, fear and tears welling in his eyes and something in him went completely numb. Cronus seemed to realize what he’d said, his face falling but the words already hung in the air between them.

“Eri, I-“

Eridan shoved past him, slamming through the front door. His chest hurt, the shaking in his limbs turning to pure adrenaline as he heard him again.

Eridan didn’t know what to do, so he did the only thing he could do.

He ran.


	34. Chapter 34

Eridan ran until he could feel the muscles in his legs threatening to give out, his lungs protesting as pain jammed itself between his ribs. Sweat plastered his bangs to his forehead, his eyes squeezing shut as he pushed himself forward. The sound of his sneakers slapping against the concrete of the sidewalk filled his ears, the heat of the sun beating on his shoulders despite the coolness of the air around him. Cronus’s voice echoed in his skull, only pushing him to run faster in some desperate attempt to escape it.

His breath hissed in wheezing gasps between his teeth, something in him finally giving up as one leg crumpled beneath him. Reeling to one side, he landed among cool blades of mostly dead grass, crinkling plants sticking to his sweater and hair as he let himself go limp against the ground to catch his breath. He sucked in a few much-needed breaths, pressing a hand to his chest to feel his heart beating against his ribcage. Pulling himself to a sitting position was almost impossible with his hands shaking as bad as they were, his gasps turning to sobs as the cold weight that had curled in his stomach violently lashed out.

Tears wet his cheeks, blurring his vision as he forced himself to his feet and tried to figure out where he was. Trees lined the sidewalk around him, the light of the quickly disappearing sun filtering through their bare branches. He wrapped his arms around himself, not trusting his legs to carry him any further than the nearby bench. Once seated, he pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around them and burying his face in them. His shoulders trembled and heaved with the crying he couldn’t stop, his hands moving to grip at his hair as if he could rip the thoughts from his mind that way.

A harsh voice was quick to tell him this was exactly why his father didn’t want him. Who would want someone too weak to face the truth, someone so pathetic that they _fucking ran away_? But that’s all he had ever done, wasn’t it? He’d run away from the shouted and slurred words, running to a room as a child and to his brother when he was older because he couldn’t even fight his own battles. He was always running, always hiding as though it would change anything. Of course, his own father wouldn’t want him, and Cronus probably wasn’t far behind.

He pressed his hands harder against his head, tears soaking his jeans as he tried to force the cutting thoughts away. His scalp hurt as the grip pulled at his curls, but he didn’t care anymore because at least the pain gave him something to focus on other than his own absolutely worthless-

A bright light washed over him, turning the inside of his eyelids red. The sound of a car’s engine made him curl up tighter as he waited for it to pass.

It didn’t.

He heard a door open, a voice calling into the open air. Something in his mind tried to make sense of the syllables, knowing he had heard it but unable to piece together what had been said. Footsteps approached him, getting faster as they closed in on him.

A hand touched his shoulder, his head jerking away from his knees as his eyes shot open. The cool air dried the tears on his cheeks, his vision still blurry as he looked up. Someone stood in front of him, eyebrows furrowed over familiar mismatched eyes. His lips were moving, the sound reaching Eridan in a jumbled mess of sounds that he was far too tired to focus on. His eyes slid shut and his head slumped against the other’s chest for a moment before a second voice made him look up.

Simon stood behind Sollux, a concerned expression creasing his face. Eridan took a deep breath and forced himself to focus on the words being spoken, meeting the other’s eyes tiredly.

“Eridan,” he said cautiously, sounding almost as if he was talking to a wounded animal. As though he was scared Eridan would run again, but even if he wanted to he was too tired. “Are you hurt?”

He shook his head, tucking his head into Sollux’s chest again.

“I’ll call his brother,” Eridan heard, unable to hide his flinch when Sollux had his arms around him. The Captor held him a little tighter, helping him to his feet and pulling him toward the car. Mr. Captor was standing beside the other open door, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

Eridan tried to ignore him, climbing into the backseat and staring at his hands.

“ED?”

He glanced at Sollux, wiping his face with the back of his hand. The other looked pained, his glasses at the end of his nose.

“Ith thith where you’ve been for the patht hour?”

Eridan furrowed his brow, frowning. An hour? He really didn’t think he’d been gone for that long, though as he looked out the window he noticed how dark it really was outside. He wondered how long they had been looking for him, his chest hurting as he hunched in on himself. Of course, he couldn’t just be a nuisance to his brother, he just had to drag his boyfriend’s family into this too. Sollux should just give up on him, he wasn’t worth the trouble-

Sollux’s arms were suddenly around him again, a warm hand wiping away fresh tears you hadn’t realized were falling.

“Eridan? Are you okay?” He sounded almost panicked as he spoke, but Eridan just buried his face in his hands and refused to answer him. Not that he really could without his notebook.

The door of the car opened and closed, the engine starting a moment later. He didn’t look up as the car began to move, just listening to the voices around him.

“Did you get ahold of him?” Sollux asked, his arm still around Eridan’s shoulders.

“He’s going to meet us at the house,” Simon’s voice sounded tense and Eridan could almost hear the frown as the car faded into silence for the remainder of the journey. It wasn’t long before Sollux was pulling him from the car, his head kept down until he heard another car’s door close and a voice made him freeze.

“Eridan!”

Eridan stared at his brother, his words from before echoing deep in his skull. Heat built in his eyes, but he grit his teeth and forced the tears back, hurrying into the house. Mituna poked his head out of the living room, immediately in front of Eridan and poking his cheek.

“You’re back!” he grinned, unaware of the situation. “Your brother called for Dad earlier and everyone dithappeared. Are you thleeping over again?” Eridan almost couldn’t keep up with how fast he was talking, much less reply, so he was grateful when Sollux ushered him into the living room.

“Not right now, Tuna,” he said, sounding both irritated and tired, though Eridan had a feeling neither of those emotions were directed towards Mituna.

Mituna’s face fell into a frown and he crouched in front of where Eridan had sat on the couch, placing himself directly into Eridan’s line of sight. He pushed his bangs out of his eyes and frowned up at Eridan.

‘ _Are you okay?_ ’

Eridan tried for a smile, but it didn’t last long. ‘ _Not really,_ ’ he admitted. ‘ _But it’ll pass._ ’

Mituna’s frown turned to a determined expression and he sprinted out of the room. Eridan could hear the front door shut, bits of conversation floating into the living room.

“He was curled up on bench in the middle of the park when it was almost dark!” he heard Simon hiss. “What part of that sounds okay to you?”

“He was mad at me! I went looking for him, didn’t I?”

“Not until he was gone for an hour!”

“I thought he needed to blow off steam!”

Footsteps ran back down the hall, putting a pause to the conversation. “Oh. You’re here,” Mituna huffed, glaring down the hall before running to Eridan. He held a bright yellow helmet in his hands, a red and blue visor across the front. He’d had the same helmet when they had gone skating, though Eridan wasn’t sure why he had it now. With a wide grin, he held it out to Eridan, who could only look at it in confusion.

“Mituna, I don’t-“ Sollux started, but Mituna cut him off.

“Dad got it for me,” he told Eridan, putting it in his hands. “Becauthe the world wath too fucking loud and bright and jutht ugh,” he huffed. “I uthed to wear it a lot and it made me feel better. I jutht uthe it for thkating now, but you can borrow it.”

Eridan stared at the helmet, his vision blurring again. ‘ _Thanks, Tuna._ ’

Mituna grinned brightly, though the quiet seemed to get to him after a moment and he started fiddling with the gaming system. Eridan leaned back, taking a deep breath. Sollux got up for a moment, returning with a notebook and a pen that he shoved into Eridan’s hands.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

_Nothin._

“I’m not thtupid, you know,” Sollux hissed, scowling. “You weren’t crying in the park for no fucking reathon.”

_Did you ever consider that it’s none of your business?_

“It’th my buthineth becauthe you went fucking mithing! We had to go find you, tho yeah I think the whole ‘why’ bit of that ith my buthineth!”

_I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO COME FIND ME!_

“When do you ever athk for help?” Sollux snapped. “You jutht try to handle it yourthelf and when you can’t you give up!”

Eridan flinched, pushing Sollux away from him.

_I’ve dealt with enough shit tonight, I don’t need this._

“There wouldn’t be anything to deal with- hell I could HELP you deal with it! Jutht tell me! Why are you tho thcared to tell me anything?”

Eridan glanced at the doorway, the movement not missed by Sollux. His brow furrowed before his eyes widened a little.

“…wath it your brother?”

His expression tightened, and he hunched his shoulders a little. After a few seconds, he nodded.

_We had a fight._ His writing was shaky, his eyes firmly on the paper. _My dad invited us to the company Christmas party._

“And? He’th an ath. What, ith Cronuth trying to make you go?”

Eridan shook his head, still not looking at the other. It was almost funny, if things had turned out that way. Of course, if Cronus wanted any sort of approval from your father you most likely wouldn’t be here.

_I want to go._

“Wha- why? Your Dad thuckth.”

_But he invited me._

“And?”

_Sollux. This is the first time he’s made an effort to acknowledge my existence in my life. If there’s a chance that he gives a shit then I’ve got to try, don’t I?_

He paused and Eridan finally met his gaze, almost scared of hearing exactly what Cronus had told him. Instead, Sollux seemed to think for a moment.

“Look…if you really want to go to thith that badly…I think you have every right. But I don’t think you should be there alone.”

_Well, Fef will probably be there. And I doubt Cronus would let me go without him, if he even lets me go at all._

“Well…obviouthly. But…I could be there for you too.”

Eridan stared at him in surprise, his mouth falling open a little.

Sollux took the lack of answer as a bad thing, stumbling over himself and words tumbled out of his mouth. “Only if you want me there. I mean, I don’t know how your Dad would be with…er... me. Honethtly, I’d probably be the latht perthon you want there if you’re trying to impreth him…”

He kept rambling, getting progressively more self-depreciating as he went. Eridan wasn’t quite sure how to help with that, given he followed pretty similar thought patterns, but he figured a good start was to get him to shut up. He poked him to try and get his attention, but Sollux seemed pretty preoccupied by his rant. An idea from one of the many romcoms he’d watched during any time spent hanging out with Karkat popped into his mind, bringing a light blush to his cheeks. He leaned forward, fully intending to distract Sollux with a quick kiss to his cheek, just as the Captor turned his head. Their lips met for a moment before both of them pulled back in surprise, pale skin burning bright red.

“…well, that’th one way to shut me up,” Sollux mumbled before the two of them burst into giggles. Eridan hid his face in Sollux’s shirt, smiling to himself before he pulled back to scribble in the notebook.

_Quit with the bullshit about yourself, okay? I was just surprised you wanted to come, dummy._

“Why wouldn’t I?”

_Because you’ve said more than once that you think he’s a piece of shit._

“Which he ith, but that’th exthactly why I’d rather be there. I can’t fight him for being an ath to you if I’m thtuck at home.”

Eridan lightly pushed Sollux’s shoulder, his own shoulders shaking with snickers. _You’re not going to fight my dad._

“Why not?”

_Okay, for one he’s probably at least six inches taller than you and he actually works out. I’m pretty sure you couldn’t fight anyone with those noodle arms. Second, he’s the CEO of AMPORACORP. That makes him a pretty big deal and you’d get in trouble._

“Yeah. Becauthe a guy with that much pride would definitely make it known that a teenager punched him,” Sollux snorted, but sighed and pulled Eridan to his chest. “Fine, fine. I won’t fight your dad. But I thtill want to be there. Jutht to, you know, look out for you.”

Eridan smiled briefly. _I…I want you there too. I’m pretty sure my Dad doesn’t care about guests, but we can ask Cro about it._

Sollux looked up. “I think they’re in the kitchen.”

The Ampora stood, not letting go of Sollux’s hand as they walked to the other room. Cronus was standing on one side of the table, Simon and Mr. Captor on the other.

“Look, I appreciate the offer, but I think we’re doing just fine on our own.”

“I understand that, Mr. Ampora, but given what happened today- Yes, Sollux?”

Eridan gripped Sollux’s hand tighter, encouraging the other and grounding himself.

“I want to go to the Chrithtmath party with Eridan.”

All three adults shared a shocked look, Cronus’s brow furrowing.

“You really don’t. My father-“

“Ith way too obthethed with hith image to do thomething at a company party with a bunch of buthineth athothiateth around. Right?”

Cronus grimaced.

“And wouldn’t there be a bigger chanthe of him getting pithed if you didn’t go? Pluth, I get that he’th an ath (thorry, Dad), but Eridan ith really inthithtent on giving him a chanthe. If thingth go thouth, then bail.”

Eridan nodded, letting go of Sollux’s hand to sign. ‘ _Please, Cronus. We can leave if he says anything. And Fef has to go with her Mom, so we can probably get through the whole thing without even talking to him! Please. I know you’re worried about me, but I’ll have you and Fef and Sol. And you can even bring Kankri for extra support!_ ’

There was a long silence before Cronus sighed. “You’re not going to give this up, are you?”

‘ _Please?_ ’

“Sollux, I don’t know how comfortable I am with you going. I mean…it’s in the city and I don’t know how late you’ll be.”

“Dad, I’m not a little kid. I can take care of mythelf.”

“…I know. Phillip?”

Mr. Captor frowned and looked at Sollux. “Call us if you need anything. If there’s an emergency or you want to leave early or anything. And don’t cause any trouble, alright?”

Sollux brightened. “I will. Thankth, Dadth.”

Cronus rubbed the bridge of his nose as if fending off a headache and pulled out his phone. “Alright, just… let me check if guests are allowed before we make any plans.”

He stepped out of the room with the device to his ear, coming back in a few minutes later with an annoyed an expression.

‘ _What’d he say?_ ’

“I could only get ahold of his secretary, but she said all invitees could bring a plus one. I guess… that’s that then.” He glanced at the screen of his phone again. “Eridan and I should be headin out soon. It’s getting late. Thank you for all your help.”

Simon smiled warmly. “Anytime. You two let us know if you need anything, alright?”

Both Ampora’s nodded as Eridan followed Cronus out the door. He gave Sollux a hug and a quick, flustered peck on the porch before he climbed into Cronus’s car. His brother was quiet for the entire ride home, which didn’t help Eridan’s mood as the warmth of the Captor house faded.

They pulled back into the driveway and Cronus didn’t make a move to get out of the car, running his hands through his hair and sighing deeply.

“Just for the record, Eri, I still think this is a bad idea.”

‘ _I know. But…I just…I have to try._ ’

“…I know. And…I’m sorry for what I said. It was uncalled for and I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.” He glared at the steering wheel.

‘ _It’s alright,_ ’ Eridan signed after catching his attention.

“…it’s not. We were arguing and I said something because I knew it would hurt you…just like him.”

‘ _Cronus, you’re not like him!_ ’

“But what if I end up that way?!”

‘ _You won’t._ ’

“How-“

‘ _You’re nothing like him, Cronus. Just trust me, okay?_ ’

Cronus sighed, but smiled and messed up Eridan’s hair. “Alright, Eri. Then let’s just focus on surviving this Christmas party.”

Eridan huffed and got out of the car. ‘ _Don’t be such a pessimist, Cronus._ ’ As if he was in any position to talk about that.

‘ _I’ve got a good feelin about this party._ ’


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm so sorry this took so long, but now I'm back and this story is too!  
> TW: this chapter has a lot of talk about mental illness, eating disorders, and some mentions of child abuse.  
> (I do not have diabetes and all of the information I have on it is from research. I am sorry if anything is inaccurate!)

 ‘ _I have a good feelin about this party._ ’

At this point Eridan was mostly just repeating it to convince himself, swallowing any doubts and plastering on the most convincing smile he could whenever anyone looked his way. He’d fallen asleep as soon as he’d gotten home the first night, blaming it on the stress of the day and the exhaustion from running as far as he had, though he admitted internally that he was avoiding his brother. He’d only snuck out once the next day for food and a glass of water, though he only grabbed an apple to eat before disappearing to his room again.

Nerves swelled in his stomach and chest, his throat closing in the way that would keep him silent even if he could speak. When he woke up the next morning, he pulled his covers over his head and simply stayed there for far longer than anyone would believe he was ‘sleeping in.’ Once he finally forced himself out of bed, he poked his head out of his room, heart pounding in his ears and throat as he shuffled to the kitchen, guilt knawing into him at the relieved sigh he let out when he didn’t see Cronus anywhere.

His brother had done a lot for him, protecting him and offering him an escape from the suffocating household he’d known, so why was he so willing to go back? He should be happy to be free, happy someone had cared enough to offer a hand.

Eridan’s stomach twisted and he shoved the cereal box back into the cabinet, appetite lost.

The sound of a car door closing outside made him jump, rushing back to his room and shutting the door behind him before the front doorknob even turned. He briefly considered texting Sollux, but only ended up staring at the screen of his phone before putting it back on his nightstand and curling up beneath the covers while pangs of hunger battled with nausea and small pings of incoming texts made him flinch until he shut the noise off.

When Cronus did open the door, he had a cautious look on his face that made Eridan grit his teeth. He looked so much like Sollux’s father had when they’d hovered above him in the park, like he was something fragile. Something that could fall apart, something that could run away.

Like a scared animal.

He wanted to tell them exactly where they could shove their pity, to scream and push everyone away from him because he wasn’t weak. He wasn’t going to shatter when he was already broken and at least if they weren’t around they couldn’t cut themselves on whatever was left of him. They didn’t need to look at him like that.

Maybe he would prefer home, where he was just ignored. Having people worry about him was terrifying and unfamiliar, because it would only hit harder when they finally decided he wasn’t worth it.

Instead of screaming, or at the very least trying to, he let Cronus hand him a plate of food and kept nodding until the door closed again. The glass made a soft noise when he set it on the nightstand, but it was almost overwhelming in the silence of his room. His hand was shaking slightly, so he tapped it against his leg as he searched his desk for his headphones.

With an internal curse, he realized with a fresh bout of nausea that they might very well be in the living room. If he walked out there, Cronus would ask questions. He’d figure out something was wrong and if Eridan admitted that he was having doubts about something he’d insisted so hard that he wanted then…

He tugged on the pale lock of hair hanging in front of his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this. He wasn’t going to spend his life afraid and how could he prove that he didn’t need to be looked at with pity if he couldn’t even go to a simple party? No. He couldn’t let them know.

When the shaking in his fingers had subsided, he pressed his ear to the thin wood of his door, listening for any sign his brother was still in the living room. A muffled voice could be heard, just quiet enough to keep him from making out the words.

Eridan slowly turned the knob and opened the door a little, already able to make out more of the conversation.

“I just don’t know what I’m doin here, Kanny,” Cronus huffed. Eridan froze, his hand still gripping the knob of his door. “It’s like I’m watching it happen through a glass wall and I can’t do a damn thing!” His voice rose a little and Eridan wished desperately he could say he hadn’t flinched.

There was a pause. “He won’t talk to me.” Another, shorter pause. “Don’t be a smart ass, Kankri, you know what I meant.” An even shorter pause. “Sorry- shit I’m sorry, I know. I- shit-“ His apologies trailed into mumbles and Eridan heard the soft rustle of him sitting on the couch. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just…I’m worried. I thought things were getting better.”

Eridan pressed his forehead to the door, his glasses pressed uncomfortably to his face as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“He’s been in his room all day and I don’t even think he’s eaten. I took him dinner but…” There was a deep sigh. “He looks so damn thin. I thought he was eating more or at least more regularly but… what if it’s not enough? I don’t know what to do but if I push too hard I might fuck him up more. Hell, I don’t even know what he’d do if I took him to a doctor.”

Swallowing the beginnings of a sob, Eridan shut the door as quietly as he could and slid down the door to sit with his knees against his chest. He sniffled and stretched his hands out in front of him, palms facing away. He could see his pale skin stretched over the bones, his nails chewed down to almost nothing. There were spots of pink around the edges of some nails where he pulled at the dead skin when there was no more nail to bite off. His fingers were thin, his eyes catching the trembling and following it until tears blurred his vision. He curled his hands into fists and wrapped his arms around himself, his fingers tracing his ribs through his shirt as he thought about what his brother had said.

The smell of the food growing cold on his nightstand caught his attention and he slowly rose, taking a small breath as his nose scrunched up and he shuffled over to the plate. He picked up the fork, a bite’s worth of food sitting neatly on it, and shoved it into his mouth, almost gagging but forcing himself to swallow past the reflex as a fresh wave of tears welled in his eyes.

Why was it so fucking hard to do something as simple as eating?

His stomach was an all-out battle as the roiling part of him rejected even the concept of food and the rest of him screamed for nutrition. He wondered if the pain would eventually go away if he just waited until hungry became normal. Was that what had happened for all the time he couldn’t remember being hungry for days at a time?

But no. Cronus was worried that he wasn’t eating and logically he knew he had to eat.

He forced himself to take another bite, his hand tight enough around the fork to be painful. Just the other day he’d eaten just fine, what had changed.

Thoughts of the Captor house filled his head and he tried to capture the warm feeling he’d felt eating with them, but it wasn’t long before Simon’s face turned to the pitying, fearful expression that he’d seen the night before.

He set the fork down and curled up against his pillow, letting himself sob over his own infuriating weaknesses all the while hoping that maybe he could make himself finish the food in a little bit.

He woke up to a still soggy spot on his pillow, his eyes still feeling puffy and his limbs stiff and heavy. It was only made worse by the realization that he had school today, his hands rubbing over his eyes to try to alleviate the puffiness.

As he pried himself from his covers, he froze and stared at the plate of food still sitting on his nightstand. He’d meant to eat it, he really had, but…

He picked it up and chewed his lip, wondering if he could get to the kitchen and dump it while Cronus was busy, but while he was trying to plan it was ruined by his brother opening the door.

Cronus looked a little surprised when he saw him, maybe shocked to see him up already since he was probably opening the door to wake him. The look crumpled a little as he took in the plate sitting in Eridan’s hands and the younger Ampora almost withered under the disappointment that disappeared in the blink of an eye. Cronus took the plate with a shrug, stepping out of the room.

“I’ll get this cleaned up. You get ready for school.”

Eridan stood there, staring at the closed door for several seconds. He’d promised Cronus he’d eat, that he would try. He wanted to apologize, to assure him that he _was_ trying! He’d wanted to eat it, but it had just…he’d fallen asleep.

He numbly got dressed and stayed as far away from the kitchen as he could while he got ready. He could fix this, convince Cronus that he was okay.

If Cronus was worried about him eating, then all he had to do was eat…right? So, he could just eat breakfast.

The part of his stomach that seemed directly connected to the shaking, scared part of him protested, but he firmly told it that it could return to it’s assigned seat for long enough for him to eat a fucking bowl of cereal.

He grabbed his bag and took a deep breath before starting for the kitchen. Before he could round the corner, he heard a shaky breath that made him stop in his tracks. There was water running that almost covered it, but as soon as it shut off he could hear a barely audible sniff. With a jerk of sudden motion, he rounded the corner and stared with wide eyes at his brother.

He could count the times he’d seen Cronus cry on one hand. Of the brother’s, Cronus had always been the strong one. He’d been the one who stood up to their father, the one who protected him, the one who sang songs to him when he was younger and always greeted every situation with a smug smile.

Eridan felt frozen in place as Cronus met his wide eyes, his face wet and his eyes red. “Eri-“

Before Cronus could say a word, Eridan darted for the door and almost ran into Sollux on the porch. The taller teen stumbled backwards, his eyes widening as he looked down. “ED, what’th-“

Eridan grabbed his hand and started down the driveway, his emotions tense and screaming to the point of becoming deafening white noise that blocked out the actual feelings. It was somewhere between actually peaceful and cripplingly overwhelming. He didn’t know if he could actually attempt to handle this situation without entirely breaking down, so instead he just let his brain shut down as he put himself on autopilot.

Karkat and Dave met them in the usual area and for a moment Karkat looked like he was about to say something, but after looking at Sollux he stayed silent.

Eridan wondered if Sollux had told Karkat what happened and hunched his shoulders, gritting his teeth. Of course, he had. They probably all knew, were all pitying him right now.

Poor little Eridan, who runs off and bothers everyone and freaks out over little things that don’t FUCKING MATTER-

“ED?” Sollux tugged on his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the other and tried to keep his face neutral, raising an eyebrow. The Captor glanced at the school, which was right in front of them, and to the door that Eridan had been glaring at for who knew how long. He flushed and pulled the door open, letting go of Sollux’s hand and hurrying to the library.

When Sollux sat down, he kept his distance from the other. Eridan wanted to curl up to him, to hide in the familiar warmth and pretend the world didn’t exist but Sollux was one of the people who absolutely couldn’t see how nervous he was.

He’d tell Cronus and they’d tell him he didn’t have to go, and he _wouldn’t_ because he was a fucking coward. He refused to let himself hide behind them, absolutely furious at the fear that bubbled in his stomach. What did he have to be afraid of? Maybe he’d come across one of the stupid colors that Sollux insisted wasn’t silly to panic over and make a fool off himself in front of his father’s business partners, as though the man needed more of a reason to hate him.

Sollux nudged him when the bell rang, walking him to class but staying just far away enough that their shoulders didn’t brush and Eridan felt his resolve crumpling a little.

Instead of acknowledging that, he kept his eyes on the floor and signed a quick ‘thank you’ to Sollux before disappearing into the classroom. Karkat, for once, didn’t say anything, but the silence was almost more frustrating than if he had tried to talk to him. He gripped his pencil tightly, testing the strength of the wood until the bell rang.

The next period wasn’t much better, though Nepeta didn’t seem to be ‘in the loop’ about what had happened. She smiled brightly at him and asked what was wrong when he didn’t respond in kind, frowning huffily when he ignored her.

He felt a little pang of regret when she stopped trying, but he just hunched over his project and kept his eyes on his own desk. Ms. Callie seemed to notice as well, wishing him well as he left. He just ducked his head and hurried away, not even flinching when he barely avoided crashing directly into Mr. Makara. The man’s odd makeup seemed to twist his face even more as he avoided the student, but Eridan was too focused on not focusing on his surroundings to really notice it as he headed to swim class.

Coach Nitram was happily announcing the next meet, the news sitting heavy in the back of Eridan’s throat as he recalled the last meet. It didn’t help that the Coach had pulled him aside to tell him not to overwork himself for the meets, having heard that he’d collapsed right after the last one.

Eridan grit his teeth until he tasted blood in his mouth, not even bothering to pretend he was paying attention in speech class. Luckily, Terezi spent most of the class making the class ‘fun’ for herself, so he could let himself fade into the background.

When the bell rang for lunch, he stood, only to remember exactly who he’d see at lunch. There was no way he could sit with that group without facing questions. Without being forced to admit he wasn’t as okay as he tried to appear. He could already feel the temptation to break seeping into his bones and his shaking limbs as he turned a corner and ducked into the nurse’s office.

Mrs. Paint gave him a worried look and a small sleeve of crackers for nausea, agreeing to let him lay down if he promised to at least try and eat them. When she asked if he wanted her to call his brother, he had paled a little and insisted he just needed some rest, which didn’t seem to help.

He curled up on the crinkly paper, grimacing as he nibbled along the very edge of the first cracker in the sleeve. Not bothering to actually lay down, he pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them.

The sound of someone else coming into the nurse’s office barely caught his attention until a familiar voice grew closer.

“Nah, it’s fine, Mrs. P. I know where everything is.”

“If you’re sure, David. Be careful though, there’s someone laying down.”

“No prob. And come on, Mrs. P, it’s just Dave.”

Eridan stiffened as Dave walked into the smaller back room of the nurse’s office, though the blonde only raised an eyebrow when he first stepped in. The Ampora watched as he crossed the room to the counter on the other side, pulling out a few things from the cabinet.

“So, whatcha in for?” He asked. Eridan thought he glanced at him, but it was so hard to tell with the shades. He didn’t really feel like getting his notebook out, but maybe if he just signed something the Strider would give up.

‘ _None of your business._ ’

Dave gave Eridan a blank look, thoroughly unimpressed, and turned back to the counter to press something to the tip of his finger. Eridan watched curiously as he pulled it away, a drop of red now welling bright against the pale skin.

“Well that’s just fucking rude. I’m honestly hurt, Ampora,” he said in a voice as unimpressed as his expression while he put the blood onto a small strip and fed it into a blocky device. “Does Sollux know you’re here?”

Eridan’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘ _I didn’t know you knew sign language._ ’

“Well that sounds like a you problem,” Dave shrugged, though Eridan could see the tiniest bit of a smirk at the edges of his lips. “Gonna answer the question or keep dodging it like it’s a sweaty dude with a mouth guard you’re in the octagon with?”

‘ _It doesn’t matter. He’s my boyfriend, not my babysitter._ ’

Dave’s expression fell right back to unimpressed as he began fiddling with something else. “And? He’s fucking worried about you, dude. A lot of us are.”

Eridan glared at him, ‘ _Well fuckin don’t._ ’

“Why not? Not like you’re gonna worry about yourself.” Eridan flinched, but Dave didn’t seem to notice as he pulled up his shirt a little. “Hey, if needles make you squeamish you might want to look away. Unless you’re into feelin squeamish, but even then look away cause I ain’t your free entertainment. Or don’t, whatever.”

Before Eridan could even raise an eyebrow, Dave pinched a bit of his abdomen with one hand and with the other jabbed a needle into the tissue. The Ampora watched curiously as he pulled it back out and dropped it into the sharps disposal and plastered a Hello Kitty bandage over the spot on his stomach.

“Now then-“ The Strider walked over to where Eridan sat, standing in front of him with his hands on his hips. “What the fuck is up with you?”

‘ _What does it matter to you?_ ’

“You’re my fucking friend and friends talk to each other. So, let’s gossip, fucker.” Dave let the silence sit for a minute before heaving out a sigh. “Dude, at least last time I saw you, you looked like you at least were aware of what food was. What the fuck happened over the weekend that made you look so jumpy and Sollux look like he was gonna lose his shit because I’m not really the kind of person to just sit around while my friends are going through some shit.”

‘ _What makes you think we’re friends?_ ’

Eridan meant to be harsh, hoping to make him leave, but it only seemed to reinforce his resolve and he pulled off his sunglasses, fixing the Ampora in place with his piercing red gaze. “No, you know what fuck that. I’m not gonna fucking back off just because you decided to be mean, cause guess what I’ve heard worse so why don’t you make this a whole lot easier and just tell me what the fuck is up before-“ He cut off, his brow furrowing, and Eridan realized tears were sliding down his cheeks. The red color was cutting into him, making him shudder to his core and all the while not letting him look away. It was almost like the first time he’d seen Kankri’s pinkish-red eyes, with the difference being the actual blood red of Dave’s.

His breath shortened to the all to familiar shallowness of hyperventilation and his shaking grew worse, his mind screaming that the color was wrong as something painful pressed on the back of his mind. Something he could almost remember.

Dave put his shades back on and the spell broke, Eridan’s hands immediately covering his face as a shaky sob escaped him as he curled in on himself.

“Ampora? Eridan, I-“ the Strider cursed under his breath. “Do you want me to tell the nurse?”

Eridan shook his head almost violently, trying to force his breathing to return to normal and only getting more frustrated when it refused. This was his body, why wasn’t it listening why couldn’t he stop why-

A hand hesitantly touched his shoulder. “Can I touch you?”

Eridan paused, but nodded, and Dave firmly gripped his shoulders. “Hey, look at me.”

He slowly lowered his hands, staring at his own reflection in Dave’s shades.

“I know it sucks, but just breathe. You’re okay, I promise. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Eridan tried to suck in a breath, but it stuttered coming in and made his head spin.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dave told him again, making his breathing slow and audible. “Just focus on my breathing.”

He tried to follow it, focusing on Dave’s pale eyebrows instead of the trembling reflection until the shaking subsided. When he managed to keep his breathing under control, Dave let go of him and sat beside him instead.

“Better?”

He nodded. After a few minutes of awkward silence Dave glanced at him again.

“…Sorry. I didn’t mean to set you off.”

Eridan shook his head. ‘ _It wasn’t your fault._ ’

“No, I was fucking pushing you and you’re right it’s none of my business-“

‘ _It wasn’t your fault it was your eyes._ ’

Dave stared at Eridan at that, looking for a moment like he was having to restart his entire train of thought at the information.

“My eyes? Well, that’s a new one. Usually people find them weird or freaky, but I don’t think I’ve ever given someone a panic attack before.”

‘ _It’s-_ ‘ Eridan paused. ’ _It’s just the fuckin color. Blood colored things can bother me._ ’ He glared at his knees. ‘ _I know it’s stupid._ ’

“What? Fuck no. Triggers aren’t stupid, hell there are probably people freaked out by weirder stuff.”

‘ _I’m so sick of people telling me it’s fine! I know it’s not, I know it’s not normal!_ ’

“Well what’s a normal fear?”

Eridan shrugged. ‘ _The dark? Thunder? Spiders?_ _I don’t fucking know because I’m scared of colors of all things and it’s stupid. I should just be able to get over it._ ’

“Dude. You can’t just ‘get over’ that shit easily. Anxiety and panic attacks and shit are because of chemical shit in your brain.”

‘ _Well, it should just work right!_ ’

“And my body should make insulin!” Dave rolled his eyes, or well… Eridan was pretty sure that’s what he did. “Look, you think colors are a stupid thing to get freaked out over?”

Eridan hunched his shoulders and nodded a little, not sure where he was going with this. “Well, would you say swords are a stupid thing to panic over?” He raised his eyebrows as Dave continued, giving his head a small shake. “What about just the sound of metal? Or the smell of tar and concrete? Or, hell, would it be stupid for someone to have a panic attack from the feeling of felt against them or getting too hot?”

Eridan shook his head again.

“Why not? None of those are normal fears.”

‘ _Well they probably have a reason-_ ‘

“And so do you.”

‘ _But that’s the thing! I don’t!_ ’

“Maybe it’s just one that you don’t know about.”

Eridan frowned.

“Look, man, have you ever tried talking to a therapist?”

The lack of an answer was probably telling enough.

“Well…” Dave reached over to the notebook sticking out of Eridan’s bag and scribbled a name and number on it. “If you ever want to, this lady’s really good.”

Eridan gave Dave a look that made the blonde roll his eyes.

“Derrik took me to her when I was fourteen and I see her about once a month now. It helps.”

‘ _Derrik_?’

“My second oldest brother. He’s a hotshot movie director, so he’s on a shoot right now but I can probably introduce you to him when he’s home. Get an autograph before he gets super famous and sell it for a couple hundred on eBay. Actually, shit that’s a good idea I’m gonna get him to sign a bunch of shit.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, but smiled a bit, feeling much calmer. ‘ _How many brothers do you even have? You said he’s your second oldest?_ ’

That made the smile slide right off Dave’s face and he stiffened, suddenly fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. “I’ve got three,” he said, his voice lacking any emotion and making Eridan frown. Had he done something wrong?

Dave caught the look and sighed. “Sorry if I’m not all hype to get into tragic backstories like some kind of anime special where everyone sees exactly what fucked whatever character up and everyone cries because why the fuck is that appealing it just sounds messy.”

He pursed his lips for a second before sighing again through his nose. “Okay, you know what? You tell me what’s up with you and I’ll tell you some shit, okay? Like some unlocked backstory trading or whatever. …and whatever it is…it’s safe with me. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

Eridan considered it for a moment, staring at his hands. It would probably be good to get it off his chest, honestly. He couldn’t talk to Cronus about it, obviously, and telling Sollux or Feferi was as good as telling Cronus. If Dave really wouldn’t tell anyone…

‘ _I used to live with my dad. He wasn’t home a lot and when he was he didn’t really talk to me. After Cro moved out I fended for myself mostly, at least until I moved in with him. Our dad sent us invitations to his companies Christmas party and… I want to go but I’m fucking scared and I shouldn’t be but I am._ ’

“Well why the fuck would you want to go back if you’re scared of him?”

‘ _Because I shouldn’t be scared of him! He wasn’t…It could have been a lot worse. But this is the first time he’s acknowledged me in a long while and if this is his way of reaching out what if I miss it?_ ’ Eridan slumped against the wall. ‘ _Fuck. It sounds stupid when I actually say it._ ’

Dave was quiet for a minute and Eridan fully expected him to tell him exactly how idiotic his reasoning was when the Strider shrugged.

“I mean, I get it, man. If-“ He adjusted his shades. “There are people that absolutely don’t deserve another chance, but if it seemed like they wanted one I can’t say I wouldn’t hand it over.” He swallowed audibly. “I guess it’s my turn now?”

‘ _You don’t have to._ ’

“Nah, it might help.” He shifted. “I have three brothers, but I only live with two of them. Dirk and Derrik. You know Dirk from here and I just told you about Derrik. Our older brother… well his name is Ambrose but that sounds so fuckin weird to me because until I was thirteen I only called him Bro. Apparently when I was a toddler the asshole disappeared to Texas with me after our parents kicked it, but the first thing I remember clearly is being dumped on Derrik and Dirk’s doorstep on my thirteenth birthday with a duffle bag and a folder of paperwork. Guess he had better things to do.” He shrugged. “Like I said, I don’t remember a lot but what I do wasn’t… pleasant. So, I know it’s not exactly the same, but I get what being raised by a shitty person is like.”

Eridan had never been good at reacting to other people, or comforting them, but the awkward pat he gave Dave’s shoulder seemed to work just fine. The Strider chuckled a little and stood up, stretching his arms over his head. His shirt lifted a little, revealing the Hello Kitty bandage and the end of a thick, mostly faded line that made Eridan think about what Dave meant when he said his childhood had been unpleasant. He looked up at him, but the other only offered a grin that for once didn’t seem stifled.

“Well, I need to eat, and so do you, asshole. What do you say we head to the cafeteria so you can let your boyfriend know you aren’t dead?”

Eridan tensed again but steeled himself with a deep breath and stood up. Dave grinned and lifted his arm, pausing until Eridan nodded before slinging it over Eridan’s shoulders and waving at the nurse as they left.

“Look, I won’t say anything to them,” Dave said when they were in the hallway. “But I think you should. If you’re nervous about the whole thing, but still want to go, then tell them. They’re not going to force you to stay home, but they might be able to help you not end up with an anxiety attack. They won’t be able to stop all of them, but hey it could help.”

Eridan nodded, this time meaning it as they stepped into the cafeteria to Karkat yelling at them, demanding to know where they’d been. Sollux looked cautious, worry barely hidden, and Eridan took a deep breath before taking his hand and offering a reassuring smile.

He ran his free hand over the journal in his bag, thinking to the number scrawled inside with a little more confidence about calling it.

He was Eridan fucking Ampora, after all. He could do this.


End file.
